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Solice Kirsk posted:PTWP is Jon Snow. But now he's "dead" so the book will have no ending. I know your joking but he is dead. He might come back as Jon DeadSnow but he won't be Jon Snow anymore. Zombie Gregor doesn't loving rape people like his namesake and Lady Stoneheart is actually competent and interesting unlike her previous self.
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Jul 6, 2011 03:59
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Tony Danza Claus posted:You misspelled "Brennine".
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Jul 8, 2011 07:19
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Dik Hz posted:I find it somewhat damning that this is the lowest rated thread in The Book Barn by over a full point. IRQ and co are REALLY pissed that GRRM actually came through on this one. Also their bitching is annoying as hell.
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Jul 12, 2011 04:51
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Lawlicaust posted:Seriously? Welp. There goes that theory I guess? Nope all the Red Lady's visions came back to Snow, when she asks who Azor Ahari is when gazing into the flames. It is so loving obvious now it isn't funny.
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Jul 13, 2011 09:18
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life of lemons posted:I remember people saying how cool the fire and blood stuff from Doran was as a reveal at the end of AFFC. It set up things as Doran being patient but very meticulous. Turns out his initial plan failed, and Quentyn is a quiet and shy teenager who's nervous around women. That's a backup plan destined to fail. I don't know how Doran could have even had the confidence that Quentyn + 5 others could actually accomplish anything. Now his AFFC stuff seems delusional; the Sand Snakes and his daughter and everyone else are actually right that he's too slow to act. That's the thing though, it was a half assed back up plan. If Dany brother wasn't quite as stupid as he was, the plan would of worked. It relied heavily on the dope being alive and not getting his crown early. Opps.
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Jul 15, 2011 05:20
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mind the walrus posted:My call is that it's just like R+L=J and GRRM is trying to come up with the least bullshit explanation because everyone guessed it and he's trying to keep up with "subverting expectations" instead of just telling the cliche in an unconventional manner and then subverting expectations when it'd make sense to do so.
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Dec 26, 2011 10:22
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Tony Danza Claus posted:And we are all the kindly hobo with a dog. We're still alive, so that isn't true. We're the whore who Bateman tells to clean her vagina and then pulls out the coathanger late at night for god knows what.
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May 29, 2012 02:05
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I claim Tryrio the queens youngest brother and Dwarf and his love triangle with Shana and Lady Sensa.
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Jul 7, 2012 22:51
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:Hustler is almost certainly on that already. If it has Lisa Ann screaming Hodor for thirty minutes while being hosed in the rear end, their simply is no way to compete.
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Jul 8, 2012 06:49
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What the hell happened to Tyrion/Bron/Shane sex scene drat it! EDIT: gently caress it give me the one where Sir Pound teaches Sansa about the human food table fetish. Undead Unicorn fucked around with this message at 22:47 on Jul 10, 2012 |
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Jul 10, 2012 22:30
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Will have my chapter up tomorrow, maybe a preview up tonight.
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Jul 12, 2012 19:17
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It's nice that you all finished A Game of Bones, but we still have A Clash of Cocks, A Storm of Swap, A Feast of Hoes, And A Dance With Dragondick. We need to finish a porn pardoy series before A Wind With Winter never comes out.
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Dec 28, 2012 21:11
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Tyrone Chapter idea Tyrone is scouting out Emperor's Crossing, talking about the history and culture of the city, when they stop at a whore house where Tyrone has a personal history. Local men and women recognize him and start calling him "Two Man", Brawn wonders what's up and Tyrone reveals his dark past. He and his brother once saved a damsel in distress from some bandits, whom Tyrone fell in love with. As it turns out she was a prostitute but Tyrone loved her anyway and wanted her as his wife. His lord father was furious but agreed to the match, on one condition. Tyrone would have to buy her freedom, without his families money, and take her place so the littlefinger analogue wouldn't lose any money from losing a whore. Tyrone did so with earnest, becoming famous for his huge manhood the size of two ordinary mens. Men and women, wives and husbands, sons and daughters alike sought him the legendary "Two Man". While he earned enough money to buy his wife's freedom, a castle, and a large fiefdom right outside of Emperor's Crossing, his wife committed suicide according to his father 'because she was sure a freak like him would never be accepted outside of her'. He moops but Brawn wonders why a woman who loved him and understood him so really wouldn't trust him. He suggest that maybe Tyrone's father had her killed. Undead Unicorn fucked around with this message at 05:59 on Jan 5, 2013 |
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Jan 5, 2013 05:49
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:That will fit perfectly ( I literally burst out laughing when I read 'after all, his brother and sister were both thin and beautiful, with pale skin and blonde hair, and he was 6'6” with black hair and rich ebony skin'. Also we need to make the reason Tyrone's dad hates him is because he has a micropenis and wonders why his son is blessed and he isn't. He also is sure Tyrone is son 'because they look so much alike' but isn't sure about the twins for whatever reason. They're both too dumb I guess.
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Jan 5, 2013 06:10
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) in Tyrone 1. I'm also in love with the idea that Tyrone is half-black, and his mom slept the old king, but everyone at (Casterly Rock analogue), including his family, just think of him as having the same parents as his siblings, and just treat him like poo poo because he's somehow different.
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thornghost posted:I think we should probably give priorities to writers who worked on AGoB to get the chapters they want. Maybe first pick of as many chapters as you wrote for the last book? Please, please add my Tyrone idea or let me make it a chapter before he gets his dick cut off. Oh new idea, he gets his dick cut in half, he finds his wife (who is not dead, just blind for whatever reason), and she doesn't believe it's him before he only has a 7 inch pecker now. He goes to get his dick cured in order to convince his long love it's him.
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Jan 5, 2013 17:25
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I'll take 21 and 28. Also please add My damned Tyrone idea! Not fair just stealing all the Tyrone chapters like that.
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Jan 5, 2013 21:28
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Thulsa Doom posted:I've actually read Tarnsman of Gor (and was completely mystified as to how people would masturbate to it) so I'm well prepared. I've actually did a paper on the Gorian subculture and read most of four loving books. Tarnsman was before Gor even became anti woman bondage porn.
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Jan 5, 2013 21:37
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I'm sincerely writing chapter 28 as a Choose Your Own Adventure book. Thelonius will either slay the anime body pillow, become it's new love slave, die 3 ways from it, fall off a cliff, drown, end up his random female mooks love slave, or find the hidden dwarf village and become a level 5 paladin.
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Jan 8, 2013 05:49
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Let's start a kickstarter to fund a hardcover edition with actual cover art and full color spreads of select "action" scenes.
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Jan 9, 2013 15:26
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Yes, we did it. Holy poo poo we did it, it's on actually on Amazon and can possibly make money in the near future. We will have seven parody books p before George Martin is. This truly is the worst thread.
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Jan 10, 2013 23:53
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I have my Theon expy chapter almost done already. Practically wrote itself. As a registered ADTRW poster I guess the anime dickgirl pillow inspired me or something.
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Jan 11, 2013 08:43
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run DNC posted:Its more like "having a brain" says that Stannis cant possibly lose the battle of Winterfell because half of the Bolton army is planning to kill the other half of the Bolton army, and Stan the man has advance warning of Roose's big trump card of the I think Karstark men being turncloaks. How the gently caress does Ramasy know about Lightbringer then? Or why would ask John to hand over fake Ayara? Then again why would Roose let him write that dumbass letter? How the gently caress would everything go so well when everyone in the castle wants to kill each other and Stannis knows what Bolton's plan is? I think everyone got hosed in that battle hard. Stannis, Bolton, Freys, ect.
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Apr 18, 2013 22:37
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:This is not being trapped by plot. This is being trapped by characterization. Robb is repeatedly held up as being Just Like Dad. Unfortunately for him, what is one thing everyone knows Eddard Stark did? Bang some chick while away at war. Turned out okay for Dad, so Robb bangs some chick while away at war. But Robb is also really stupid and his sense of honour compels him to marry that woman, neverminding he was already promised to a Frey girl as payment for crossing the Twins. This is how Robb's characterization gets him killed, because he is His Father's Son. His honour gets his head lopped off, just like daddy. Pretty much this. Depending on what happens with Jon Snow and his 'death', it's a little to soon to play that card against GRRM before ruling out Merense Knot and masturbatory reflections on his own writing.
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May 16, 2013 07:21
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My chapters are already done just editing them. Quick question did Game of Bones sell like even one copy?
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May 17, 2013 05:34
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1stGear posted:
I don't know who gave them red titles, but that was dumb. Everything else was great though. EDIT When does Jamie get a shameful boner over Breinne again?
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Jun 3, 2013 04:42
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Contra Calculus posted:I never thought in a million loving years anyone who was not an 80s high school sitcom bully would use "book-reader" as a pejorative, but TVIV just proved me the gently caress wrong! Goddamn, what a lovely subforum. Just read the SPOILERS thread and gently caress show watchers apologists. They seem to think we don't already know George Martin is a perverted, sex offender surrounded yes men man children. Oh and something about the HBO show. Undead Unicorn fucked around with this message at 08:24 on Jun 3, 2013 |
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Jun 3, 2013 08:12
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mkay0 posted:lovely leaders are a staple of asoiaf. I love the idea of a quest for power, then having no clue how to use it. See Jon wasn't as dumb as Ned though. Even after all the poo poo he pulled, the Wildlings liked him and so did most of the Night's Watch. The only people he pissed off were his advisers and unlike Ned Stark he had no reason to think they'd go as far they did. Janos Slynt and the other idiots actually plotting murder were dead. Hell when he even gave Stannis good, practical advice and secured important alliances and hosed up Bolton's betrayal. Jon Snow is an idiot, but he's no where near as dumb as Cersei or Ned Stark.
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Jul 9, 2013 02:22
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