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You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


I've no interest to see Cars 2 at all. I think it's a pointless sequel to one of Pixar's weakest films, but hey, $$$ in merchandising. That doesn't mean I need to see the State Farm commercial with Mater and the two spy cars every single goddamn commercial break on any channel at any time, anywhere.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0SPudMl4Fc

You're losing my faith, Pixar.

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You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Kanish posted:

I just saw a ad for a new A&E series, American Hoggers....

I remember when A&E used to show ballet and opera performances, something that actually relates to the term "arts & entertainment." Now, it's 14 hours of C.S.I. Miami, 6 hours of stupid reality poo poo like this, and four hours of infomercials for dick enlarging pills. So close to canceling my cable for good...

DJExile posted:

Every ad is going to exaggerate claims though. It's really not any different from showing a hybrid driving a crazy amount of miles or a sports model doing figure-8s in the Salt Flats even though nobody's ever going to do that.

I always find it funny that commercial trucks drive through the muddiest bogs, acres of pig poo poo, hurricane force rain and rail, icy tundras and dusty backwater dirt roads, yet always arrive at its destination waxed and shiny as a dealership floor model. Even the commercials that try to show a little filth only end up putting a tiny bit of mud on the fenders, like the truck drove through a very small watery puddle once. It's like that commercial where the couple are trying to find their Jeep (?) in a vast canyon by clicking the alarm, only to have the sound echo everywhere. There it sits behind a big outcropping, as clean as if it's just had a major wash, wax and detail with q-tips and toothbrushes.

Yeah, yeah, if I were a manufacturer of something, I'd want it to look clean and new rather than filthy and unappealing, too, but at least give me a little realism eveery now and again, please. Some folks actually use and abuse their trucks and/or 4-wheel drives.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


smg77 posted:

This is really interesting. When I was a kid those characters were a huge deal at McDs (loved the Hamburgler) and I always wondered why they went away.

I think those characters went away because of the link between childhood obesity and places like McDonald's catering to said kids with colorful characters kids love. Hell, even Burger King once ruled a kingdom of characters in the 70s and 80s like Sir-Shake-A-Lot and The Duke of Doubt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4JRTgVghO0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfrH-puJ_cY

I only really vaguely [almost don't] remember the BK characters, but the McDonald's down the street from my folk's house had a full playground of McD's characters. The best was a giant Mayor McCheese you could climb and sit in his head made entirely out of metal with hard-packed sand below; none of that plastic and bouncy ground with wood chips poo poo kids have today

To get on topic, why is Taco Bell using The Flying Lizards' "Money (That's What I Want)" in their newest ad? I get that they want to because of the repeated lyric "that's what I want," but whenever I see this commercial, all I can think of is Taco Bell wanting my money.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Dred Cosmonaut posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZQLeeNo6Qw

This is still the best advert ever.

I know its supposed to be serious, but the way that dude says "You fuckin bitch" just gets me. Then I get mood whiplash when he abuses that lady.

Jesus Christ at all the "ironic" misogynist thumbs-up YouTube comments. God, I loving hate the Internet sometimes.

Egg Noodles posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkbS4Wl5YV8

Uh... yeah. This ad left me speechless.

This ad's been out for a few months, I believe, but this is the first I've seen online that's not a lovely recording of a camera aimed at a TV screen. Now that I hear it clearly, I realize that Tag Team rerecorded it as "POOP! There It Is!," and I just shake my head.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


I'm really goddamn tired of seeing these two scammy commercials ad nauseam on any given channel at any given time: mycleanpc.com and beenverified.com.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9m2s6QG1Q0

I can't take another commercial break seeing the spokesman's neon pink lips plastered on my screen. Too much makeup or not enough, holy poo poo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6boeAfMhao

I think it's the pregnant woman's ability to speak without moving her square jaw that's kind of unnerving to me, just like Mr. Pink Lips. Otherwise, this commercial sells paranoia pretty well. "It says here you were ticketed for going 5 miles over the speed limit on a country road sixteen years ago. YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY FAMILY, YOU PEDOPHILE RAPIST MONSTER!"

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Thus, it's a scam. I think it does something like show you free available information that any idiot with Google can do, but alerts you with some bullshit like, "THIS PERSON HAS THREE NOTICES YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT. PLEASE PAY $39.95 TO FIND OUT WHAT," which turns out to be more bullshit, but I could be wrong.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


So, can anybody tell me just what the hell "Jailhouse Rock" has to do with the new Fiat 500? I mean, I get that they're going for the whole old and new thing, but a loop of the opening two guitar strums and snare hits throughout the commercial (later filled with MAD BEATZ and a snippet of the guitar solo) is just... I don't know, bland and dumb, and gets pretty annoying once you've seen the commercial multiple times.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1MpTxActPI

Annoying and hateful? That's pushing it. Bland and terrible with a song that has absolutely nothing to do with a tiny Italian car other than the fact that they both came out in 1957? Bingo.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Mister Kingdom posted:

This is more a nitpick than anything else:

The Subaru ad where the guy goes to the junkyard where his crashed car sits. He reaches in and takes off the gear shift knob and puts it in his pocket. At the end, you see it on the front seat of his new car.

This ad gets me because that's all he had in the car? His shifter knob and I think some papers in the glovebox? When I was in my only car collision to date (not my fault; guy blew through a red light and I couldn't miss), I went to the place that my totaled car was at and made sure to look in every nook and cranny before I left that thing. I removed the stereo, the speakers, all my paperwork, my tools and jumper cables in the back, the flashlight and shop rags I kept under the seats, the change in the ashtray, and so much more little poo poo here and there. Hell, I even took the battery I'd just bought two weeks prior. This guy in the ad rolls up, takes his shifter knob and some paperwork, and after having a moment of silence for his wreck says, "Welp, see ya' later, car! VROOOM!"

But I guess it's better to see that than to watch some guy look under the dash, under the seats, in every little cubbyhole, etc.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Doc Hawkins posted:

People who can retain their sense of humor when a character comedically over-reacts to something inconsequential, perhaps.

So you're telling me that in this day and age, comedy gold and having a sense of humor is equal to watching someone belittle and mentally abuse someone else for doing something positive for his wife and family in the absolute bitchiest, most condescending way possible? Am I supposed to laugh at the wife's "overreaction" to her husband signing up the entire family for free unlimited messaging (which I stress is free) while the wife has a huge greenhouse filled to the brim with multiple plants that probably costs (in total) hundreds of dollars a month to upkeep? Call me crazy and humorless, but that's not comedy, nor is it having a sense of humor; that's just a hosed up twisted form of Schadenfreude, and it's a terrible goddamn commercial.

Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:

The Honda (I think) commercial with the family in the car doing an a capella version of Crazy Train. Instant mute.

Oh god, this commercial. If I had to ride with that family during a road trip, I'd probably stick a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger. While on the open highway. In the middle of one of their car sing-a-longs.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


CBJSprague24 posted:

Not that I hate it, but it just keeps coming back: How old is the Hershey's bell choir Christmas commercial?

And for that matter, what other long-lived Christmas commercials are out there? I swear I saw the Liz Taylor White Diamonds ad last winter that looked like it was fresh out of 1993.

The Hershey's Kiss bell choir commercial is from 1989 according to this answers.com question with a reference to the Hershey Archives (I always thought it was 1987), and White Diamonds came out in 1991 the same time as that old rear end commercial.

Some other long running commercials:

- M&M's "HE DOES EXIST!" "They do exist!" commercial with Santa and the M&Ms (from about 1997; still shown every year)
- Folgers' Coffee commercial with Peter coming home on X-mas day and waking everyone with coffee (circa 1985; ran for many moons until about 10 years ago)
- Fruity Pebbles' commercial with Fred finally giving Barney some cereal (circa 1988; same situation as the Folgers' commercial)

You Are A Elf fucked around with this message at Nov 15, 2011 around 03:50

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


DrBouvenstein posted:

I hate to ask this, and I swear I'm only doing it because I have to show these commercials to coworkers who don't believe they exist, but can someone please link to those terrible "pet poo poo" commercials that had women in dog and cat makeup and making GBS threads diarrhea on the carpet?

Dear god, I'd forgotten all about those commercials. The product is called SCOE10X, and I don't know what the gently caress.

The dog poo poo one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE6JkSgeiSw

The cat piss one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPefoXW0T4Q

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


I think the worst ad campaign on TV right now is Jennifer Lopez for Fiat 500. If the ad agency that created them is trying to get me to relate to Jennifer Lopez driving around New York City in a Fiat 500, they are failing miserably. I don't give a poo poo about Jennifer Lopez. I don't give a poo poo about the new Fiat 500. I've never been to or lived in NYC at any time in my life (although I'm not badmouthing it here), so I couldn't care less about the commercial, and yet, every commercial seems to go like this:

"These are my streets of New York. These are my people of New York. You see that establishing shot of the Chrysler Building and the Empire State Building? That's New York. The streets of New York are where I'm from, and New York is the place where I roam the streets. New York is my home, and my home is New York. New York New York New York New York New York New York New York New York New York New York New York New York New York, oh, and by the way, I'm Jennifer Lopez driving the streets of New York where I grew up, and this is a Fiat 500 driving around New York on the streets of New York. And just in case I didn't mention it, New York, because I am from New York."

Terrible.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


NaturalLow posted:

I always thought it was mostly people from the city of New York that seem to have this urge to remind everyone that they're from there. At least the people I've known from other parts of New York state don't seem to have any more pride about their home state than anyone else.

Everyone thus far in this thread has been talking about the city of New York. Anytime I've met someone from NYC, they just say "I'm from New Yawk," so it's pretty simple just to omit the city part, and everyone will still know what that person's talking about; thus, "New York" meaning "New York City." You never hear anyone saying they're straight off the streets of Schenectady, now, do you?

But that news is amazing. I'm actually surprised that commercial wasn't filmed in Vancouver, B.C., Canada since it's pretty much the stand-in for every major metropolitan city of the U.S., but I'm sure it was too much of a hassle for J Lo to go there Here's to hoping I won't have to see her self-congratulate and pat herself on the back anymore for having grown up in a major city like billions of people on this Earth have anywhere.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


penis sandwich posted:

Those Best Buy "Game On" Santa ads are just terrible, especially because the moms in them are so loving smug.

Also, Santa's awesome. He brings gifts for free!

Maybe it's because I'm just getting old and aren't "with it" anymore, but I was just discussing with a friend a few days ago how comedy today can either only be awkward situations (with a quick zoom up to the awkward person's face so everyone can point and laugh at the stupid idiot awkward baby moron), or people being condescending arrogant smug prick assholes to one another for no apparent reason other than to one-up the other person being a bigger condescending arrogant smug prick rear end in a top hat in order to be "funny." These commercials are taking the latter to a whole other level. Holy poo poo.

I honestly don't know why I'm so mad at these two commercials; I mean, they're just commercials that will be gone by the New Year, but holy poo poo those are just mean-spirited for a time when people should be in good spirits. Also, seconding Santa bringing stuff for free

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Yeah, that, and I'm certain I also saw them a couple of times during Adult Swim.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


There was an eBay commercial awhile back that made fun of a lone guy at a meeting that still used a pencil and paper while everyone else was using the latest and most fashionable smartphones to take notes that couldn't have been more smug and condescending about so-called losers who don't keep up with the masses.

There's a new commercial like that that ups the ante with a guy who whips out some cash at a dinner get-together while everyone else uses their phones to transfer funds from their bank accounts to chip in. His wife, semi-embarrassed, pushes his archaic money in his hand down, looks at him and says, "Don't worry, honey; I'll teach you how to do it " as if he were a small, mentally-handicapped child.

Terrible. Can't a company nowadays just show new things straightforwardly without being douchebaggy cynical assholes about it?

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


I saw this commercial for Volkswagen with some teenager and his friend after a major wreck in what looked like a Passat. The one teen is all, "MY DAD IS GOING TO KILL ME. THIS IS HIS CAR. HE'S GOING TO KILL ME. I WRECKED HIS CAR. MY DAD IS GOING TO KILL ME." Then, a message pops up on screen that says, "He can only kill you if you're safe. Volkwagen." I know it's just a figure of speech when someone says "HE/SHE/THEY'RE GOING TO KILL ME," but really? All I can think of is his dad literally carrying out the act of filicide on his son.

"Oh, son, thank god you're safe! "

I also saw this ad for Dove for Men that referred to a man's skin as "manhide." I wanted to punch my TV.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Young Freud posted:

Was this on broadcast TV, cable, or the internet? I can see such a thing happening on the last one, but if it happened with the first two, this does not bode well.

The other day, I was watching Futurama on Comedy Central. Right in the middle of each act, a giant "TOSH 5.29" flashed across the entire screen, then gradually faded away. It tied in with a bunch of commercials for Tosh acting as a cult leader, so I guess the flash was mimicking subliminal advertising, but really? Is there a need for that? Those lovely commercials for a lovely show get run every commercial break, so is there a need to do something like interrupt airtime of other shows with "subliminal messages"?

I can see this eventually happening with the first two, like you said

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


MailboxFullOfBombs posted:

"Terrible. Terrible. Driver. Driver. Cut across. Cut across." STOP loving REPEATING EVERYTHING YOU SAY, SCORSESE.

Maybe he's just impersonating Jimmy Two Times from Goodfellas. "I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers."

How about that Old Navy commercial with the girl crying out to everyone at school "SHE'S NOT NEEWWW!" because some other girl happens to wear [GASP!] different clothing to school each day? There's also Jason Priestley in it for some reason. Terrible.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


HELLO! HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqOCNp6OUHU&hd=1

I don't know what it is about this stupid commercial about a high school football player video gone viral, but it fills me with a burning rage. It's not so much the player's stunt or himself saying HELLO!, but it's the stupid people featured throughout the commercial repeating the drat phrase in an unbelievable "OOOOOH OH gently caress ME WOAH " tone.

Also, a 4G network isn't what makes a viral video, AT&T; having it go loving viral on social media sites and message boards does.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


So sick of seeing and hearing the inescapable Windows 8 commercial with an uninspired remake of "Express Yourself" by Charles Wright. It's just some dude talking over the drum break to "Funky Drummer" by James Brown, and then you hear "EXPRESS YOURSELF!" and some horn stabs from the Charles Wright song, and that's about it. Talk about annoyingly unoriginal and lovely.

Oh yeah, there's some people doing Windows 8 stuff or something. I don't know. The song gets on my nerves more than the commercial.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Tardcore posted:

Do they really still do that? I don't even know why they'd bother with it in this day and age.

They most certainly do. My sister and I were looking for the Django Unchained soundtrack because I wanted the physical media instead of an iTunes download, and we'd already been to several other stores that surprisingly didn't carry it at all. At Walmart, there was one copy left, and I was loving excited and ran to the register to pay until I realized Walmart used to edit their CDs and looked at the cover of the CD just as I was about to pay. No "parental guidance, explicit lyrics" label, and the sticker said (EDITED). Talk about a worthless poo poo thing to almost mistakenly buy.

Needless to say, I went to my favorite local store that had it in all its explicit glory.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

The Geico ads I miss the most though are the ones where people tell their insurance stories with the help of famous people. The Burt Bacharach one in particular slayed me every time (even if he did look like Lurch from the Addams Family): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dq8sWx1rh0s

The best one of these features The Pips.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgzDWlmyyYA

Occasionally, I still find myself singing, "Take a train to happy town, WOO WOO!"

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


There's a commercial for either a cell phone or 4G coverage or whatever the gently caress it is having to do with cell phones... I think all commercials for phones and coverage are starting to blend together in a terrible way (phone commercials are insufferably bad to begin with). Anyway, this commercial features a girl from a newborn to her late teen years just vlogging in a sped up "life in a few seconds" manner; that's it. it's terrible because all I can think of is "go outside and play on the jungle gym or ride your bike or go exploring or some poo poo instead of vlogging " every time I see it. I mean, from a newborn this kid has had her entire life up to that point recorded as just her talking in front of a wall without much else, and that sucks. I can only imagine her childhood goes something like this:

"Mom, can I please go outside and play?"
"gently caress NO. You get your rear end up against that wall and start recording yourself! I want every precious moment of your life recorded through your words!"

Also, the idea that the same cell phone records approximately 18 years of life is preposterous because that cell phone's getting replaced in two years, if that. Take that, terrible phone commercial

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


AFewBricksShy posted:

There is no way that kid is 18 at the end of the commmercial, maybe 12. It's obviously the same kid, so unless they went nuts with CGI or something it's gotta be real. They obviously didn't use the phone though, as video phones are too new.

Edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtyqS68ViWk

Yup, she's 12. I'm usually poo poo at guessing kids ages too.

Ahh, did not know that there was an original time-lapse video of the girl that has nothing to do with phones. In the original context, it's pretty neat, but put it on a cell phone in a commercial and my point still stands. Also, 12, 18, why can't kids look like kids anymore? (I'm terrible at guessing ages, too, it seems).

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Shaman Ooglaboogla posted:

I maintain the worst commercials ever are the one's that heavily feature the sounds of ingestion or digestion. The worst ad ever was for Sunkist on the radio that features really enhanced sounds of someone slurping up Sunkist out of the can and gulping that poo poo noisily down their gullet. Finished off by a horrid "ahhh" noise that no one wants to hear. I almost decided to crash my car off the cliff in anger from this soda ad.

ElectricSheep posted:

Kit-Kat commercials are the absolute worst for this.

Ugh, both of these times one million. No one eats that loudly in real life unless you're a complete rear end in a top hat or a feral creature that was raised by wolves and don't know how to eat like a proper human.

Commercials seem to also do this: got a full cup of something you're drinking? I mean, we're talking the beverage and possibly ice is touching the lid of the cup, that's how full it is, right? If you're drinking said beverage through a straw and take your very first sip, the drink goes SHLHLSHLHLSHSLHLHRRRRRPPPPPSHSHSHSHPRPPPPP as if the straw is trying to get every last drop out of a completely empty cup (even though the cup is full). In commercial-land, every commercial has to inform you that someone is drinking something through a straw by going SHSHSHSHHHLLLLLRPRRRPPRPPPP for ten minutes because we're all too loving stupid to realize that someone is drinking something, so that sound effect is added to reassure us all that a big drink is happening.

Gee, thanks commercial. I would have never made the connection

Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:

I like how he starts to reach for it but instead chooses to let the situation spiral out of control. Some kids just want to watch the world burn.

I like how the girl just slowly goes like \/

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


BrownThunder posted:

Does anyone know what they are selling here? Other than the fact that the family is a complete set of assholes. They're about to have a feast of chinese food AND pizza, but all they can do is throw their hands up in disgust. Poor mom.



That is the same exact kitchen used in another gif that makes the rounds of a woman pouring soda into a glass.



I mean, what are they even selling here? All of the soda goes into the glass like it's supposed to. Was the actress supposed to spill the soda everywhere in true black-and-white-informercial-land fashion, but hosed up by actually pouring it into the glass? Or are these two gifs from a parody of infomercials? Seriously, I've never found a source for the latter.

EDIT:

muscles like this? posted:

Isn't that the same family that freaks out when the mom pours some pop into a glass?

Haha. I'm too slow.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


QuickbreathFinisher posted:

Someone here posted the explanation a while ago that the reason everyone jumps up is because their mother died five years ago. Ever since, that gif will never not make me lose my poo poo.

Haha, I really love this explanation and I will make it canon to that image from now on

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!



...This seems to be the same kitchen as the mother who pours cola into a glass and the family freaks out and who also puts a delivered pizza down in front of the family who promptly groans since they've already got takeout Chinese food to eat.

Is there one goddamned kitchen set for every infomerical ever made? Or are all of these parodies of infomercials since I've never seen them on TV and absolutely no one online knows the context to any of them?

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


el oso posted:

Hipster girl can't wait to see what her hipster friends are posting on Facebook because this museum is so UUGGGHHHH

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwPr1P5BL2Q

Pretty much all of the Facebook home commercials are insufferably bad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6NXihycaqs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22LY8KbfgME

They're all basically, "Hey, your first world life loving sucks and absolutely nothing is interesting or worthwhile to associate with or enjoy, so why don't you completely detach yourself from your physical surroundings and give a poo poo about what your virtual friends are doing right this loving second instead of, you know, living life to its fullest with the people you work with and the people who love and care about you."

God, what a horrible ad campaign.

You Are A Elf fucked around with this message at Apr 24, 2013 around 04:26

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


dijon du jour posted:

5-Hour Energy may not be the only people making a product you don't need and are probably better off without, but they are particularly bad at marketing it.
I'd like to take this opportunity to bring up this 5-Hour Energy commercial again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSHCbizqIo0

They actually thought this parade of obvious half-truths would fool people.

5-Hour Energy commercials also have a small disclaimer in a black box at the end of every commercial that says "These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease," including this one. I don't know about you, but if my primary care physician recommended me something that's not been evaluated by the FDA and is not intended to treat any illnesses I may be suffering from that may be the cause of my lack of energy, then I would go straight to the medical board and have the doctor's license revoked immediately.

"Doctor, I feel incredibly weak and cold and lethargic all the time. It hurts to do anything, and sometimes I even pass out because I am completely drained of energy."
"Here, take this 5-Hour Energy and you'll be all better!!"
"But doc, aren't you gonna check me for anything? Maybe I have cancer, have some sort of deficiency or a rare disease."
"Nope! Trust me, I'm a doctor. Drink this 5-Hour Energy."
*passes out and falls to floor; blood starts pouring out of eyes, nose and ears*
*to the unconscious patient's face* "5-Hour Energy, IT'S EXTREME!!!"

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Mister Kingdom posted:

Well, it's official. I'm sick of the Wendy's chick. She's starting to get a bit arrogant about it.

She was arrogant from the get go with the very first commercial of her condescending a woman looking at salads in a supermarket.

*to the salads the woman is looking at* "OH HI GUYS HOW'S EVERYONE DOING TODAY??? :iamafag:" *to the woman herself* "They've all been here since yesterday and I'm glad to see everyone is back "

Terrible.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


There's a Firestone commercial with two identical early '90s Dodge Caravans, one a sputtering jalopy and the other a clean original with Firestone tires. The jalopy is slowly parallel parking into the last parking spot on the street, and the clean Caravan just whips around the corner and does a 180 handbrake turn into the spot the jalopy was trying to get into.

Every time I see it, all I can think of is, "What a tremendous rear end in a top hat for taking that guy's spot! "

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Sagebrush posted:

I submit also Roy Clark's "I Never Picked Cotton", which contains the marketing-friendly line "and my daddy died young/working in a coal mine."

Also, "Working in the Coal Mine" by Lee Dorsey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnX7uRTaEWg

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!



Every time I see this kid pouring milk gif:



I always feel sorry for the kid because he's got such a determined, yet pained look of defeat and shame on his face. All he wants is a bowl of Froot Loops because he's hungry, and he can't have it

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Andorra posted:

Have there been any cases of smuggling using the UroClub? I could see that happening.

Pee smuggling? That's certainly one for the evening news.

"Coming up, a new craze that has random drug-tested employees and golden shower devotees scrambling to get their fix... and it involves golf? We'll talk to Bear Grylls about the fascination with the UroClub when we return."

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


GOO-HEH MOR-NEN. MY NEM ES BER-AD.

GOO-HEH MOR-NEN. MY NEM ES BER-AD.

GOO-HEH MOR-NEN. MY NEM ES BER-AD.



Go gently caress yourself, Rosetta Stone.

EDIT: Has this commercial aired anywhere else than Adult Swim? That seems to be the only time I see it.

You Are A Elf fucked around with this message at Aug 1, 2013 around 04:25

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Mister Kingdom posted:

Does Progressive have any other ad campaigns besides Flo and the box? At least Geico tries to branch out. Although, it's time to put the Gecko and the singing duo down for good.

Wasn't there some leather jacketed, mustachioed with Elvis sideburns 1970s man shilling Progressive alongside Flo at some point? Or was that some other insurance company?

There's also the rate suckers commercials, but I've only seen like two of those.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


I really hate the "World's Most Powerful Fan" commercials from DirecTV because they might just be the smuggest commercials currently running, and I mean smug to both the viewer watching the commercials and the people in the commercials. It all boils down to " you're a goddamned waste of space puny moron for watching cable sports channels "

There is also unnecessary destruction in each commercial that seems really stupid to me. Incredibly petty, I know, but the fan walks around destroying things like sliding glass doors and walls and crashes into an innocent van driver and thinks nothing of it because, hey, world's most powerful fan can do whatever he wants because he's the world's most powerful fan

"I can't, I'm going antiquing with the wife."
"You're not going antiquing with the wife."

gently caress off and die, you giant condescending rear end in a top hat.

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You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


raditts posted:

If you're capable of hating the Mutumbo ad then I don't want to know you.

Just for those who may have not seen it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_0fyUYB3cA&hd=1

The best Geico commercial ever. I love his mischievous laugh after every block

However, that goddamn condescending pig can die. Let's take a one-shot commercial character and expand his character to talk down to everyone while going "I uh, you know, uh, yeah, uh, it's, uh " gently caress YOU, PIG.

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