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Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


10 seconds after I typed pomplamoose into youtube's search box I realized there's more musical talent contained in 3 seconds of Old Navy vay-cay-shway than the combined lifetime work of these jagoffs. Also hot shapely chicks, 3 of them, instead of one who resembles mccauley caulkin.

edit: here's a starburst one that's been making sure my hatred meter's been pegged for a couple weeks:
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheStar...f/0/BtVkI8ddLCg

The very first time I saw that sprint or at&t commercial with the guys on the ski lift, I knew right then the ad guys were thinking "hey that zack gallawhatever fellow's pretty funny, lets get us a fat guy with a beard"

Starbust had the same idea and wrote dumb forced kevin smith-esque dialogue for it but I think they ordered the talent agency's lower-rate just-as-horrible Brian Posehn impressionist instead.

Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Jun 9, 2011 around 17:38

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Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


There's one where they actually say "Jos" a. bank out loud.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Jedi posted:

You're forgetting the golden rule of advertising: There's got to be a better way

<Cut to black and white> Fat guy with a bad combover and engineer shirt slices his fingers all up bleeding all over a hot dog, kids crying.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Highlander kid, the one he grew up into, pudding face and his friend, fat MW guy and a bunch of others all are making me think that one long ongoing failure in marketing/advertising might have led to their existence.

And that failure being that, the fucksticks that do marketing for supercuts and wahl clippers didn't try hard enough and led us to this. gently caress you guys. Give us a commercial that works, highlander kid would be perfect for the part. Marine corps dad with his knee in highlander kid's back holding him to the ground while he wahl-buzzes that poo poo off his head.

Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Jun 27, 2011 around 18:54

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


It was a samsung infuse that was the spider phone:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcr2uWkJkzI


I remember it cause I read about this one and a 4.5" non-pentile amoled display sounded cool enough that I had to go into an ATT store to see one. It was awesome. The samsung touchwiz software and weird filesystem running underneath was not.


Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Jul 5, 2011 around 14:51

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


The voice doesn't quite fit with that being a "tan".

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


As a new/evangelistic HTC/android fanboy I feel bad and awkward enough seeing the actual lame HTC commercials, now Oscar Meyer had to go and feature HTC phones in this steaming pile of stupid-dad middle-aged suck:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4XtOgsZdvQ

I like to pretend these cretins are using HTC Windows phone 7 phones just for a little bit of denial.

He also should've fired back a pic of his schlong when she sent the lawnmower one.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


SpacePig posted:

but if there's one thing people hate more than nearly anything, it's kids trying to teach them things.

Or anyone doing the hellOOOO! thing. 10x worse when it's a little punk rear end like that.

How environmentally responsible is it for a <10 year kid to have a laptop, a tablet and a smartphone? You'd have to assume all the others family members have these things too.




VVV Mila Kunis might actually attract male viewers to this one (in hopes of a topless scene) VVV

Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Jul 21, 2011 around 14:06

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


It's more like saying you should watch winos play ball with a tree branch and a hippy's stolen hacky sack because the town's little league team is up to 1 and 10 this year.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Gonadial anomalies/failures and adoption lawyers.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


gameface posted:

The company in question for that ad is AT&T. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwtz2Au6BGQ

I didn't read the whole description of that before I started playing it and I got a strong living-at-home manchild/poopsocker and his mom vibe from it at 1st.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


That70sHeidi posted:

I think it ranks up there with those horrible yogurt ads


If it ranks up with those, then it also ranks up with (chew chew) "no dear, I haven't seen your lean pockets" (chew chew)

Play those on repeat enough you can get someone to kill themselves. (translate them to Arabic, call CIA enahanced interrogations unit, profit.)

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


I think they're talking about an extra roll sitting out. Covers are an old lady thing I think, both of my grandmas growing up had crocheted extra roll covers.

Not that any of that makes it any better when you just saw some fat poopsocker stuffing his foodhole with a hot pocket and imitating movie-speech telling the old guy who could probably kick his rear end to "Respect. The roll.".

edit: And the lady is somehow an unfunnier low-rent version of that sitcom from a long time ago lady I couldn't stand. This, at&t unlimited minutes and yoplait have been some of the more horrible ones posted recently.

Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Aug 10, 2011 around 20:14

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


raditts posted:

"double pits to chesty"

HE KILLED IT!

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


She's cuter and doesn't have that elf face thing going on like the real tmobile girl.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Please don't buy any of our new $40,000 4wd bluetooth airconditioned 6 speaker navigation heated seats trucks go ahead and spend "more than its worth" on some rusted fading paint slow as gently caress base model poo poo from the smog era that gets 6 mpg and probably has a loving 3 on the tree or a powerglide to go with the ripped vinyl benchseat. gently caress you.

Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Aug 30, 2011 around 14:08

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Peanut President posted:

Why are they getting out at a drive in?

They're in a tiny little almost-car, you wouldn't want to sit in there any longer than you had to right?

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


I've never cared for the geico guy in the suit "can switching to geico really.." (or any geico ad) but I did crack a bit of a smile at the new "do people use smartphones to do dumb things?" Hits home pretty good with me because of some people I know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oe-Y-zSd5gs

I quickly lost any bit of respect I gained for geico from this ad when I looked it up on youtube and saw indicators that you can get an official geico brostache app.

Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Sep 1, 2011 around 16:43

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


I've seen goons sometimes getting to be way smug over the name of that song* since I joined in 02, here's to hoping you're right.

*Also "omg they played fortunate son in that vietnam movie, don't they know?"

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


She does commercials for Kohl's now too. Kohl's is a little rich for my blood but isn't it just a small step above Ross/Gordman's and about equal to JC Penney? Or am I completely off?

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Rhyno posted:

Sure they are. And Taco Bell's beef doesn't have glass in it.

Mcdonald's nuggets are pretty clearly real white meat unless they are able to fake it somehow. They did just switch to using white meat from gray processed msm meat a few-5 years ago though. They were disgusting before and I never would touch them.


edit for content: "fiber one? this taste's like jack's cereal"
"oh no I forgot jack's cereal"
"hay jack, try this number one cereal"

Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Sep 19, 2011 around 14:57

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Thenipwax posted:

Of course they fake it. If you open a nugget, you can clearly tell the texture is that of a processed paste formed into a nugget shape. I'm sure they just bleach the meat or some poo poo to make it white. I'm not saying nuggets are the worst thing ever, but there is clearly a huge jump in quality when you go to the popcorn chicken.

Maybe it's just a regional thing? I dunno, for me they have white meat that pulls apart in strings/fibers just like any real chicken, not the gross poo poo they used to be made of.



SlothfulCobra posted:

Turns out that wasn't always the way they were marketed.

This is one reason why I'm afraid to venture out of the suburbs, the possibility that I'll see a group of neighborhood toughs sitting on the dingy steps of an apartment building breaking into song. We have no apartments and we have lots of police.

Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Sep 19, 2011 around 19:13

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


ElwoodCuse posted:

And it's still dangerous and toxic?

Dangerous and toxic on the other side of the earth.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Meltathon posted:

Yeah, someone has to explain this to me. The Smartcar weighs 235 lbs. and gets 41 mpg highway. A Honda Civic weighs over 10 times as much and gets 39 mpg highway. Whoever designed the Smartcar really hosed that up. I also can't imagine driving the Smartcar on a windy highway, I get blown around a little bit in my Civic as it is.

I thought maybe 235 pounds was a typo on your part but a civic weighing 10x that amount doesn't jive with that. The smallest 5hp kiddy go-kart you can find will be more than 235. wikipedia says 1600 lbs for a smart car.

Weight is a big factor in city mpg but not so much in hwy mpg where wind resistance is I think is the biggest.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Isn't there some candy in the UK or something that has the exact some tagline "NOT FOR WOMEN!"

Haven't seen the commercial but maybe the marketing guys thought process is something like "Men are stupid and will buy anything that is portrayed as manly, women are stupid and will buy anything that is diet, they don't even need an ad."

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


WeaponGradeSadness posted:

I just can't be mad at a commercial where a dude punches a snake so hard it explodes.


"Catchphraaaaase" was pretty cool too.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:

"Cox insider"


That's awesome, but this is like that moment everyone has when they realize they're getting old, yeah it just happened to me when I thought back to how many hundreds of times I've probably heard that on TV and it didn't make me laugh until just now when I saw you point it out on the internet.

I'm not quick enough to have got it the hundreds of times I heard it but at least I laughed when it was laid out for me, that counts for something right? I don't need to buy a hover-round just yet. (but I may call for info and get a free lighted magnifier)

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


ATT unlimited was wrote by funnybot. Mathematical equation for comedy used to be setup, punchline. Today's comedy is setup, punchline then AWKwarrrd.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Electric Bugaloo posted:

It really bothers me when they have an over-done "French person talking" schtick with Tressemmé ads because it isn't French and "Tressemé" is not a word that makes any loving sense in French. If you've ever taken French courses in school, chances are you've had at least one teacher or professor make Tressemé the butt of jokes on how to look like a "stupid American."

Do Pantene, Selsun, Motorola, Skoal, Cadillac and on and on make any sense in English?

I'm pretty well against making things seem or sound European but at least they made up a word and didn't just borrow a French word that means armchair or something, or use some random French surname that no one in the company has.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


I'll barely eat any pork outside of bacon and country sausage, won't eat pork ribs, chops, ham but somehow I will eat a mcrib. Even the mcrib knockoff the quiktrip gas stations here sell.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Electric Bugaloo posted:

Homer becomes addicted to the KrustyBurger "Ribwich" and joins a band of "ribheads"


There are prisons with better food than the McRib.

That episode had an incredible Requiem for a Dream reference in it with the fat from the sandwich hitting homer's bloodstream.


I don't know why I go to Mcdonalds. Their fries are the best, but I'm a meat-eater and would never go somewhere just for fries. Every time I take that 1st bite of a Mcds burger (or mcrib) I think "oh yeah this is what it tastes like, and what it's tasted like every single time I've been here, why the gently caress did I get a craving to come here?" It doesn't taste like normal meat but somehow I'm drawn to it and thinking about it until I get that 1st disappointing bite.

They're putting something in it I swear, the corporations and their chemicals man. I mean wendy's and BK aren't great but their burgers DO taste like actual beef, they're just as close to work as Mcds if I'm wanting something fast, why do I even consider Mcd's an option? (a: addictive chemicals. put there by corporations.)

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


If you're in an area lucky enough to have Quik Trip gas stations, you're also unlucky enough to have seen this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPdpoydVaQQ

Gotta get the kids to the uh uh soccah field.

Ironic white rap needed to die off about 5 seconds after the first showing of office space let out and the 1st shithead viewer imitated Michael Bolton.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Ebay girl is pretty horrible, still, I haven't seen anything this year for back to school or Christmas that comes close to "are you rockstaring* me?".

Come on marketing guys.


*: it's that look you get, when you dress like a rockstar.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Luigi Thirty posted:

They're not really that bad of gibberish.

Pantene is named after the original primary ingredient, panthenol.

Selsun comes from one of its ingredients, selenium sulfide.

Skoal is a toast exclamation in some Nordic languages.

Motorola is Motor + Victrola because they were making car radios in the '30s.

Cadillac is the name of the French settler who founded the first settlement near Detroit in the 1700s.


Holy poo poo, got schooled. Can I offer you a structured settlement or some good mood food? I actually sat there and thought about those for a bit too. I was sure they were all made up, I had Chevrolet in there too before I edited it out remembering it was a founders name.

Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Nov 16, 2011 around 15:30

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:

I'm old enough to remember VW's "Fahrvergnügen," which a lot of people thought was phony European bullshit but isn't.

Everyone who was anyone at my HS had a Fükengrüven sticker on their car cause it was so lol it implies the f word but parents and administrators have like no clue!

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Professor Wayne posted:

I've never really minded hipsters. Fads just as stupid come and go all the time. But now I kind of hate them

Giving people who dress like Soviet thrift-store retards a label is just wrong. I learned this from the a/t hipster thread.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


ElectricSheep posted:

TV girl has a wider face, and a mole on right cheek.

Also lots younger and possibly not even black. Looks Latina to me in skin tone and her mouth, chin, cheeks.

Also, better stop the trash-talk of Aubrey Plaza ITT or I'm going to let slip the dogs of the P&R thread.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Speaking of life insurance, every time I see an ad on tv for "life insurance for those over 65", I have to wonder: What's the deal there? How do they make money? One would think statistically that's kind of a hosed business model unless they only pay out if you get hit by a train or something non-medical/old-age related.

edit: the wiki article talks about programs for seniors bsically pre-paying for funeral expenses under the guise of life insurance, is that all those ads are for?

Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Dec 28, 2011 around 17:59

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


I posted this last flu season to you all but it's that time again, if I have to suffer through this crap from the health dept every other commercial break over the coming months you all have to at least once.

http://www.hillcrest.com/watch-our-video

Also gazelle.com. No comment here, I'd get b&.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-fv...=1&feature=plcp

Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Dec 29, 2011 around 19:32

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Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Dodge truck ads have had the same really fat sounding but pretending to be manly guy doing the voiceovers for years now.

Edit this guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNmZ...be_gdata_player

Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Jan 3, 2012 around 23:49

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