Islam is the Light: Azerbaijan Paradox Mega-LP

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Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Extremely bad reputation isn't necessarily that bad. Doling out a lot of land and titles combined with some trickery and tactical smackdowns of rebellious vassals can turn your badboy score around surprisingly fast.

Then again, gaming the system would not be amusing, so I hope everything disintegrates in a massive orgy of blood and death.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2011 10:40

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 07:48

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

NihilCredo posted:

Man, all this Mongol warfare talk just made me reinstall Medieval 2 TW + Stainless Steel.

Wait, whose blood would the archer drink? Could a mare be bled enough to sustain a man without collapsing?

A mid-sized horse has about 35-40 litres of blood in its body, so you can tap out a fair bit without affecting it overly much. Blood is also hella nutritious, so you don't have to drink a whole lot of it in order to survive.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2011 13:46

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

1stGear posted:

I like how after generations of Ildeguzid men, hopping all around the eastern Mediterranean, and hundreds of thousands of commoners killed to satisfy the pride and greed of the nobility, we are essentially right back where we started.

This is the best game.

Welcome to european warfare circa 1200-1800. That's pretty much how the vast majority of wars went before the age of mass conscription and total war.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2011 08:40

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Pure Kamikaze posted:

This thread is going to end up creating skynet by reprograming all paradox games into the ultimate war simulator.

Hopefully it'll end up in some kinda War Games scenario where the rampaging AI realizes that the only way to win a Paradox game is to not play.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2011 07:24

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

The Black Plague is basically CK's way of saying "Hey, so gently caress you then."

That and the mongols, yes. It's a nice one-two punch in the balls if you're in the eastern part of the map.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2011 13:26

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

1) NO
2) YES
3) YES
4) YES
5) NO

# ¿ Aug 20, 2011 14:28

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Frionnel posted:

Maybe he sailed southeast into Australia

And returned a couple of years later with his Mongol Horde mounted on giant Kangaroos :science:

# ¿ Aug 22, 2011 19:10

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Wiz posted:

It's a bit of work. What I've done is create a special tag with their own tech group, culture group etc. They start with a province extremely far away from everyone else, and their tech group has visibility of all seazones in the game (done by manually editing all seazone history files).

To get rid of pirates everywhere I give them this modifier, which gives them patrol range across the entire world:
code:
pirate_patrols = {
	potential = {
		tag = PI2
	}
	trigger = {
		tag = PI2
	}
	range = 1000
	global_revolt_risk = -100
	colonists = -100
	spies = -100
	merchants = -100
	officials = -100
	diplomats = -100
	land_maintenance_modifier = -0.5
	naval_maintenance_modifier = -0.5	
	icon = 1
}
I use a number of events and decisions to make sure noone annexes (or plays) them, that they have no diplomats (so they don't get allied with everyone) and I also exclude them from all CBs.

Couldn't you just put pirates in their own techgroup with some absurdly slow tech growth? IIRC, at least in older versions, pirates don't appear until they've reached Naval Tech 9 (i.e. can blockade), so if they never do so in the timeframe of the game, they don't appear at all.

# ¿ Sep 7, 2011 11:43

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Kainser posted:

^^^That sounds cool as well.

It's mainly that I think really static areas of the map (like Iceland ends up being 90% of the time) are pretty boring. It makes total sense though obviously what with Iceland being really isolated and there not being any particular reason to own the place beyond prestige. And Iceland would for obvious reasons (really small population even for a 2 province minor) not be much of an expanding power.

Maybe add a mission for Norway to conquer Iceland which they can get if they have more than X provinces in North America or something? That could be something for Victoria 2 with it's imperialism anyway if Norway retains an empire.

If history went anything like OTL, Iceland should have collapsed utterly from vicious cycles of blood feuds long ago. IIRC the nobles of Iceland themselves asked the King of Norway to rule over them because they were sick and tired of the continuous murder sprees that started up as soon as somebody looked funny at sonebody else.

Also the Prophet has commanded the warriors of Islam to bring the true faith to the Romans, and being one of the few faithful powers that are in position to work towards this goal, our path is set. Let's tolerate the gently caress out of the greeks.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2011 11:34

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Norway should start out with some kinda super-pagan religion with a shitload of bonuses and they should get the decisions to invent black metal (+10 cultural tradition, +10 prestige, +10 military tradition) and a provincial decision to burn down the churches in any christian province they conquer, thus instantly converting said province.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2011 12:04

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Better to have Russia stomp on some chumps in the east than to stomp on Glorious Azerbaijan in the south.

Also Death To Armenia, etc.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2012 02:36

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Patter Song posted:

So we're feudal Japan?

I'm getting the impression that we're going with some kinda bastard version of classic Confucian ideals, so somewhat close.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2012 19:38

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

As for expansion, The Prophet (pbuh) commanded his followers to bring Islam to the Romans, but I say that the Armenians are a fine substitute.

Basically I just want to tolerate the gently caress out of them bastards.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2012 11:38

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Ha, we tolerated the bloody gently caress out of those Armenians. Finally Glorious Azerbaijan has returned to the halcyon days of old when Azeri armies crushed all that stood before them.

As for the vote:

I think that getting inflation under control is the most important thing right now. Our Anatolian conquests should shore up our econmic base, but inflation can wreck an economy of any size.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2012 10:45

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Buildings are almost always better in the long term. They crank up your income, and manufactories boost tech as well (admittedly not so much in the lategame, but still).

And again, Smithian Economics can be taken later. We still should have at least two more NI:s before the game's over, but inflation is going to make literally everything more and more expensive unless we do something about it right now.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2012 17:39

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

This timeline's France is pretty much going to be OTL Germany, isn't it?

It'll be interesting to see what Germany itself is going to end up as.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2012 19:45

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

The regular armenian has simply languished under an intolerant and evil leadership. He is not to blame for the actions of his rulers, and he can be made a neighbourly and tolerant subject of the Sultan.

Those Armenian rulers though? It's time to tolerate them so hard their ancestors who burn in hell will feel it and long back to the time when hellfire was all they had to worry about.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2012 23:50

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

The Saurus posted:

Actually...The Armenian leadership were way more tolerant than us, they focussed on it for their national ideas.

What is this historical revisionism I hear? Azerbaijan has always been the most tolerant nation on Allah's green earth, and if you disagree then we're willing to demonstrate just how hard a person can be tolerated.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2012 00:03

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

The Saurus posted:

Ah, so you agree that we must wipe out the perdiferous Armenians forever because of their claim to be more tolerant than us! Glad you came round.

Now that is not neighbourly at all. Besides, if we wipe out the Armenians, who will we have left to tolerate?

# ¿ Jan 9, 2012 00:19

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Unfortunately we've shifted the regional balance of power too much by crippling Armenia. Either Azerbaijan or Bulgaria will almost certainly take over western Anatolia, and I'd rather see us spreading harmony and tolerance to the greeks rather than the unneighbourly Bulgarians running roughshod over the poor things.

# ¿ Jan 10, 2012 13:49

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

cwDeici posted:

Yes, I agree with those who think Burgundy has taken on the qualities of France more than France itself and that a union tag should be under Burgundy and not France, same as if Austria or Prussia had managed to conquer rather than unite all Germans, especially if the Burgundians outnumber the Cosmopolitans by the time it happens (forming France in EU3 also makes Ile de France your state culture, which helps in that area).

That still doesn't make much sense. Burgundy is only a small part of France, just like Prussia is only a small part of Germany. As we're dealing with a monarchical power structure anybody who would assert a rightful claim to the lands outside Burgundy/Prussia would have to do so through another title, e.g. the King of Prussia also was the Prince-Elector of Brandenburg as well as a boatload of other titles.

In the current situation this would mean that the King of Burgundy would probably also be the Duke of whatever other lands he controls, but would certainly also lay claim on the crown of France in order to legitimize his rule over territories outside of the traditional Burgundian heartland. This would result in a different France than the historical one, but still France nonetheless.

Also, as mentioned, the Crown of France was considered hella prestigeous. If the Crown of Burgundy is the Hope Diamond of medieval bling, the Crown of France is the goddamn Star of Africa.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2012 13:15

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Reveilled posted:

The Crown of France was considered hella prestigious. Was being the operative word. We're dealing with a world where France died so hard that it actually got incorportated into the Holy Roman Empire. Would the King of Burgundy claim also to be the King of France? Yeah, probably, though the idea that monarchical power stuructures have to assert claims through titles is shaky at this point and is only going to get more so as we progress into the age of nationalism. But would he claim to be the King of France first, and the King of Burgundy second? That's by no means an obvious "yes", not when Burgundy has its own centuries of prestige behind it as the prime military power on the continent. And in addition to that, are people going to accept that Burgundy actually has a claim to the title and actually call it France when the French crown is one of the crowns of the Holy Roman Emperor?

So? The Roman Empire also died so hard that it ceased to exist as a political entity in western Europe. Didn't stop everybody who was somebody to try and link themselves with Rome.

Now, France is a smaller fish for sure, but the same thing applies. In fact I would imagine that the King of Burgundy has already claimed the crown of France at this point, but the claim isn't universally recognized.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2012 16:17

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Yess, maximum tolerance.

And to go back to World War 1-chat for a while, let me present the best summary I've ever seen of the causes of World War 1.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2012 18:23

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Look at that tolerance. We're actully the good guys this time :unsmith:

Also it's hilarious how Azerbaijan has a state of the art government and army, but every other tech lags 100 years behind.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2012 13:04

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Welp, there goes the neighbourhood.

And when I say neighbourhood, I mean the goddamn world.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2012 20:44

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Welp, we're boned.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2012 21:17

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Snipee posted:

The Daei dynasty is just ridiculous. If we successfully defeat Russia, then we have had an unbroken line of ubermensch going back for centuries.

Imagine the future internet Azeris waxing lyrical over ol' Tunga if Azerbaijan actually pulls this poo poo off.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2012 21:39

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Servant posted:

What I don't get is why the army is following the Daei monarch at this point. It is possible the Azeri army might triumph, but it is also possible it might be squashed, and the generals know that. And losing doesn't just mean losing a couple provinces, it means possible revolution at home and an overthrow of the entire system.

It's more plausible for the army to march in Baku, murder Tunga, and declare a Republican Dictatorship than let this dumb King basically destroy everything they have created. The army has dominated Azerbaijan for so long that they can dispense with the figurehead and rule directly.

I'm kinda hoping for something like this, actually.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2012 21:42

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Tsar of the Komintern is the second most balla rear end title ever right after the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2012 23:43

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Wiz, will you model the historically accurate fact that Bulgarian armies were immune to attrition in Vicky 2? It is well known that the men of Bulgaria can survive on sunlight and rainwater alone and thrive in temperatures as low as -50 C.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2012 00:01

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Dibujante posted:

I live somewhere where it's -50C

It's actually hella miserable and I'm astounded that armies have marched in weather as cold as -30. You stop being able to feel your parts.

Indeed. Only the men of Glorious Bulgaria can do battle in such circumstances, lesser men are relegated into a supporting role of freezing to death.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2012 00:11

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Pirate Hunters is the best country to play as. Avast!

# ¿ Jan 30, 2012 16:11

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

A Tartan Tory posted:

I god I take it all back, the Japanese minors don't have the nationalism Casus Belli against each other and every single one gets a Casus Belli against the Ikko-Ikki only.

Naw, just ally with some semi-big daimyo to cover your flanks and make sure to eat up all the minors on Kyushu and Shikoku at the earliest opportunity.

After that it's just a matter of having the biggest fleet around and you've got yourself a nice, big fortess to safely expand from.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2012 23:23

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

A Renaissance Nerd posted:

Jesus Christ, is there a good French minor to start with? I want to reform France, and I've tried both Anjou and Valois, but both times nothing seemed to happen. I got up to 1500 in both without a single Mission to attack another minor, the only wars I were in I wasn't the leader, so I couldn't even take land from the other minors. I tried using Claims to get other minors in personal unions, but I didn't get a CB from it, and consequently I lost every Claim I laid.

Should I just scrap both games and go for a larger minor like Gascony or Toulouse?

Gascony is workable. I'm having a quite good game right now, and I'm halfway to forming France.

Burgundy is an absolyte bastard to try and fight though. Luckily I snagged an alliance with Italy, which helps a lot.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2012 12:05

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

This is more of a minor gripe than anything else, but I'm currently playing a Qing dynasty game (started as the mongols) and it seems that Qing's map colour for the political mapmode and Qing's flag seem to be the same colour (or at least very close), and it makes it kinda hard to see where my armies are.

Basically, would it be possible to change Qing's map colour into a bit darker shade of blue?

# ¿ Feb 6, 2012 21:48

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

RabidWeasel posted:

I thought it was all Christians, but Russia and Byzantium get made into emperors for free when they make their nation-forming decision, and anyone owning Constantinople can become an Emperor even if the HRE exists.

I really think that this restriction should only apply to catholic nations. For historical context, Henry VIII actually declared that the English Crown was an imperial crown in the Act of Supremacy in 1534, so there's historical precedent for this.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2012 13:11

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

A sexy submarine posted:

Convert it to Steppe Wolf

This is clearly the only correct answer.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2012 09:11

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

You see, Genghis never wanted to conquer the world, he just wanted to see the magnificence of Old Bulgaria with his own eyes, but there just was too much poo poo in the way and so he died while trying to get there.

Now, had he been smart about it he would have sent message to the King of Bulgaria whose armies could have swept away everything between Bulgaria and mongolia effortlessly if they wanted to.

# ¿ May 8, 2012 12:26

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Dr. Tough posted:

I don't get it. What's the point of having two different cities in the same place? That sounds like a massive pain in the rear end.

Are you joking or are you really demanding a realistic plot and setting from a sci-fi novel?

# ¿ May 9, 2012 22:40

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 07:48

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Icecream Jones posted:

Things we also learned: don't build buildings, otherwise you'll get a sweet crash. EDIT: Also, Bulgarians now suffer attrition.

Steppe Wolfe, how could you? :negative:

# ¿ Aug 17, 2012 12:17

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