ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Notes from my reading: Every single male character meets a female with "the biggest tits he's ever seen".

The TV IV thread mentioned how Tyrion's acrobatics from his first scene with Jon never came up again. Hah.

The story about Tywin parading his father's mistress naked is repeated approximately a dozen times.

I suddenly have a lot more sympathy for the Iron Born, even though I could barely give a poo poo about the whole lot in FFC.

Leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal leal.

Huh. Blood Raven. Now I kinda want another Dunc story, if only to figure out wtf is up with that guy.

The Lemora thing from the thread speculation is interesting.

Windwordswordwindwords.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2011 11:12

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 07:14

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Darth Windu posted:

He is not shown as being cruel in any manner. He is simply utilitarian to a terrifying degree.

The word you're looking for is "pragmatic". This book has very few utilitarians.

Space Pussy posted:

Both are infants. All you need is a wetnurse you can trust, which they had.

Newborn
One year old

Xander77 fucked around with this message at 12:54 on Jul 16, 2011

# ¿ Jul 16, 2011 12:52

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

I don't get Roose's endgame. So he becomes King in the North (or a de facto equivalent) dies, Ramsay (whom he loving loathes) takes over and kills all his brothers, acts like a psychopath, pisses everything Roose got away. It's not like Tywin's big Lannister dynasty plans,so... ?

Kainser posted:

e; GRRM needs to cut down on 'as useless as nipples on a breastplate'

But are they leal nipples, or are their words just wind?

e; Would you say that these nipples aren't worth a mummers fart, nuncle?

# ¿ Jul 16, 2011 14:02

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Is Quentyn the first dead POV character since Ned?

Edit - other than the prologue / epilogue guys, obviously.

Edit 2 electric etc - oh yeah, Oakheart. Man, Dorn is so memorable...

.........

The only explanation for his entire plot line I can come up with is "severely rethought during the FFC/DWD break", because as it stands, it's 100% pointless.

Xander77 fucked around with this message at 20:29 on Jul 16, 2011

# ¿ Jul 16, 2011 20:12

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Steve112sms posted:

The Bran-tree vision seemed to support the Lyanna as the Laughing Knight theory. At least I gathered that was Lyanna beating Ned at swordplay. Also, kind of cool that Theon seemingly heard Bran in the tree when he was there.

Oh yeah, forgot to ask. I got the Lyanna / Ned thing, but were we supposed to know anything about the other Winterfell Weirdwood scenes? Specifically, the arrows?

# ¿ Jul 16, 2011 20:32

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

MeerkatHero posted:

See, I think it has a much bigger significance than that, given that it's a story told to Bran, if it's a story not about R+L=J but about what Bran is going to / could possibly do and become.

Did you really read Bran going "Well duh, it was Howland Reed" and go "oh yeah, that totally makes sense, and won't be ironically subverted because GRRM never does that"?

# ¿ Jul 17, 2011 03:34

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

OperaMouse posted:

Jaqen kills Pate with a poisoned coin. No idea how he kills the other guys in Harrenhall.

One guy was pushed off, the other had his dog poisoned with the berserker drug, right?

# ¿ Jul 17, 2011 13:33

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

How could anyone enjoy the Brann chapters?

He spent, what, 2-3 books getting to the three eyed crow, in some of the most boring chapters ever.

He FINALLY loving gets there, and it's Brynden Rivers. As a tree. With the children of the forest in tow.

Holy poo poo, says I, can't wait to see what happens now.

........

Absolutely nothing. He hugs a tree. He thinks about daddy. He DOESN'T learn how to use his abilities in an interesting fashion / who the hell the Others are or how to stop them / anything whatsoever of interest. The most pointlessly drawn out "get to the point already" plotline outside Dany's.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2011 17:41

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

literallyincredible posted:

on my reread of the series I was kinda shocked how much Marwyn gets mentioned. Its also notable that *every* person who cites him as a mentor is an evil gently caress who uses horrible necromancy and blood magic. I'm 100% positive he's set to be a villainous figure.

Oh? I don't remember that.

...

Add "when the sun has set [some source of light] cannot compare".

Now, on the one hand, I can see Loras earnestly spouting a cliche while believing his purely pure lovely love was special enough to justify it... but when you get that on every freaking page.... well.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2011 19:37

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Ecco the Dolphin posted:

Seriously, I think that guy read a different book from us. How the hell could Bran's storyline be drawn out? There were only 3 Bran chapters in the entire book! And I thought his chapters were some of the strongest in the book.

Because it's the same storyline that was going on for 2-3 books, and actually arriving at the destination hasn't resolved jack poo poo?

# ¿ Jul 18, 2011 07:37

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Lenin Stimpy posted:

What sacrifice are you referring to?

Some guy was shanked in the Stark weirdwood when it was young.

I'm more interested in the guy cutting weirdwood arrows, really.

Jimbola posted:

I feel so dumb, I missed all of these. Where does it imply that Theon was gelded?

When he starts listing stuff Ramsay removed, he ends with "and that... other thing".

# ¿ Jul 18, 2011 12:14

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

A) A better prose writer than Tolkien isn't even praise to be damned with.

B) Can anyone explained what's going on with the guards in Quentyn's final chapter? The first couple stand aside, but the others fight. What's up with that?

# ¿ Jul 18, 2011 18:03

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

I'm assuming that the lost littlest Lannister is going to have some "head of the lion" payoff now that Kevan is dead?

# ¿ Jul 18, 2011 22:31

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

NihilCredo posted:

But who is Stannis's real queen?

Ffffffffffffuck. I was just about to say that.

# ¿ Jul 23, 2011 19:26

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Limp Wristed Limey posted:

Racism

Mongoloid, right?

# ¿ Jul 23, 2011 19:58

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

SmugDogMillionaire posted:

Given that he's refered to as Bloodraven usually, Bryden Rivers sometimes, and Blackwood never, you have a good chance of also missing that the Blackwood deal is about him.

Seriously, where is that info mentioned? I got most of the "subtle" stuff about this book, but completely missed that one.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2011 22:06

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

lapse posted:

The "Bloodraven = 3-eyed crow" theory has been around ever since the novella The Sworn Sword.

:facepalm:
Yes, thank you, I got that part. It's the Blackwood part I was wondering about.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2011 01:11

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

I really hate moron protagonists (or yeah, "decent guys who just appear slow-witted", sure) so I'm prejudiced against the short stories, but what the hell is the point? (besides filling out the backstory)

# ¿ Jul 26, 2011 02:03

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Quantify! posted:

I'm pretty sure any theory that doesn't make you say "oh that makes sense" after thinking about it carefully is fans being idiots and turning "wouldn't it be cool if" ideas into their own personal continuity.

I'm not a big fan of fan theories (hah) but the Arthur Dayne thing is fairly reasonable, despite not mattering that much one way or the other (except, possibly, to set up a similar occurrence later in the books)

# ¿ Aug 10, 2011 04:56

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

NihilCredo posted:

I'm officially adding 'Mary Sue' to the list of insults that have ceased to hold any discernible meaning (alongside 'fascist' and 'hipster').

In a recent Alpha Protocol thread, one of the (fired) developers went "every single major character in AP is a Mary Sue, because they're all cool spy dudes (and dudettes). Sure, some of them are stupid, whiny, unlikeable, short sighted, sadistic, smug and get poo poo on constantly, but they're somewhat competent in their roles as spy guys (girls) = Mary Sue".

So the word no longer has any meaning even for people who consider themselves good at the whole writing / critic thing.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2011 14:05

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 07:14

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

I'm re-reading ADWD, and have come upon a question of utmost importance (or rather a minor detail that got me :spergin:

, I could never tell the difference)

Who exactly do the Dothraki fight if they don't have working knowledge of dealing with a foe in armor? Do they just fight amongst themselves / take slaves from peaceful people / limit their contact with actual Essos powers to threats from the Dothraki and bribes from said powers?

Edit - Nevermind that part actually, since I think that the Unsullied only really have shield and helms, as do the slave legions of Yunkai. But all the mercenary companies we see have "company armor" aplenty. And since having a company of sellswords on your side isn't an automatic victory, we have to assume that the people they're usually fighting with/against have armor as well. So what, half the continent has access to armor, while the other half neither uses it nor has contact with / is conquered by the other half?

# ¿ Mar 26, 2013 15:17

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