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Lezzie Borden
Jul 20, 2011


I feel a lot like the OP. I have a fear of pregnancy and childbirth. I get freaked out when I see obviously pregnant women. They really do make me anxious and uncomfortable and everything, pretty bad. I honestly don't understand the urge to have kids at all, and I mean that. The very idea of being pregnant has caused panic attacks before.

Now, babies. I don't particularly like them. Sometimes I'll smile at them and be happy if they smile back. That's sort of cute, but otherwise I don't understand them. No matter how many times people explain it, I still don't see any reason at all to have children. I also have really horrid sensory issues, so the shrieking, the smells, everything about babies is frightening and too much for me. There's the health issues thing too, mental health wise. Anything related to me is more likely than not to be crazy.

Good thing I'm a full out lesbian. But what if I got raped? That idea is terrifying to me.

Thing is, when people tell me that I was a child once, blah blah blah? Yeah. I was a little shithead, thanks. Demon child. I haven't seen any good argument yet.

If I ever do 'change my mind', I will adopt a child. I will never have a genetic child, because I think that I would cause serious harm to myself. And I cannot take myself off my medication. I'm going to have to take medication for the rest of my life, most likely.

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Lezzie Borden
Jul 20, 2011


MasBrillante posted:

I'm sorry but if seeing other people pregnant gives you anxiety, you're a nut. It's one thing to not want children, but some of you DO seem like there's more to it than that. Otherwise, I really don't get the insane fear of pregnancy or revulsion when you see children. Likewise, I don't get people who just sit around dreaming about procreating to the exclusion of any other dreams in life. In short, there's a lot of weirdos on both sides of the argument and a few of them in this thread.

Oh I already know I'm a nut. And it's not really too much revulsion, I just don't want to be near babies when they cry or smell, due to the sensory issues. I don't run away when I see a baby. I know the pregnancy phobia is an irrational fear, like fear of clowns.

Lezzie Borden
Jul 20, 2011


I am absolutely certain I will never have genetic kids. And I'm right on that. And I will always be. If I got pregnant, I would kill myself. And I mean that.

Lezzie Borden
Jul 20, 2011


But what about lesbians?

Lezzie Borden
Jul 20, 2011


Fascinator posted:

As a 30-year-old woman with little interest in having children, I really resent the implication that I'm incapable of making a committed choice about my own reproductive habits. But then I remember my best friend.

She was a lot like the OP. We've been friends since we were 19,and for the majority of that time, she hated pregnancy, babies, and children with an intensity that bordered on the pathological. She would do an about-face and leave if she walked into a store or restaurant and spotted a baby or toddler. She looked as though she was in physical pain when she had to be near a small child. She would literally feel nauseous at the mere sight of a pregnant woman in Target.

No, she never decided that she wanted to have a baby herself. But she fell in love with a divorced man with two children, a ten year old girl and a six-year-old autistic boy. She was very apprehensive about dating him because of this, but she quickly fell in love with those kids too, and though she sometimes finds weekends with them stressful, she adores them and is heavily involved in their upbringing and in autism advocacy. A few weeks ago she even posted angrily about someone who kept glaring at them when they were at the store and the boy was making too much noise.

But really OP, if you want to remain childless and he doesn't, you can't automatically assume that either of your opinions will change. They might, but they might not, and by the time you realize they haven't, it might be ten years from now. That's massively unfair to either of you.

A six year old and a ten year old aren't babies, and they aren't genetically hers. There's a huge difference there!

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Lezzie Borden
Jul 20, 2011


My mother is loving amazing. I had colic for 13 months. Still don't know how she didn't murder me.

Yes, I was a kid once. I still don't want them at all. I'll be okay with being an aunt. I was probably a huge brat as a child.

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