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mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006




He's not very good at it, I hear

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syscall girl
Nov 6, 2009

I'm not in the business. I am the business.

Fun Shoe

mind the walrus posted:

He's not very good at it, I hear

He keeps trying but drat if a series of small strokes doesn't slow him down.

One sex scene with the kal easy and he's spent for the day

kcroy
May 30, 2002



Cant find who linked this story originally, but: http://www.ew.com/article/2015/08/1...of-game-thrones

He is clearly a big fan of the show, and I would have been far less generous than he is:

quote:

And despite the fact that George R. R. Martin has flamed the Lost finale, there is a schadenfreude aspect of me saying, “Well, I kind of hope Game of Thrones sucks at the end, too, so they’ll know it feels to have somebody say that to you.” But I don’t think the Lost finale sucks. And I want Game of Thrones to end awesome, because I’m a huge fan, and I have every reason to believe that it is going to end awesomely.

Don't worry man - having someone else finish your Opus because you were too lazy is a pretty nice helping of schadenfreude. Of course the fact that he would like GoT to end well means you can look into the mirror and just enjoy your own suffering as well.

Woodpile
Mar 30, 2013



I think it's funny he said he hopes GOT ends well and not ASOIAF. If pressed about his word choice, I'll bet Lindelof says, "gently caress the fat man."

Krinkle
Feb 9, 2003

Ah do believe Ah've got the vapors...
Ah mean the farts



Why did Doran Martell, who trusts nobody, send a goddamn Maester with his son to the free cities just because the guy can speak some languages. Why wouldn't he suspect them of having suspect allegiances and meddling? Marywn said the maesters killed the dragons so sending a maester to go get the mother of dragons seems like a bad idea though I suppose that's some high level illuminati knowledge Doran isn't privy to. He would know that Pycell got the king to open his gates to the hated lannisters, probably. That was common enough knowledge.

I mean we the readers know that individual maesters grow extremely attached to their host lord families. Cressen died trying to save stannis from the red woman, Llewyn's last words were about how to keep bran and rickon safe. People usually drop pretense when they are dying, in fiction at least. I don't get why an extremely suspicious guy like Doran would trust people whose goddamn job it is to spread gossip via the ravens.

Rannos22
Mar 30, 2011

Everything's the same as it always is.


Krinkle posted:

Why did Doran Martell, who trusts nobody, send a goddamn Maester with his son to the free cities just because the guy can speak some languages. Why wouldn't he suspect them of having suspect allegiances and meddling? Marywn said the maesters killed the dragons so sending a maester to go get the mother of dragons seems like a bad idea though I suppose that's some high level illuminati knowledge Doran isn't privy to. He would know that Pycell got the king to open his gates to the hated lannisters, probably. That was common enough knowledge.

I mean we the readers know that individual maesters grow extremely attached to their host lord families. Cressen died trying to save stannis from the red woman, Llewyn's last words were about how to keep bran and rickon safe. People usually drop pretense when they are dying, in fiction at least. I don't get why an extremely suspicious guy like Doran would trust people whose goddamn job it is to spread gossip via the ravens.

I dunno what your original point was but what I got out of your post was that maesters are basically stereotypical high school girls and ravens are texts.

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006



Fun Shoe

Krinkle posted:

Why did Doran Martell, who trusts nobody, send a goddamn Maester with his son to the free cities just because the guy can speak some languages. Why wouldn't he suspect them of having suspect allegiances and meddling? Marywn said the maesters killed the dragons so sending a maester to go get the mother of dragons seems like a bad idea though I suppose that's some high level illuminati knowledge Doran isn't privy to. He would know that Pycell got the king to open his gates to the hated lannisters, probably. That was common enough knowledge.

I mean we the readers know that individual maesters grow extremely attached to their host lord families. Cressen died trying to save stannis from the red woman, Llewyn's last words were about how to keep bran and rickon safe. People usually drop pretense when they are dying, in fiction at least. I don't get why an extremely suspicious guy like Doran would trust people whose goddamn job it is to spread gossip via the ravens.

I think it's like you say. Most maesters are quite loyal to the families they serve and the dragon plot is likely known only to a very few. It would make sense to send a maester on a long trip like that as they'd be able to attend to any sickness or wounds that Quentyn and co suffer.

The more pressing question to me is why Doran with all his intelligence and cunning would think that Quentyn would be able to convince Dany the marriage pact makes sense. We know from following him that Quentyn is plain in pretty much every way. Not the best person to send on a diplomatic mission.

Krinkle
Feb 9, 2003

Ah do believe Ah've got the vapors...
Ah mean the farts



Doran is so tight lipped about his plans his own daughter thought he wanted her to marry a series of skeletons but to go get danerys he sends his son with three guys and a goddamn maester who most definitely is going along to assassinate the dragons and her before they come westeros-side. At the very least he sent off a raven "hey dragons are in mereen gonna go try to poison them brb"

Krinkle
Feb 9, 2003

Ah do believe Ah've got the vapors...
Ah mean the farts



What was the deal with the mereeneese knot that gave GRRM so much heartburn? Like six people are all coming specifically to see dany so instead of resolving any of that he flies her outta there on a dragon?

When he resolved that situation did he not go back and fix Quaithe's prophecy #3 where all those people were gonna show up and cause a ruckus?

Also I just read past the part where Tyrion hears that the shrouded lord will grant a boon to anyone who makes him laugh and I remember someone saying that a death chapter of tyrion where he makes the shrouded lord laugh was cut to keep the main part of the story outta the realm of the spiritual. Is it possible to find that anywhere? Preston thinks the shrouded lord is gerion? and also the corsair king?

Krinkle fucked around with this message at Sep 12, 2015 around 23:45

Woodpile
Mar 30, 2013



Krinkle posted:

What was the deal with the mereeneese knot that gave GRRM so much heartburn?

GURM lore has it that the book writer was having a super difficult time getting all his characters in the right place at the right moment. It sorely vexed him and caused a big time delay in the release of ADWD. His effort spent on the little man in the boat (totally not a clitoris reference) went to print because GURM felt compelled to show something for all the effort he spent ineffectually flailing at the Shrouded Lord (another Not-a-Clit reference) as Tyrion, the joy button of the series, stroked and stroked up the River Rhoyne or something. And there were hard men.

Ague Proof
Jun 5, 2014



I think the difficulty was how to show Meereenese politics (Hizdahr, Harpy, Shavepate stuff) while Dany was out of town and Quentyn was dead. Making Barristan a POV character solved this.

kcroy
May 30, 2002



Krinkle posted:

I remember someone saying that a death chapter of tyrion
Someone said that Tyrion died? Or am I misunderstanding what you mean by death chapter?

Krinkle
Feb 9, 2003

Ah do believe Ah've got the vapors...
Ah mean the farts



In a deleted chapter Tyrion drowned, he had a talk with the shrouded lord in the afterlife, and made him laugh, and his wish was to come back to life. Instead of this in the published book he blacks out at the end of one chapter and is pulled out by griff the next, so he never 'died'. Somewhere in this thread were the details but gently caress if i'm ctrl+f'ing for shrouded on every page.

My question was why they kept the chekov's gun conversation about making the shrouded lord laugh gets you a wish if he cut that chapter. I literally didn't remember the shrouded lord at all, all I know about him is what nonsense preston jacobs has been saying that he's both gerrion and the corsair king and sending people dreams with the moon so for all I know it never comes up again and he only went on deleted info and his schizophrenia.

Or was his wish to not get greyscale? Because the shrouded lord chooses who gets greyscale or not? I can't even tell what is preston or what is this thread talking about preston anymore.

Krinkle fucked around with this message at Sep 13, 2015 around 02:09

counterfeitsaint
Feb 26, 2010

I'm a girl, and you're
gnomes, and it's like
what? Yikes.

The shrouded lord is Crastor's grandson.

Rannos22
Mar 30, 2011

Everything's the same as it always is.


Krinkle posted:

In a deleted chapter Tyrion drowned, he had a talk with the shrouded lord in the afterlife, and made him laugh, and his wish was to come back to life. Instead of this in the published book he blacks out at the end of one chapter and is pulled out by griff the next, so he never 'died'. Somewhere in this thread were the details but gently caress if i'm ctrl+f'ing for shrouded on every page.

My question was why they kept the chekov's gun conversation about making the shrouded lord laugh gets you a wish if he cut that chapter. I literally didn't remember the shrouded lord at all, all I know about him is what nonsense preston jacobs has been saying that he's both gerrion and the corsair king and sending people dreams with the moon so for all I know it never comes up again and he only went on deleted info and his schizophrenia.

Or was his wish to not get greyscale? Because the shrouded lord chooses who gets greyscale or not? I can't even tell what is preston or what is this thread talking about preston anymore.

I'm glad that got cut but the hundreds of pages of boat travel and "words are wind" were left in. Don't want to make people too interested in what they're reading, after all.

Fleetwood
Mar 26, 2010

arrippen andah tehrrun arrippen andah tehrrun



I remember a post in this thread (unsure of how far back) about the deleted chapter you're talking about. Tyrion fell into the river and met the Shrouded Lord. He was allowed the choice to die or to live with greyscale.

Krinkle
Feb 9, 2003

Ah do believe Ah've got the vapors...
Ah mean the farts



quote:

a full moon floated above the mast. it is following me downriver, watching me like some great eye.
haha drat alright preston jacobs you've convinced me. The moon is literally a spy satellite and not the only loving thing worth looking at, at night, in a world without neon lights and fireworks or any manor of glowing rectangle to crane your neck downward for.

I have to make fun of preston or he starts to make sense. These characters keep talking at the moon, having the moon talk to them, it's starting to become a thing.

e: haha I don't remember Tyrion going through the DTs before.

Evil Fluffy
Jul 13, 2009

Scholars are some of the most pompous and pedantic people I've ever had the joy of meeting.

Apparently my-character-is-totally-dead-no-really actor Kit Harrington was spotted during the filming of a battle scene for the next season (and part of it, not just there watching, it seems). Spoiled in the off chance this thread still gets people who aren't up to date on the show or the novelization.

I know I was definitely surprised to hear it and totally believed they were dead and gone because why wouldn't they be?
(e: it's probably true because having the show reveal something that big instead of the books seems like one of the few things that might make GRRM write so he isn't left in the shadow of HBO.)

Fleetwood posted:

I remember a post in this thread (unsure of how far back) about the deleted chapter you're talking about. Tyrion fell into the river and met the Shrouded Lord. He was allowed the choice to die or to live with greyscale.

Eh I can see why they'd cut it though and it'd be a dumb scene. Having him go under and get pulled up is better than giving him a Drowned Jesus return. Also there's no Red Priest(ess) on the boat.

Evil Fluffy fucked around with this message at Sep 13, 2015 around 05:30

The Ninth Layer
Jun 19, 2007



Please let us get White Walker Jon Snow.

Krinkle
Feb 9, 2003

Ah do believe Ah've got the vapors...
Ah mean the farts



Which books do you think the faceless man who killed pate wants to see? Blood and Fire (The Death of Dragons) has only one known copy, locked in a vault beneath the citadel. That sounds like a strong contender if tyrion is going to make a huge goddamn point of saying there's exactly one of them and you'd need to be a maester to get at it. If so that's like, real proactive of them. Some sailors say they've seen dragons, better go to the fort knox of libraries to learn more about dragons.

They never mentioned faceless men farther east than bravos. That's sorrowful man territory. I like to think they are rivals and get into all kinds of scraps and scrapes.

Ague Proof
Jun 5, 2014



Fleetwood posted:

I remember a post in this thread (unsure of how far back) about the deleted chapter you're talking about. Tyrion fell into the river and met the Shrouded Lord. He was allowed the choice to die or to live with greyscale.

This is speculation but presumably the Shrouded Lord spared Tyrion from contracting greyscale. Jon Conington doesn't get this divine protection.

It was probably cut because GRRM doesn't want real deities to appear in the series so you can't be sure whether they really exist.

Irish Joe
Jul 23, 2007

by Lowtax


Evil Fluffy posted:

Apparently my-character-is-totally-dead-no-really actor Kit Harrington was spotted during the filming of a battle scene for the next season (and part of it, not just there watching, it seems). Spoiled in the off chance this thread still gets people who aren't up to date on the show or the novelization.

Entertainment Weekly: In an interview immediately following Season 5, you said Jon Snow was actually dead.
D&D: Yes, but we didn't say he wouldn't come back to life. (Dan and Dave slowly take off their pants to reveal full erections. Dave starts stroking his.)
Dave: We fooled the world, unhn. (Dan starts fingering Dave's rear end in a top hat.)
Dan: We're the smartest showrunners take it, bitch in the world. (Dan and Dave lay down on the floor and start 69ing each other.)
Dan: Nobody expected this, uhnn FASTER!, twist. We even fooled the President of the United States. Almost there. Come on, faster. More tongue.
Dave: All those people, yeah YEAH, crying on youtube. We totally *glurgle* (Dave begins to choke on Dan's semen.)

End interview.

Knuc U Kinte
Aug 17, 2004



Irish Joe posted:

Entertainment Weekly: In an interview immediately following Season 5, you said Jon Snow was actually dead.
D&D: Yes, but we didn't say he wouldn't come back to life. (Dan and Dave slowly take off their pants to reveal full erections. Dave starts stroking his.)
Dave: We fooled the world, unhn. (Dan starts fingering Dave's rear end in a top hat.)
Dan: We're the smartest showrunners take it, bitch in the world. (Dan and Dave lay down on the floor and start 69ing each other.)
Dan: Nobody expected this, uhnn FASTER!, twist. We even fooled the President of the United States. Almost there. Come on, faster. More tongue.
Dave: All those people, yeah YEAH, crying on youtube. We totally *glurgle* (Dave begins to choke on Dan's semen.)

End interview.

This is one of the worst posts I've ever seen.

AppropriateUser
Feb 17, 2012


Knuc U Kinte posted:

This is one of the worst posts I've ever seen.

Irish_Joe.txt

computer parts
Nov 18, 2010

PLEASE CLAP

Krinkle posted:

What was the deal with the mereeneese knot that gave GRRM so much heartburn? Like six people are all coming specifically to see dany so instead of resolving any of that he flies her outta there on a dragon?

GRRM originally planned a 5 year timeskip, and most of the stories work out better with it (I think the only ones that don't are Cersei, Jaime, and I guess Tyrion and Brienne too?). Unfortunately a few didn't, and he couldn't reconcile them, so he scrapped the plan.

He then had to figure out how to get everyone to where he wanted without a hand wave of "oh it's 5 years later, there was plenty of time".

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006



Fun Shoe

computer parts posted:

GRRM originally planned a 5 year timeskip, and most of the stories work out better with it (I think the only ones that don't are Cersei, Jaime, and I guess Tyrion and Brienne too?). Unfortunately a few didn't, and he couldn't reconcile them, so he scrapped the plan.

He then had to figure out how to get everyone to where he wanted without a hand wave of "oh it's 5 years later, there was plenty of time".

I don't like the idea of a time skip at all, so I'm glad he scrapped that idea.

Although given we got Dany making GBS threads in a desert instead maybe I should change my opinion

The Little Kielbasa
Mar 29, 2001

He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.

Knuc U Kinte posted:

This is one of the worst posts I've ever seen.

Agreed. No way Dan or Dave could get erect without surprise sex being involved.

Mike N Eich
Jan 26, 2007

This might just be the year


computer parts posted:

GRRM originally planned a 5 year timeskip, and most of the stories work out better with it (I think the only ones that don't are Cersei, Jaime, and I guess Tyrion and Brienne too?). Unfortunately a few didn't, and he couldn't reconcile them, so he scrapped the plan.

He then had to figure out how to get everyone to where he wanted without a hand wave of "oh it's 5 years later, there was plenty of time".

the 5 year time skip makes Brienne's story even more funny when you realize in the original plan she had been looking for Sansa for 5 years and still wasn't on the right trail

Krinkle
Feb 9, 2003

Ah do believe Ah've got the vapors...
Ah mean the farts



The cub scouts made me do some dumb skit, where I pretend to look for a contact lens. Someone holds a flashlight, pointed down - they're a street light. People come by and help me look. The joke is I am fully aware I didn't drop the contact lens here, I made everyone help me look here, because this is where the light is. Brienne's dumb journey reminds me of that. I'm pretty sure the first thing she does is reason out that, well, either she sailed out of here, but then I can't track her, or she walked on the road and the other hundred sansa hunters who haven't seen poo poo are just bad at this... better ask a few more villages to be sure.

I sure do wish winds of winter would come out so we could find out why stoneheart doesn't matter and can be cut outta the show cleanly.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.


Krinkle posted:

The cub scouts made me do some dumb skit, where I pretend to look for a contact lens. Someone holds a flashlight, pointed down - they're a street light. People come by and help me look. The joke is I am fully aware I didn't drop the contact lens here, I made everyone help me look here, because this is where the light is. Brienne's dumb journey reminds me of that. I'm pretty sure the first thing she does is reason out that, well, either she sailed out of here, but then I can't track her, or she walked on the road and the other hundred sansa hunters who haven't seen poo poo are just bad at this... better ask a few more villages to be sure.

I sure do wish winds of winter would come out so we could find out why stoneheart doesn't matter and can be cut outta the show cleanly.

My guess is she's not gonna kill anyone of note and if she does Sansa will just do it in the show. Show Sansa is a weak enough character that making her a catch all for other characters seems like the best way to get more mediocre acting out of her.

TommyGun85
Jun 5, 2013


Irish Joe posted:

Entertainment Weekly: In an interview immediately following Season 5, you said Jon Snow was actually dead.
D&D: Yes, but we didn't say he wouldn't come back to life. (Dan and Dave slowly take off their pants to reveal full erections. Dave starts stroking his.)
Dave: We fooled the world, unhn. (Dan starts fingering Dave's rear end in a top hat.)
Dan: We're the smartest showrunners take it, bitch in the world. (Dan and Dave lay down on the floor and start 69ing each other.)
Dan: Nobody expected this, uhnn FASTER!, twist. We even fooled the President of the United States. Almost there. Come on, faster. More tongue.
Dave: All those people, yeah YEAH, crying on youtube. We totally *glurgle* (Dave begins to choke on Dan's semen.)

End interview.

could you be projecting your own fantasies even more?

geeves
Sep 16, 2004



Krinkle posted:

They never mentioned faceless men farther east than bravos. That's sorrowful man territory. I like to think they are rivals and get into all kinds of scraps and scrapes.

It's probably like West Side Story.

Krinkle
Feb 9, 2003

Ah do believe Ah've got the vapors...
Ah mean the farts



I want to do like a i feel pretty/i am no one song parody but so far all I have is at the end of the first line instead of "and bright" it would be "you lieeeee"

MyChemicalImbalance
Sep 15, 2007

Keep on smilin'





Just had a thought, what if Dany's eggs originally came from whatever happened at Summerhall?

Evil Fluffy
Jul 13, 2009

Scholars are some of the most pompous and pedantic people I've ever had the joy of meeting.

Solice Kirsk posted:

My guess is she's not gonna kill anyone of note and if she does Sansa will just do it in the show. Show Sansa is a weak enough character that making her a catch all for other characters seems like the best way to get more mediocre acting out of her.

Kinda wonder what terrible and/or boring poo poo was planned for her in TWOW that it made sense to just dump the Vale entirely and have her play not-Arya and Ramsay's surprise sex toy.

Mike N Eich
Jan 26, 2007

This might just be the year


Evil Fluffy posted:

Kinda wonder what terrible and/or boring poo poo was planned for her in TWOW that it made sense to just dump the Vale entirely and have her play not-Arya and Ramsay's surprise sex toy.

It'll be an entire novel worth of Littlefinger slowly gaining influence and taking complete control of the Vale. Which the show can just say "uh, whatever, He has complete control of the Vale."

Book 6 is just moving even more chess pieces in place for book 7, of course.

Krinkle
Feb 9, 2003

Ah do believe Ah've got the vapors...
Ah mean the farts



She would learn everything littlefinger has to teach her and then push him out the moon door after completely wrapping him around her little finger. She's the new littlefinger. Everyone in the story is "the new X". The new lyanna, the new eddard, the new robert. There's a huge theme of handing poo poo off and a continuation of personalities. There's a new reek too.

Sansa would have been the new littlefinger and the only way to become littlefinger is to outsmart him and kill him.

computer parts
Nov 18, 2010

PLEASE CLAP

Krinkle posted:

I sure do wish winds of winter would come out so we could find out why stoneheart doesn't matter and can be cut outta the show cleanly.

She's the Aerys to Brienne's Jaime. There's a pretty good chance she's going to try to reenact the hanging of Rickard Stark.

Or Brandon I guess. Whichever one was being hung.

Krinkle
Feb 9, 2003

Ah do believe Ah've got the vapors...
Ah mean the farts



poo poo! She's the new aerys. Goddamn! Everybody is the new somebody.

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counterfeitsaint
Feb 26, 2010

I'm a girl, and you're
gnomes, and it's like
what? Yikes.

How is she Aerys? That's the mad king right? How was he monstrously betrayed, and then turned into an undead vengeance seeking husk? I guess they're both fond of killing people, but if that's all you need, then like everyone is the new Aerys.

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