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Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Contra Calculus posted:

Here is the gassed Bad Thread V which I created yesterday that lasted two pages and should serve as an example of what not to do on the first page.
That first page is an accurate portrait of the common ASOIAF fan.

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Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Abnegatus posted:

I'm sticking by my word, I'm not picking this up till a paperback is released.


I need something to throw away in disgust without feeling guilty.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Thulsa Doom posted:

"The maesters are all male," he thinks to himself, "but I want Sam to surprise sex a Hermione knockoff. I want him to bowl her over with his bulk and toss his belly on her back so he can reach her with his fat pink mast and his body slurps over hers stinking of body cheese while she cries and feebly fights to escape."
Well, there's probably a Sand Snake in the Citadel, soooo...

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



ExpletiveDeleted posted:

But if Sandor's on Pet Island, what do we do with Grey Robb?
Coupons & Deals.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

The only Son of Craster we need concern ourselves with is Jon Snow. It's pretty obviously laid out in the books that Craster kidnapped Lyanna to the Tower of Joy, and knocked her up.
But Lyanna wasn't Craster's daughter... edit: was she?

Talas fucked around with this message at Nov 18, 2012 around 18:34

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



I wonder the rating of ADWD when they reach that season.



Where is the penis rating?

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Someone is stealing the ideas:

http://io9.com/5988768/what-would-a...-even-look-like

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



The Gurm is flirting instead of writing...


Talas
Aug 27, 2005



I already spoiled a couple people, they shouldn't walk near me when I telling spoilers, goddammit! Now I wish I did it intentionally!

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Contra Calculus posted:

I went on a date with a girl the other day and she brings up the show and asks me if I watched it. And it just hit me that this poo poo is now considered first-date conversation material. This poo poo couldn't happen with Star Trek back in the day....... Could it?
What the gently caress?! My date also brought the show up the other day, I was going to scream spoilers but she was hot so I didn't

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Just remember, if she says she thought Renly and Loras was hot, you gotta break out the "well, I'm not exactly straight myself" routine for added moisture. Bonus points if you're not even lying.
This route can only end in a threesome with us and another guy, I think I'll pass.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Shoehead posted:

ELO are fuckin' awesome.
It is known.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



He's looking straight to my soul... no, I don't have any favorite character! I swear!

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

We're #161,472 on the Amazon bestsellers list!


That looks pretty good tummy, it's quite an accomplishment.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Shoehead posted:

Don't look at me, he said it. I don't know why he wouldn't just lie and say he based it on the Great Wall.
Because everyone knows the Scots are ice-zombies.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

The show just killed Ros.

I the WE just got WILD CARDS'd.

RIP Ros

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Holy Calamity! posted:

Thoros and Mel met up and had a friendly chat and here you guys are talking about Ros.
They probably did it to replace Edric with Gendry

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



BananaNutkins posted:

It went on and on until finally it ended. I thought it was some terrible prologue to the Winds of Winter, but no, Gurm went on to explain that its part of the upcoming "Gurmarillion" (his actual words, punctuated by that hysterical wheezy laugh). Apparently he's doing a coffee table book, and was supposed to write the history of Westeros or something, and turned in a 90,000 word draft.
Tell me you screamed at him to just write the loving "Winds of Winter" book.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Good thing there was no such thing as twitter or facebook when I read SoS the first time

I raged alone for a while and people thought I was crazy when I tried to explain.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



elmer fud posted:

How much of Dune should I read?
Only the first four books by the good Herbert. The other two by him are interesting if you like sex-slavers and silly superpowers.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Oberst posted:

It's much harder to WILDCARDS someone with "bran becomes a tree" or "dany shits"
"Dany has diarrhea" is better.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Chinston Wurchill posted:

Oh, and she immediately told my brother, who had been away on work and missed the episode, and actually cares about the show, what happened. I guess that's how normal people watch TV.
I hope they cite the cause of divorce as "Spoilers!".

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Hail Satan, I guess. Let the Grum at least finish TWOW so we've only one book left when he finally goes to hell and HBO finish the series with a bullshit ending.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Joramun posted:

She never thinks of herself as Dany in the books, nor do any of the other characters ever refer to her as such (only Daenerys, Khaleesi, Your Radiance, Your Grace, etc.). Only the narrator refers to her as Dany.
Interesting, I thought Jorah called her Dany once and she shut him down.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Dead Man Posting posted:

I, too, once knew a man with terrible flatulence.

Also someone just sent me this. It's EW, so I didn't really read any of it, but it's a new casting for Oberyn. Pedro Pascal will play the role.

http://insidetv.ew.com/2013/06/28/t...d-viper-oberyn/


Dornishmen, the mexicans chileans of Westeros.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Alhazred posted:

And like everyone else from Dorne he accomplished nothing.
Now come on, Doran was almost going to do it... well, until Arianne hosed up. I guess she really accomplished something.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



p.crestmont posted:

Khaleesi hand is already full
Yeah, with diarrhea

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Civilized Fishbot posted:

Ryan Gosling as Quentyn Martell.
Not brown enough.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Davos is great because he knows a lot of the world he lives in and how much it sucks.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Hunky Joe posted:

Well Joffrey had a younger brother that owns him all the time! Tommen!
Tommen and his kittens

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Mr. Unlucky posted:

heh feh snort adjusts glasses

It's not a neckbeard, it's a way of life!
Nice fedora.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



redreader posted:

Jaime gets hanged by Brienne.
He can't die until he kills Cersei.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



jsoh posted:

I don't think any of the things that happened were cheap contrivances, though. Like I guess Victarion shows up and can be whatever gurm wants because hes a clean slate but the things Jon and Dany and Tyrion do are pretty consistent with their characters, I think.
It was pretty funny to see Jon spiraling in a deep hole of stupidity while telling himself and only himself that he was right for some reasons.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Wachepti posted:

hahaha omg those suspenders
They are only missing a moon and three wolf's heads.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



Talas
Aug 27, 2005



thark posted:

There's also the fact that he's stated that he stopped reading the series after the first book due to it being too dark for his tastes.
What a loving pussy.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



AtAt-de-fay posted:

Lord, I hope this ends up with dueling lawyers. HBO suing Martin for breach of contract and Martin suing HBO because he's a dick.
If HBO does a different thing, I expect the grrum to write the opposite out of spite.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



nooneofconsequence posted:

Is there a release date for the new book yet.
Yeah, the date is never.

Talas
Aug 27, 2005



ruddiger posted:

October the world book comes at at least, right? Wanna read that book.
Yep. Personally, I'm not sure about reading it. On one hand I don't want the grum to see more of any money until he finish the other books, but on the other I really like the back-story

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Talas
Aug 27, 2005



p.crestmont posted:

GEORGE

"Fetch me the worst wine in the cellar!", Lord George R.R. Martin bellowed to the half dozen pages in his study. "The...worst wine, m'lord?", one of the pages inquired. "You heard me!" shouted George. "And then leave me, and I am not to be disturbed under any circumstance. I have much and more writing to be done today." Wine would have to suffice;he dared not ask for vinegar, as this would undoubtedly arouse suspicion.

When the box of wine was delivered and he was left alone, he pulled open the plastic nipple and filled a bowl, then unbuckled his trousers and slid them down, gazing into the mirror at his death. The black finger of the shitdick had crept half ways up the head of his member, slowly but surely continuing its glacial crawl into his bowls, and his doom. I still have time, surely the Gods can grant me that much. Coming this close they could not be so cruel as to rob me of my legacy.

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