ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

And then there's this blog post, a fairly funny critique of George "Rape Rape" Martin's opus.

You know what, she's actually absolutely correct about all of her points that she brings up in that blog post. Not that it matters :geno:

# ¿ Feb 29, 2012 03:37

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 11:39

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

Urdnot Fire posted:

Exactly. It's pretty hard to ruin a woman rising from nothing to take revenge with her dragons, but Gurm somehow managed it.

I'm increasingly convinced it would have been better had GRRM gone with his original plan of just skipping ahead the story by several years and just consider all the stuff that had to happen for Dany to get to Westeros etc. to already have happened "in the past" for the next book, to have taken place in that span of time in between books 3 and 4.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2012 01:29

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

mind the walrus posted:

The problem is there really isn't a satisfactory way to get her from her position in ASoS to Westeros without oversimplifying things, and unfortunately for all of us GRRM decided to take the long way around and showcase all the messy politics that would quagmire a would-be conqueror with less experience than she knows.

Right, which is precisely the reason why he ought to have glossed over all of that. It's not like there aren't plenty of other elements to the ASoIaF universe that are only ever described in passing and, while they might appear to make sense at first glance, they would fall apart as soon as anybody tried to flesh them out in any detail.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2012 02:09

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

nuncle jimbo posted:

the gay dude gets killed by a vagina demon no less, I mean jesus

Hahaha holy poo poo I had never thought about it this way but drat, you're right :woop:

# ¿ Apr 1, 2012 17:44

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

smarion2 posted:

So is there anywhere to read the new chapters the fat fucker read a couple days ago? I want to see, uh, how bad they are...

Here you go: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3422738&userid=0&perpage=20&pagenumber=535#post402338686

# ¿ Apr 8, 2012 04:06

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

So apparently, according to this post in the SF&F thread, ADWD has been nominated for a Hugo. Now I know a nomination doesn't really count for much if anything but still ... Has the nominations process always been this lovely, or is this just par for the course? Should I even be surprised at this anymore?

_{Maybe they should have nominated the Pear-Shaped Man instead ...}

# ¿ Apr 8, 2012 15:08

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

thornghost posted:

Yeah I heard they didn't even use real gold in that scene. Cheapskates.

quote:

Actually, I really *did* feel that scene looked awfully fake. That's not what molten gold looks like at all. Also gold won't just melt that easily from putting it over an open flame, having a melting point somewhere slightly above 1000�C. For the record, this is what actual gold does look like when it melts. And I don't even think it would have made much of a dent into their budget to make that scene look a little more believable

# ¿ May 2, 2012 00:06

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

Ambiguatron posted:

The Lannistralian sigil is a cassowary rampant, ridden by a funnel web spider, also rampant, which is turn ridden by a mouse spider... also rampant, on a blood red field checked with those little jellyfish that literally make you think the world is ending.

Wait what ... they make you think the world is ending? I always thought they just caused you unbearable agonizing pain by injecting venom that directly stimulates the pain receptors in your body. And then afterwards kills you.
EDIT: Also they are called irukanji iirc. Just so we're sure we're talking about the same thing here.

PrBacterio fucked around with this message at 03:43 on Jun 16, 2012

# ¿ Jun 16, 2012 03:41

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

Omnicarus posted:

I always figured that the whole Valeryia thing was a nuclear war and the doom was radiation. All the swords from there are just CPM-S30V steel decorative swords that were bought by nerds and got left around. Dragons are mutated Chickens or something.

That's a nice sentiment and all, but I think I still prefer the interpretation that some goon elaborated in one of the earlier incarnations of this thread in a number of fanfictions where Valyria and all the stuff about the return of magic were really caused by a Chaos infestation on a feral world in the Warhammer 40K universe.

# ¿ Jul 2, 2012 01:10

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

Just kidding. ADWD was the last book of the series.

Eh, I think we're still going to get one part of Winds of Winter out of him before he croaks, whatever he's going to call it once he decides he needs to split it in three to fit all of the shitdicking that he wants to put in there.

# ¿ May 11, 2013 14:37

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

IRQ posted:

That can't be true, because we all know Gurm doesn't write.

Maybe he'll start again now. Maybe he only stopped because he had run out of us book-readers' tears, and now he has a fresh supply from show only-watchers.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2013 00:36

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

mind the walrus posted:

A few chapters that read like they were meant for ADWD but the editor finally stepped in and said "no, the book is long enough."

Ah, so there's going to be yet another book coming out in the series before WOW, in which he's gonna put all of those chapters he wrote for ADWD that didn't make it for release. As expected :colbert:

# ¿ Oct 28, 2013 00:56

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

Dutchfool posted:

He's only 65 right now. If he somehow still takes 1-2 years to finish WOW and then around 5-7 years for ADOS he'll be 74. I think he'll live, I'm more afraid of him losing interest in the series.

You're afraid of something that happened like a decade ago?

# ¿ Mar 12, 2014 21:48

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

freebooter posted:

I seriously have trouble discerning in this thread whether you're all being tongue-in-cheek jokey, if if a lot of you genuinely loving hate the author of books you ostensibly enjoy.

I don't get what you're having trouble with, have you never met any Star Wars fans?

# ¿ May 17, 2014 02:42

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

nooneofconsequence posted:

I don't know they kinda changed Littlefinger's motivation for killing Joffrey from "create chaos to rise" to "revenge for my one true love."

Right, like we're supposed to believe even a single word that was coming out of his mouth there.

# ¿ May 19, 2014 05:04

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

Aurain posted:

Is this pizza delivered in a trencher?

e:
Look at the length of this thing, and it doesn't even have ADWD on it.
http://iceandfire.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_Food_and_Beverages

Isn't a pizza pretty much a sort of "trencher" to begin with though? That the toppings are then served on. Come to think of it, that might actually even be how Pizza was originally invented.

# ¿ Jul 15, 2014 15:17

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

mind the walrus posted:

the important thing is to get a quality book out

"the important thing is to get a quality book out," said the absolute fucker who shat out the turd that is ADWD :ironicat:

# ¿ Aug 18, 2014 20:30

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

savinhill posted:

Writing is the Gurm-killer

Honestly I thought it was the other way around

# ¿ Aug 20, 2014 14:44

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Incidentally, if you ever want to piss off people on Imgur, just talk about how Emilia Clarke isn't particularly hot or a good actress. (You know, tell the truth.) Angry wannabe Ser Jorahs will pour out of the woodwork to passive-aggressively tell you how deeply wrong you about their perfect Valyrian waifu.

Well, she IS quite hot, though. It's just that doesn't make her a particularly good actress. Or even a passably decent one.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2014 16:33

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

Damo posted:

ASOIAF is done for me at this point. Show and books. Since the show is done with all the good material, and the books are never coming out (or will be awful if they do), it's time to just bury the whole thing, move on, and be done with it.

Oh I don't know, I still kinda enjoy watching the whole thing unfold in a watching a trainwreck kind of way. Though I agree that I definitely won't be reading the next book if he ever manages to put it out (unless there's an overwhelming consensus that it's absolutely amazing) after the steaming heap of poo poo that is ADWD, and I'll be taking more of a "wait and see" attitude with watching any further seasons of the show now that they've reached unquestionably bad book territory (i.e. AFFC and ADWD) in the storyline.

# ¿ Sep 9, 2014 18:26

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

this_is_hard posted:

truthfully im really hoping dany dies in the first chapter of wow of dysentery. the long troll

I would forgive GRRM for everything hes done before if he did this

# ¿ Sep 12, 2014 03:54

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

wukkar posted:

I could see the GRRM getting arrested for the pictures on his DOS machine and then the entire IP becoming too politically toxic for HBO to continue.

Wait, did I miss something? What pictures on his DOS machine? :catstare:

# ¿ Sep 12, 2014 16:13

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

Personally at this point, I'd rather pay off GRRM for NOT writing another book, after the humungous turd he shat out that was ADWD.

# ¿ Sep 29, 2014 17:10

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 11:39

PrBacterio: Jul 19, 2000

ActusRhesus posted:

other than the released chapters and a lot of "gently caress you it will be finished when it's finished"? No.

I've said this before, but I hope the absolute fucker never loving finishes it. After the steaming pile of poo poo that was the last book I'd rather the series remain unfinished than him producing more of that poo poo, it's obvious he's lost whatever touch he ever possessed that enabled him to write the first three entries in the first place. I like to think the chapters towards the end of ADWD where Dany is suffering from diarrhea were a subtle metaphor for the creative process he used in writing it.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2014 22:45

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin