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piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Teeth whitening commercials are the scourge of the earth. Never before has there been a set of commercials that are so useless, manipulative and outright annoyingly dumb. They all have that same premise of attractive woman looking at their teeth and thinking oh ho hum my teeth just aren't white enough.

Yeah this would be fine if their teeth weren't already the whitest teeth I have ever seen, why does one woman think her teeth aren't white enough when compared to her wedding dress? YOU'RE COMPARING IT TO THE WHITEST THING KNOWN TO MANKIND, OF COURSE IT WON'T STACK UP. Or the woman on her date who thinks the guy won't like her because her teeth aren't white enough, here's a hint: he doesn't give a jack poo poo.

I wouldn't have such a problem if they had actors with non-white teeth or who didn't fret over such stupid poo poo but it's always presented in such a stupid way that it infuriates me.

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piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


ElwoodCuse posted:

HH Greg is opening some stores around here for the first time ever. They have this ad playing almost non-stop with a lovely cover of Help! and I think I hate this chain already even though their stores technically aren't even open yet.

Ugh now you've reminded me of that HH Gregg commercial they ran during christmas with a cover of deck the halls only replacing fa la la la la with hh greggg. How does one do this? Well it's exactly as awful as you think it would be http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJzt8L_i7_U

I'm from Canada too so I've never even heard of this place or know what channel I must have been watching to be exposed to this.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


The Moon Monster posted:

So I've started seeing this coke ad for what I assume is an ARG that asks "What is the coke secret recipe? WOULDN'T. YOU. LIKE. TO. KNOW." Actually no, I don't give a poo poo. What would I so if I did know? Make my own coke?

Commercial flavouring, sugar, water and food colouring is not a very good secret recipe.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


DrBouvenstein posted:

I can't view youtube at work, but is this the one where the "hip, fun loving" couple make fun of T-Mobile and AT&T merging?

Like the T-Mobile ads themselves, I'm torn between it being a bad ad, and the T-Mobile girl being hot as gently caress.

Now, obviously it's a different girl in the Virgin Mobile ad, but she is also hot as gently caress. (And I suspect is Rachel Bilson, but I can't confirm...)

I don't understand how two douches are supposed to make me switch to Virgin instead of the cute ditzy fake T-Mobile girl. Did they really think those two are likeable in any way?

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Who is that guy anyway, it really seems like I should know who he is but I don't.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Kruller posted:

I really loathe the paper towel commercials where a dad and a kid are horsing around in the kitchen, make a mess, the mom walks in, smiles, and then cleans it up for them. The worst one is the dad and kid flinging a bowl of salsa back and forth. If my mom walked in my dad and I doing that, she not only wouldn't smile, she'd probably break the towel dispenser off in my dad's rear end for teaching me that poo poo. And then she'd make HIM clean it up.

Yeah I'm not sure that's normal buddy.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Maxwell Lord posted:

It's been done in UK chocolates for a while. It can actually taste nice but you are getting less for your money.

Aero is the name of the air bubbles in chocolate bar in Canada and it's actually quite nice and quite different from eating normal chocolate bars.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Nerdfest X posted:

"I'm not going to be the person I'm expected to be anymore"

Oh, really, Mr. pretentious, self-centered douchebag supermodel, who will walk out of a press conference when I dont like the questions presented to me?

Go gently caress yourself.

I love the weird little douchey side swagger he has when he walks out, that is the worst thing I have ever seen in a commercial.

edit: also apparently it's the cut down version of a longer segment that I guess you can find online that probably explains why this guy doesn't want to be the person he's expected to be anymore!

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


DrBouvenstein posted:


Also Elizabeth Taylor is like 90 and near death, can we at least stop playing her White Diamonds commercial from the 80's?

Yeah not quite 'near death' anymore.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


A phone would really be the worst kind of camera to use when you're falling through the air and then deploy your parachute causing you to decelerate quite quickly, really any camera that had a strap or a grip or anything else that's easy to grasp would be a major step up from a thin smooth tablet that people tend to drop just walking around.

piratepilates fucked around with this message at May 21, 2012 around 06:20

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Maxwell Lord posted:

Subway just must have the worst ad firm. Their ads are so consistently annoying.

Do Americans get the same ones we do in Canada? With the little CG animal thing running around and everything in the commercial being either green or yellow? Or the ones with that 'FIVE.FIVE DOLLAR.FIVE DOLLAR FOOTLOOOOOOONG' song?

I loving hate you Subway, so so much.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Mokinokaro posted:

It's also been patched into the 4S anyways. The iPhone 5's only differences are 4G and LTE.

Much faster processor too, pretty much the fastest mobile SoC on the market right now (unless there's some weirdo sperg superpowered ARM chip that outperforms the latest iPad, which the iPhone 5 outperforms).

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


404GoonNotFound posted:

So the Surface ads are finally starting to hit the airwaves and I still don't get the concept.
I mean, it's a tablet with a keyboard. So... it's a netbook? Did Dennis Duffy get a job at Microsoft?

It's quite simple really: it's a tablet that runs Windows but has a removable keyboard, also it's not really Windows, it's Windows RT which only runs apps made for whatever the whole deal with Windows apps is now. They're also releasing Windows 8 tablets that will be the same as Windows RT except it's full Windows 8 that will run legacy apps (anything that's not specifically one of those Windows Store app things -- at this point the phrasing is getting difficult for me to remember because it's all a mess of reused branding -- i.e. everything on Windows right now).

So it's simple you see! It's the new Windows tablet that has a detachable keyboard and runs a version of Windows for tablets (which takes up 12 gigs out of the box apparently) that doesn't have a desktop (except for Office, which for some reason necessitates it's inclusion) and can't run non Windows Store apps, set to compete with the upcoming Windows 8 tablets that will actually run Windows 8 that looks the same as Windows RT but also runs Windows programs that aren't in the Windows Store.

It's a Windows tablet with a keyboard, a tablet that's like a lesser netbook/ultrabook that's set to compete against the upcoming Windows tabletized netbook/ultrabooks.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


If you want a movie to do well in the Chinese market (you very much do, there's a lot of people in China and they're quickly getting money to spend) then you generally have to make your movie not piss off the Chinese government or give them a reason to bury it in China, such as basing your movie off of a scenario where evil Chinese reds are invading the wholesome United States, or probably anything involving Tiananmen Square/Student Revolution.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Alright I've just had enough of that loving salsa commercial where they go apeshit over that guy from NEW YORK CITY?!??!??

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2dFWtciNtY

Yeah you know what else would be like having salsa made from a company in NEW YORK CITY?!?!? Having salsa from a company in the "southwest", salsa is a mexican and latin american series of sauces and the ones that anyone in america actually eats is one specific one that people have picked up on, salsa from NEW YORK CITY??!?! is just as authentic as salsa from San Antonio. Also why do I give a poo poo if the salsa is made in NEW YORK CITY?!??!? when it's the same ingredients made in the same way every other salsa in america is? The loving salsa in this commercial probably tastes the exact same as salsa made anywhere else in america that isn't made by central or latin americans.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Is that the first time you've seen those ads? Pace has been running their "....New York City!?" ad campaign for at least 30 years now.

Well I haven't been around for 30 years and have only had access to american tv for the last 10 or so years but I can say I've never watched one of their ads before in my life.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Ape Has Killed Ape posted:

The gazelle with night vision goggles one bothers the hell out of me. Good, you can see the lion. That doesn't really change the fact that HE'S STILL A LION YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE! RUN YOU DUMB ASSHOLES, RUN!

Lions rely on the element of surprise for hunting, they can't run for more than a short burst and are slower than gazelles. A gazelle with NVG would be able to see the lion coming way before it gets dangerous for it, it could just take off at any time and there's nothing the lion could really do about it.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


TontoCorazon posted:

Those new batch of iPhone commercials are pretty terribly. They are still advertising features that are already on phones. Also if you're dreaming of the Williams sister why would you be playing table tennis with them.

The point is that it's a weird dream, playing tennis is what you'd expect to be doing with them, it's a lot weirder if you're playing ping pong against both of them at the same time.

I once had a dream that there was an episode of Lost where they killed an other or something and ran some medical tests on him somehow and discovered that his skull was similar to neanderthals or something like that, when I woke up I was convinced this was a real episode from the show.

Dreams don't really make sense.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


ElwoodCuse posted:

Is it the same company whose tooth whitening ad once went "make your teeth blindingly white so when you see your ex, he'll be pissed he dumped you"?

Those are always the weirdest commercials because their "non-white" teeth are always way whiter than mine, they're usually way whiter than any teeth I've seen, it's like they already use some industrial strength product to get their teeth in to that state and even that's not enough so you have to go a step farther and make the teeth actively emit white light.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


DoggPickle posted:

I'm sure it's been said, but any Microsoft Surface ads with all the drat CLICKING and dancing (that's not even very good?) just people slamming their hands down in timed configurations. Ahhhh the clicking!!

On the other hand, there is something about the Gangham Pisatachios ad that I just can't turn away I think it's the lady nuts dancing old-school team mascot style with just their legs sticking out and no way to see where they are going... I might be missing an important part of my brain but it makes me giggle for no reason.

Just think of how much Microsoft must have spent making and running those commercials, and how little it makes you want to buy their lovely tablet that is apparently great because it has a snap in keyboard. Apple ads are either a few people just doing things or a product on a white background and they can't make enough product to sell.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Vicas posted:

Okay, how many commercials did Samsung make for that "pause when you look away" feature? I just saw the third one. I mean it's a cool feature but does it really warrant 3 separate commercials?

I prefer the Samsung commercial about the mom taking a picture of her son's convocation and then somehow digitally removing a person standing in front of him on the phone.

Because every other loving person's reaction for some reason is "IT CAN DO THAT?", no it can't loving do that, that wouldn't be possible except with some trickery by taking a video and doing some analysis that way, they don't even say the phone can do that in the commercial, they say something to the effect of "oh it's so advanced our phone!!!".

Shut up samsung no one likes you.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Shaman Ooglaboogla posted:

I'll bet a million bucks it just takes a window of time around when you clicked the button (it's always recording or something) and then interpolates what it would look like.

You know I just looked it up and the new Galaxy actually does have that feature, only you have to be in a specific mode while taking the picture which takes 5 consecutive pictures slowly and it looks for an area that changes greatly between the shots.

Only that's not that useful since you're just taking a bunch of pictures anyway, one of them would probably have the shot you'd want anyway without having to interpolate between images.

And it's also not really what the commercial depicts that well, since the lady would have to take a bunch of shots around the time when her son is being handed the diploma, one of which will probably be the shot you'd want anyway, and hope that that guy she wants to digitally erase didn't happen to jump in at the event you want (the guy actually being handed the diploma) or you wouldn't get the right shot anyway.

But because of that one commercial (which is actually faked, the picture you see her take is different from the one you see her manipulate which is a different pose than what you see, also you need to actually be in the "eraser" mode which actually takes 5 consecutive pictures (slowly), which she isn't) everyone thinks you can just take out objects from pictures like we're living in Blade Runner world, when it's just a camera that takes a bunch of pictures and might digitally interpolate some objects out, or not.

piratepilates fucked around with this message at Jun 9, 2013 around 05:55

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


I find it a bit strange that no one is paying any attention to the lady trying to eat dinner with a flashlight braced by her neck and shoulder.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


You know I never before noticed just how many cheetos that old guy in the recliner has, that's more than a bag of cheetos I'm sure and he was going to eat all of that in one god drat sitting, your clumsy self was doing you a favour by knocking that bowl over.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


RMZXAnarchy posted:

She was eating dinner? I thought she was like fixing a clock or something.

Now see I got a little worried when you said that because that would make a ton of sense but I went back and watched it again and there's a wine glass, a pitcher full of salad or something, and she seems to be using a knife and fork.

Also the dude next to her seems to be looking right at her and talking to her completely ignoring what the gently caress is going on.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.



Shut it down, SHUT IT DOWN

SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING, this isn't a world I want to live in.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Sagebrush posted:

I don't think that you're actually supposed to use that club to play the game. It's just a plastic storage reservoir that looks like a club. It probably wouldn't even work very well.

Then again what do I know about golf technology? Maybe the urine-filled club shaft is the hottest new thing. Adds yards to your drive!

Yeah the idea is to take out this lovely looking club that doesn't look like anything else in your bag, put it under your little bib thing, jiggle it around a little while covertly unscrewing the cap and inserting your penis, spend a minute or two (or more considering its marketed towards olds) just standing there pretending to line up your shot while an odd sound of liquid filling a container is present, then jiggle around a little more to get those extra drips of pee out and screwing the cap back on, after that all you have to do is put this club back in your bag, get out your other club and take the shot in half a second.

Easy! Why wouldn't that look normal?

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Owlofcreamcheese posted:

don't get a loan for a birthday party! that is the worst thing you could ever do!

The real sad thing is how many people out there that would instead think "oh yeah that's a great idea, I can throw a party this way!", it is too bizarre how many terrible financial ideas there are commercials advertising

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


...of SCIENCE! posted:

Schools can't waste valuable time teaching kids basic life skills and finance, it's more impprtant that they learn yet another loving way to solve for X.

Of all things to complain about American schools teaching you went with math?

edit: And come on, it's not like the people who take out bad loans to finance birthday parties are the ones who really paid attention in school and would take a personal finances course (actually offered at a lot of schools (maybe that's only Canada (I didn't take it because I'm solidly middle class))) to heart.

piratepilates fucked around with this message at Jul 19, 2013 around 07:55

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Capn Beeb posted:

I'd want to duck my brother if he was a ginger with Bieber hair too


This is the only math teaching I ever received. Doing something unconventional that still yielded the correct result? Wrong! I don't care that you got the right answer, it's wrong!!



Because that's not how it is on the SOL testing!! This is how I was taught math, from first grade to my senior year. Hooray~~~


The correct result is the correct method, getting the right answer incidentally or in the wrong way really teaches you nothing about what you were supposed to be learning in that class, you might as well have cheated to get the right end result in how much you learned from it.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


FuzzySkinner posted:

What is Bill Hader doing in a commercial for cellphones?

I really loved the guy on SNL.

It's sad to see there three brightest stars wind up in terrible places. Sudekis is doing terrible movies featuring Jennifer Anniston, Samberg is doing some really stupid cop drama/sandler movies, and Hader is now reduced to this. .

That's about on par for what SNL people do, they go and do big name comedy films but since the films are big name they have a lot of production and blah blah they turn out poo poo because it was a big movie with a now big star so whoever is financing it wants it to make more megabux and it ends up lovely.

I mean really think back about how many SNL stars go on to immediately make something pretty good that isn't a smaller production, a niche thing, or years after they left the show. You'll come up with some but then you're forgetting all the other stuff they've done that everyone's forgotten that was similar to whatever this pot dealer movie with Sudeikis is (is it actually bad? I do kinda like it looks good).

Also comedians aren't writers and have bad taste or something.

edit: Take Dan Aykroyd for example, you may think oh The Blues Brothers and Ghostbusters but then you're forgetting 1941, which came out right after he left SNL, or whatever Mr Mike's Mondo Video is, also right after SNL, you forget Neighbors (I'm presuming it's a lovely movie), and Doctor Detroit, or Spies Like Us, or Nothing But Trouble (a movie he wrote and directed keep in mind).

People from SNL have a lot of misses too you know.

Also SNL kinda sucks and always has

edit: Actually in other commercial news, Marineland has made a new commercial with their same ol lovely annoying song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AZVooO1FZM

If you don't know what Marineland is it's a lovely waterpark thing near Niagara Falls that is pretty infamous for having a commercial that ran for like 15 years (seriously it's been about that long) all over Canada and parts of the US with a really catchy but horrible song.

Here's the old one if you've never had the pleasure of being subjected to it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1XOzE15iPk

piratepilates fucked around with this message at Jul 26, 2013 around 23:50

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


raditts posted:

He still writes for South Park (whether that's a step up is arguable) and I think I saw him the other day on Craig Ferguson about a movie he's in / going to be in, so it's not like he's doing nothing but cell phone commercials. They're pretty funny commercials so I don't see what the big deal is.

I think that was The To-Do List, which he's in and his wife directed or something along those lines, which seems like a good movie but also on the smaller scale of things.

And I didn't say anything about those commercials because hell I'd do those commercials, some company decided to pay him megabucks to talk about how great the Galaxy or whatever is for 30 seconds, that's a good deal.

edit: you son of a bitch did you quote me and edit it out or am I going crazy

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


SubponticatePoster posted:

Or Doctor Detroit (ok, it is bad but still you have a guy with a fake metal hand swordfighting a fat madam named Mom, how can you not like it?)


Dr_Strangelove posted:

Amen, brother. And I will brook no slander of 1941.


Sash! posted:

You did not just say Spies Like Us was bad.

You see in 10 or 20 years there's going to be a whole bunch of people going "oh you did not just say Sudeikis Drug Dealing Family Movie was bad, ok maybe it was but that one part was really good!!" in the same way you people are.

Doesn't mean that movie is not going to probably be bad!!

piratepilates fucked around with this message at Jul 28, 2013 around 21:53

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Miss Kalle posted:

I was complaining to my boyfriend about that Wendy's ad, because I was irritated with redhead being all smug about not going to places that are generally superior to Wendy's food. In fact, I basically told him that for me, Wendy's is 'what I eat in the mall when absolutely nothing else looks appetizing' food, but since most malls usually have Auntie Anne's, they have no value in the end after all.

The UTI ads always boggled me, though. How do they not know what UTI stands for? (or, if they do, how do they go on not caring?)

Maybe it's like the Aids brand and the people in charge thought "No we got here first, this is our phrase, we're just going to keep using it and nothing will be weird about that"

Didn't work out too well for that Aids guy though.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Dr_Strangelove posted:

Please, it was AYDS. "Clearly, people will know the difference!"


I forgot, that really makes it worse.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


raditts posted:

...Why not? Is there something I'm missing here?

Having the person pay for your personal phone (that doubles as a work phone) be an employer can lead to trouble down the road, like if they fire you or you leave or they go bankrupt or any other thing they can do and then suddenly that thing with all your personal conversations and information on it and such is tied to something that doesn't want anything to do with you anymore.

Now most of the time there probably won't be any trouble with this, but there's always the possibility that it can screw you over, like if your company is paying for the Blackberry that you use as a personal phone and then decide they don't like you doing that anymore, well since they're paying the bill for it and have it integrated into their business systems they can read all your texts and address book or remotely deactivate or wipe your device, etc.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


muscles like this? posted:

One thing I really hate about all cell phone commercials is how they out and out state that if you don't have the latest model you're just a big loving loser. Like there's a Galaxy S 4 commercial where a guy mentions that his phone is 4 years old and the person he's talking to acts like he pulled out a rotary phone from his pocket.

To be fair though, 4 years is a pretty long time in smartphones, even in regular technology a lot can change since then.

The first iPhone came out less than twice as long as that person would have had that phone, and look at what that thing could do.

4 years in smartphone time is for iPhones a year past Apple stops supporting their phones with updates and stuff, and in the Android world that's anywhere from 1-4 years past when the manufacturer will stop supporting it.

A 4 year old phone would probably have a hard time trying to get any useful apps at all beyond calling or texting someone and using the phone as a camera.

Obviously the commercial is exaggerating the difference to sell phones but it's still truthful somewhere in there.

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


I really want to know how well this whole pistachios campaign is doing for them, I wonder if "throw a billion dollars at advertising a random product and people will buy it" works.

Coincidentally I quite like pistachios

I buy them from Costco for much less and the pistachios commercial people get no money

piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


ElectricSheep posted:

I don't necessarily know if it's an ad I hate, but watching an A-list star go from starring roles to Nyquil commercials in the span of a couple of years is worth a mention.

In Canada they run some with Jarome Iginla so it's probably more of a case of NyQuil just willing to shell out a big fat sack of cash than desperation.

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piratepilates
Mar 28, 2004

So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.


Rirse posted:

I really wish the Microsoft Surface ads would go away. They are all generally awful and misleading for a product that nobody wants.

But...it clicks! Do you not want a tablet with a snap in keyboard?! IT CLICKS!


Maxwell Lord posted:

Awful yes, but I'm curious to hear how they're misleading.

Probably talking about how they're all advertised as full Windows 8 when really they're cosmetically Windows 8 but won't run any apps that aren't compiled specifically for them , which includes 99% of the apps you would want Windows for.

But they also sell a full on Windows 8 tablet that actually runs full Windows, which they don't bother to really distinguish from their fake-Windows tablets.

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