Islam is the Light: Azerbaijan Paradox Mega-LP

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Islam is the Light: Azerbaijan Paradox Mega-LP

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Kavak: Aug 23, 2009

We are... significantly less doomed than I thought we were.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 00:05

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 17:56

Munin: Nov 14, 2004

Is Georgia particularly rich compared to Azerbaijan? They seem to have roughly the same number of provinces as us.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 00:11

AJ_Impy: Jun 17, 2007; SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?; Yam Slacker

Our Sultan adheres to the true faith, and consequently the infidel is pushed back. The harlot queen who defiles the holy city and the rapacious georgians are powerful, but none are greater than the one with whom we have placed our faith. Be strong, each and every Azeri! we will see the word of the Prophet upon the lips of the people from here to beyond the farthest horizon!

# ? Aug 8, 2011 00:11

Wiz: May 16, 2004; Nap Ghost

Munin posted:

Is Georgia particularly rich compared to Azerbaijan? They seem to have roughly the same number of provinces as us.

It's richer, but mostly they just have a much higher stewardship ruler and don't need to rely on scutage on stay solvent (high scutage reduces armies you can raise). Plus I keep getting hit with smallpox in my demesne provinces.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 00:12

V. Illych L.: Apr 11, 2008; ASK ME ABOUT LUMBER

I like this ruler. He seems like a nice chap.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 02:05

Popy: Feb 19, 2008

All your best rulers die early, while the bad ones stay alive for like 80 loving years.

CK is a frustrating game.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 02:18

Blarghalt: May 19, 2010

As it has been since time began, your greatest general will always choke to death on an olive pit, thousands of miles away from the front lines.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 02:22

Deep Dish Fuckfest: Sep 6, 2006; Advanced
Computer Touching; Toilet Rascal

Popy posted:

All your best rulers die early, while the bad ones stay alive for like 80 loving years.

CK is a frustrating game.

Also valid for Europa Universalis. All I want is someone with Admin 4, is that so much to ask that you die before 85, Charles II?

As an unrelated fun fact, typing "inbred spanish king" in google returns the wikipedia page for Charles II as the first result. Useful if you ever forget the guy's name.

EDIT: As does "inbred king", apparently! Now that's a reputation.

Deep Dish Fuckfest fucked around with this message at 02:27 on Aug 8, 2011

# ? Aug 8, 2011 02:24

Munin: Nov 14, 2004

YeOldeButchere posted:

Also valid for Europa Universalis. All I want is someone with Admin 4, is that so much to ask that you die before 85, Charles II?

As an unrelated fun fact, typing "inbred spanish king" in google returns the wikipedia page for Charles II as the first result. Useful if you ever forget the guy's name.

EDIT: As does "inbred king", apparently! Now that's a reputation.

Well, all you need to do is to take one look at his family tree. It's difficult to beat short of having siblings marrying each other.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 02:34

Jimmy4400nav: Apr 1, 2011; Ambassador to Moonlandia

Popy posted:

All your best rulers die early, while the bad ones stay alive for like 80 loving years.

CK is a frustrating game.

YeOldeButchere posted:

Also valid for Europa Universalis. All I want is someone with Admin 4, is that so much to ask that you die before 85, Charles II?

As an unrelated fun fact, typing "inbred spanish king" in google returns the wikipedia page for Charles II as the first result. Useful if you ever forget the guy's name.

EDIT: As does "inbred king", apparently! Now that's a reputation.

That's why in these games, I try for some kind of elective government as soon as possible, best case, you get an awesome ruler who sticks around for twenty years. Worst case, you get a crappy ruler who you boot after four or eight years.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 02:40

Frionnel: May 7, 2010; Friends are what make testing worth it.

Wiz posted:

(...)Sufi mysticism, (...)

Finally, a Sultan that sees the truth of Islam. Worry not, fellows, for now Azerbaijan shall have the protection of Allah.

Frionnel fucked around with this message at 03:40 on Aug 8, 2011

# ? Aug 8, 2011 03:36

Rejected Fate: Aug 5, 2011

Frionnel posted:

Finally, a Sultan that sees the truth of Islam. Worry not, fellows, for now Azerbaijan shall have the protection of Allah.

I wonder what practises our beloved Sultan does to get closer to Allah.

...Can it be singing? Singing is best. Or music. Dancing too is acceptable.

Party Azerbaijan :dance:

# ? Aug 8, 2011 03:57

Patter Song: Mar 26, 2010; Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.; Fun Shoe

Sufi stuff is pretty awesome, but it has some weird-rear end variants. I hope this guy turns out to be one of those Sufis that drinks(!) and smokes pot to get closer to Allah.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 04:31

Archduke Frantz Fanon: Sep 7, 2004

Man the Mongols are gonna feel silly when they show up and the middle east is full of Christians.

They'll still probably try to kill everyone, but it'll be weird.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 05:00

Ogianres: Oct 21, 2008

Archduke Frantz Fanon posted:

Man the Mongols are gonna feel silly when they show up and the middle east is full of Christians.

They'll still probably try to kill everyone, but it'll be weird.

Who knows? Maybe they conquer the middle east then convert to christianity. That'd be weird (is this something that can happen?

# ? Aug 8, 2011 05:09

lonelywurm: Aug 10, 2009

Ogianres posted:

Who knows? Maybe they conquer the middle east then convert to christianity. That'd be weird (is this something that can happen?

The non-Wiz Paradox mega-LP in the archive has a powerful Jerusalem, and he had a couple Mongol waves die off as their leaders converted to Christianity.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 05:15

Fister Roboto: Feb 21, 2008

Frionnel posted:

Finally, a Sultan that sees the truth of Islam. Worry not, fellows, for now Azerbaijan shall have the protection of Allah.

I slam, you slam, we all slam for Islam!

What does the Koran say about moneylending?

# ? Aug 8, 2011 05:21

Patter Song: Mar 26, 2010; Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.; Fun Shoe

DocFrance posted:

What does the Koran say about moneylending?

Allah hates interest on loans. Great news for the borrower, not so great for the lender.

Islamic banks get around that by not charging interest, but charging colossal fees instead.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 05:43

Cardinal Ximenez: Oct 25, 2008; "You could call it heroic responsibility, maybe," Harry Potter said. "Not like the usual sort. It means that whatever happens, no matter what, it's always your fault."

DocFrance posted:

What does the Koran say about moneylending?

Generally, it's pretty bad, and has remained so, unlike in the West.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 05:46

Xerophyte: Mar 17, 2008; This space intentionally left blank

YeOldeButchere posted:

EDIT: As does "inbred king", apparently! Now that's a reputation.

You'd think the Ptolemies would be a shoe-in for that title, but clearly one shouldn't underestimate royalty's continued capacity for screwing themselves.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 05:59

Servant: Aug 3, 2010; ... so you see, following that the will of the People cannot be reasonably interpreted down to the individual level, a legitimate government should operate purely through coin-flips...

I was about to say. You can't really go out and cheer on Azerbaijan's sorta-triumph for Islam when loans had to be taken out to fund it. People really are going to roll their eyes.

Luckily, it was only the Council who authorized those loans, so they're going to Hell and not the Sufi King of Azerbaijan*. When/if our country goes spiraling towards having no money in the treasury, our religious Sufi King will obviously reject these interest-bearing loans and pay off the debt through the tired and true method of selling off all his buildings.

...right?

_{*Even though said Sufi King loses Piety and not said mysterious Council...that artificial distinction between fluff and gameplay...}

# ? Aug 8, 2011 06:01

Fister Roboto: Feb 21, 2008

The Sultan allowed the Council to commit such impious acts without having them properly punished. Would Allah look kindly on this permissiveness?

# ? Aug 8, 2011 06:28

Rejected Fate: Aug 5, 2011

DocFrance posted:

The Sultan allowed the Council to commit such impious acts without having them properly punished. Would Allah look kindly on this permissiveness?

Hmm. This will surely require repentance in the form of a massive effort to gain closeness with Allah.

In traditional Sufi manner, we shall have to call in our Sultan and his Council to attend a massive display of dance and music in an act of dhikr and sema.

:sigh:

The things we do for religion

# ? Aug 8, 2011 06:54

Nut to Butt: Apr 13, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Rejected Fate posted:

In traditional Sufi manner, we shall have to call in our Sultan and his Council to attend a massive display of dance and music in an act of dhikr and sema.

No, the ballet died with Suebia.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 07:20

Frionnel: May 7, 2010; Friends are what make testing worth it.

That's a lie spread by the enemies of Allah. What really happened was that the sultan prayed for gold, and thus Allah gave it to his disciple.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 07:29

Patter Song: Mar 26, 2010; Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.; Fun Shoe

You're looking at it the wrong way, I think. Clearly the Jewish moneylenders that lent the Kingdom the cash are going to roast alongside Iblis for a while, but our King just needs to redeem himself by expanding the House of Islam into the House of Jahiliyyah and repelling the Mary-venerating Christian heretics' "Crusade" with a Jihad the likes of which the world has never known. Surely Allah will not condemn his faithful for acquiring the necessary funding to accomplish his will.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 07:52

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Frionnel posted:

That's a lie spread by the enemies of Allah. What really happened was that the sultan prayed for gold, and thus Allah gave it to his disciple.

This, a thousand times this.

Oh, the game might say there were loans, but really the gold simply appeared. Any "interest" is simply due to the pious Azerbaijani ruler financing religious artwork and gifts to the imams out of the state treasury.

"Loans." Hah! Unbeliever dogs!

# ? Aug 8, 2011 09:11

Fister Roboto: Feb 21, 2008

What is life but a loan from God? He surely expects it to be repaid in full.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 09:37

markus_cz: May 10, 2009

Nice to see the thread is already getting senatized

# ? Aug 8, 2011 11:07

Rarity: Oct 21, 2010; ~*4 LIFE*~

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

This, a thousand times this.

Oh, the game might say there were loans, but really the gold simply appeared. Any "interest" is simply due to the pious Azerbaijani ruler financing religious artwork and gifts to the imams out of the state treasury.

"Loans." Hah! Unbeliever dogs!

Any attempts to claim otherwise are laughable, and those moneylenders we sent to the dungeons last week are a complete coincidence!

# ? Aug 8, 2011 12:00

gradenko_2000: Oct 5, 2010; HELL SERPENT; Lipstick Apathy

Munin posted:

Well, all you need to do is to take one look at his family tree. It's difficult to beat short of having siblings marrying each other.

This is actually a great strategy to do in pre-DV CK, where the stats of a child were always influenced by their parents. You'd marry off your son to a high stat wife from anywhere, marry your daughter to a high-start husband in your court, then you have their respective children marry each other on and on as you breed a race of super-men. As long as your daughter now has a different last name from her husband, it doesn't count as incest!

# ? Aug 8, 2011 13:56

Tomn: Aug 23, 2007; And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands

Oh, drat, I forgot, I've been neglecting my duties, haven't I? No doubt this is why we suffered defeat in battle. Call to prayer, right.

أوه ، يأتي، وجميع المؤمنين انتم ،
بهيجة ومنتصرا!
أوه ، يأتي انتم، يا أيها يأتي إلى بيت لحم؛
هوذا يأتي ومعه
ولد ملك الملائكة :

جوقة :
أوه ، يأتي، دعونا أعشق له ،
أوه ، يأتي، دعونا أعشق له ،
أوه ، يأتي، دعونا أعشق له ،
الله الرب.

_{_{_{_{I tried using Turkish, but I figured there'd be less chance of the game being given away immediately with Arabic.}}}}

# ? Aug 8, 2011 14:02

sebzilla: Mar 17, 2009; Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.

^ The hymn's mysterious origins revealed!

# ? Aug 8, 2011 15:09

Flavius Aetass: Mar 30, 2011

sebzilla posted:

^ The hymn's mysterious origins revealed!

Atlar seviyorum. T�m hayvanların. Ben atları �ok seviyorum. Onlar arkadaşlarım.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 16:26

Cowcatcher: Dec 23, 2005; OUR PEOPLE WERE BORN OF THE SKY

It's not the Council, it's the Divan people

# ? Aug 8, 2011 16:53

Shroud: May 11, 2009

Tomn posted:

Oh, drat, I forgot, I've been neglecting my duties, haven't I? No doubt this is why we suffered defeat in battle. Call to prayer, right.

أوه ، يأتي، وجميع المؤمنين انتم ،
بهيجة ومنتصرا!
أوه ، يأتي انتم، يا أيها يأتي إلى بيت لحم؛
هوذا يأتي ومعه
ولد ملك الملائكة :

جوقة :
أوه ، يأتي، دعونا أعشق له ،
أوه ، يأتي، دعونا أعشق له ،
أوه ، يأتي، دعونا أعشق له ،
الله الرب.

_{_{_{_{I tried using Turkish, but I figured there'd be less chance of the game being given away immediately with Arabic.}}}}

What is this?

# ? Aug 8, 2011 17:06

lonelywurm: Aug 10, 2009

Shroud posted:

What is this?

Google translate suggests it is O Come, All Ye Faithful.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 17:08

Shroud: May 11, 2009

Thanks - I knew my Arabic was bad, but I was going googly-eyed trying to figure that one out.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 17:13

YF-23: Feb 17, 2011; My god, it's full of cat!

Patter Song posted:

Sufi stuff is pretty awesome, but it has some weird-rear end variants. I hope this guy turns out to be one of those Sufis that drinks(!) and smokes pot to get closer to Allah.

Can someone give a quick rundown on the biggest differences of Sufism with mainstream Islam? I'm not sure why but I always thought of Sufis as Muslim hippies for some reason.

_{This page has only reinforced that thought.}

# ? Aug 8, 2011 18:41

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 17:56

Ras Het: May 23, 2007; when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child - but now I am a man.

Does CK distinguish between Sunni and Shia? If yes, which one are you, if not, which one will you pick in EU3?

e: oops, missed it. OK.

# ? Aug 8, 2011 18:42

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Islam is the Light: Azerbaijan Paradox Mega-LP

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