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Parachute
May 18, 2003



There is some commercial on TV with one woman commenting on how another looks like she lost weight. Here is the exchange (roughly):

Woman 1: Yeah I started watching my diet, exercising more, and whole grain.
Woman 2: Whole Grain?
Woman 1: Whole. Grain.

END COMMERCIAL

I saw this again the other day, and they completely removed the snake oil from the ad! It reminds me of those Activia commercials which said that they promote "a healthy digestive system" then once more research was done, it turned out that those claims were not true. Now in these Activia commercials, they pretty much state that their product is a placebo ("I feel better"), and all of the yogurt in the world isn't going to help you poo poo out those McRibs any faster.

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Parachute
May 18, 2003



GutBomb posted:

Any Papa Gino's commercial with a doorbell in it. It sounds exactly like my doorbell and it sends my dog into loving hysterics every time it comes on. She's fine with most TV doorbells but that's the only one that sounds exactly like the one that means OMG INTRUDERS MUST BARK gently caress gently caress JESUS.

My dogs, who have never lived with a doorbell in their entire lives, bark at this commercial non-stop.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Last night while falling in and out of sleep on the couch, I dreamed that Shannon Doherty was advertising for Education Connection and actually stating she was going to get a degree online.

Oh wait, that wasn't a dream at all!

Parachute
May 18, 2003



I also like how the commercial doesn't mention anything other than the guy with the nasty aorta was 32 and a smoker. Statistically, if he's from the United States, then he's most likely overweight/obese, and we all know your weight has nothing to do with your heart functionality.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Maxwell Lord posted:

I don't even get how this is supposed to sell the car or what positive associations it's meant to be evoking.

The commercial should have starred a man wearing a black beanie the entire time, and at the end it turns out it's a ski mask and he's robbing the place.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Rirse posted:

Really tired of seeing any ad for the Oprah Network. I don't care about her or loving Rosie O'Donnell, so why do I get awful ads about their new shows when I'm not even watching that poo poo network?

O.W.N.

Oprah Winfrey Nation

Parachute
May 18, 2003



aquatic sideshow posted:

Hey "Pet Parents" (which is an extremely loving creepy phrase, I'm not sure why it bothers me so much) feeding your dog some sort of bullshit antioxidant all natural organic pet food:

Given the opportunity, your dog will eat not only its own poo poo, it will happily gobble down your poo poo, or the poo poo of anything else on the planet.

So we should deter from feeding pets food that is good for them and instead feed them whatever because they'll eat it? I'm not sure what I understand what your problem with the advertisement is.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



aquatic sideshow posted:

I think the whole "holistic/natural/organic" movement in and of itself is idiotic, and extending that to pets is almost insulting. I guess its no worse than the "Lexus for Christmas" commercials, but this is the "ads you hate" thread and not the "ads you dislike for rational reasons" thread.

It isn't the same at all. Dog food that is classified as "organic" is without a doubt, much better for your dog in general. This isn't to say "non organic" dog food isn't, but organic dog food will always have a better formula (meat as the primary/heaviest ingredient, grains, etc. - as opposed to many cheaper pet foods that will have corn or chicken by-product aka bones and random organ meats as their primary makeup).

It isn't about spoiling your pet at all, so if that's the message you are receiving from the ad you are clearly just misinformed.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



On the opposite end of the spectrum, I saw a Woolite commercial on TV that looked like a horror movie and I thought it was great. I had no idea until just now it was directed by Rob Zombie!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnFIOj2dZRQ

Parachute
May 18, 2003



QuickbreathFinisher posted:

This commercial came on the night I had to put my dog down and I just about punched my TV in rage-pain. First time I think I've ever had a literally visceral reaction to a commercial. I thought I was going to have a panic attack. Those commercials are really, really loving awful entities.



Yeah I definitely have to change the channel every time the SPCA commercials come on, yet the commercials with starving kids in Africa don't really phase me as much.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Edit: fffff wrong thread.

Also, I dated a girl years ago who was so much like P&R Aubrey Plaza in so many ways it's kind of unreal looking back at it.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



SamBishop posted:

Just curious, but have you never owned a pet before -- specifically a dog or cat? They have no other way to emote other than their eyes, usually, and while I don't deny that the commercials are manipulative, the expression are, at some level, real.

Pretty much this, but I think those commercials work well because unless you'e insane (PETA), you know that domesticated animals can't just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and survive without humans.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



QuickbreathFinisher posted:

I want to crush the Truvia singer girl's quavery vocal cords.

I guess it's supposed to be endearing, but if I want to hear some sing-talking I'll just put on a Jesus Lizard record.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Red Warrior posted:

Grout Bully.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKsM3jgiRR4

First it uses one of the Windows notification message sounds so when it airs I think I've got mail or something.

Second it claims to kill the mold to make it white, but later in the commercial they have the different colours so obviously it's just painting over it.

Third the application brush is way way wider than any grout lines are going to be, so you waste a huge amount every time you apply it.

And the toothpaste-white grout looks like poo poo if, like in the commercial, the tile is beige.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



I love Dean Winters as "Mayhem" in the Allstate commercials, especially in the new one where he is a dog protecting the house.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dE1FwOw1zIc

Parachute
May 18, 2003



The Verizon ad with the mother and daughter trying to speak while crying is beyond awful, but it reminds me of the backwards-talking dwarf from Twin Peaks, so I guess it gets a pass by association.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



ONE YEAR LATER posted:

It's a radio ad but there's a Taco Bell one going around where they quote fake twitter people talking about their tacos and ugh. I seriously want to punch whoever thought it was a good idea and double punch whoever thought it would be quirky and totally hip to have one of the 'twitter people' claim the taco was like riding a unicorn or some other stupid currently cool way the kids talk these days poo poo.

I am angry about cheap tacos.

For some reason I'm reminded of the Wendy's radio commercial which has testimonials from "real" people like Reno Kenosi and Christian Corea. Those are the most made-up-sounding names I have ever heard.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



DrBouvenstein posted:

HP has a commercial for their laptop with "Beats audio" () with some God-awful music that's like a cheese-grater on my eardrums.

Seriously, it sounds like a bad Katy Perry song (redundant, I know) remixed as bad dubstep (also redundant.)

The cell phone version of this is beyond awful as well. Was a developer sitting around seriously thinking "you know that thing where people play music directly out of their cell phone speakers because they think people will want to listen to their music? Make it louder and also more clear" (said no one ever).

Parachute
May 18, 2003



The CitiCard commercial where the guy gets dumped is the loving pits. Yes boring guy, you are now next-level-generic boring white dude when you think participating in a cooking class, going to a museum, and seeing an Alicia Keys concert alone make you less boring. You will be alone forever, sorry.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Armyman25 posted:

Maybe he is doing things to make his life more fulfilling so he doesn't need someone else to complete him?

My point being that he was dumped for being boring, and continued to be that way despite the commercial suggesting otherwise, because said activities are pretty much the blandest things on the planet.

I can't be the only one thinking about the Office episode where Michael "smoked a clove cigarette at the Alicia Keys concert"!

Parachute
May 18, 2003



TontoCorazon posted:

Holy crap this! Nobody actually names their phones by the carriers. Like I'll never say I just got a T-Mobile smart phone, people are going to look at me like an idiot.

They do it so they can just switch out the last part of the commercial where they show a specific phone with whatever their newest phone is.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



raditts (I think it was you), it looks like they updated that "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" Hershey's kiss/Christmas tree commercial they have been playing for the past 30 years.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Gonz posted:

State Farm Insurance constantly lies in their ads. Their biggest lie? That quantum teleportation of a human being exists, and that such a feat can be triggered by singing a jingle anywhere on Earth.

LIES, STATE FARM! LIES!

Or the fact is there is a 100% chance you will have to call a customer service number because that's how every auto insurance company handles claims. Even if you call your personal agent or whatever the commercial is suggesting, they will make you go through the exact same process. Not to mention that they work regular 9-5 days, and are not always on call at the moment you get in to an accident. Also that commercial bugs me because what does a State Farm rep do in that situation other than confirming that yes, you are covered when you are hit by another vehicle.

Now that I think about it, other than the Allstate commercial where that actor with the long hair and beanie + beard gets in to an accident with the clean cut older guy, which auto insurance commercials actually show a person at fault instead of being a victim?


Edit: State Farm RE: LIES - They should just tell you that having the middleman insurance agent is one of the reasons your insurance is more expensive than most other companies who provide the same service.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



ElwoodCuse posted:

Dogs will eat antifreeze if you leave it out, that doesn't mean you should give it to them.

Unlike the hype over all natural and organic and free range or whatever in human food, meat by-products and corn are objectively bad for pets.

Pretty much this. If it gets people to pay more attention to what they are feeding their pets, then douche on you crazy commercials.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Cheapsteaks posted:

I think the commercials (and maybe even companies) are more concerned with taking your money by convincing you that those other foods are garbage than actually having healthy, natural products for your dogs.

Makes you wonder just what they truly mean when they say natural, but I imagine the best way to better learn about their products is through a factory tour if anything.

Doesn't that apply to every advertisement ever? In regards to Blue Buffalo commercials, they kind of put their money where their mouth is by showing you how to better understand what makes up your dog's kibble. Compare that to advertisements for products like Beneful, which touts having food that looks like vegetables (orange and green kibble bits, how clever) and it has a "taste your dog will love", instead of it actually being good for them.

I won't even get in to the whole "natural" segment of your post because I completely agree that the industry is barely regulated when it comes to animal food.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Kaizoku posted:

I've never heard singing that awful AFTER being auto-tuned... Everything about that restaurant looks awful--the logo, the food, the production values, the ambiance. I don't mind dank karaoke bars, but that place is far too well-lit for that. And they spent money on advertising these aspects as opposed to improving them?

That isn't even their website URL at the end of the commercial!

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Hey look, a series of commercials that feel more slimy than those BP Gulf tourism commercials. (The Sugarland "Stand Up" is the commercial I see the most, but this one is equally cringeworthy).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aX4Vk9jblM

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Meltathon posted:

I think you're missing the joke in that commercial, but I do question why they are pushing the move your TV anywhere aspect so much. I have no desire to move my TV anywhere, although it would be nice to not have to deal with cables all over the place, which they don't directly mention, but it's essentially still said. I do hate that it seems like I have to see this commercial on every commercial break, for every show I watch.

I think the issue is that it's hard to make the cable issue a selling point of the service, but it's in the back of everyone's mind when they see it, I'm sure.

It's kind of like the waterproof Samsung cell phone commercial where they don't show it falling in a toilet.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Who hates Jimmy Hart in his underwear jumping on a bed?!

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Don't ever watch USA or listen to NPR. The kitschy-ness of the program names is enough to cause an aneurysm.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



DJExile posted:

Who's that actor? I've seen him before but I can't place him.

EDIT: Holy hell is that Neal McDonough?

The one and only.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



I definitely remember driving down the drat Kansas turnpike on a road trip a while back and definitely giving in to the weird gas station/mcdonalds combo that would pop up every 15 miles or so because that is one boring rear end drive.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



PantsBandit posted:

I can't believe that anyone watches ads on youtube. Downloading adblocker takes like 5 seconds, why anyone wouldn't have it is beyond me.

They didn't know it existed?

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Not a Children posted:

The thing I hate most about this is the shot of the couple making out while shoulder pressing barbells. How did they even get in that position unless they lifted them separately, then walked toward each other while holding at least 50 lbs over their heads to kiss? That poo poo is dangerous.

Looks like they're doing snatches.

Why do they repeat ping fit pong fit?

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Timett posted:

Saw this last night while passing through Texas for work. Is everything in Texas like this?

Jim Adler - The Texas Hammer: http://youtu.be/15M9b6PAdro

Stop yelling!

We also get awesome commercials like this in Houston:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrEd3p_6XSs

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Maxwell Lord posted:

Sprint copying Adult Swim bumpers is so desperate.

Seriously, they even rip off the ambient music and randomly ad a screaming goat. Who are the ad wizards that came up with this one?!

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Caught this the other night and actually had to rewatch it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5adsd5BEho

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Aphrodite posted:

What's the product though? Something that has to support a mattress seems like it would be unwieldy itself.

Maybe it's those straps you can hook to the bottom of furniture to hold it steady/lift easier. If so, that commercial would involve the two guys going overboard along with the mattress.

Parachute
May 18, 2003



Yeah that lady's voice/acent reminds me of like a Swedish actress pretending they are from the southern US.

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Parachute
May 18, 2003



Jastiger posted:

No, I get WHY they charge a higher interest rate. I know that. I'm asking why would someone be charged a higher rate if they qualify for a lower one, especially if it is the difference between making a sale.

Because if it's like car dealerships, that extra interest % is just more money in their pockets. They count on most people not finding out what a lender outside of the sale would charge you in terms of interest, and will always try to put another point or two on top of what you qualify for if you finance through the dealership.

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