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Fruity Tree
Aug 14, 2010


demozthenes posted:

I've seen over a dozen doctors about getting a Yoon ring or Essure procedure, which my insurance covers, and the most I've gotten out of it is a Mirena and a "We'll talk when you're 30."

My boyfriend (27) is concerned about this and has started looking into a vasectomy. The first doctor he spoke to offered to book him for the procedure in a week and even jokingly called him a "player."

I just hate that it seems more acceptable for a man to have a vasectomy than for a woman to get sterilized. It seems like everyone expects men to gently caress around and hell yeah, it does get soooo bothersome when you have to use a condom everytime or deal with women pretending to be pregnant because that is how life goes... HERE HAVE A VASECTOMY MY TORTURED FRIEND.
When a woman asks about sterilization: "Hmmm, you should wait a few more years, you might still want kids, you might be unhappy with your decision, you will recognize your TRUE DESTINY in a few years, so don't sterilize yourself yet, woman!"
Sometimes I get the vibe that it's part of "growing up" or becoming "more mature" for a woman to want a baby. I absolutely don't understand this position and hate it when people become condescending towards me because I don't want children and say things like "yeah, yeah, in a few years you'll be the first one to have 4 kids out of this group". It just gets awkward when everyone wants to hold that cute new baby and have it drool all over their breasts and I just stand there, hoping that noone will offer me that I could hold it.

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Fruity Tree
Aug 14, 2010


Ashenai posted:

I can't help but think you're harboring some sort of unacknowledged hurt that makes you hate kids. Consider going to therapy and finding out what's going on with you.

I agree with this as well. It seems like you start hating all people who are currently in a phase of life that you have gone through already. Even if some of them are well-behaved, not-whoring (because it's so important to you) teenagers. I get the vibe from the OP that you start hating everyone who is not like you and younger than you which can happen when you apply your standards to children/teenagers because they are in an earlier phase of life. If you lack empathy in general, then this seems pretty likely. Therapy in any case.

Fruity Tree
Aug 14, 2010


Esmerelda posted:

Anyway, babies are just babies. They all pretty much do the same things and I've seen them before so I don't get why I'm supposed to turn into a quivering mass of goo at the sight of one.

I guess it just really is the hormones... Just like hormones are supposed to make you want to hold a baby when you see one, which seems to be scientifically proven as a friend stated. It's supposed to make reproduction more likely bladibla. That makes a lot of people in this thread not women... but what are we, then?

I think the biggest problem I've always had is that I absolutely can't emphasize with the people who turn crazy when they see a baby and always assume they do it for attention or because it's what mature/fertile/desirable women are supposed to do, so they do it too. I guess that's a pretty stupid way to see things. Mmmmaybe it's not their fault...

Fruity Tree
Aug 14, 2010


YeahTubaMike posted:

I'm 24, I don't like kids, I don't want kids, and I never have. I never even played with baby dolls as a kid. It's really fun having my opinion delegitimized due to my age and gender.

Oh yes, I remember that... good times. I found realistic baby dolls to be the weirdest, most useless poo poo ever and unrealistic cute dolls made for girls were just scary. And baby dolls who'd open and close their huge eyes depending on how you tilted them...
No thank you

Fruity Tree
Aug 14, 2010


Vulvarine posted:

Can you explain this? I've heard the whole "if you don't want kids you're immature" thing plenty, but nobody has ever bothered to really explain it.

I actually thought he was referring to all the people who just see their children as little persons whom they shape at their own will, making them whomever they want. And that's just not how it works and it's probably way harder to convey ideals (especially if you want to do it subtely/effectively) than they think it is. It's not all about politics, morals and ethics and opinions, it's also hard work.

But maybe he wasn't referring to that at all.

Fruity Tree
Aug 14, 2010


EmeraldFlashlight posted:

Is there a big difference between different kinds of hormonal BC pills too? Or do all hormonal types affect you in pretty much the same kind of hell-on-earth ways?

Not really, the key is just to find the right dose that doesn't make you feel horrible. For example I had one that had a rather big dose of hormones in it and it worked pretty well for me but it kinda freaked me out and I thought it would mess with my body too much (even though everything was going pretty well, I was still afraid). So I got a much weaker one, which resulted in nausea a few hours after I took it every day. Switched to a pill with the same ingredients and same dosage and felt a lot better. Forget everything you know about generics when it comes to pills, I guess... But yes, not every pill makes you feel horrible, you just need to find one that is right for you. Not to mention some girls have to take them when they get their period very early on and very very strongly so they don't lose too much blood (pills can fix that).

Fruity Tree
Aug 14, 2010


M.C. McMic posted:

I don't dislike children, but I definitely don't have a natural ability to connect with them either. It's kind of awkward for me, but I'm working on it. I'm admittedly introverted, thoughtful and quiet, and I've found this is kind of off-putting to young kids. My nearly 3-year-old niece kinda watches me from afar with trepidation and curiosity because I'm usually the only one in the room that isn't constantly up in her face gushing over her.

Ha, I know what you mean. I just can't hold up a conversation with children (provided they can talk). I can't do the whole "oooooooh :O Let me see thaaat, what did you draw there, huuuuh? That's so prettyyy, good job. And what is this? Aaaah, I see!" because I'm just not that... emotional, I guess.
Little kids notice that, too. Whenever my friend's little sisters (6 and 4 or something) hug everyone goodbye when we go, they just kinda stop when it comes to me and stare up at me and I look down to them. They my friend just kind of pushes her towards me and is like "Come ooon, give her a huuuug!" and we hold each other awkwardly...

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Fruity Tree
Aug 14, 2010


Earwicker posted:

So don't talk to kids like that, talk to them like you would anyone else. I remember adults talking to me like that when I was a little kid and I hated it.

I've tried it, but I don't remember any kids liking it. Even then I wouldn't really know what to say to them. It's not like we share any interests and they don't seem very keen on talking to a generally silent girl like me anyway. Maybe I just don't see enough kids to know that it can work.

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