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Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYS5NtRXlZQ

I wanna sever that head to neck con-nec-shun whenever this garbage plays

E:

An ad for KaBoom/Oxyclean/other poo poo Billy used to pimp that isn't done by Anthony Sullivan can gently caress right off as well.

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Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Rhyno posted:

rear end in a top hat hipsters

Speaking of, that stupid rear end "If you don't have an iPhone" commercial is bad enough, but I swear every single Apple commercial uses the same lovely ~*totes obscure indie*~ band to make their background jingle. It has the exact same tempo, usually the same pitch, everything.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Rhyno posted:

So to go the opposite direction, the new Miracle Whip commercial is awesome

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epA8-Xw-aoE.

Finally, a Miracle Whip commercial that doesn't feature pretentious shitheads gassing on about how their ~*totes indie underground*~ sandwich spread makes for a wicked snack sesh you've never heard of or Token "Ironic" Neckbeard McGoon chomping a sandwich with his mouth wide the gently caress open.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



And you just know those "funny" clips are the only parts of the movie that might get a laugh out of you, maybe.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Alouicious posted:

So do diners just not exist in most parts of the United States, because I honestly have no idea why you would go to Denny's when actual diners are universally better.

I'm in southern Virginia and if I want a diner with food that won't loving kill me, I'm looking an hour or two in the car.

There's a decent burger spot, though. Only twenty miles.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



SpacePig posted:

Seriously, they drive me crazy. "9 dollars? I paid 60 for this new!" Well, yeah, and now it's used. You can either take the guaranteed money from GameStop, or take your chance and hope someone will buy it from you online or something.

How anyone doesn't know about Amazon's trade in offer is beyond me. But hey commercials

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



404GoonNotFound posted:

Or Glyde if you just plain want cash.

Now I'm the fool. Hang on a moment while I defenestrate my TV!

E:

Wow, $12.75 for the last Assassin's Creed? Amazon was gonna give me a quarter.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



JustLeo posted:

It's not enough to make me throw my television out the window, but the Kit Kat commercials annoy me immensely. The constant breaking and crunching...

gently caress a commercial that features a lot of chomping and lip smacking and talking with your mouth full. Miracle Whip had one a while back when they were doing some bullshit pretentious "Oh we're like...heh, totes underground much? Probs haven't heard of us " ad campaign and one of the commercials had an incredibly goony gently caress flapping his gums with a mouthful of sandwich and a shitload of Miracle Whip at the screen being super awkward because that's totally in guys right right heh you just don't... get sandwich condiments???

omphhurfchompshulrpf miracle whipfth won't turn it down, xxxxxxxtreme!

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Jubs posted:

I hate the "DVR is watching me" ads. Who has a bathroom that big?!?!

Maybe if that guy wasn't such a DICK maybe he'd get to see his girl naked. But nah just scrub your teeth with that dumbass look on your face, scrubola.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Hey Jimmy and Ronny. Could you do me a big favor and jump up your own asses and die?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mREXE2JxQo

That'd be fantastic.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



MailboxFullOfBombs posted:

"What's the best way to market our 3D TVs and the new Call of Duty game? I got it! Get some annoying fat guy with stupid hair to scream incoherently and giggle on a fake battlefield!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45LawQl8T-M

I hope whoever made this gets fired.

Seems like the standard demographic for a Call of Duty game honestly. Although the two folks on the couch should be some 20something throwing out "ironic" racist jokes, and the other should be a 12 year old kid screaming at the top of his lungs about something along the lines of "1v1 me right now back out 1v1 you friend of the family fag jew! SKYLER BACK OUT LET'S STOMP THIS enjoyable human being!"

The player base for CoD is atrocious. Even by Xbox Live standards.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



rotinaj posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RvyFFjP7RE

This ad for Farmersonly.com has been playing too much recently on all sorts of late-night TV. That one and the Cougar dating site. I hate them all so much.

I get ~*christian mingle dot com*~ here.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Hey.

Whoever decided it'd be OK to play those tortured animal commercials with Christmas music instead of the standard early warning...whoever the gently caress does the normal music at THREE IN THE loving AFTERNOON.

Be a dear, and jump up your own rear end and die.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



I like kit-kats. I hate everyone on their commercials. CHOMP CHOMP HOMPF CRUNCH.

God gently caress all of you, can you people not eat like functional humans

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



vyst posted:

education connection

oh god dammit now it's stuck

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Cup of Hemlock posted:

Y'all thought the Hopper ads were bad...check out A&E's latest show:
http://bcove.me/b08oo3u0

gently caress sake can someone burn Boston to the loving ground already

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Why is the Wendy's girl so smug now? Some dude is all savin' some dollars with his no frills burger and she's all "Me too! Wendy's. and the dude is all and she's all "GOIN' IN! "

Goin' in more like go gently caress yourself you third rate burger tart.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Cheapsteaks posted:

When I watched this commercial I had it muted and had some eery instrumental death metal playing over it. I thought it WAS part of the commercial until I looked down to see that I had Youtube muted.

This got me curious.

http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?vide...&authorName=FAV

It works so well.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



raditts posted:

And you just know when that series of ads is over, they're going to release some real life Stupid loving Unicorn Game because they're just that tone-deaf as to how nobody likes those god damned commercials.

"We need to take a quick sidebar..."

You need to take a quick bar to the side of your skull is what you need.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuTiP5cxnRU

God I want to hit that kid. With trees.

I want to hit him with an entire tree.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Obeast posted:

Those scenes are the best thing about infomercials.

Also, what kind of person cracks eggs with a fork.


Ham fisted psychos apparently, jesus christ look how hard they're smashing those things.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Obeast posted:

Good god, this... The Kraft one is especially bad for me since saying "fam" instead of "family" is a huge pet peeve of mine.

God yes. I'm so tired of shorthand poo poo.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



raditts posted:

It's not as dream crushing as whoever had to sing this poo poo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWVA7epfiRk

I hate every single commercial that uses background music like that. The same note, hammered on at the same tempo for the entire commercial, coupled with sorta whispered vocals, drives me up the loving wall.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Meltathon posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zr1s_B0zqX0

No Apple, how people interact with your product, is not what matters in life. This commercial really really irritates me. Just feel like Apple is pretty much telling everyone that your life would be poo poo without our products.

I like the dude around 28s next to the iPad guy. His face is mine, he is us.

Now stab that dipshit in the eye with some chopsticks.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003






Pizza and Chinese? What the gently caress mom

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



bobjr posted:

What I love about the second one is the rest of the family having fun but the kid on the right just has a stone cold poker face.

"How do I get out of this chickenshit commercial outfit "

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Sagebrush posted:

But did you see that it's made of Genuine Metal? Metal!!! That's way better than those other lanterns, which are made of...well, I don't know exactly, but it isn't Genuine Metal!

VINTAGE STYLE

ANTIQUE DOME

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Cathis posted:

The new fresh and easy commercials.. love? Hate? Moatly hate but the whole "f'n easy way" part took me a bit by surprise...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt81i01sIvM

Well this is loving terrible.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



B-b-b-but he's a "modern" 20something male, and he's a totes adorbskable free spirit with a quirky personality, red pants and a ukulele you guys!!



In related terrible news, I saw a commercial/preview for the ~*Honey Boo Boo Watch & Smell Television Event*~ today. I can't find it on youtube but it's... yeah.

Yeah.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



I'm not sure which is worse honestly: The fact white trash sells so well, or the fact that family is civilized compared to some of the folks in my town.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Speaking of commercials for TV stuff, gently caress every single thing about Dish's Hopper commercials.

DA HOPPAH

I'M WATCHIN' MAH SPORTS

DA HOPPAH

I'M ON DA CRAPPAH WIT MAH HOPPAH

gently caress you and gently caress Boston forever.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



FuzzySkinner posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vInkVFqP__c

"What's the most important thing to remember?"

"No face to face contact while we're on school property"

Is it bad I take issue with this? Maybe I come from a different perspective, but disowning your sibling is loving dumb.

Are cell phone/internet providers in some weird alternate universe where kids are anti-social assholes?

I'd want to duck my brother if he was a ginger with Bieber hair too

BaronVonVaderham posted:

Speaking as a former math teacher, it's no mystery that the kids who failed and hated math were the ones who only tried the most obvious, linear approach to "find the answer" (a phrase I banned from my classroom)

This is the only math teaching I ever received. Doing something unconventional that still yielded the correct result? Wrong! I don't care that you got the right answer, it's wrong!!



Because that's not how it is on the SOL testing!! This is how I was taught math, from first grade to my senior year. Hooray~~~

On topic, I hate commercials that feature a lot of chomping and crunching.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9o5mwFNPGw

Like you. gently caress you, nachos. I hate you so much.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Myst Hat posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Rub_G-HiYA

It's nice of Wendy's to give us these real-life situations we can all relate to.

Also I've been seeing a lot of commercials for some mechanics' school called "UTI". Good job naming your school after a horribly painful medical condition.

God the Wendy girl is terrible, loving third rate burger wench.

Tupping Liberty posted:

Target is using "Push It" for a back to school commercial too.

I was wondering how either Tool or Garbage could be used for back to school ads, so I hit up youtube.

I was happier before I did this.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNrUJj6ByvM

Who's a soon to be dead jackass with a terrible loving bird? The both of you.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Guessing it's some dumbass ~*totes trending on foodie twitter*~ bullshit.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



muscles like this? posted:

There's a Call of Duty: Ghosts commercial that has a little kid recounting his game and then there's a voice over stating that the game is rated Mature.

Those commercials are bullshit, there aren't any shrill nasal pitched thirteen year olds named spewing a bunch of racial slurs then SKYLAR BACK OUT LET'S PLAY SEARCH, nor are there any shrill nasal late 20s/early 30 goons being racist "ironically".

Also gently caress every commercial with a ukulele soundtrack.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Retail Slave posted:

Am I the only one picking up a creepy vibe from those two? Like their lifestyle would be more acceptable in southern states?

Nope.

Also I'm so glad the theme of commercials with a single repetitive note while someone makes gaspy mouth noises for background "music" is coming back.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Kaizoku posted:

If you don't like commercials like this, you're weird, and your opinions are weird.

Well it's got Will Ferrel in it so that's already a knock against it.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRibRj770J8

Someone honestly needs to die because of this commercial. Possibly several people.

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Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Totes, adorbs, amazeballs, just terrible things people say.

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