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hedonista
Feb 23, 2007

why is grief. grief is strange black. sugar is melting. we will not swim.

Hey another lady who hates kids here (almost 25). I've always felt this way, never played with baby dolls, cats and dogs are awesome, etc. I certainly respect children as feeling humans; when my close friend had a baby it got slightly easier. I smile at them if they're staring at me in the store/attempt to make conversation if forced, etc. Some kids are funny, they are alright. Not for me, though. Shut up about your loving kids. No thanks.

I'm chiming in to give my experience as someone with similar leanings to yours who accidentally got pregnant. I've been grossed out by pregnancy my whole life and always took precautions, to the point of developing kind of a phobia about it in high school ("Oh poo poo I gave a boy a hand job must wash it with scalding water in case it somehow gets on something that touches my vag!"). It was scary, scary stuff and I would make myself sick on a monthly basis worrying I'd immaculately conceived somehow. I realize this is crazy; I grew out of it, just explaining my background of similar phobia.

When I was 19-20 I met a charming olda-boy who became my boyfriend. He had "had a vasectomy" and was clean, so being trusting and totally in love I thought, perfect! Let's do it a lot! Turns out you should avoid dating a Prince of Lies (I have many stories about that twisted fucker), and you should always protect yourself fully.

I have never lived through anything worse than the month in which I had to wait for the doctor who performed abortions to rotate back to my area (thanks anti-choice shitlords!). Along with all the fun pregnancy symptoms, I entered a fugue state of trauma/depression - almost failed all my classes, and I couldn't tell my family which wedged open the growing rift between us that I am still repairing. I will never regret/feel guilty about aborting, without that option I would have probably killed myself.
To keep this short, it took me a few years to recover and really feel like myself again. If anything, the experience solidified my awareness that children are not for me. The trauma was caused by the horror of being pregnant when I didn't want to be.

I don't meant to open the abortion can-o-worms (god please nobody start arguing about it) but I'm just trying to pass on the advice to you, Ms. OP (or anyone else in the same situation), that it is not something to take any risks on if you know you have such an aversion. Nor is having a baby a decision you should compromise on, EVER, whether you want one or you don't, whether your mind will change "someday" or not. I feel like life has a million decisions and paths and there's no correct one, but try not to foul up anyone else's time as much as possible, whether it's your significant other or a newborn child.

I loving loathe when anyone brings up "selfishness/childishness" in these debates. Procreation isn't a moral obligation or duty, and anything that says otherwise is parroting religious/patriotic echos of the desire to control. It is possible to sacrifice yourself and bring love and kindness to the world without birthing an undesired, resource-sucking person.

Get thee to the Ask/Tell Birth Control thread! I love my IUD.

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hedonista
Feb 23, 2007

why is grief. grief is strange black. sugar is melting. we will not swim.

opie posted:

Seriously what the hell does playing with baby dolls as a child have to do with hating kids. I know a lot of men who never played with baby dolls and they don't hate babies or young kids. I like to think that people can mature beyond their interests or lack thereof at age 6 or 7.

Baby dolls are for simulated motherhood. It is a "normal" thing for little girls to do, and is usually pushed on them pretty heavily by advertisements/parents/etc. It's just a reiteration of what other girls have said in this thread, and is just a piece of evidence that points to never having been interested in having a human babychilde of mine very own. I wouldn't give it too much weight or worry, keep liking to think what you think.

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