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Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Ramsus posted:

I had never heard of God Hand, so I went to youtube to find some gameplay footage.

I found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEOGyzdJXzo

If ign said it was bad, it must be good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAga2AjfZlg

The game could've just been this on a DVD and it would've deserved a better score than IGN gave it.

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Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Yeah, pretty much straight ports of the PS2 versions, no upscaling, no trophies, no nothing, and I've been hearing $10 for the price. But just a couple days ago I was thinking how the only thing missing in my life is the ability to play God Hand now that I don't have my PS2, and then this is announced. So I guess you're all welcome.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Rirse posted:

Horse controls fine after I remapped the in-game controls to match Red Dead Redemption.

It all came full circle with the pack. I played SotC, and then when RDR came out, I had to unlearn the horse controls from SotC. Then I get SotC again and end up having to unlearn the RDR horse controls.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Shalinor posted:

It has poison chihuahuas, you get to punch Elvis, and at one point you pick a fight with a Gorilla in a luchadore outfit just because. It's also an amazing beat-em-up with great physicality and spanking combos.

It is awesome.

(but only get it if you have a reasonable tolerance for difficulty in games - it gets a bit tricky, around the 3rd chapter)

Agreed, especially about the difficulty, but the thing that makes God Hand great is that the game is never unfair. Any regular enemy can kick your rear end in a heartbeat, but if you can keep your cool and have good enough reflexes, you can effortlessly dodge anything they throw at you and respond by using the power of a god to summon a baseball bat and hit them so hard they become a star.

Those first couple stages, you'll think this game is a cheap and unfair piece of crap, and most people (IGN) didn't get any further than that. But once you get past trying to play it like any other beat-em-up where you can take dozens of hits and just whale on the square button and actually pay attention to dodging (dodging is your best friend), suddenly you find yourself turning into a dervish, ducking under kicks and uppercuts and beating a demon to death without breaking a sweat. It's really a game that rewards reflexes and concentration, and you really do feel like a better player the more you play. And if you ever start loving up, the game even goes a little easier on you, and when you do better, the game gets harder. It's constantly evolving to your level of skill.

Lot of words. Sorry. But man, do I love God Hand.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

sentrygun posted:

Probably abusing the poo poo out of the forward dodge (duck and weave). I'm almost tempted to say it became my most used input once I realized how useful it was, plus if I remember correctly it builds God Hand meter, so there's a bonus.

This is correct. At first I kept using the backflip to avoid everything, until I realized that a ton of moves can be forward dodged; keep wailing on the stick and you'll dodge entire combos and earn huge bonuses, plus you can press triangle during the dodge to do a leg sweep.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Stare-Out posted:

Ah, that makes a bit more sense. And it is pretty neat to have VAs reprise roles despite not physically appearing in the ad, though Old Snake looked weird as hell.

Obviously30yearoldguyinoldmanmakeup Snake.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Ulio posted:

So Uncharted 3 is a month away I think, I haven't got anything on my ps3. If I could get the Ico/Shadow collection or God Hand which one should I get? I would get both but I have a huge backlog and more games coming out soon, also I never got to play Ico or God Hand. I got Shadow when it came out but my disc stopped working after an hour and I had to trade in for another game.

I don't think any two games could be farther apart from each other, honestly. They're both great in my opinion, all of them easily go in my favorite games ever pile. It really depends on what sort of game you'd be more into at the moment.

ICO and SotC are both relatively chillout, atmospheric games. You play them to be wowed by the artistry of the environments and the gripping story. They're as close to art as games have ever gotten.

God Hand, on the other hand, is the definition of hardcore. It's a difficult game, but fair; every single enemy in the game could easily kick your rear end in a heartbeat, but if you've got quick reflexes and good concentration, you'll blow them into the atmosphere. It's incredibly satisfying, and while you will get your butt kicked, you'll never feel like it was cheap or unfair, but rather due to a mistake you yourself made.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

CAT rear end now!!! posted:

Am I allowed to dislike Ico? Finished it today, and I really gotta say I didn't like it that much. I played and loved SotC on the PS2 but never tried Ico before this collection. The gameplay felt archaic and imprecise to the point of frustration at several points, the much-lauded art direction manifested itself as an empty castle made of legos bathing in insane levels of bloom, and Yorda is just retarded. I really can't see why she always gets a pass from being a terrible character to escort in every video game companion list ever, she's a pain in the rear end. As a whole I felt the game was alright, but fell short of the sublime masterpiece it's been advertised as. Well, for me, at least.

Ico actually made me briefly question if Shadow of the Colossus was truly as amazing as in my memories (it is)

A lot of it may have been the time it came out. Put simply, there just wasn't anything else out at the time like ICO. It came out super early during the PS2's lifetime, as I recall, so everybody was blown away by the fact that it was coming out so soon after the PSX's life cycle.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

...! posted:

I'm considering not attempting to plat Ico; the two trophies I have left are going to be a major pain in the rear end. Of course, the majority of Shadow of the Colossus' trophies look like they're going to be major pains as well but I am drat sure gunning for the plat for that game, even if it takes me months. Decisions, decisions.

Apparently there is a max trophy level, because people are now hitting it. It's level 50. I know one "person" who hit it is actually a massively shared account for the purpose of jacking its trophy level as high as possible. I wonder what those people will do with their time now.

Don't worry about platting either. The ICO trophy for beating it in 2 hours? From what I can see, the world record is 1:45. Don't do that one.

For SotC, the trophies for maxing out your health and grip bar require you to play the game about 4 times in order to collect enough fruit and lizard tails to do it. You also need pretty much max grip to reach the top of the sanctuary.

Both of these things were easily accomplished with glitches that are unfortunately fixed in the PS3 rerelease. Do not worry about platting the games, because it is way harder than you'd think.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Jamesman posted:

OK, I'm confused over LA Noire. Are all the cases disconnected from one another?

I was doing the first mission, and I got the this guy's apartment, and I was supposed to search it for clues. The first thing I found was some book that had names in it and it had a name that I guess was important, and my partner said to call it in. And that was the end? Like, it just stopped?

Then it was cutscenes of his past I guess? And then there was a brief mission with shooting? And then some more cutscenes? And then another brief mission where I chased some guy? And then more cutscenes? And then a murder case that had nothing to do with the first one.

So what the hell happened? Did I screw up that first case? Do I go back to it or something?

There's a series of cases, most of them unconnected, but some of them hint at a vast conspiracy that you may or may not unravel by the end of the game. Just relax and absorb, man. It's noir, the whole point is to just kinda let it unfold.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Jamesman posted:

So that first mission was supposed to end abruptly like that? And then things are supposed to jump around like that for a bit? It's just all very confusing because I don't know if I'm doing good or not.

I did this second murder case now, and THAT ended with a checklist thingy, and all the things got checked off. So not only did that have a definite end, but I guess I did good. But nothing before that was supposed to have a checklist thingy, right?

Not to tell you how to play, man, but really, chill. You're doing fine. The game's not going to explode if you don't do everything perfectly. You're going to miss some evidence, you're going to fumble an interview, these things are going to happen, but the investigation still goes on. If it helps, you can replay any case when you're done and try it again, but in the meantime, you're doing fine. Trust your instincts and don't rely on the game to tell you you're doing good, because you are.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

tooooooo bad posted:

In what way does L.A. Noire's structure differ dramatically from every other video game? How many video games permit you to fail the central plot of the game in ways other than failing a combat scenario or something (in the same way that L.A. Noire does)? Please offer examples.

Right, but LA Noire does a bad job of disguising this, because every single player at some point got annoyed during the Homicide desk because the game forced you to make a decision you KNEW was bad in order to continue the oh-so-important story.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

tooooooo bad posted:

That was the entire point of those Homicide cases guy.

Yes. And it was a bad point. That thing works great in a movie, but not in a video game. They were so busy trying to make their game like a movie that they forgot to make it a game, too.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

tooooooo bad posted:

Why is it a bad point? Because I think the way it aligns both the player and the player character against the in-universe establishment that's forcing them to make bad choices is a legitimately clever device for a video game to use, and one that wouldn't work at all outside of a video game.

It's also incredibly demeaning to the player to put them in the homicide desk and not actually let them solve a single homicide case. Also they telegraph way too much stuff way too obviously, so you end up spending half the desk going "I KNOW EXACTLY WHO DID IT" but the game still keeps making you do things you know are wrong. There's a way to do it correctly, and the idea is sound, but the execution is terrible. Much the same as Cole's dilemma later in the game. LA Noire's a ton of really good ideas marred by bad execution, a lot of which is due to the fact that they put the story too far ahead of the actual game. The two never really mesh in the way that it needed to.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

...! posted:

Seems like you're projecting. Just because you can't plat them, it doesn't mean that I can't. Obnoxious plats like this are nothing new to me.

Oh, I didn't say you can't. I just wanted to make sure you were up for the challenge and not expecting them to be easy ones you could hammer out in a few hours.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Morpheus posted:

Don't spend any boss souls.

Also, when you see this guy:

You should either let him stay in the cage he is in, or kill him. He will mess up your poo poo permanently otherwise.

I believe if you let him out and kill him, you can take his sweet looking armor, so that's slightly more recommended. But yeah, having him around will give you grief later on.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

blue.eyed.ash posted:

The thing is (and I can't stress this enough), you really should play through New Game+ at least once (and optimally 3 times, to get all the endings), and do it fairly close to when you beat it the first time. You can definitely skip all the wonky stuff like fishing and farming and such, but budget the time to run through NG+, which only replays the second half of the game anyway.

This really is true, and I do mean that. NG+ isn't just "Start over with your stuff", it changes pretty much everything about the second half of the game, and really is completely necessary to understanding the entire story. You honestly haven't finished Nier until you've at least beaten it once on NG+, and like blue.eyed.ash said, it even skips over the entire first half of the game, so it's only a few hours at most to see it.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Code Jockey posted:

No alarms sounds like a nightmare. Does that mean no "suspicious", etc or just no red "oh gently caress oh gently caress" level alarms?

Speaking of bosses, I just got to the first one, and all I want to know - nothing specific - is this: if I kill him, like shoot him to death with bullets, does that disqualify me for the no-death trophy? Or do I need to find a sneaky way to deal with him? I was curious if bosses were exempt.

Also holy poo poo DopeFish! and all the references to Manderley are interesting, for sure...

I can't wait to see where this is going.

You weren't kidding. By god, you weren't kidding. DX:HR is... it's... it's really starting to be better than DX1. I never thought I'd say that, but here we are. It's that rare case when a sequel, far after the original, does alright!

Suspicious is okay for no alarms, you just can't let an alarm go off, ever. If you're spotted, it's okay so long as the alarm doesn't go off. If you're spotted by robots, cameras, or turrets, the alarm goes off. If you fail a hack ever, the alarm goes off (Unless you're in a place with no hostiles, like Sarif HQ or city streets). If a guard spots you, I think you're okay, but he'll yell really loud and somebody will immediately run and set off an alarm, so it's best to just avoid ever being seen altogether and not having to worry about it.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Also I don't know if you've played it on PC yet or not, but just in case, Arkham Asylum is incredible, and its amazing looking sequel comes out tomorrow.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Code Jockey posted:

Oh interesting, I'll have to keep that in mind. I really like the hacking minigame, so I've been hacking everything in sight, but generally skipping alarm panels.

Also uhhh someone give me some strategy about the first boss. Motherfucker's turning me into swiss cheese in seconds. I've tried hiding behind pillars but whenever he gets close and I run out to try to run down the room away from him, he hits me pretty hard. I've got an upgraded combat rifle I've been opening up on him when I can, but I can usually only get in like 4-5 shots before HE opens up on me, doing massive damage. drat it, I'm a hacker, not a fighter!

It occurs to me that this being Deus Ex, there's got to be an easier way. The only reason I ask is that I'm kind of tired of having to reload, open the door, skip cutscene, die, repeat.

One thing I like about this as opposed to other modern shooters is Adam isn't a bullet sponge. Yeah he heals himself eventually [which makes sense in this game, normally I hate that] but boy he can't take much damage in a firefight. I also really like the way his HUD freaks out when you die. That's a nice touch. :)

Hide behind the pillar to your right when the fight starts. Turn around and you'll see some gas/explosive barrels. Start throwing those at him. They'll do damage and stun him. When those are out, run around and look for more. If you keep up the barrel assault, he'll die without being able to fight back.

The same goes for using the stun gun, actually. Hitting him with it puts him in the stun animation, and it does damage. Just keep zapping him over and over again and he'll drop.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Rent Heavy Rain. Play it once, live with your decisions and failures, don't retry a section no matter what. Beat it, then promptly return it and never touch it again or read anything else about it, and live the rest of your life believing it to be one of the most revolutionary games of all time.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

I said come in! posted:

FFX HD will make everything better again.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

The only curiosity is why you're not playing God Hand right this second.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

...! posted:

I played God Hand for ten minutes and got bored. The poo poo graphics (even by PS2 standards) and poo poo controls didn't help matters. :colbert:

It's you. You're poo poo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBqB5LUKh8A

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Parkingtigers posted:

Me? Oh sorry, right. Let me fix that right now then.

*Goes to PSN, buys God Hand*




Not that I'll even have time to play it, Rocksmith is eating all my gaming time and my backlog is disturbingly grotesque. But there will come a night, I'll be sitting at home wondering what to do, and I'll decide to try that punching game that a bunch of goons kept on saying I should get.

You'll be glad you did. God Hand is the Saints Row of the beat 'em up genre.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Speedball posted:

Wow. So, uh, is the natural progression of thoughts when booting up God Hand supposed to go "Wow, this looks terrible" to "Okay I'm getting the hang of it" to "SWEEEET!" ?

Pretty much. Then on your first NG+, you start off with all your moves taken away. Then you realize you're kicking rear end on the first stage that gave you so much trouble on your first time through, and it's at that moment that it sinks in that you didn't even NEED all those fancy moves, you're just THAT good now.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

If you skip UC1, you skip all that Drake and Sully banter, and that'd be a goddamn shame.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

TaurusOxford posted:

Would Konami be ballsy enough to go far into the future and have a whole new cast of characters fighting a new war?

Obviously Metal Gear Solid 5 will be the continuing adventures of Metal Gear and Gillian Seed, as they finally go to the loving Kremlin and kill those Snatchers so I can get some goddamn closure.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Samurai Sanders posted:

So you're saying that the European version was the one that was made more difficult?

Yeah, both the European versions of ICO and SotC had changes made, ICO getting stuff like an alternate ending, translated subtitles, and bonus weapons. SotC had changes in difficulty. I know for a fact that you could easily reach the top of the temple in SotC by doing upward diagonal jumps in the US version, since that took much less stamina than actually climbing; things like this were fixed for the EU release, and these same fixes are in place for the PS3 upgrade.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Policenaut posted:

Well, it looks like Nomura won that little game of chicken he and Ueda had going over who could go the longest without talking about their game. Better luck next time Ueda :c00l:


Episode 3 delayed until late 2018 for "artistic updates" as Ueda joins Valve team.

ICO gets PC release, comes with TF2 horned hats, becomes best selling game of all time.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Marina is a goddamn force of nature. It's frightening. That woman could singlehandedly win the entire war.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Housh posted:

I got my PS3 when the slims first came out. It came with Uncharted 1 but I never played it 'cause I thought it was just some old crappy freebie at the time. Anywho, I got the flu and was really sick of playing BF3 and MW3 so I tried Uncharted 1....HOLY SMOKES!! What have I been missing?! I played through the game in one sitting and can't wait to pick up the sequel. I'm kinda glad I'm behind because Uncharted 2 is now ~$20 and I also have 3 to look forward to.

My question is...why aren't other PS3 games of this quality? Why can't Naughty Dog sell licenses to their engine so we get better PS3 games? I can't believe I have been playing a game from 2007 and it felt like the best game I played all year.

Because Amy Henning is an amazing person who actually tries to make a quality product instead of just pumping out a story about shooting people.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Tamagod Sushi posted:

It's weird, but Darksiders was one of the few rare games to really bore me about 3-4 hours in, and I think I'm pretty easily entertained. It wasn't particularly fun and the setting was quite plain, the items uninteresting with the highlight being Mark Hamill as you snarky Demon guide.

I don't know what it was about Darksiders, and this is anecdotal as all hell, but something about the way the game controlled just bugged me. I don't know if it was the camera, the movement controls, some combination or what, but trying to move around in that game just felt off, to the point where I'd start getting motion sickness, especially in the flying rail shooter segments.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Renoistic posted:

They also made every character twice as dumb (no mean feat!) and gave the most popular squad members bigger roles. In the game most of the worst stereotypical characters were confined to the gameplay portions, but with the anime and VC2 they started having dialogues. This was not a good thing.

Also I'm pretty sure Vyse and Aika die in the anime, and that's just....no. No.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Parkingtigers posted:

No strategy ... apart from using the giant blue exploding things to kill him. I'm frankly amazed you missed this, the levels leading up to that point had you shooting the blue sap to explode roots away. When I got to the boss, it was the first thing I thought of. I don't think the boss fight could be any easier, I was playing on hard and the whole thing took me just 5 minutes. I only died once when he surprised me with his grenade attacks, otherwise it was just a case of running around a corner, aiming at the blue stuff, and waiting for him to walk past it. It was cake. Total and utter cake.

Dude, you were absolutely playing it wrong.

Really my problem with that boss came from the fact that it was just a very non-cinematic way to kill the bad guy. Running around in circles trying to get him to move close enough to the blue exploding sap just felt way too gamey and not movie-like enough for me, if that makes sense. I'd have preferred some big cinematic setpiece or something, like how the game ends; while the UC1 final boss was gimmicky as hell, I at least appreciated that it managed to feel at least a bit like a proper action movie climax. It's a weird complaint, I know, just something that bothered me a bit personally.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

ImpAtom posted:

Marina is an insanely good Sniper if you're looking to use one.

Seriously, this. Squadmates are good here and there, you'll naturally develop some favorites (and bitter hatreds), but the one undeniable law of the universe is that a fully upgraded Marina is Death Become Flesh.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

The best part about playing and liking Yakuza 3 is that, personally, I found Yakuza 3 to be my least favorite of the series. So when you play Yakuza 4, you're gonna have your mind blown by how awesome it is.

2 is still the best, though. :( Come back, Sayama :(

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Samurai Sanders posted:

She can't come back. Like Bond movies or whatever, Yakuza can't have reoccurring love interests for the main character.

edit: I take that back, she could come back into the story but then she'd have to die so Kiryu can scream NOOOOOO!!!

Time to resume my usual vigil of standing outside the Yakuza offices and threatening to set myself on fire unless they make that Date/Sayama/Tanimura buddy cop game.

Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

Obviously an Akiyama game would feature (Yakuza 4 ending spoilers) the removal of health bars, and instead every time you take damage, the blow is absorbed by whatever money you have on you at the time

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Crappy Jack
Nov 21, 2005

We got some serious shit to discuss.

EC posted:

I've said it before, but I think it's a valid point: I'm loving sick to death of Kratos. The first two games he's pretty unrepentant about who he murders, but there are (shaky) reasons for his rage and it didn't really bother me. By the time I was done with 3, I was loving tired of listening to the dude whine all the time.

It's a no-brainer that they're gonna make a fourth game, as it's a super-big-huge Sony exclusive, but I hope that the attitude changes a bit. I'll probably play it either way, as the gameplay and graphics are usually a helluva lotta fun, but still.

ARRRRRRR ZEUUUUUUUUUSSSSSS

3 started treating Kratos like a hero of legend or something, a tragic anti-hero or something like that, and for some reason it really bothered me. I spent the last two games playing an unrepentant psycho who tore a bloody path through Greece, and I was glad that the games understood that I was playing a Bad Person. Then 3 starts trying to make him more sympathetic and it just rubbed me the wrong way. The change of directors really threw a wrench in things for me.

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