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Fig Newton
Oct 29, 2005



Fuzzy Pipe Wrench posted:

Any ideas what to do with ~2.3 pounds of pork top loin? I've tried slow cooking it, and braising it, but both of those it didn't have enough fat content to remain moist. Oven baked with a heavy seasoning rub worked out nicely, but there was very little flavor penetration towards the center of the meat.

Pork top loin (pork loin) is the premier "roast pork" cut of meat. You roast it. I wouldn't braise it or slow-cook it, it wastes all that potential delicious "roast pork"-ness. It'd be like putting 2 pounds of beef sirloin into the crockpot.

There are lengthy and sometimes fevered discussions on the Internet as to what to rub on the outside of your pork loin before you roast it, and whether or not to marinate it. I'm not gonna go there. It's a personal decision.

There are also equally passionate discussions as to what, if anything, to stuff it with. Ditto.

You can also slice it up into 1/2" to 3/4" segments, like boneless pork chops, and then do whatever you usually do with boneless pork chops. But it seems a shame, when you've got this lovely pork roast waiting to be roasted.

The leftovers go well, cubed, in stir-fry, sweet-n-sour pork, etc.

But they have to be roast pork leftovers, otherwise they have no flavor.

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HClChicken
Aug 15, 2005

Highly trained by the US military at expedient semen processing.


Fig Newton posted:

You don't want to have my sister-in-law, who would snigger behind my back literally until her dying day if I made her a cake, for any reason, that turned out less than perfect. "Wow, that Fig, she sure thought she could bake! And was it ever crappy!"

My mother-in-law would be perfectly polite about the lapsed cake, but she'd make vaguely negative, passive-aggressive comments about my cake-baking skilz ever after, too.

Yes, I am blessed by my in-laws, why do you ask?

Could you please keep this chat out of the official thread. I thought there was someone who needed help and you made me waste my time.

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

me larvae long time


Fuzzy Pipe Wrench posted:

Any ideas what to do with ~2.3 pounds of pork top loin? I've tried slow cooking it, and braising it, but both of those it didn't have enough fat content to remain moist. Oven baked with a heavy seasoning rub worked out nicely, but there was very little flavor penetration towards the center of the meat.

Oven roasting is nice. Make a pan sauce from the drippings, and you'll help flavor the center once cut.

Also, be sure to be roasting to only like 140F. Overcooked pork is foul.

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA
May 29, 2008



Fig Newton posted:

You don't want to have my sister-in-law, who would snigger behind my back literally until her dying day if I made her a cake, for any reason, that turned out less than perfect. "Wow, that Fig, she sure thought she could bake! And was it ever crappy!"

My mother-in-law would be perfectly polite about the lapsed cake, but she'd make vaguely negative, passive-aggressive comments about my cake-baking skilz ever after, too.

Yes, I am blessed by my in-laws, why do you ask?

Then stop cooking for them why the heck would you put up with that?

Fig Newton
Oct 29, 2005



Iron Chef Ricola posted:

Then stop cooking for them why the heck would you put up with that?

Fortunately they now live in Michigan and I live in Illinois, so I rarely have to cook for them anymore. But the MIL comes through twice a year on her way back and forth to Florida, and then I make sure her son takes her out to a nice restaurant.

The SIL, also living in Michigan, is morbidly obese and does not leave her house much. Thank you, God.

branedotorg
Jun 19, 2009


Fuzzy Pipe Wrench posted:

Any ideas what to do with ~2.3 pounds of pork top loin? I've tried slow cooking it, and braising it, but both of those it didn't have enough fat content to remain moist. Oven baked with a heavy seasoning rub worked out nicely, but there was very little flavor penetration towards the center of the meat.
Make a sauce using the pan drippings. Either deglaze with white white or french cider, reduce & hit with stock, reduce then separate off the fats OR make a trad style gravy with flour & the fat in the pan to make a roux, thin out with some stock or water, maybe a little wine...

benito
Sep 28, 2004

And I don't blab
any drab gab--
I chatter hep patter

On the pork loin, I smoked one for Thanksgiving a few years ago. I always like to provide an alternate protein that's not turkey or ham. I've done lamb, duck, beef, etc., and people are always pretty excited. No offense to the turkey, but I like to maximize flavor on the holiday.

This was brined for about twelve hours in a mild apple cider brine and then smoked for a few hours at low temperature. It was incredible:

Vixenella
Mar 23, 2009


Sorry I should have gave more details. I knew that vanilla extract was vanilla beans and alcohol so that's why I asked.

Here is the recipe:
3/4 cup butter
3 eggs
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 tablespoon root beer flavouring
1 1/4 cup of root beer

1) Allow butter and eggs to come to room temperature. Pre heat oven to 350F Grease a 19x9x2 inch pan. In a medium bowl stir together flour,baking powder, and salt

2) In a large bowl beat butter with an electric mixer on medium to high speed for 30 seconds. Gradually add sugar, about 1/4 cup at a time, beating on medium speed until combined. Scrape side of bowl; beat for 2 minutes more. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in root beer flavouring. Alternately add flour mixture and root beer to butter mixture, beating on low speed after each addition just until combined (batter might appear slightly curdled) Pour into the prepared pan, spreading evenly.

3) Bake for 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the centre comes out clean. Cool cake in pan on a wire rack. Frost with float frosting. Cut into 16 pieces. Tightly cover cake in pan and chill overnight.


Frosting:

Allow 1/4 cups butter to stand at room temperature for 30 mins. Allow 3/4 cup vanilla ice cream to stand at room temperature for 10 mins. In large bowl beat butter with an electric mixer on medium speed until fluffy. Beat 1/2 cup of ice cream and 1/2 teaspoon vanilla. Gradually beat in 4 cups powdered sugar until combined. If necessary stir in additional ice cream, 1 tablespoon at a time, to make frosting of spreading consistency. Makes 2 1/4 cups.

I'm in Vancouver BC, I have tried all the grocery stores and Walmart and no one has the flavouring. I have root beer candies that I have made root beer vodka with before to drink and it works. It doesn't taste like cough syrup. We have used 6 candies to 3/4 ounce of vodka and we only need a tablespoon.

As for my MIL she is cool with the idea, she tries stuff out on us all the time. Last year I tried a new recipe out too. I've already talked about the idea to her and she is very curious about the cake. Every time we see her for a meal we each try something new. Sometimes they are great, sometimes they suck! We always laugh!

NZAmoeba
Feb 14, 2005

It turns out it's MAN!


Dinosaur Gum

I've been experimenting with making my own oven fries, and been pretty good with the results. Yesterday at the supermarket the potatoes I buy came with a free packet of roasting potato "drizzles". I decided to put them on my fries and god drat were they tasty!

The drizzle I got was 'Mediterranean' flavour, and it lists the ingredients as: Canola Oil, Vinegar, Olive Oil, Salt, Herbs&Spices, Capers, Anchovies.

It would be too expensive to buy the product regularly, but how would I go about making this myself? What sort of ingredient ratio, what kind of herbs and spices etc?

Comic
Feb 24, 2008

Mad Comic Stylings


NZAmoeba posted:

It would be too expensive to buy the product regularly, but how would I go about making this myself? What sort of ingredient ratio, what kind of herbs and spices etc?

You may get similar results from an Italian dressing. I'll go and buy a mix packet for cheap and make it myself, and I've used that on potato wedges for a super quick and easy side dish.

Probably not the healthiest though.

xarg
Sep 17, 2008

IF A MAN DRINK LIKE THAT AND HE DONT EAT HE IS GOING TO DIE

So my mother bought me a slow cooker from my birthday and I have absolutely no idea what to do with it. Her theory is that I can toss some stuff in it, go to class, then come home and eat a tasty dinner in an apartment that smells like food. Has anyone got any good resources or any good ideas for what to do? Pretty much my only requirement is that I have to make it from scratch so I can avoid putting salt in it, as I can't eat salt. Ruling out most cured meats.

The best idea I've had so far is to make a kind of stew where I chuck the stuff I usually put in my pasta sauce, then add diced beef.

Not Very Metal
Aug 3, 2007

Shit Fuck Shit Fuck!

I like turtles posted:

I was driving by a week ago and saw some folks inside doing work. I turned in to chat with them and they both had pretty heavy accents.
The name on the liquor license application I see online is Monika Glowacka-Musial, which sounds pretty Polish to me.

I have high hopes, Tucson has been sorely lacking in central/eastern European food for the last few years, and good central/eastern European food for quite a bit longer than that.

My first post came off overly pretentious, sorry about that. And you're right, sounds pretty Polish; I'm excited for you! Before moving to a predominately Polish town, my only experience with the food was Stouffer's and Mrs. T's plug and play frozen meals, blech. Enjoy!

Fig Newton
Oct 29, 2005



xarg posted:

So my mother bought me a slow cooker from my birthday and I have absolutely no idea what to do with it. Her theory is that I can toss some stuff in it, go to class, then come home and eat a tasty dinner in an apartment that smells like food. Has anyone got any good resources or any good ideas for what to do? Pretty much my only requirement is that I have to make it from scratch so I can avoid putting salt in it, as I can't eat salt. Ruling out most cured meats.

The best idea I've had so far is to make a kind of stew where I chuck the stuff I usually put in my pasta sauce, then add diced beef.

There was a slow-cooker thread a while ago but I can't find it, it may have been archived.

Anyway, yeah, slow cookers.

1. Chicken. Put some cut up pieces of chicken in there. Put in some kind of liquid like chicken stock (this now comes in cans and paper boxes at Kroger, they also have a low-sodium option) (do NOT use bouillion cubes, they're full of sodium), or salsa, or marinara, whatever, but NOT simply water because it won't come out yummy, it will come out sad like Oliver Twist Orphanage Soup). Have enough liquid so that all the pieces of chicken are covered, but not so full that the lid won't go on without squirting liquid all over the counter. Add things like a peeled quartered onion, a peeled chunked carrot, a washed chunked stalk of celery. Make sure all ingredients are covered by liquid. Turn on High. Make sure it's actually heating up before you go away for the day. Go away for the day. Come home to yummy chicken stuff.

2. Pulled pork. Put in hunks of pork butt (it's actually the shoulder). Ask the man at the Kroger meat counter if you can't tell which one it is. Put in liquid--water this time, and only about half, because you're going to make the other half be your choice of BBQ sauce. Onion, carrot, celery optional. Cover, plug in, turn on, etc. When you come home, remove meat, let cool, pull apart with forks or clean fingers. Eat.

3. Beef. Put in pieces of beef stew meat (ideally a mix of chuck roast and round steak or arm roast) in about 1" chunks. Put in beef stock for your liquid (this also comes in cans and paper boxes at Kroger, also has a low-sodium option). Add onion, carrot, celery. Add one (1) bay leaf. Add a pinch of thyme, marjoram, and parsley if you have some. Add a spoonful of tomato paste or a small can of peeled whole tomatoes. Smush the tomatoes with your hands when you put them in there. Note: Everything past "put in beef stock" is kinda optional; without it, you'll get "plain blah cooked beef", with it you'll get "yummy cooked beef". It'll be even yummier if you brown the meat (read: "fry the meat in a frying pan until it's nice and steak-like brown") beforehand, but that's not "dump n run" slow cookery. Apply here for further instructions. Plug in, turn on, etc. When you get home, you'll need to fish around in there and remove the bay leaf, which is not edible. If you make your liquid half stock and half tomato juice, and put in a teaspoon of chili powder, plus some garlic, you get chili. With or without beans. Amounts are approximate depending on your palate.

You can make your own beef and chicken stock, which would have the advantage of being sodium-free, but I dunno how ambitious you are. Apply here for further instructions.

Fig Newton fucked around with this message at Sep 22, 2011 around 14:13

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA
May 29, 2008



Fig Newton posted:

1. Chicken. Put some cut up pieces of chicken in there. Put in some kind of liquid like chicken stock (this now comes in cans and paper boxes at Kroger, they also have a low-sodium option) (do NOT use bouillion cubes, they're full of sodium), or salsa, or marinara, whatever, but NOT simply water because it won't come out yummy, it will come out sad like Oliver Twist Orphanage Soup). Have enough liquid so that all the pieces of chicken are covered, but not so full that the lid won't go on without squirting liquid all over the counter. Add things like a peeled quartered onion, a peeled chunked carrot, a washed chunked stalk of celery. Make sure all ingredients are covered by liquid. Turn on High. Make sure it's actually heating up before you go away for the day. Go away for the day. Come home to yummy chicken stuff.

Hello I understand that you are trying to give babby's first cooking advice but salsa chicken is an abomination.

You don't need to cover the ingredients, just having a small amount of liquid will be fine. Cooking chicken for 8+ hours is a good way to have overly mushy chickens in the end, 1-4 hours after it comes to temperature is plenty.

fatherdog
Feb 16, 2005

by Lowtax


Fig Newton posted:

There was a slow-cooker thread a while ago but I can't find it, it may have been archived.

Right here.

Gourd of Taste
Sep 11, 2006

by Ralp


Yeah if you cook chicken for eight hours it's going to end up in some kind of disorienting texture hell, please don't do that to animal-meats. Also if you decide to do that beef thing (that's your call, I'm not the boss of your kitchen) strongly consider taking the time to brown the beefs before slow cooking them, that way it tastes like food.

Nephzinho
Jan 24, 2008



Gourd of Taste posted:

Yeah if you cook chicken for eight hours it's going to end up in some kind of disorienting texture hell, please don't do that to animal-meats. Also if you decide to do that beef thing (that's your call, I'm not the boss of your kitchen) strongly consider taking the time to brown the beefs before slow cooking them, that way it tastes like food.

One place I'll disagree with on this point is when I make a bastardized version of jambalaya in which I just throw whatever leftover steak, chicken, and sausage I have from the week into a slow cooker with rice and cook it for 6-8 hours until it is some weird looking meat paste that is utterly delicious and my college hangover cure of choice.

Knockknees
Dec 21, 2004

sprung out fully formed


Iron Chef Ricola posted:

Hello I understand that you are trying to give babby's first cooking advice but salsa chicken is an abomination.

It's funny, salsa chicken was the maligned first post in the crock-pot thread too.

I know it isn't food - but in the fall I love coming home to an apartment that smells like a crock-pot full of hot mulled cider. I always put in oranges stuck with cloves, cinnamon sticks, a little red wine, and whatever other spices strike my fancy at the moment.

Gourd of Taste
Sep 11, 2006

by Ralp


zerox147o posted:

One place I'll disagree with on this point is when I make a bastardized version of jambalaya in which I just throw whatever leftover steak, chicken, and sausage I have from the week into a slow cooker with rice and cook it for 6-8 hours until it is some weird looking meat paste that is utterly delicious and my college hangover cure of choice.

My college hangover cure of choice was corned beef hash from a can, I have no room to critique your mistakes.

Nephzinho
Jan 24, 2008



Gourd of Taste posted:

My college hangover cure of choice was corned beef hash from a can, I have no room to critique your mistakes.

I would make it in huge batches and store it in those half gallon cookie dough tubs to be spooned out and microwaved on a drunken whim. Simpler days.

Charmmi
Dec 8, 2008

:trophystare:


I never got to post this recipe in the slow cooker thread, but this turned out to be one of my favorite slow cooker dishes. You will probably have to adjust the salt to your specifications.

Stewed Rabbit with Red Wine and Wild Mushrooms

COOKER: Large round or oval
SETTING AND COOK TIME: HIGH for 3 to 5 hours,
plus 30 minutes to reduce the sauce

Two 2 to 3-pound rabbits, each cut into 6 pieces, rinsed, and patted dry
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 medium-size yellow onions, chopped
1 cup chopped carrots
cup chopped celery
2 cloves garlic, minced
One 15-ounce can diced tomatoes, undrained
2 teaspoons chopped fresh rosemary
2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme
1 teaspoon fennel seeds
1 cup hearty red wine
3 cups chicken broth

MUSHROOMS:
2 tablespoons olive oil
ounce dried porcini mushrooms, soaked in boiling water to cover for 1 hour, drained, and coarsely chopped
2 tablespoons minced shallots
4 cups (about 12 ounces) thickly sliced wild mushrooms, such as chanterelle, oyster, and/or shiitake
2 tablespoons slivered oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes
cup sliced drained olives
Zest of 1 lemon
Salt and pepper to taste

1. Season rabbit liberally with salt and pepper. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat and brown the rabbit on all sides. Transfer to the slow cooker. Add the onions, carrots, celery, and garlic to the pan and cook, stirring, until softened, about 5 minutes. Add the tomatoes with their juice, rosemary, thyme, fennel seeds, wine, and broth and bring to a boil. Pour the mixture over the rabbit. Cover and cook on HIGH until the rabbit is very tender and falling off the bone, 3 to 5 hours.

2. Remove the rabbit from the cooker. Strain the sauce, returning all of the braising juices to the cooker. Cook, uncovered, on HIGH until slightly reduced, about 30 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, remove the meat from the rabbit bones and discard the bones and braising vegetables. Season the meat with salt and pepper and set aside, keeping warm.

4. While the braising liquid is reducing, prepare the mushrooms. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over high heat. Add the porcini mushrooms and shallots and cook, stirring, until just beginning to color. Add the wild mushrooms and cook, stirring occasionally, until browned, about 5 minutes. Stir in the sun-dried tomatoes, olives, and lemon zest; season with salt and pepper. Set aside, keeping warm.

Charmmi fucked around with this message at Sep 22, 2011 around 15:09

Fig Newton
Oct 29, 2005



Iron Chef Ricola posted:

Hello I understand that you are trying to give babby's first cooking advice but salsa chicken is an abomination.

Salsa chicken is very tasty.

And yes, this IS the thread for Babby's First Cooking, so yeah. Crockpot salsa chicken. Goes in here. This is the place for it.

It got dissed, lavishly, in the Slow Cooker thread, too.

If ya wanna be a purist, you can make your own salsa and THEN dump it in the crockpot with the chicken.

You should be thankful I didn't give him my recipe for Spaghetti Sauce Packet Pot Roast.

Charmmi
Dec 8, 2008

:trophystare:


Vixenella posted:

Root beer cake

Since you're also using root beer as the liquid in the cake, I would omit the root beer flavoring alltogether. Replace it with some vanilla extract if you like.

That frosting sounds really interesting, I've never seen a frosting using butter and ice cream. Are you supposed to keep it chilled? Let us know how it turns out!

Gourd of Taste
Sep 11, 2006

by Ralp


Seems a little silly to say 'it got dissed in the other place so I put it here because someone new to cooking won't know any better.'

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

me larvae long time


Gourd of Taste posted:

Seems a little silly to say 'it got dissed in the other place so I put it here because someone new to cooking won't know any better.'

Especially with the same misinformation as last time, namely way too much liquid.

Fig Newton
Oct 29, 2005



Gourd of Taste posted:

Seems a little silly to say 'it got dissed in the other place so I put it here because someone new to cooking won't know any better.'

Casu Marzu posted:

Especially with the same misinformation as last time, namely way too much liquid.

Actually, I wasn't the one who posted it in the Slow Cooker thread--I didn't even post in that thread at all--but thanks for the feedback, nice to see that nothing's really changed here, "Whirled Peas" initiative notwithstanding.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

me larvae long time


Fig Newton posted:

Actually, I wasn't the one who posted it in the Slow Cooker thread--I didn't even post in that thread at all--but thanks for the feedback, nice to see that nothing's really changed here, "Whirled Peas" initiative notwithstanding.

Oh jesus christ you have a horrible persecution complex. I didn't say you posted the original one. I'm just saying you pretty much gave out the recipe in here word for word, and didn't improve on its shittiness (cook time and liquids).



(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

No Friend of Gravity
Feb 24, 2006



Fig Newton posted:

And yes, this IS the thread for Babby's First Cooking, so yeah. Crockpot salsa chicken. Goes in here. This is the place for it.

People who ask questions here deserve the same advice we'd give them anywhere else. This is the place for fundamentals, and a place to get the right answers about questions that demand technical skill and experience to "just know" the right answer. The right answer to "when is salsa chicken a good thing to cook?" is never, here and in every other thread. You are simultaneously misinformed and condescending, and your posts are toxic.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA
May 29, 2008



Salsa chicken is the culinary equivalent of telling someone that goes into W&W to do five hundred 10lb bicep curls. It kind of works, but it's still dumb and there are substantially better ways to do things.

People are coming into a forum about cooking asking about how to cook. They are willing to learn. Why the heck would you give them advice that is not actual good advice? Cooking is intimidating to people that don't know how to cook, but it is not difficult to make amazing food if you are willing to try. That is what we should be encouraging people to do.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

I would never shop at Costco. The paper towels won't fit into my sports car!

Pretty much. Salsa chicken is terrible and should forever be a haram suggestion.

On the other hand, everyone make the rabbit recipe above - that is pretty good looking.

mediaphage
Mar 22, 2007

Ricola-kun, tell me
about pizza cones!


What about reducing the salsa a bit and then adding it to the crock pot? I don't know - I almost never cook meat, but if that's the primary problem with it, isn't it a pretty easy suggestion that only adds a maximum of ten minutes to the cooking time?

bartolimu
Nov 25, 2002



Let's all stop obsessing about salsa chicken, please.

YEAH DOG
Sep 24, 2009

you wanna join my
primitive noise band?


Charmmi posted:

Stewed Rabbit with Red Wine and Wild Mushrooms

Is there a special rabbit-sourcing trick? I haven't found a local butcher that carries them regularly, and when they do, they're frozen.

Charmmi
Dec 8, 2008

:trophystare:


Mine comes frozen I wish I could get them from my yard like notsoape!

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

me larvae long time


SYFY HYPHY posted:

Is there a special rabbit-sourcing trick? I haven't found a local butcher that carries them regularly, and when they do, they're frozen.

Frozen isn't horrible for rabbit. Most of the time when we go hunting, we'll get the bag limit, and freeze most of them every time. They don't fry or roast up as nice, but will do fine in a stew.

Alternatively, go hunting.

Junior G-man
Sep 15, 2004

Bawk Bawk THERAPY CRANES Baaawk!




How do I prevent my nonstick pans from 'popping' in the middle; forming a well or a hill in the middle? I know you don't put them from the flame straight into the water, but it still happens.

Do I need to heat them slowly slowly the first time to "temper" them or what am I doing wrong

Steakandchips
Apr 30, 2009



You need to buy less lovely pans, i.e. not 50 cent pans.

Buy this: http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/96225800/

$3 nonstick pan that won't warp on you.

mediaphage
Mar 22, 2007

Ricola-kun, tell me
about pizza cones!


Junior G-man posted:

How do I prevent my nonstick pans from 'popping' in the middle; forming a well or a hill in the middle? I know you don't put them from the flame straight into the water, but it still happens.

Do I need to heat them slowly slowly the first time to "temper" them or what am I doing wrong

Yeah in addition to not subjecting them to rapid extremes, you need to make sure that they're reasonably thick in the first place. Thin pans are far more likely to warp like you mean.

Nephzinho
Jan 24, 2008



Steakandchips posted:

You need to buy less lovely pans, i.e. not 50 cent pans.

Buy this: http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/96225800/

$3 nonstick pan that won't warp on you.

Also if you keep an eye on Amazon sales you can get nicer pots and pans on the cheap. I've got a bunch of Calphalon stuff that retails $80+ for $10-15 just by watching the sales. Beware this may lead to you have TOO much stuff over time/lack of willpower.

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Junior G-man
Sep 15, 2004

Bawk Bawk THERAPY CRANES Baaawk!




Steakandchips posted:

You need to buy less lovely pans, i.e. not 50 cent pans.


I bought a 50$ big Tefal nonstick for fish, so that's not really the issue here. It's thick enough.

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