Crappy Construction: The Four POs of the Housepocalypse

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Hobbies, Crafts, & Houses > Crappy Construction: The Four POs of the Housepocalypse

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Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

duz posted:

My parent's house is like that since it wasn't originally a bathroom. They put curtains and Venetian blinds in the window. That house had a bunch of weird things going on thanks to the prior owner being a "handyman".

I had that problem with my bathroom in my last house.

But the local hardware store had "spray frosting" which turned the glass white and was pretty cool. Lasted the whole time I was living there, so about 5 years, with no problems.

# ¿ Aug 3, 2018 06:27

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 16:24

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Solar Coaster posted:

Hahaha that is amazing!

I actually just closed on my house 4 weeks ago. The listing stated a "one car garage".

This garage is wired for 120v and 240v, and is plumbed and ready for a heated floor.

As someone who lives on the edge of a desert - what's the point of a heated floor in a garage?

# ¿ Aug 4, 2018 15:35

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

peanut posted:

3 bedrooms. 3 kitchens. 10 bathrooms. 8 dishwashers.

Multiple bathrooms I get. Multiple kitchens, though :wtf:

Also 3 kitchens but 8 dishwashers? Where are the extra 5 dishwashers?

Does every second bathroom have a dishwasher?

Don't mind me honey, just washing me dishes while I'm taking a poo poo, here!

# ¿ Aug 8, 2018 06:12

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Five years from now that's going to feature in a really unpleasant dream and I'm going to have no idea where such a horrifying idea came from as I wake up in a cold sweat.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2018 15:56

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Splicer posted:

Apparently doorless bathroom inside the kitchen.

Seems legit.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2018 17:26

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Reminds me of that Japanese house built in a spiral where the bathroom was halfway up and you had to walk past the shitter to get to the main room.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2018 06:54

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Yeah, that Mythbusters episode really made me respect my water heaters a hell of a lot more.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2018 09:32

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

So, you're saying I should drop more brass screws?

I would never do this. I put myself through uni working retail and, 20 years later, still find myself fronting and facing poo poo when I'm in a store

# ¿ Aug 31, 2018 06:14

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Jaded Burnout posted:

I can't tell for sure even if I'm holding it up to a ruler.

Legit one of the best thing I've ever bought:

Poke poo poo through the holes until it looks like it fits good :thumbsup:

# ¿ Aug 31, 2018 19:08

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

That house is so bad, looking at the first picture, I was going to accuse you of being sucked in by a bad render.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2018 06:42

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Senor P. posted:

On another topic, what about garage doors that open horizontally?
(I thought it was cool. The sliding panel ones.)

I really like inventive uses for garage doors.

H110Hawk posted:

It's me, I'm the previous owner.

See this lovely louvered window that doesn't close all the way and lets in critters? Well I finally got around to doing something about it.

Hey, me too. Mine was actually missing the top bit of glass. Getting a new bit cut to size was going to actually cost money because my house was built in the 1950s and there's not a single standard sized thing in it. Even the bedroom doors are different widths, ffs.

But I just used a 1m x 1m clear polycarbonate sheet so it would still let in light. Some foam weatherstripping and roofing screws and it was good to go

Now I just need to dust, sweep and clean out all the poo poo that's blown into my garage over the past few years.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2018 05:28

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

gvibes posted:

An Olson Kundig project, I believe.

They have one where an entire glass wall slides like 25 feet out - https://www.olsonkundig.com/projects/berkshire-residence/

Whoah, do not open that on a windy day!

# ¿ Sep 5, 2018 17:43

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Was at a friend's house this morning and spotted this thing in the ceiling:

Firstly, yes, the ceiling really is that pink and the walls are orange. The whole house is like that. He's renting, and the price is really good for the area, so he's pretty much stuck with it.

I asked him what the thing was, he had no idea. Said it's for letting ceiling space dust in. Also, spiders.

So, obvious guess is some kind of vent. But why?

The house was built in the 1950s in south eastern Australia, so it's not HVAC and there's no filter or anything above it. It really seems to be there just to rain down a slow but steady stream of dust and spiders.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2018 10:57

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Ebola Dog posted:

They are known as carriage driveways for exactly this reason. Makes sense for old rich people as you guests won't be driving their own carriage so they can be driven right up to the door for the party and then the driver can just carry on to wherever they wait. Because rich people used to have them they have stuck on because that's what rich people have even if the reason for their existence doesn't apply anymore.

Same reason lush green lawns are so popular in America even where they are not suited to the local environment. Wealthy Europeans had nice big lawns so wealthy Americans wanted them and were initially the only people who could afford to keep them. Then when they became more affordable people wanted them because that's what wealthy people did and they wanted to look more wealthy.

This is also the logic behind every stupid design decision in Australia.

What would Europe do?

Well, really it's more What would Europe do 300 years ago?

Steep sloped roofs with little overhang to get rid of snow? Not useful in a desert. Also, no overhang means the sun shines directly on the sides of the house causing your house to turn into an oven.

Lawns. Waterfeatures. Gardens made from European plants. Things which require tonnes of water and are incredibly stupid in a country which is 90% desert.

Even cars aren't immune. Pity every poor fool who buys a car with a moon roof. A great idea if you're buying during the colder months, but when summer hits and the temperature gets to 45� you are going to burn.

Every car, even those built here, has the European style large heater/tiny aircon. Works great if you live in a country whose idea of summer consists of not having to piss through a layer of ice when you go to the toilet in the morning, not so good in a country where winter just means fewer bushfires.

But in all those things, people have decided that's what's cool. No matter what reality is, be it construction, transport or fashion, style overrules all.

There's no thinking why these design decisions are what they are. Just X is cool and posh, therefore I shall do X, too! Bloody cargo cult bullshit.

It's how you end up with houses with a thousand roofs and fifty different styles of window.

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 13:47 on Sep 7, 2018

# ¿ Sep 7, 2018 13:44

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

I always thought that a sunroof is the one you could crack open and slide back and the moon roof was just having your roof panel replaced by glass.

I'm also probably wrong, as a quick google shows.

EDIT: I was apparently thinking of a panoramic sunroof.

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 16:59 on Sep 7, 2018

# ¿ Sep 7, 2018 16:54

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

FrankeeFrankFrank posted:

No idea where or what this is. I found it randomly on facebook... and immediately fell down the stairs, even though I wasn't even on stairs when I first saw the pic. When I got up I knew I had to post it here.

EDIT: and a crane splits a house in half...

https://www.wdsu.com/article/crane-falls-onto-baldwin-park-home-splitting-home-in-two/22994941

Reddit is poo poo, but redditery lets you just look at the pictures from each subreddit.

r/abandoned porn despite its name is actually about abadoned buildings and is incredibly cool.

They had that abandoned button factory featured a week or so ago if you feel like drilling through a few hundred cool photos of decaying stuff.

# ¿ Sep 7, 2018 18:13

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

If someone offers to do work on your house out of the blue, it's pretty much guaranteed to 100% be a scam. Your mate just hasn't realised what it is yet.

I know a few people who have guys come to their doors and offer to put bitumen on their driveway and that turned out to be Z-grade watered down crap mixed with black paint. Look great immediately after they did it, turned to poo poo after a week's worth of driving.

I'm guessing you just need to wait for the first rain or strong winds to see where they scammed him.

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 17:11 on Sep 8, 2018

# ¿ Sep 8, 2018 17:06

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

All I can tell is that every single measurement is different from every other one.

And they're all weird measurements, too. 11.58, 2.93, 3.78.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2018 07:43

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

untzthatshit posted:

I'm surprised anyone likes this but I think that's just because I've been working on this building that is completely surrounded by it and it burns my eyes

Give me something like this any day:

Sure, it doesn't cut out as much sun, but you get all the privacy and it's so much prettier.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2018 10:40

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Isn't that a telephone exchange or data centre?

EDIT: Yep, AT&T Long Lines building.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2018 13:08

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Blue Footed Booby posted:

I don't understand how people design things like that and think it's a good idea.

They're called architects.

"Hey, this idea I will never see in person or have to live with seems like a great idea!"

Never forget:

Also:

# ¿ Sep 20, 2018 06:09

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Ashcans posted:

Look, you guys are complaining, but as long as you don't expect your stairs to be used by the elderly, children, people who have been drinking, people with vision problems, people with balance problems, anyone with any degree of disability, the clumsy, someone who could sneeze while on the steps, and you can be certain that your house won't suffer an unexpected blackout or any sort of seismic activity, these steps are almost as good as regular stairs!

Or people wearing socks.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2018 07:51

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

I can sympathise a bit. I have size 15 feet which means, apart from the nightmare of finding good shoes, that a lot of staircases are drat near deathtraps for me.

Tight spiral staircases especially.

They're like, "Okay, here's room for one foot when you're going down. What about the other foot you ask? gently caress you, that's what."

# ¿ Sep 23, 2018 04:02

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

I have seen that gif so many times and always just thought it was kids being kids and doing some stupid in-group hand gesture.

# ¿ Sep 30, 2018 05:12

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

value-brand cereal posted:

I hope the owners buy a roomba, because the underside of those stairs is going to be an absolute warren of dust bunnies.

# ¿ Oct 1, 2018 06:12

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

It also falls under the general architecture category of "This thing I will never see in person or have to live with seems like a great idea!"

AKA Frank Lloyd Wright's entire career.

# ¿ Oct 1, 2018 08:18

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Buff Skeleton posted:

Imagine trying to run up or down those stairs with socks on

See, this guy gets it.

If you can't safely manoeuvre them in the dark while naked except for socks then they're bad stairs.

# ¿ Oct 2, 2018 01:07

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

People with cold floors :colbert:

# ¿ Oct 2, 2018 13:19

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Not the most terrible bit of design, but this photo from a local real estate place has an incredibly pointless gate

At least the gate near the fence stops people going around the side of the house. From all I can tell, the other one just makes mowing the lawn that little bit more annoying.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2018 07:57

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

poemdexter posted:

I bet the whole house smells like chlorine 24/7.

Outside pool not enough, must have inside pool!

I do like the big open space idea. I mean, not the execution, certainly. But the idea.

Imagine the heating/cooling costs, though.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2018 16:01

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Enos Cabell posted:

e: if you showed 1985 me this it would probably be my dream house

My ideal house still is basically a warehouse with one end converted for living and the rest as a big open area for a running track and gym so I can exercise even when the weather is insane.

Play my own goddamn music over the speakers :argh:

Still wouldn't have a goddamn pool right inside by the kitchen.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2018 17:03

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

I posted some kitchen showers a while ago, but this one takes things to a whole new level.

Also, another stair toilet:

Bonus:

# ¿ Oct 20, 2018 14:36

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

FCKGW posted:

Yes, there's prescribed burns in CA as well. This isn't a new concept.

But do you have animals who have evolved to spread bush fires?

# ¿ Oct 22, 2018 05:01

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Facebook Aunt posted:

I bet females love it.

That was such a nice loving bathroom before he started, too

# ¿ Oct 24, 2018 06:02

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Craftsmanship.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2018 11:22

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

When copy/paste architecture goes too far:

# ¿ Nov 16, 2018 13:52

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Some unique wiring:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRaWZqInEJ8&t=234s

(should start at 3:54)

# ¿ Nov 18, 2018 13:49

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Youth Decay posted:

It's a full-size installation by artist Makoto Egashira. The toilet is actually made of foam but the room is 2.4m high x 1.35m wide x 1.65m deep.

Some of his other work:

Some of my friends are Russian, this is what their parents' houses look like.

Barely even an exaggeration.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2018 16:10

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

I'm guessing their logic was entirely, "Bigger fan goes on the inside."

# ¿ Nov 24, 2018 05:36

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 16:24

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

I literally can't see them as full size houses.

They genuinely look like plastic Barbie Dream Houses to me.

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 08:49 on Nov 29, 2018

# ¿ Nov 29, 2018 08:47

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Hobbies, Crafts, & Houses > Crappy Construction: The Four POs of the Housepocalypse

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