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You're not in Kansas anymore. You're in Malatora, ladies and gentlemen. Respect that fact every second of every day. If there is a Hell, you might want to go there for some R&R after a tour in Malatora. Out there beyond those borders, every living thing that crawls, flies, or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubes. We have an indigenous population of cyborgs called Cytrans; they're fond of napalm that can char your flesh in under one minute, and they have bones constructed from an artificial material called duratanium. They are very hard to kill. As a forums poster, it is my job to keep you entertained. I will not succeed...not with all of you. If you wish to find this funny, you need to cultivate a strong mental attitude. You've got to obey the rules: Malatora rules. EDIT: Goons have been declared victorious against Malatora! See bottom of this colossal post  NOTE: This thread is rated "F" for furries.Special thanks to Mizuti and Dark Archimedes, who brought us all this bounty. This website was posted in the PYF Internet Trainwreck thread, specifically referring to the leader of this would-be nation, Robert Lord, a.k.a. Taygon. We'll get to him later on. I'm getting ahead of myself. What is Malatora? The Official FedCom Website posted:The "Federated Commonwealth of Malatora" (often shortened to simply "FedCom") is, in short, the future. People should be free to live with as few laws as possible, and society should promote and support the common good of all. Our goals include uplifting humanity to the next social and evolutionary level. We believe that science can push the limits of what most people consider possible, and we do not fear pushing beyond the limits and weakness of the original human body. In short, the FedCom nation is an anarcho-communist state off the coast of Africa, and the Cytran Project will allow its citizens to place their brains in robotic dragon bodies. They are led by a gentleman who thinks that quoting wikipedia makes him a scientific authority, a year of JROTC makes him a brilliant tactician, and who will eventually assume the form of a hermaphroditic dragon that looks like this. Allow me to elaborate: SECTION I: FEDCOM Where is Malatora? Malatora is an island off the western coast of Africa. The precise location is not available to outsiders/non-citizens due to security concerns. How are they going to establish themselves? Why, they're going to become international squatters and use lethal force against anyone who tries to remove them. It's not unethical; they're exercising their right to "self defense." Furthermore, they are justified in claiming that land because it is their "spiritual homeland"...even though no FedCom citizen has so much as laid eyes on it. gently caress national sovereignty. What sort of government runs Malatora? There are two main bodies of government: the Council of Leaders and the People's Assembly. The Council of Leaders is the executive body, and is chosen on a meritocratic basis by the council. The standards and qualifiers of merit are also decided by the council. Taygon, Council Member posted:There are no job application forms to become a Councilor. If a seat needs to be filled, the Council looks for the best person to fill it, and then extends an offer. That offer is all the justification the population needs. But FedCom is a direct democracy, so they also have the People's Assembly, which votes on everything. Voting is non-compulsory, so it follows that only the educated will make decisions. For the ignorant, the beloved council is present to offer advice, as always. What kind of laws does Malatora have? As stated here, social norms and customs are to be more important than silly written laws. They do have a defining document called the Code of Malatora, which enshrines these customs and morals and will be the basis for written laws later. THE CODE OF MALATORA posted:Honor, Courage, Loyalty, Honesty, Respect, Benevolence, Rectitude This is to serve as the equivalent of a constitution for the small Utopia of FedCom. How many fortune cookies Taygon had to eat in order to compile this document is still classified, unfortunately. The great thing is, while virtually no consideration has been given to trial code and proceedings, things like dragons' inalienable right to fly have been provided for. Taygon has stated that juries have been done away with in favor of a panel of experts. Common citizens are intelligent enough to vote on every political matter, but God forbid they decide the guilt or innocence of their peers based on the customs and mores they collectively share. The Malatoran Economy FedCom, if you haven't noticed, is an anarcho-communist nation. They claim that they will use a gift economy. There is no private property (with exceptions according to custom). All labor is voluntary (except as assigned punitively). Everybody works because they are encouraged by custom to do so, and because they are assigned work based on what they think is fun. So it's a revolutionary new economic model--except when the government is allocating resources and mandating labor, in which case, it will just be a command economy, but they don't really talk about that much. Oh, and I almost forgot: there will be no scarcity of anything because of the brilliant technologies they're going to develop. They'll be totally self-sustaining, and it will be economically advantageous for them to be so. Trade is for suckers. Malatoran Defense/Foreign Relations There's a lot of this stuff on the visitors' forum, so I won't go into much detail. Basically, however, it would be suicidal for any nation or coalition to attack Malatora. Mehrunes Taygon, Prince of Destruction posted:For any nation or alliance of nations, the bloody cost of capturing or destroying the Citadel would be absolutely staggering, and the bodycount could easily rise to tens of millions... and that's not counting the Navy's support and retaliation on the surface. They may be untrained civilians, but their pluck, luck, and guerrilla tactics will give them the advantage they'd need to hold out against the entire human race, if they had to. That, and their A common past-time on their forum is masturbating to how good their cyborg dragon bodies would be at killing infantry equipped with small arms. FedCom and the environment FedCom has designed habitations that have zero negative impact on the environment. Excavation of an enormous structure hundreds of meters beneath the earth is pretty much like minecraft. As mentioned before, the arcologies are totally self-sufficient. Nosy outsiders aren't allowed to see these brilliant schematics, though. Malatoran Culture Given that this is the driving force behind both legal action and the economy, it's worth saying a few words about it. Basically, the "culture" is whatever vague values/concepts Taygon spouts on the webpage and people agree to before joining. Social mores are definitely best when imposed from the top down. Anyway, most of this stuff is standard leftish, feel-good lines about tolerance, understanding, and patience, with a few important additions. Namely, Malatora claims to be non-species-ist. They use the mirror test for self-awareness, and anything that passes it gets "respect." They claim they will intervene militarily to prevent the killing of such animals (to a limited degree). Alternately, they will teach animals like elephants to fight back against/evade poachers. I'm not making that up. SECTION II: THE CYTRAN PROJECT Here it is: the moment you've all been waiting for: the key separating factor between The Federated Commonwealth of Malatora and every other communist utopia dreamt up by people who didn't pay attention in ECON 101. Best you hear it straight from the Website: posted:The Cytran Project is a transhumanist research and development program, with the ultimate goal of creating cybernetic total-body prosthetics for people who desire or need them. This will not only restore full function to an extremely wide selection of disabled people, but also provides a means for individuals to customize their physical appearance, and make their external appearance match their inner self-image — the body can, at last, match the soul. This is the stuff of science fiction, but I suppose it's possible within the next century or so. They believe that a small group of people, with virtually no capital, and no advanced degrees in the sciences can, while simultaneously founding, running, and quite possibly defending a small country, produce a working product within the next 20-45 years. Multiple model classes exist including the ever-popular Dragon, the Humanoid, the Taur, and the Non-humanoid types. Your dream of becoming a Na'vi can finally be realized! Or perhaps you'd like to become your fursona? Indeed, behold their sample image for what a "therian" humanoid could be:  Yifftastic. No, you'd like to be a Chakat. What the gently caress is Chakat? Well, apparently it's a taur-class  http://i.imgur.com/Y90H6.jpg Living as a dragon/gryphon/velociraptor/dragonoid (NWS: dragon tits)/centaur/furry-whatever comes with additional benefits! Not only does yiffing become more convenient, you become a veritable superhero: WEBSITE posted:Compared to humans, cytrans will have superior durability, flexibility, stamina, environmental adaptability, strength, senses, and longevity. Cytran technology is a permanent cure for an extremely wide range of diseases and conditions that would be terminal for humans. But Warheart, how are they gonna get the tech to make these things? Well, it's easy! See, most of this technology exists in some form or another; they'll just put it together. If it's proprietary, well, they'll just acquire it by "whatever means necessary." Reverse-engineering can't be that hard! It's not like interfacing/adapting these discoveries will be difficult; it's pretty much like LEGO. See also: pluck, luck, and hard work. But I thought you said nobody had an advanced science degree! Yeah, but that doesn't matter. What matters is your ability to get results; they don't need any slips of paper. They'll just use pluck, luck, and hard work. But even for highly-trained, extremely intelligent, motivated researchers, major breakthroughs take a long time and a lot of money! They don't need money! They have a gift economy, and they have front companies to interface with the capitalist world! They've already made major breakthroughs and could start producing Cytran parts right now if they had a machine shop. They just can't tell you about it because you're not a citizen SECTION III: GLORIOUS LEADER Robert Lord is a self-declared "Aspergian." He claims in-depth knowledge about how to assemble weapons of mass destruction. He has a pseudonym (for when he writes fine literature about dragons): Ryan Ashkoort. He has a dragon name: Taygon. He will one day assume the form of a hermaphroditic dragon. He claims to be very good at paintball, Aikido, and computer games, giving him the valuable skills necessary to run the Malatoran military. According to Lord, he was involved in a year of JROTC, during which he managed to piss off everyone who interacted with him. He is, of course, still an invaluable leader on any battlefield due to the tactics he learned. He is certified to operate a CAD program, and can legally append "CD" to the end of his name, which is pretty much as good as any other sort of degree. He serves on the Malatoran Council of Leaders as both the Defense Councilor and the acting Immigration Councilor. He was apparently the one who thought this whole thing up in the first place. He is 27 years old. He wrote his own wiki entry. He has a deviantart page (surprise, surprise). Here is his youtube account, in case you need more videos about dragons. This stuff is listed pretty publicly. Please don't do any stupid, creepy Internet-detective stuff to him. He seems mostly harmless.  SECTION IV: Miscellany Are you sure this isn't a troll? No. I've wondered quite a bit about it, but the amount of work Taygon et al. has put into this crap is colossal. The time he spent writing his scifi story about Malatora, creating the (still unfinished) website, the time he put into his forum responses, etc. This would be on the scale of Chris Chan's collective trolling, all to create a honeypot. I'm inclined to think that at least some "Malatorans" are sincere. Delusional, but sincere. What does it take to join Malatora? There's material on the website/forums about joining and getting access to the juicy content. If someone wanted to try getting in, that could be amusing. I don't think it's that hard if you really wanted to. What about just posting on the forum? You have to make an account to post on the visitor's forum, but you can read it without one. If you do browse the forum, look forward to spectacular arrogance from the insiders. They seem to think that they're already dragons, and will frequently refer to the barbarism of those primates or the flimsiness of humans. That's not to say that humans aren't brutal or flimsy, but these clowns think that they're above it all. They do claim to be the next evolutionary stage... I want more profound dragon wisdom! Okie Dokie! THE DRAGON'S MANTRA posted:The Dragon is wise, a sage among the ignorant. Show me the sources! But of course. FedCom website: http://fedcom-online.webs.com/index.htm FedCom wiki page: http://micronations.eu/wiki/index.php?title=Malatora FedCom Forums: http://s11.zetaboards.com/FedCom/index/ Taygon's Personal Page: http://taygon.webs.com/index.htm Ryan Ashkoort's Malatora Novel: http://taygon.webs.com/books/Reborn.htm Sundry forum threads I used for info: http://s11.zetaboards.com/FedCom/topic/7422399/1/ http://s11.zetaboards.com/FedCom/topic/7421757/1/ http://s11.zetaboards.com/FedCom/topic/7378744/1/ TL;DR A group of social rejects led by a sperglord will take over an island off the coast of Africa, transplant their brains into robotic dragon/furry bodies, and live forever in a self-sustaining fortress capable of withstanding the entire human world's military might indefinitely. This is possible thanks to the gift economy(TM), UPDATE: We're sixty pages in, and quite a bit has happened. Mutant Headcrab infiltrated the forums, gaining "new arrival" status. 'Crab is able to post some excellent content from inside a restricted area of the forums. The Malatorans got suspicious about the multiple-fold increase in traffic, and flipped out. Due to goons just looking at their forum and a handful of people asking questions, a national emergency is declared.  Eventually, the glorious dragon empire was linked to this thread, which resulted in a brief conversation before their forums were locked down, denying access to anyone who hasn't been a member for a long time. If you try to visit the forums now, you'll find that it's not available, even if you're signed in. Only the old guard of proven loyalty still have access. Esteemed Malatoran Tanya Sapien makes an appearance on SomethingAwful after BulletRiddled buys "hir" an account Tanya shows up and announces that she thinks the entire FedCom/Cytran project is too fantastic to ever come to fruition, but that it was a pleasant fantasy for her. She claims to have infiltrated the community herself in order to make its members realize how ludicrous the whole thing is. She receives an outpouring of support from goons, and the thread becomes a veritable hugbox due to Tanya's general amiability and her sexual orientation. There's trouble in paradise, though: Tanya is very fond of image macros, unfunny memes, and non-bbcode anime smilies. She's warned that these will not be well received on this forum, but dismisses such warnings, saying essentially, "I do what I want, and if you can't accept that, then I don't care about what you think." She also likes to talk about her fursona/Cytran form at length. Her fursona is a wolf with purple tentacles growing out of its back, and using those tentacles to rape people is a frequent and hilarious joke for her. Thanks to some joker, she heads off to FYAD, where she starts running her big furry mouth and is promptly banned. On her deviantart page she posts a rant about how she was just playing us fools, how she extracted valuable information about us and how we think, and how this information will only make FedCom and the Dong Menace stronger. She claims it was all an undercover op: lulz the cake was a lie posted:Haters gonna hate. Oh, and while I'm at it, I should mention that Tanya believes that dragons actually existed: Master inflitrator posted:I Believe that dragons, or a reasonable facsimile there of must have existed at one point in time, the evidence to support it is just too overwhelming. Deep undercover, poster DancingDongs continues to bring us the best content in spite of the Malatoran embargo. He brought us a bounty too great for this meager post to contain, but his greatest contribution has been Taygon's personal erotic fan fic...about himself: Part 1, stolen from Avatar Part 2, in which Taygon's sick fetishes are enumerated Goon recording of Part 2, chapter 1 Here have some excerpts from Taygon's literary mastercraft King DoDONGo posted:“Doctor,” I exaggerated wrinkling my nose, “you could vent this room all day, and as long as you humans are in here, it will still smell like you.” Taygon posted:“No, of course not. It just makes you a little different from humans.” In which Taygon rapes his best friend: Lord of the Dongs posted:I wriggled my spine to try and disrupt his grip on me, but he held firm. Resistance was futile against his strength. “Taygon, what’s wrong with you! Stop means STOP! I know you understand that!” Underwater, all I could do was mouth the words at him. Damnit Taygon, I know you’re an honorable dragon! What’s wrong with you? Why won’t you stop? Why are you hurting me? God-drat, it felt like my vagina was on fire now. Don’t do this! I’m your best friend! Let me go! Taygon, on his brand new hermaphrodite sexuality: NotGay posted:Why oh why didn’t I decide to be a herm from the very beginning? If I could do this all over again, I would have picked this gender. It felt so insanely good, and my conscience was still clear: nothing at all wrong with a herm mating with another herm (that’s what they were designed to do, after all). For that matter, nothing at all wrong with a herm mating with either a female or a male, either: I was totally free to have intimate relationships with anybody, regardless of their gender. It was extremely liberating… Oh, and another thing which has recurred throughout the thread: Taygon despises human drugs, but when he gets his Cytran body, he'll get his brain wired so that he gets feline effects from catnip. loving catnip.  CAT DRUGS posted:“The pheromones?” Here, have some priceless nonfiction Taygon quotes On a revolutionary leftist forum, Taygon talks down to others as being impractical dreamers  FedCommie posted:Speak for your own species then. Leave mine out of your petty human politics. It is of little relevance to my kin. Taygon despises civilians: Defense Councilor posted:I think you are a self-absorbed civilian brat with a massive chip on his shoulder that deserves a good solid clock to the face. Who do you think I am? I am a ristar military commander. I am used to giving the commands and taking action, and no civvie brat in his daddy's home office gives ME orders. Where I come from, my word is the last word, and I make the rules. You get me yet? I hope so, for your sake... Defense Councilor posted:I am not in the slightest bit afraid of American law enforcement, and I do not apologize for anything I say. ... And I am in a military force (I never said it was the retarded US military), just not one that has made itself public......yet. Then again, I guess you get to be cocky when you can shrug off nuclear weapons and have WMD's more powerful/nasty than any the world has ever seen. Der Furrer posted:Nukes are overrated, and easily survivable (depending on the distance one is from ground zero). Here's some pictures Dear Leader:  Humanity's only hope:  Taygon's mate on the honor of glorious Nippon:  Goon depiction of Taygon as a chakat.Taygon, in his erotic self-fan fiction posted:I gave myself a head that was shaped similar to a wizard’s hat, a long tapering shaft that grew as big as a typical roll of toilet paper at the widest point, and a series of thickened ridges the crossed over the urethra, giving the profile on that edge something like a saw. The base narrowed down to a diameter like that of a soup can, creating a bulge reminiscent of the pseudo-knot that the dildo Staliph had used earlier had. Update: A CHALLENGE HAS BEEN ISSUED: If the defense councilor of Malatora will face a goon champion in a match of Supreme Commander, and if he should best our champion, I will close this thread. Dirt5o8 has volunteered to command the Awful Legions if no one else can/will.Giggily has also volunteered to command the Awful Legions.VICTORY! Micronations Wiki posted:As of 18 August 2011, Taygon has stepped down from the helm of FedCom, and wants nothing to do with micronationalism anymore. Update, continued Goons have continued to work tirelessly to find new ways to mock and deride the noble denizens of Malatora. Hence, we have: Aluminum Sky, a collection of accounts witnessing/referencing the rise and fall of the Federated Commonwealth of Malatora during the middle-twenty-first century.  Also, Bulletriddled has released the Malatora Tower Defense game. Can you take on the prestigious duty of Defense Councilor and stave off humanity? HINT:it's not as easy as Taygon would have you think.
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Jul 29, 2011 00:57
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You should have led with that TL;DR. Holy poo poo 
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Jul 29, 2011 01:04
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Truly, the internet is for crazy people what a van without windows is for a sex offender.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:08
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I cast a spell that kills all dragons. The End
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Jul 29, 2011 01:13
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Also my mom only lets me spend five bucks a month to get my cool gaga avatars back so I guess I'm stuck with this one for a while.
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Bad Bromance posted:I cast a spell that kills all dragons. The End Nuh uh! They have magic-proof vests that reflect your spell and kill you.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:16
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I can't entirely tell if you believe they believe the whole thing will be real one day. It seems like a roleplay setting to me. As in, they don't actually think this'll happen, they just playing a furry variant of D&D or something, or maybe they use it as a world to base their stories in. It's just the usual furry crap, and not worthy of the effort you put into the topic. Seriously. 
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Jul 29, 2011 01:17
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the_steve posted:Nuh uh! drat, not again.. 
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Jul 29, 2011 01:18
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Thoughtless posted:I can't entirely tell if you believe they believe the whole thing will be real one day. It seems like a roleplay setting to me. As in, they don't actually think this'll happen, they just playing a furry variant of D&D or something, or maybe they use it as a world to base their stories in. Taygon posted:FedCom is a nation, a close community, and a family. Yeah, they really do take it seriously, though I imagine there are some trolls in the mix.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:19
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ChickenMedium posted:Truly, the internet is for crazy people what a van without windows is for a sex offender. This is a good analogy.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:23
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Warheart525 posted:Yeah, they really do take it seriously, though I imagine there are some trolls in the mix.   Every time I think something is too ridiculous for someone to believe in. Every single time. Well, carry on fighting the good fight.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:26
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I think it's pretty funny how some crazy people with no idea how a state actually works think that they can just sit down and think their way what it takes to create a utopia. It's like if I sat down to make my very own organic anarcho-communist television set only to be surprised when my sticks, wires, hemp-seeds and communal spirit isn't enough to receive HBO.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:27
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We need to attack them before they get to powerful. We cannot let them get through the planning stages!
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Jul 29, 2011 01:28
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You guys are just jealous that Goon Island never happened, and this guy's Yiff Island did. Let's set up Goon Island down the road from them, and see how long before they move out.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:29
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Jesus. This would be a good plot for a book if it was not so yiffy.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:29
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Ranccor posted:Jesus. This would be a good plot for a book if it was not so yiffy. It's essentially the plot to Metal Gear if Big Boss was a furry dragon poet.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:31
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I want to laugh, but I pity the people that honestly believe this with all their heart .
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Jul 29, 2011 01:31
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Warheart525 posted:He wrote his own wiki entry. Every word of this is gold. quote:Robert scores in the 130–140 range on nearly all standardized IQ tests. He often has difficulty finding the right word, will pause often when speaking, and may repeat portions of sentences just said if he made an error (especially while reading out loud). This can undermine the way others perceive his intelligence. Robert attributes his minor speech problems to "thinking too fast" for his mouth to keep up, and there are occasional bottlenecks between translating his mental images into words for speaking (he thinks in pure images: say "apple", and he sees the fruit in his head, instead of the word). He relates to older adults and highly intelligent individual best, who are closer to his mental level. Those who know him well (such as family) have described him as "very mature" and "wise beyond his years". quote:He has grown quite adept at hiding that he's an Aspie. If you hadn't read this section, you'd probably never know otherwise.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:34
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I wish they would somehow get their magic space tech, just to see how bad they gently caress up themselves/ the environment. [e] No wait, I hope they pool their money together and go to some island off of Africa like that Somalia pirate episode of south park.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:34
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Never mind the dragons, I'm more concerned how they're going to create reinforced concrete buildings, massive underground structures, and flying cyborgs using only the resources on a tiny island with no outside trade. I seriously hope they have some highly experienced engineers to prevent people from getting killed by this guy's ideas (if they actually try to go through with this).
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Jul 29, 2011 01:37
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Thoughtless posted:I can't entirely tell if you believe they believe the whole thing will be real one day. It seems like a roleplay setting to me. As in, they don't actually think this'll happen, they just playing a furry variant of D&D or something, or maybe they use it as a world to base their stories in. I recommend you read through that "micronations wiki" for a while before you think that this is just a roleplay setting. There are more wackos. And they even have Very Serious Arguments. quote:The "George vs. Robert" conflict was a conflict primarily involving two members of the MNeu message board: George Cruickshank (of Atlantium) and Robert Lord (of FedCom). Also for fun read his entire micronations wiki entry. It's amazing. quote:Robert is a proficient strategist and computer gamer. During his time at Howe, where the FPS game "Quake II" was widely played in massive LAN network battles (of 40+ people in a single map), he showed an innate talent for the game, and quickly rose to the legendary status of "Frag God" on these servers, dominating them.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:38
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The Island of Dr Moreau. I bet they're as fat as Marlon Brando too.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:43
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quote:Atypical all his life, he does not care about celebrities, sports, or music, and hasn't bothered to learn anything about such "worthless drivel". He has never "fit in" with his peers, and doesn't care to. Since he doesn't care what others think about him, Robert is effectively immune to peer pressure. This is cute. Is he one of those guys that will cry when you make fun of their weight? Anyways, this is not creepy but sad. Pathetic. They need real friends, poor guys.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:47
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quote:Robert has used his Aspergian ability to absorb information to great effect, and continues to do so. His knowledge ranges from building a biomass digester for electricity, to the assembly and effects of WMDs. It would take several years and thousands of pages to list everything he has learned in his private studies, but most of it focuses on scientific information and similar practical knowledge. I think everyone has those times where they waste a few hours on Wikipedia browsing articles, but no one refers to them as "studies" or "practical knowledge" of the subjects. That said, I don't have Aspergian powers so maybe I'm missing something.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:48
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Don't lie to yourself, turning into a dragon would be sweet. I would not gently caress other dragons though so I don't think I'm cut out for the New Age.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:48
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I came here from the PYF trainwreck thread and needed something sane and grounded. This was not it. This was almost as bad as the Clive Barker book Coldheart Canyon. I kind of figured it was hosed up, but I picked it up anyhow and got tricked into reading furry snuff porn. Same thing with this thread, I kind of knew it was going to be weird...but seriously, all that? Goddamn. From now on anytime I'm outside of Pet Island and see a thread title that includes any reference to animals or mythical creatures I'm just going to go ahead and assume it is about furries.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:49
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Musical_Daredevil posted:Never mind the dragons, I'm more concerned how they're going to create reinforced concrete buildings, massive underground structures, and flying cyborgs using only the resources on a tiny island with no outside trade. I seriously hope they have some highly experienced engineers to prevent people from getting killed by this guy's ideas (if they actually try to go through with this). Dude can reverse engineer any mechanical device in his mind.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:52
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I don't see why this guy can't stay confined to NationStates or something.
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Jul 29, 2011 01:56
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This is going to end like Lord of the Flies
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Jul 29, 2011 02:03
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Hedrigall posted:The Island of Dr Moreau. The Island of Dr Morbidly Obese
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Jul 29, 2011 02:08
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Whew, that was a relief. I read the first paragraph or so and thought this was going to be a particularly awful choose your own adventure thread. When I realized the crazy was coming from outside the house, things got much better.
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Jul 29, 2011 02:16
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Stultus Maximus posted:Dude can reverse engineer any mechanical device in his mind. Let's just hope that includes an electric arc furnace and cement mixer. This reminds me a little bit of the guy who tried to build a toaster from scratch, except this guy is serious.
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Jul 29, 2011 02:17
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Spaticus posted:This is going to end like Lord of the Flies
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Jul 29, 2011 02:21
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If they actually go through with this, how the hell are they supposed to get to the island? Whatever West African country these fuckups are going to settle in isn't going to be happy about it. So how do they plan to A. Get there B. Not get killed C. (Incredibly Improbable) Get sovereignty
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Jul 29, 2011 02:31
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Hundreds of years from now anthropologists are going to be baffled by the small group of caucasian remains found huddled together on an island off the coast of Africa. "Ultimately what seems to have killed off this tribe were the elaborate ceremonial dresses made from synthetic fibers they wore, still fully intact and covering the remains. Heatstroke killed every last one of them within minutes of arrival, despite their obvious intricate design the only form of ventilation in each garb was a hole in the groin region. However, we can tell a lot from these artifacts, this all male tribe held a multitude of now extinct animals sacred: the half wolf-half fox, the half dog-half wolf, the half fox-half wolf-half dog, the half wolf..."
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Jul 29, 2011 02:37
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I finally remembered where this sperger got the idea for this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhOitOWIQG4 "You're not the boss of Tigerbot Hesh!"
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Jul 29, 2011 02:38
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Jul 29, 2011 02:40
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Why has there not been a movement to create the Island of Goon yet? Can you imagine all of the bacon related monuments we could make? What about all of the money we could make off of creating XXXXXXL t-shirts of anime characters, and selling the ones the Goon High Council does not wish to wear? Plus, kittens. Kittens everywhere.
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Jul 29, 2011 02:49
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C-Euro posted:Don't lie to yourself, turning into a dragon would be sweet. Turning into a dragon would be outstanding because I could fly and stuff like that. I, too, would not gently caress other dragons and I would prefer to be human since humans would probably want to loving kill me for torching something (accidentally, because I sneezed). I thought there was an Island of Goon project ages ago.
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Jul 29, 2011 02:51
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homerlaw posted:If they actually go through with this, how the hell are they supposed to get to the island? Whatever West African country these fuckups are going to settle in isn't going to be happy about it. So how do they plan to Heh, silly human.  Taygon, in all his glorious draconic wisdom, has already figured that out.Taygon posted:There is also the possibility of purchasing the land. While some are in favor of this route, I oppose it, since it effectively surrenders sovereignty by legitimizing another authority as greater than our own, and that's not what we want. Every question you have is answered in this thread, but I don't expect you to understand it. Taygon is far wiser than most humans, and we can't assume to grasp the complexities of his plans. e: quote:Voting is not compulsory. If a citizen is unable to make an informed decision on a subject being voted upon, they simply abstain, and allow the ones who understand what the vote is about to make the best decision. What a masterful idea! This council of voting people needs a name worthy of its grandness. We shall call it... a jury. 
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Jul 29, 2011 02:52
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Wanna organize a Meetup in Second Life with members of this. Kids still do that, right?
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Jul 29, 2011 02:54
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