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Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008




THIS THREAD CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR ALL BOOKS IN THE A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE SERIES

WILD CARDS Goons are writing parodies of George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series and E. L. Jame's Fifty Shades of Grey




Spoilers

A Dance with Dragons has been published. This is the latest, long-awaited book in the series that goons have been pining for since 2005. So, since none of us care for spoiler tags, it is best if you go to the spoiler-free thread until you've read it. If you haven't read it yet, chances are that discussion in this thread will literally and unironically ruin your life.

Do you want to continue making surprise sex and lemoncake jokes? Because you sure as hell can't in this thread!

This is no longer the bad thread, it's called "the bland thread". So don't go too far. This thread is intended to be an actual book discussion rather than a FYAD-lite dump-ground of useless posts. Here's why if you want to know. The rules still apply. Please use your shift key in order to make coherent post, no empty-quoting, and try to make at least one funny comment or useful statement in your post. Bonus points if you add images.



IRC Channel

You may by all means join the IRC channel #thebadthread on irc.synric.net, or click here for instant access, in order to continue the FYAD-lite stuff.



A Song of Ice and Fire





Thanks to Kylaer for posting this. This is for historical purposes.

  • The original GRRMASOIAF thread. 26 pages, spanning November 15th 2006 to February 13th 2007. Oh how the times have changed since then. There was no hatred, no rage against the GRRM - there was genuine book discussion, and everything was exciting and new. It was eventually closed by a moderator because the thread's creator had vanished, paving the way for...

  • The proto-Bad Thread, which sprawled over 240 pages and lasted from February 13th 2007 to March 25th 2009. These were the years in which the mood among the GRRMASOIAF fans began to sour, and The Bad Thread developed its own distinct culture, combining such elements as a hatred of the GRRM, a love of spoiling newbies, and general pessimism about everything. This thread saw the creation of much fanfiction, and, worse, GRRMfiction. On or about page 205, Bummey coined the phrase "Absolute fucker" in reference to the GRRM, which became a favored epithet. But all things come to an end, and this thread found its termination when a stupid newbie named Egon de Szombathely, who registered specifically to join the discussion, hit Post instead of Reply and spun off a new thread. This thread was prompted closed by Loosechanj, forcing us into our new home, which was...

  • The Bad Thread I, First of Its Name, King of the Spoilers, the Hatred, and the surprise sex Chat. Egon's OP originally read:

    quote:

    Warriors late 2010 early 2011

    A Dance with Dragons late 2110 early 2111?

    Although apt, it was replaced with a more extensive OP shortly thereafter. This thread was by far the most like unto the GRRM in size, bloating to 501 pages between March 24th 2009 and October 12th 2010. The rapechat was developed during its early days, as is entirely appropriate - on or about page 50 was where it really took off. Nothing could stop this behemoth - other than Viconia, who wanted her own version of The Bad Thread, and closed it, making way for...

  • The Bad Thread II, Bad Threadder. This was a seamless continuation of the first Bad Thread, although it did not live up to its parent in size. Between October 12th 2010 and April 20th 2011, it generated 250 pages. The HBO TV series was generating its own threads during the later phase of this, and foolish souls from The Bad Thread launched marauding raids on the hapless TVIV denizens, bringing down the Wrath of the Mods. Then some dumbass posted goatse and got the thread gassed, good job! It was quickly followed by...

  • III Bad Thread. This thread lasted a mere 44 pages between April 20th 2011 and May 1st 2011. During this thread, the official announcement of A DANCE WITH DRAGONS was publicized, leading to much incredulity and rage, with consequential shitposting. It burned brightly, but the incandescence of the thread attracted the gaze of Loosechanj, who decreed that the shitposting had to stop. The egomaniac who created the thread ( ) didn't like this and closed the thread instead, leaving the torch to be picked up by IRQ, in...

  • The Bad ThrIVad. More successful and less shitpost-y than its predecessor, it ran 122 pages from May 1st 2011 to July 2nd 2011. This thread saw the most unbelievable of developments: A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, after being delayed for years, actually got released early, due to a gently caress-up with the German Amazon.com. Oh, what days of glory, as the spoilers flew and the WILD CARDS were separated from the MILD CARDS. This thread was closed by a mod. Why?

  • The Bad Thread V lasted two pages then got closed.

And that brings us here to the bland thread.




You can also discuss the HBO series in this thread. Season 3 of the series premiered on March 31st, 2013. Episodes return next March, 2014.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzI9v_B4sxw&hd=1

Stay Safe fucked around with this message at Jul 9, 2014 around 20:55

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Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Parodies

These are goon-written parodies of A Song of Ice and Fire.

Video Game

A new Game of Thrones game has been released. Click here to visit the official Steam store page for Game of Thrones - Genesis.

Music


- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by IRQ


- by Tony Danza Claus, his own lyrics


- by Abnegatus, his own lyrics


- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by kcroy


- by mjs6643, his own lyrics


- by Kylaer, his own lyrics


- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by Contra Calculus


- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by...I forget who!


- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by Bhaal

Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5G6QyXl6d2M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lz3lAd2nGQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTTW8M_etko

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYhX75yB0fc

Images










































(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Stay Safe fucked around with this message at Jul 9, 2014 around 20:54

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Added IRC information and music from my cat is norris to the OP in order to preserve it forever and ever until eternity.

Thanks MCIN, and see you after you're done with Dragons!

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Rhymenoceros posted:

I'm sorry but I this has been on my mind for two days and I have no one to say it to.

Barristan the Bold more like Barristan the bOLD...

Yep.

Dany..more like FANY! Hah!

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Why is Bran so happy in the graphic novel scene? I imagined that scene as a spooky/somber scene because it was an omen with a dead Direwolf bitch. Not some kind of "puppies!" scene.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Argali posted:

He's lying.

This.

Except when is WorldCon?

Edit: Nevermind, I forgot to read.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Habibi posted:

Well what he says is, "1:00 pm A reading, from THE WINDS OF WINTER (AO1+6, RSCC)," which could just as easily mean that he's going to sit down and read one of the appendixes.

I can just imagine the transcript of the event!

GRRM enters.

GRRM sits down on a couple of lined of chairs.

GRRM rubs the crumbs out of his beard.

GRRM takes out a 300 pages from his briefcase binded loosely.

GRRM starts talking about the NFL for thirty minutes.

After a while, GRRM eventually finds his way back to the book and clears his throat.

*ahem*. "Sansa took a bite of the lemoncake".

GRRM struggles to get up, and waddles over to the table to do autographs.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


ImJasonH posted:

Or in the most childish giggly schoolboy voice.

I agree, this might be better. If he did it in a deadpan voice, he'd sound like...an actual author.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


http://louie.bigcartel.com/

This is an ad on SA banners here. This guy is selling ASOIAF art. Isn't that kind of illegal to some degree? Not that I really care that GRRM won't get all his money to travel the world and go to conventions while consuming half the state's food surplus while an artist can't make some of that money or anything.

Edit: The actual banner:

Stay Safe fucked around with this message at Aug 16, 2011 around 01:08

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


To be fair, I think it's fitting for the time period this is supposedly set in.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Maytag posted:

Well I've just seen Brienne of Tarth naked, with a blonde afro.

So the curtains match the drapes?

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


kcroy posted:



This is just fantastic. Find that at DeviantArt or something?

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Why is this thread photoshop-tagged now?

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


http://store.steampowered.com/app/58550/

New A Game of Thrones game called Genesis. It looks pretty old school RTS style thing. I should watch the videos though.

Stay Safe fucked around with this message at Sep 12, 2011 around 23:33

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Unkempt posted:

Not many photoshops in this photoshop thread.



I would put this in the OP, but it's too close to the spoiler warning. Thanks for making this though, I've been waiting since the Ned Stark one.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


A Secret of Targs

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Raserys posted:

The lone comment was probably the only thing worthwhile about that video.

Yeah, video seemed rather bland. Definitely no Empire: Total War.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


There's nothing sexual about butts.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Event idea:

As you may (not) know, NaNoWriMo is coming up. This is when people with no lives that spend all their times in books and not on da streetz write a novel in November.

What if we did a SA NaNoWriMo for ASoIaF using Neovella? Neovella is a site that published hundreds of goons for half-assed works of art. Basically, you join a project, and there's a few others working on the same project. You provide/contribute to a story, and when time runs out, the next person in the room contributes their part. When time runs out or they submit their part, it goes to the next person, and loops around until the story is done.

So basically, what we could do, is all pick a date to write a neovella of ASoIaF Wild Cards edition. On that date, we go to https://www.neovella.com join the ASoIaF room, and start writing the worst best edition of WILD CARDS ever.

If we get enough support (at least 5 people) let's do it. Otherwise, I'll consider it an unfavorable idea and cry myself to sleep.

savinhill posted:

So did anyone else ever picture Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force as Jorah Mormont before the TV show?

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


What the hell is Dark Hershey?

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


So we got two people (not including myself) that want to do the project. If we get five, what we need to do is decide the following:

Title
Chapters/perspectives
Date to start
If there is a chapter that is just "surprise sex" for every word

Also, you don't have to had read all books in the series, but it might help you the more you read.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Here is how Neovella works!

People sign into the website at https://www.neovella.com

They then click on the "A Song of Ice and Fire project"

What happens next is that join a "room". On the left side is the text of the project that we are working on, on the right side is names and a list of people and chat features.

When you join, you wait your turn to add in text. You have about 1-2 minutes to compose text. You can write just a word or a paragraph or whatever. If you run out of time, it goes to the next person in the list. They get 1-2 minutes to write, edit, or whatever. When their time runs out, it goes to the next, and you basically have to wait your turn again. It's more entertaining than it sounds; you are not really waiting for your turn again, because you are reading the text and being engaged with other people's contributions, and when it IS your turn again, you build off what they have submitted.

This goes on until we are done with a chapter, then we put the project on hold until another date we all agree on, then begin another chapter.

No one person can write a whole chapter exclusively using the Neovella site.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Actually, you can if you set it up to do so. Honestly, a 2 minute timeframe to write something in a loop with other people sounds like a really lovely way to spend some time.

In retrospect, my experience with it was a lot better, but that might be because of the copious amounts of booze I drank when I attended the composition of Never Trust an Eagle on a Pole

We might mix it up. If you want to write a chapter on your own, we can set it up that way I guess. But I want a few sessions where we each share lines at least, just to make it the most "wtf" chapters that GRRM can only dream of making.

I am making this an official event in the OP. What date should we start? 29th too cloes to Halloween? Sometime on the weekend?

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Let's aim for just one session, this Friday night (or did my cat is norris mean next Friday night?), for the Neovella event.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Crap, we scheduled that thing for tonight, but I totally forgot.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


To be fair, I am in Missouri ATM and I am pretty sure over 80% of the population here is drunk, but I've been preparing for school and such today, then just totally lost track of time.

Oh well. If there is still interest we can reschedule.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


After seeing daylight for the first time yesterday due to a corrupt save game file for Skyrim, I come here and notice that this has evolved into the Bad Thread faster than I expected!

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Patchface?

I wouldn't mind seeing a Patchface chapter where he meets Hodor.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


I wonder if they did that on purpose, like the dialect in King's Landing is different from the North.

Or maybe I am just trying to rationalize something that is their mistake.

Anywho, I just did a search on Wikipedia for "Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog", and Wikipedia suggest that I search for "Wanderer Above the Sea of Food" and the first thing to come to mind was "by George R. R. Martin, his first painting"

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


I pronounce it ɑriɑ (IPA)

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


I also pronounce "Ned" as "Fuckingbadass"

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


LooseChanj posted:

I don't see much in the way of book discussion, Just Sayin'

Or have we decided to make this a quote thread?

I have been curious for a while now, and please be honest: have you read the series? Or does ASoIaF not interest you at all?

Edit: Also I have been curious what other goons think:

When/if Dany ever does return to Westeros (everything is pointing there but who knows), how will she...enter it?

Will she somehow help R'hllor's Zombie Jon at the Wall repel a bunch of Other Zombies, or will she return through Dorne, like an inverse Aegon the Conqueror

Stay Safe fucked around with this message at Jan 19, 2012 around 02:47

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


What's the symbolism behind the Giant getting stabbed before Jon dies?

Did they lose or something when he wrote that?

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Xiahou Dun posted:

Hey, someone should probably put this here, I guess :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOzXsqoJhtE

Welp

Looks like HBO can produce the TV series faster than GRRM can the books.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


ruddiger posted:

Can we talk about that preview chapter of Winds of Winter that GRRM posted on his website in this thread? Or is that something that needs to be put in spoilers?

You can talk about any and all books in the series in this thread without using spoilers.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


JesustheDarkLord posted:

I do. A bloody, watery, poo poo.

Riding the yellow mare and/or looking at pics of gurmm I see.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


ruddiger posted:

If that's the case, then Theon totally sent the "Bastard" letter. He knows what the letter says, and he repeats a few of the lines in his head while talking about it with Stannis. I didn't think anyone else could've sent it besides Ramsay when I first read Dance, but after that preview chapter, I'm pretty sure it was Theon. Now, why did he send it? I have no loving clue. Maybe if they went at each other, he'd figure Jon would gently caress Ramsay's poo poo up.

I haven't read that chapter but I am having a hard time imgining Theon write in his condition.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Xiahou Dun posted:

She died, remember?

Please keep an open mind while in this thread.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


mind the walrus posted:

That's at least how *swoon* Daario *swoon* dyes his.

Daario dyes in WoW.

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Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008


Sophia posted:

By book 4 he's just farting around in the weeds...

Just want to point out that if anyone thinks this is a metaphor, well, let's just say it happens more often than you think.

Edit: Also looking forward to Brienne-centric episodes

Also, as far as portraying Dany, I don't think they would focus on that much after she claims Mereen as her throne. The chapters of Dany are about her fantasizing during court procedures save for the guy with his child's bones.

Stay Safe fucked around with this message at Feb 2, 2012 around 22:25

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