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John Galt is a French-Armenian populist modernizer tolerator.
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Dec 4, 2011 05:01
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 04:50 |
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theblastizard posted:John Galt is a French-Armenian populist modernizer tolerator. John Galt is a pseudonym of Pancrazio of Lombardia.
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Dec 4, 2011 05:11
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Enough about John "Nikon Pytheid" Galt. What I want to know is when we are finally going to stick it to Armenia. This Shura sucks. 
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Dec 4, 2011 05:14
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I considered suggesting an alliance with Bulgaria (who look like they have done consistently well for themselves), but I'm not really sure if an Azeri-Bulgar alliance would go off without a hitch. They're Orthodox Christians, correct? What's their personality so far (would they be willing to team up with an innovative Muslim power to destroy a common Orthodox enemy)? Oh, and are they actually going to be useful in a war with Armenia beyond taking Constantinople?
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Dec 4, 2011 05:18
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I've been calling for alliances with Thessalonica, Bulgaria and Rhodes so that we can gangbang Armenia 4 ways into next saturday for decades.
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Dec 4, 2011 05:21
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I told you assholes! I warned you of the path democracy would lead us to!
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Dec 4, 2011 05:24
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Raserys posted:I told you assholes! I warned you of the path democracy would lead us to! What we have right now is democracy in the same way that whales are squids. Sure, neither of them are fish, but that doesn't make them the same thing. At all. They do not even look similar.
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Dec 4, 2011 06:04
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paragon1 posted:What we have right now is democracy in the same way that whales are squids. Sure, neither of them are fish, but that doesn't make them the same thing. At all. They do not even look similar. Look at this. Look at this loving metaphor. You all said you wanted paragon1 to use more metaphors in his posts, and now look what we loving get. Are you happy now you pack of INBRED RETARD MOTHERFUCKING METAPHORNIKS!!!!1111!" ?? Because I hope you are, because this poo poo is what we have to put up with now because of your mental diarrhea washing over this thread. This is paragon's way of telling all of you rear end in a top hat reprobates who thought more metaphors would make this thread into some golden loving waxing lyrical cocksucking party to gouge your eyes out and die in shame. I for one am glad paragon1 has decided to ruin the rest of his own posts in order to teach us all this incredibly important life lesson.
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Dec 4, 2011 07:58
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Raserys posted:I told you assholes! I warned you of the path democracy would lead us to! You and me both.  Goons are secretly a bunch of authoritarians. Also, who on earth thought you'd get an enlightened democracy in the Middle East in 1630, when the Enlightenment wasn't even due to begin in the WEST until the 1650s anyway? (Nevermind that it took another 100 years for that to percolate enough to actually justify a government based on them)  Prediction: Next king wars with the Shura and we get an authoritarian liberal. We're too far from oppressed enough to actually have a proper Peasants' War.
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Dec 4, 2011 08:05
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This is a very strange derail, and I do not like the subject of it in the slightest. (PS Saurus, it is OK to be wrong on the Internet. It's OK.) Anyhow, the Shura might be somewhat reactionary, but at least they seem to be (mostly) doing a decent job at internal development, and the move towards diplomacy is promising as well. With any luck they'll set the stage for future reform on the sound foundation of a debt-free, well-developed nation with solid international friends.
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Dec 4, 2011 08:38
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I don't know about you guys, but I just wanted a noble republic because it seemed like a cool, plausible direction for the story  The last update was a bit dry, but I frankly like the change of pace for the narrative.
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Dec 4, 2011 11:01
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What's going on here? 
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Dec 4, 2011 11:12
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markus_cz posted:What's going on here? Goons being goons. I'll be updating again later today.
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Dec 4, 2011 11:17
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Wiz posted:Goons being goons. Hail Wiz, the Infallible. Verily, and I have a prophecy from above, yea, and I do declare that in his Infinite Wisdom the Programmer of the Mod shall bless us with a further Update. Hail and Glory be, for I, true interpreted of the Wizdom, have Seen the Signs and it Shall be so!
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Dec 4, 2011 11:45
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the JJ posted:Hail Wiz, the Infallible. Verily, and I have a prophecy from above, yea, and I do declare that in his Infinite Wisdom the Programmer of the Mod shall bless us with a further Update. Good thing we're not in Crete anymore, or we'd probably see a motion to convert to the Church of Sacred Wizdom.
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Dec 4, 2011 14:02
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Thanks for the update. I don't read the thread between updates and now I see why that's a good idea.
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Dec 4, 2011 14:44
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But all the pointless goon bickering is half the fun!
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Dec 4, 2011 15:16
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Goon bickering is fun when it's about Azerbaijan's future, not so much when it's meta-bitching about the LP itself. Yes, yes, this post warrants an 
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Dec 4, 2011 15:22
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I dunno, I enjoy reading even the meta-bitching, Saurus being Saurus and everyone else being mad at Saurus for being Saurus and all that stuff.
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Dec 4, 2011 15:31
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I am angry. ANGRY ABOUT SAURUSES
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Dec 4, 2011 16:31
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Bah. Wiz is a myth, a bunch of pseudoreligious nonsense made up to explain the self-perpetuation of the Let's Play. This Let's Play follows logical, deducible scientific laws which govern every aspect of its existence. Let us be rational, gentlemen!
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Dec 4, 2011 17:08
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AJ_Impy posted:Bah. Wiz is a myth, a bunch of pseudoreligious nonsense made up to explain the self-perpetuation of the Let's Play. This Let's Play follows logical, deducible scientific laws which govern every aspect of its existence. Let us be rational, gentlemen! Oh, and where did the LP come from then? What was there before the LP? Surely "In the beginning the OS was without tasks, and idle. Then Wiz said 'Let there be LP,' and there was LP" were not made up wholesale from nothing? True, you pure rationalists have you Big Boot Up theory, what was there before that? How did the universe boot? The only true explanation is magism, where Wiz booted the OS and began the LP with its immutable and knowable laws and then proceeded let things take their natural course without interference. Golden_Zucchini fucked around with this message at 17:58 on Dec 4, 2011 |
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Dec 4, 2011 17:56
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So Wiz is a clockmaker?
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Dec 4, 2011 18:17
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Viola the Mad posted:So Wiz is a clockmaker? Yes, but Swedish clocks come flatpacked with instructions.
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Dec 4, 2011 18:33
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I don't think we're properly able to answer the question if Wiz exists. On the one hand, we do not have any direct scientific evidence of Wiz's existence, but on the other hand, we cannot dismiss the possibility of Wiz's existence out of hand. One more important question I'm surprised nobody is raising is, is there an after-LP? Once the LP ends, what happens to us? Do we go on to an LP paradise, where the goons debate civilly, Wiz updates daily, and Azerbaijan becomes Sultan of Europe as the Wizzites say, or do we simply stop posting, and that's it? And, if there is an after-LP, what happens if we post well or shitpost, does that have an effect on it?
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Dec 4, 2011 19:00
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DrProsek posted:One more important question I'm surprised nobody is raising is, is there an after-LP? I think that there exists sufficient evidence of LPcarnation.
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Dec 4, 2011 19:03
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If you shitpost you go to helLP, where the only thing that waits you is endless arguments with Saurus between updates. And there are no updates.
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Dec 4, 2011 19:05
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YF-23 posted:If you shitpost you go to helLP, where the only thing that waits you is endless arguments with Saurus between updates. And there are no updates. But if you take this tribute away from me, I'll only have myself to argue with for the rest of eternity 
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Dec 4, 2011 19:35
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Heaven is finishing an LP, and basking in the glory. Hell is having no-one send in Legislative Summaries. I kid, of course. No I don't Also, I think we already determined a few dozen pages ago that if Wiz is Allah, I'm Muhammad. So, yeah, that's cool. Keep on keeping on dudes.
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Dec 4, 2011 19:39
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sniper4625 posted:Heaven is finishing an LP, and basking in the glory. Fine, fine, doing it now. A bunch of the icons around Chapter 3 and so are broken, though. Makes it a bit trickier to work out who's in which party sometimes, particularly the more laconic types who just vote and go.
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Dec 4, 2011 20:15
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I was about to say "quote em and see the code", but you can't do that anymore! Then I was going to say you should be able to cross-reference using my senate post on the first page, as that should have everyone, but people switch parties! So you'll have to just find one of my senate updates, I guess? I'll see what I can do. You're still a saint though.
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Dec 4, 2011 20:18
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The only sensible thing to do at this point is full commitment to making Azerbaijan a messy, unstable failed state. I suggest that we begin a grand tour of the different government types by transitioning to theocracy as soon as practical.
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Dec 4, 2011 20:46
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 Chapter 28: Tears and Ashes (1630 - 1640) The decade begins with another embassy to Persia, as the Shura continues to try and repair relations and work for a future alliance.  Building of barracks and regimental camps also continues unabated, strengthening Azerbaijan's manpower pool.  War and poor harvests have uprooted many peasants, who migrate to the cities in search of work to feed their families. Following complaints from the charitable Islamic organizations in Tabriz that they do not have the funding or manpower to handle so many new hungry immigrants, the Shura passes laws to restrict immigration into the cities.  In 1631, Armenia invades Trebizond, aiming to reconquer the territory they were forced to release in their last war with Azerbaijan, and the Shura sees itself forced to intervene to defend Azerbaijan's protectorate. The war pits Armenia and Bulgaria against Azerbaijan, Trebizond, Erzerum and Thessalonica.  The first battle of the war is a sea battle, the first ever fought by the Azeri navy, which defeats a Bulgarian fleet alongside their Trebizondian allies.  An Armenian army invades Trebizond, but are beaten back by Azeri reinforcements that rush up to bolster the small Trebizondian army.   Another Armenian army is defeated in Van, though in both cases the Armenians manage to retreat in good order as the Shura has left Qutaiba with strict instructions not to overextend himself by pushing into Armenian territory.  Egypt offers an alliance and the Shura accepts, bringing them into the war. Predictably enough they have little impact on the war from their distant position, occupying Crete and then peacing out.  The defensive fighting continues, with Armenian armies entering Trebizond or Erzerum and being beaten back each time.  In 1633 the war is deadlocked, with neither side unable to advance across the border.  On the other side of the Bosporus, Bulgaria has handily defeated Thessalonica and the Shura quickly moves to make peace and get the Bulgarians out of the war.  Qutaiba falls ill while campaigning and passes away in 1634. The Shura assembles to elect a Sultan, and quickly falls to arguing with itself, with many members in favor of electing a strong Sultan to lead the war, while others want another puppet so they can continue to run things themselves. In the end, the latter camp wins out, and the choice falls on one of their own: Özgür Muzaffar, the arrogant and incompetent Governor of Crimea. Like Qutaiba, he is forced to give up most of his power to the Shura, who get back to the business of running the war.   Thessalonica makes peace late in the same year, leaving Armenia free to direct all its military forces against Azerbaijan. Realizing its only a matter of time before Erzerum is overrun, the Shura pulls back its armies to Azerbaijan itself, preparing to fight another defensive campaign on home soil.  Once again, manpower is the primary issue, the reserves gone after five years of bloody fighting on the border.  Armenia occupies Erzerum and advances into Azerbaijan itself, occupying Georgia and sending a peace offer to Tabriz that demands that Azerbaijan release all of its lands outside Azerbaijan and Georgia.  The Shura's response to the offer of peace is a coordinated strike on the Armenian army occupying Georgia. The Armenians retreat to Imereti, where they are run to the ground and wiped out.  Before the Armenians even have time to recover, the Azerbaijani armies wheel around and attack an Armenian army besieging Tabriz, repeating the same feat of routing it into Imereti and wiping it out.  With all manpower now well and truly gone, the Shura consolidates the remaining regiments and begin to recruit mercenaries, repeating the same tactics used against the Persians.  The sudden loss of half the Armenian army triggers a declaration of war on Armenia by Persia, and with the Armenians now busy, Azeri forces begin to retake lost territories.  The Persian-Armenian war lasts only a few months, with the Persians occupying Dayr Az Zor and Hammah and taking them in the ensuing peace.  Despite these setbacks, the Armenians refuse to accept any reasonable peace offer, insisting on demands that are simply unacceptable to the Shura. So the war continues, with neither side unable to end it, and nothing to show for it except tears and ashes.  As the year rolls around to 1640, the Shura convenes to try and find a way to end the devastating conflict with the Armenians. Since diplomacy has failed, the talk naturally turns to tactics and strategy. The Azerbaijani army has performed well tactically, winning most of the battles where the enemy did not have a major numerical advantage, but the lack of manpower and the many defeats suffered by its legion of small allies means that the Shura has been unable to turn its tactical victories into strategic advantages.   The Shura is near-unanimous in agreeing that the problem of Azerbaijan's strategic weakness is one that has a military solution, but opinions differ on what form this military solution should take. The most simple solution to the constant manpower problems would seem to be expanding the recruiting system and the military service years imposed on the general population, but others feel that Azerbaijan will never have enough manpower to win a war of attrition and that the Azeri army should capitalize on its existing strengths, forcing the Armenians to the peace table through crushing battlefield victories.  When voting, use one of the following three icons to indicate which option you prefer    code: Option B: Battlefield Commissions  Option C: Military Drill   
Wiz fucked around with this message at 21:42 on Dec 4, 2011 |
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Dec 4, 2011 21:32
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This is the only forward-looking solution that addresses not only the present, but also the future. (Is it intentional that options B and C seem to be the same?)
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Dec 4, 2011 21:38
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So Zhen is eating China. And Qurighar still continues to own.
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Dec 4, 2011 21:39
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Aren't we losing the war? We have high War Exhaustion, the odds are in the Armenian favor, and they are not demanding territory that was historically Azeri. It seems obvious they are the ones who are offering reasonable demands, and we are refusing. Besides, can't we slowly get these newly independent states into our sphere of influence later on? Polite Request that the Shura attempt to negotiate with Armenia rather than drag more peasants to die
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Dec 4, 2011 21:40
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. Also the picture for battlefield commissions is also under C. no wait you fixed it
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Dec 4, 2011 21:41
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Those ideas seem messed up in several ways. You flipped Miltary Drill and National Conscripts, and National Conscripts seems to do the same thing as Battlefield Commisions.
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Dec 4, 2011 21:41
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Servant posted:Aren't we losing the war? We have high War Exhaustion, the odds are in the Armenian favor, and they are not demanding territory that was historically Azeri. It seems obvious they are the ones who are offering reasonable demands, and we are refusing. Besides, can't we slowly get these newly independent states into our sphere of influence later on? Their army is weaker than ours. One more decisive battle can destroy them utterly.
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Dec 4, 2011 21:42
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Only by gathering enough elusive 6-star generals can the Shura be sure of victory.
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Dec 4, 2011 21:43
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