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Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012
I like some things about the books but their pacing and contrived world-building irks me. At this point, I don't see how the next two volumes can not be massive anticlimaxes.

The White Walker threat is the first thing we see right at the prologue, for craps sake, and it still hasn't even made it to the Wall. My personal guess is that it will stroke after the battle of Winterfell, raising the corpses of both sides and attacking the wall front and back, and make that whole plotline borderline pointless other than Jon Snow surviving.


The more hyped a threat/resolution is, the greater the odds of it just fizzling out. Back in the second book, chapter after chapter was spent going on about Stannis coming to mess poo poo up, ohno anyday now! Ooops, double gambit, fail. It was when I noticed that any plan/event that could possibly stabilize the setting or push toward a reckoning would fail, just like that. It really stole the tension from the setting. By the time the Red/Purple Weddings, the Sons of Harpy crap and everything else came along, it was all expected.

It does amuse me that apparently everyone knows of the guild of shapeshifting uber-assassins, but only Euron Greyjoy actually bothers to use one. You'd think that the Lannisters and other wealthy Houses would have the Faceless Men on retainer, but nope. Apparently they are meant to kill crooked ship insurance agents and old pirate kings.

Book Cersei just annoys me. Way too dumb and psycho, and the whole "Ohh she received a grim prophecy, but in trying to avert it she juuuuust might bring it about!" thing has been done to death at this point. I guess since GRRM revealed that Jaime was more than an impulsive shitcock, he had to make the other twin cartoonishly vile to keep balance.

Old predictions from my fine nerdy rear end:

Wights eat Boltons and Freys after Winterfell. Aegon tries to rally Houses to deal with it and become king in the process, fails, dies like a chump. Daenerys finally bumbles her way to the continent, meets Jon Snow. One of them kills the other to get the whole magic sword thing going and kill the Night's King, dragons deal with the thick of undead. The aftermath of the wars and undead cripples the land severely, but with the undead destroyed, Winter is mercifully brief (Bran also does something something to help) and healing can start. Daenerys or Jon (doesn't matter who) takes the throne, Tyrion becomes Hand, Asha gets the Iron Islands after Euron gets eaten by a dragon due to sheer hubris, Victarion gets burned alive because why not, Hodor becomes High Septon.

We might need a few seances to get it out of the author, though.

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Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

kcroy posted:


yeah he can't even ride a horse without his gimp saddle - no way he is jumping off a loving balcony into a tuck and roll, popping out it and making a witty comment to Jon about God and Bastards. That was just something editing overlooked I'm sure.

Still in med school here, but....not necessarily. Achondroplasia and several other causes of dwarfism usually don't have a big effect on muscle tone, so you can be quite strong, especially when it comes to moving your our smaller, light frame around. Many of the issues come from repeated/long-term effort, where the bone malformations can be painful and limiting: climbing large flights of stairs, staying on a normal saddle for hours on end, not to mention that a normal saddle would have stirrups you can't reach.


So yeah, a bit of quick effort like jumping/tumbling is not really beyond the pale at all.


Also, it's mentioned several times in the books that Tyrion did lots of tumbling as a child to amuse his uncles until Tywin told him he looked like a fool, and he does a bit more of it on the boat in ADWD.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012
Maesters are the least goofy vehicle for exposition GRRM could find. They can still be pretty goofy sometimes. Especially once they become a dragon-killing elders of zion conspiracy out of freaking nowhere.

What I'm saying is Lady Dustin for Iron Throne 2016.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012
A friend started reading the books recently, and was a bit stumped by the whole Karstark debacle that helps bork the King in the North.

So House leader Rickard freaks out over losing two sons in a pitched battle, and starts drooling over killing captive Jaime Lannister, having forgotten how war and hostages work. This, mind, while his firstborn son and LAST HEIR (Harion Karstark) is a Lannister captive down south.

So if he gets his wish and kill Jaime, he's effectively killing his own son and extinguishing the main line of his House. "Shouldn't he be banging the 'Let's do a hostage trade NOW!!' drum so hard that even Catelyn would tell him to cool down a bit?", my friend asked, and I honestly don't know enough to answer. Hell, I've played enough CKII and Europa Universalis to freak out when I have no heir, and I'm not a feudal lord.

Then again, guess just the whole dumb love wedding wasn't enough to undo Robb and keep the story away from a resolution, so having a retainer go apeshit was necessary. Old grizzled warlords don't deal well with war and succession.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

kcroy posted:

That could have been fun - you have an assassins POV and it takes you most of the next book to realize it is Arya because of the I am no one stuff.

Very true. I guess Gurm felt that he was using that gambit for Reek/Theon, so it wouldn't do for Arya to return as an identity-free assassin as well. Not that the Reek thing wasn't blatantly obvious from the first.

I read Aeron's POV chapter that I had missed and it was...eh. Between Cersei, the Boltons, the Freys, the Sparrows and such, did the story really need one more cartoonishly evil side-threat? The Others should really just chill for a bit and let all of dumb Westeros kill itself, let winter finish off the scraps and win by default at this point. It felt lazy. "Ehhh, Euron needs to be scarier to be a thing this late in the game. So, kid rapist and murderer, owner of Adamantium Armor of Invincibility +5, possible Ctulhu elder god. There, that's a solid semester's writing right there!"

I'll take the Dorne chapters over the Iron Isles subplot any day. Which is not saying much.

It's also funny how the bad (Ahem 'worse') guys command iron loyalty and surf of amazing luck while the rest gets literally beheaded if they piss a drop outside the pot. Banished guy everyine hates returns the day after the king died, drowns a local lord, quarters another and starts throwing his weight around? Eh, whatevs. It's not like his brother is the captian of the local fleet and hates his guts...oh wait, forgot, he's a moron.

Lannisters lose a bunch of battles, including a whole host on the edge of their richest holding? Meh, queue another from the barracks. Crazy queen bungles every deal under the sun in three months' time? Just take a naked walk, status quo, maybe Stannis gets a loan out of it before dying.

For all of the people who bitched about Ramsay's plot armor in the series, the books are far from clan in that regard.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012
A friend of mine is reading the books and,since he knows I read them all, often brings up points from them.

One thing he asked that I hadn't considered: The Karstarks threw their dumb fit because Jaime Lannister killed two of the top guy's sons and was then freed for ransom. This, while his actual son and heir was being held captive by the crown. Shouldn't he be first in line talking of ransom and hostage trades instead of putting a price on the Kingslayer's head and murdering teenage Lannisters? Sounds like that would be wiser than basically forcing your king to execute you.

Thinking back, a lot of the conflict, particularly involving the Starks, feels cheap and forced, while, say, Littlefinger, the Boltons and Euron just have cheat codes enabled. Had it been a Stark to sound a magical horn and tell his bannermen he was bringing dragons into the fight, they'd likely have boiled him alive as a sorcerer. But the tradition-bound reavers will make their guy king over dragons no one has seen (Guess it's the medieval version of campaign talk. "We'll build an ice wall and make the wildness pay for it!") despite him being an exiled loon, just so there can be a new threat to keep the Tyrells from taking charge.

It starts getting contrived when there's always a new threat to keep the chaos rolling, and one would think a culture that has had to deal with years-long winters for centuries would know better than to set their world on fire on the edge of what everyone agrees will be the longest cold season in a while.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

Ginette Reno posted:

Can Neil write creepy sex scenes and page long descriptions of food? Can he nuncle?

Indeed! We'll have that book hot from the opens fried in bacon grease, much and more, or I'll be as useless as nipples on a breastplate!

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

emanresu tnuocca posted:

I think God Emperor is the best dune novel but I know many disagree.

In anyway the entire dune series basically goes Dune - filler - filler - filler - God Emperor - unnecessary epilogues, whether you like God Emperor or not it's pretty much the only book other than the first one that actually has a point.


I also love God emperor. But yeah, half of the books in the Dune series would have been better off as stand-alone stories in a different setting. I enjoyed Messiah as a very rare look at the 'day after' the epic victory of the underdog, when ideals are all but spent and everyone is chafing at the compromises and changes their own hard choices created.

Children of Dune does that a little, but it also gets lost in trying to bring back elements from the first book and setting things up for God-Emperor.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

Dangerllama posted:

I do dig the moral ambiguity they brought back with the Dany thing. It's really felt like things were becoming too black and white in the last two seasons, with Cersei turning pure heel as a case in point. In the books I always took her as more of an unfortunately raised narcissist who couldn't quite get her head around why everyone hated her. Show Cersei just feels boring and one-dimensional.

The idea that no one is 100% good or evil seems to have been lost on the show runners either because they don't care, or they don't have time anymore to do that kind of character development.

I don't see it. Cersei is written so retardedly fickle and evil in the books it was a big part of why their lost their appeal to me. Let's see:

-She tortured her kid brother (as a child)
-Threatened to rip the tongues out of servants (as a child)
-Killed one of her maids because she fancied Jaime (as a child)
-Killed her husband
-Seduced her dumb cousin
-Killed a High Septon for knowing too much
-Started a realm-wide headhunt for dwarves
-Got her very own Dr. Mengele/Frankenstein to kill people in horrid ways and breed monstrosities.

Not a lot of nuance in that one, however you slice it.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

In It For The Tank posted:

Tbf she watched her son die in agony in front of her and her dad was murdered by her brother like a week later. That she goes off the deep end is not surprising, considering she was always a little crazy.

Half that list took place before Joffrey's death. If Gurm wanted to portray her as a character with any depth, he lost his timing, bad. He even zig-zags between having her being stifled for being a woman in patriarchal society ("I should be the heir! I don't want to be forced to marry!") then shifts back to her being a woman scorned ("I wanted to be Rhaegar's queen sooo bad! Why doesn't Jaime do what I want him to do?") without ever picking one track and sticking with it.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

IRQ posted:

Dragons seem pretty fuckin' easy to take down though.

Well, even in the last book a rando with a spear manages to pierce Drogon's hide and make him bleed, after lots of chapters of Tyrion and others basically saying that scorpion bolts and other heavy poo poo won't do anything if it doesn't find an eye.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012
I was rewatching the show with a date and just couldn't get over how Bran's actor basically skipped adolescence and just became Geddy Lee from Rush between seasons.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

kcroy posted:

awkwaaaaard

so uh... wow.. incest am i right?

Pfft. We've been friends a while and if we have watched tommy wiseau's The Room and von Trier's Antichrist without issue, I think it'll be fine.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

NihilCredo posted:

I used to know a girl who'd insist on watching Salo with new dates. Let's just say her love life wasn't idyllic.

Ok, yeah, that's kind of a high mark.

My worst experience was when a girl I was meeting in a blind date picked 'Precious' as a movie for us to watch. Cue 45-minute fit of body-wracking grief sobs on her part with me there patting her on the shoulder.

I mean, that usually happens only -after- I take off my clothes! :rimshot:

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

Arcsquad12 posted:

The big secret is that the rest of the north are just as idiotic as the Starks. The Boltons were by far the smartest because they said screw honour and started scheming instead. Probably the only reason Roose didn't stage a coup earlier is because the rest of the Northern lords would still follow the Starks. Once things fell into chaos, the Boltons made their move.

There are very strong hints in the book that Roose doesn't really care about anything. He not shrugs off Ramsay killing his heir, he basically admits that he will also kill all of his other kids with his new wife. He also says Ramsay is not going to rule after himself, which is weird because if he has any plans in that regard, they have not been shared with us.

All points to him basically just wanting run poo poo into the ground for as long as he can for his amusement, which is not really a smart thing to do. It will make you go for every opportunist gambit but will also send you tumbling really fast. Since he's an older guy in a world where he doesn't expect to be alive after the next long winter, he doesn't give a toss. He gets to die fat, happy and maybe even with a King in the North crown if he fancies just to spite the Starks, and whoever comes next can reap the whirlwind.

So yeah, they are not really the smartest. Just the ones best able to benefit from the mess and with less fucks to give than the others.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012
Even the books slip badly in the "there's no good and evil, just people in conflict resorting to underhanded or desperate means" in the last ones.

Sure, at first we see that Lannisters, Starks and Baratheons and others have their decent folk and their rotten people, that they have their own concerns and knots to untangle....

The three books later we have theNorth ruled by literal skin-peeling maniacs who feed their rapetoys to the dogs. And a crazy evil pirate popping in and winning a pirate election witha horn because he says it will bind dragons that he heard of somewhere. And a narcissistic moron queen with a pet necromancer sceming to behead half the court and every dwarf in the land. And a grotesque army of evil, bizarre slavers so comically over the top that Metal Gear bosses called and told them to tone it down a bit.

To be fair, my main issue with the TV series was ho they messed up Jaime's storyline post-injury. He's still a jerk in the books and never really comes to terms with stuff like trying to kill Bran and ordering the murder of the Stark house guards, but there is some good stuff in seeing him trying to forge a new identity after losing his reason of being, and deciding if he's going to be a new man, he may as well be a decent one when possible.

Shrugging that off to just let him go "well, father's dead, I can just gently caress my sister freely now, yay!" is far less interesting.

Also, the whole "yeah, we let them capture Casterly Rock, it's no biggie" is just dumb. Letting your homeland be sacked with winter on the way would get your army in mutiny even in a world where winter doesn't last years. "Yeah, they are killing my cattle, raping my daughters and torching my home back West, but it's alright because the Commander said no one would expect us to march here to Highgarden. Though it does seem the Tyrrels forgot that castles are meant to withstand sieges, so can't fault him too much!"

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

RoboChrist 9000 posted:

Which one is that?

The Yunkai army. It changes general daily for maximum dumb. One is a Nurgle version of Jabba the Hutt. Another is a girl in gold armor and erotic inlays that goes around carried on a shield. One who is tiny and thus breeds his slave soldiers to be above seven feet tall... and one who is just a big guy with a red beard and a brutal, evil disposition because GRRM was already in talks with HBO for tv rights and stopped caring entirely.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

NihilCredo posted:

Seven-foot tall soldiers on stilts, don't forget.

Nooo! gently caress you so much for reminding me. You monster.

Times like this, I wish I drank so I could kill my neurons and forget.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

TK-42-1 posted:

'What would some rich idiots with no idea how to actually fight and a bunch of slaves come up with?'

All of them being loving awful is brilliant too. The only slaver army that's worth a poo poo is the unsullied and making them is some seriously hosed up stuff. Cut off their dicks, make them kill their dogs, make them buy and then kill a baby. And whatever else poo poo theycdid to make them have no fear. I kind of want to reread the books now because i've forgotten a lot of the details. I mainly just remember the poo poo the show hit on plus faegon and some other things from the end.

Sadly we know the answer from that from history, and it's way less entertaining. They hire mercenary armies stiffened by small cadres of elite national forces bound to them by ethnicity/family.

Meereen is a mess. It's a waste.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

Hot Dog Day #82 posted:

Gilly is just wildly competent when compared to Sam the Slayer. She lived/gave birth to her child in the most inhospitable climate in the setting, survived well into her teens in the house of a mad man, learned how to read (and maybe learned a new language too, though in the show I guess the freefolk speak the same language as the poncy southerners), and probably did a bunch of other things im forgetting. All Sam did was get a lot of exercise and inexplicably not lose weight/ use his privilege and education as a noble to get a plum job in the wall's library.

Gurm is in love with being 'unpredictable'. It's the reason why Tyrion has killed far, FAR more people in melee combat that, say, Jon Snow or Jaime Lannister in their POV chapters, despite having no martial training. And why every big battle that is foreshadowed (Stannis vs. Renly, Battle of the Blackwater) will swing around so the chaos can go on and nothing will be settled.

And yeah, Sam still being a big guy still bothers me. When he was living a noble's life, ok, makes sense. But when all you have to eat is army gruel out in the cold and you are doing yard practice and going north of the Wall, then sent packing across the world, you'd think it would melt away fast.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012
Gotta go with the naysayers here. After your House just had it's patriarch, heir and sole woman member offed in a terrible war that devastated the realm, Benjen should at the very least have been married to a powerful house to cement an alliance and get more Starks with juicy claims born. Signing up to have no claims or kids ever is just amazingly, milk-curdlingly dumb.

Maesters or no maesters, people get sick, die, fall from horses, drown, get infertile, get assassinated. It's a wonder Westeros managed to keep their feudal houses going for 300 years, let alone 3000.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

kcroy posted:



Limiting children is a luxury of birth control. Aside from a pretty sketchy Tansy Tea, do they even have birth control?


Several women characters mention drinking 'moon tea' to prevent pregnancies.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

Lycus posted:

They need to release more Adventures in Babysitting a Rebellious Teenager, aka Arianne's TWoW chapters.

Really. It tells a lot about the lack of proper editing when you have a series that should be narrowing its focus to bring about resolution and instead goes "Huh, a periphery character from a dud sidestory pursuing a known wild goose chase? That sounds like a great use of a POV slot for the second-to-last book!"

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

PupsOfWar posted:

I don't mind book dorne

partially because (while i wouldn't go to a jacobs level here) I do think that there's more going on with them than has been revealed thus far and that they will continue to be active free agents

I don't think it's remotely a foregone conclusion that the Dornish will end up declaring for fake Aegon and being at odds with Dany eventually, for instance, as both forum prognosticators and fanfic writers tend to assume


I kinda wanted to like Done, if only because the Red Viper was so fun a character, and because if you're going to live in lovely fantasy land, might as well be where it's warm, the food is spicy, sexual norms are loose and the ruler actually gives a toss about the common folk.

But it's contrived in ways that aren't enjoyable. Also, why the hell would Varys/Illyrio scheme based on Vyseris and not Fake Aegon? Joining their prize boy with the heir to Dorne would be a far surer bet, give them more options as they'd have the Golden Company and a whole kingdom of resources, plus two Targaryens free to offer in marriage to cement other alliances.

Fake Aegon may have been foreshadowed early (Second book, or the third?), but everything about him feels like a filler arc meant to pad out the series.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

i81icu812 posted:

Everyone is terrible. Wall falls ice zombies kill everyone. The end. No moral.

I think that was going to be it, until someone told Gurm that Bakker's Second Apocalypse series just did it first.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

Lycus posted:

Gaunt and hard as old bone is how they're described in the book.

As someone who has dealt with a lot of cadavers, trust me that old bone is brittle and very fragile.

But, yeah, metaphors.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

TK-42-1 posted:

In a world full of people making dumb ducking decisions left and right and constantly backstabbing, someone with solid yet flawed ideals is easy to grow attached to. His motivations make sense to a lot of people and don’t seem outright evil.

Plus rooting for Jon all the time is gay as gently caress.

This. Stannis grew up in thew shadow of an idealized older brother as much as Renly, but unlike Renly he did his part well and honorably and mostly got shat on for it. He has to do dodgy, questionable things to stake his claim, as everyone in the setting, his motivation is rather selfless (he truly does not want to be king and even passes Storm's end, the one prize he actually wants, because it would not be legal) at least he shows distaste about it AND doesn't waffle and moan like Dany/Jon. He's dealing with a poo poo situation with the tool he has.

That, and he's a socially incompetent sperglord who means to drain the Westeros swamp, so you can see why he'd be popular with -some- types. Never mind that he basically -had- a border Walla but let the immigrants in!

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

Lycus posted:

Well, she made a shadow monster that won him a huge victory, that's a lot to "fall" for.

Yeah, she fucks up sometimes, but she absolutely proved she can do magic.

poo poo, from all we've been shown R'lorr IS the only true religion. The Seven have never changed a dry fart into a wet one in the setting, but the red god has people raising the dead, summoning shadow devils, seeing the future, cloaking people under illusions...

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012
Nah, they'll find someone to keep releasing books "based on GRRM's notes" for as long as they can. today's market won't let go of any gravy train until it run out of rail, let alone one this big.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

banned from Starbucks posted:

So books based entirely on which TGIFridays has the best queso dip and why the Jets are dogshit?

Easy peasy.

"Some corners of the realm, Dany learned, still celebrated TarGarYen Fridays, during which they gathered and shared bread warm from the ovens, dipped in cheese."

"I've looked at the new soldiers House Jhett has brouvght to our cause. Many and more of them are as useless as nipples on a breastplate."

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

jit bull transpile posted:

Sex ninja space nuns

MIND-CONTROLLING, sperm-jacking sex ninja space nuns, my friend.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012
I like Dune a lot, but I can see its warts. Herbert's prose rarely shines, and his characters score lowly on the "feeling like actual people" scale. Those are usually made better by the fact that his universe is a weird but interesting place you want to see more of, and that it's so far in the future that things posthuman concepts can explain why characters feel odd. Plans that encompass generations? Human computers? Combining feudal galactic hierarchies with a supercapitalist shared monopoly in which? More please!

I actually liked the second book a lot, mostly because it blew 13-year-old me's mind that the hero of the last story would now be trapped in a bureaucratic, poltical nightmare in which he's mostly trying to keep the ongoing murdercide from getting worse while not cracking completely. Even in the first book the Atreides are hardly classic heroes, dealing in bribes and lies and propaganda (hell, early on Duke Leto casually bemoans that they can't use poison to conveniently off large swathes of their population in Arrakis, and he's complaining that it's not feasible, not that it would be a bad thing.)

Worlbbuilding is a tricky, fickle thing. some universes (Star Wars/Trek, Dune, ASoIaF) have a knack for making you want to see more even when you dislike one or two entries, while other (Matrix, Second Apocalypse) only grow more stale and silly the more you see of them.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

Intel&Sebastian posted:

Normal "royalty" on Earth don't even feel like real people. I think it's definitely a product of what you mentioned with them dealing in so many alien concepts, I think it'd be more jarring if they were putting out realist dialogue.

Oh, true. But I mean in the sense that, say, Paul reads more like a jaded 40-something than a noble teen who should be horny and at least somewhat interested in some courtly bangin'. One of the oddest things about dune for me is that despite how much of it revolves around breeding and sexual power dynamics, it feels sterile and sexless.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

Single and LOVING IT posted:

Wasn't there some interview where GRRM was talking about that book and how he'd invented ice dragons?

I hope not. I was killing Ice dragons in Final Fantasy 2 (ahem, 4) while he was still trying to get Beauty and the Beast back on the air.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

Fabulous Knight posted:

You know, apparently his publishers did at one point suggest splitting TWOW into two books, which led me to think that maybe GRRM actually has written a whole lot, enough for two books, but the plot just hasn't progressed sufficiently in those pages to warrant a release. But then I thought about it some more and came to my senses.

I think it's more likely the publishers just went "Give us whatever you got that is even vaguely sensical so we can publish -something-. We'll fix it and have a title out while you 'work' on the 'rest'."

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Maybe Jason Mamoa comes back to rape Dany for an entire episode, as the finale to the whole thing.

And then he tags in wight-Ramsay, for extra edgelord twist appeal.

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Also they had plenty of book for season 5, it's not really an excuse at all for how bad that was. Somehow they took the dumbest plot in the whole book (dorne poo poo) and made it even less relevant or comprehensible.

Oh yeah, how could they leave out riveting stuff like traveling with Dick Crabb, the awe-inspiring Kettleblack saga, and other such heady fare?

I'm glad that so much of the book stuff remained in the books and never made its way to the screen. Sure, the show found its way to make its own dumb chapters (and how!), but they were usually good about knowing what was important stuff that had to be adapted and what could be safely tossed out. Well, except for Jaime telling Tyrion about his first wife, which was a rather defining moment in their stories. I can -sort- of get the reason, because it would take Tyrion's level of drama and disgrace into Super Sayan levels after he was near-killed, betrayed, lied about, villified and had his favorite puppy eaten by Gregor Clegane. But still.

Even the show wasn't so bad as to make Euron's takeover be basically "He showed up with a magic horn promising the world once everyone makes a long round-the-world voyage, and everyone else was too retarded/contrived to stop it".

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

nine-gear crow posted:

When he started writing it was only supposed to be three books. Ned was the hero of Book 1, and then he died. Robb was supposed to be the hero of Book 2 and then die. And then Jon and Dany were supposed to be the heroes of Book 3 and then probably die too. I dunno.

E:


It was "I'll build a thousands ships! And girls are stupid, they can't rule anything! And Theon has no dick!" / "EURON! EURON! EURON! EURON!" :eng101:

Which was dumb and hilarious and borderline Trumpian, but still not quite as bad as "Hey guys! Um, there's a girl in the rear end-end of the world with dragons! Sailor told me so! Vote for me and we'll go there and get them!"

The way he basically just farts in the general direction of all noble houses and religious authorities and common sense that constrain every other character and never pauys a price is so contrived it takes plot armor to a new level. Everyone else is all "ironborn must never shed the blood of ironborn!" and he's cackling while offing political enemies right after coming back.

It's like Gurm went "Well, I need -something- to disturb the Tyrrels top keep this clusterfuck unresolved and going for two extra books. Dorne is dumb, the Stormland are a weird bland nowuere I forgot to give a character to, even I am sick of Lannisters....gently caress it, I'll use the ironborn again. They now don't care about the North and want the world, and the motivation is that this guy is crazy."

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

mossyfisk posted:

It is possible that there's a correlation between "blows magical horn" and sudden political support that goes beyond just "wow that horn is pretty cool".

Not that we'll ever know.

"I mean, it killed the guy who blew it. If THAT doesn't decide your vote I don't know what will, man."

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Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

kcroy posted:

Matrix was an awesome movie. Just curious, does anyone under the age of 45 like Commando? I can't imagine a younger person putting that on their top 10 list.

I'm not even 40 yet and Commando is my guide to everyday life. It helps that my father got our first VCR the day it was shown on national TV here in Brazil ,so we recorded it and my brother and I watched it some 7 billion times.

It was dubbed, though, so I was utterly floored later on when I first saw Arnold speaking english and how goofy he sounded.

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