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fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

Reign Of Pain posted:

I've got a thin-cut rib-eye steak that wasn't used for the breakfast that was intended and I want to make a taco or 2 out of it.

I've got:

Tortillas
Yellow onion
Celery
Carrots
Cucumber
Buncha canned poo poo like stewed tomatoes, campbells soups, beef broth, ect... -
tons of dry spices
Oranges
Grapefruit
Apples
chocolate cake?
veg and olive oil

Getting groceries delivered is fun

Whats a good way to mash some of this up to make me tacos?

toast some garlic powder, onion powder, and chili powder in some veg oil in a skillet. Dice and add some stewed tomatoes, half a chopped onion, and the meat, and heat through. Add salt to taste.
Put the resultant hot stuff in a tortilla. Add some chopped raw onion and shaved carrot for crunch. Squirt a little orange or grapefruit juice on there maybe. Lime would be better.

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Turtlicious
Sep 17, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
you can make taco's really easy by pre-heating the oven to 400, and brushing your tortillas with olive oil and then feeding it through the rack so that there's a little strip that's flat and the tortilla hangs (put a pan under it or oil will drip on the hot part of your electric oven and cause a fire.)

Reign Of Pain
May 1, 2005

Nap Ghost

fart store posted:

toast some garlic powder, onion powder, and chili powder in some veg oil in a skillet. Dice and add some stewed tomatoes, half a chopped onion, and the meat, and heat through. Add salt to taste.
Put the resultant hot stuff in a tortilla. Add some chopped raw onion and shaved carrot for crunch. Squirt a little orange or grapefruit juice on there maybe. Lime would be better.

Thank you. That was awesome and I'm glad you reminded me that it's easy to make something quick and simple thats GOOD!

Totally Reasonable
Jan 8, 2008

aaag mirrors

Turtlicious posted:

you can make taco's really easy by pre-heating the oven to 400, and brushing your tortillas with olive oil and then feeding it through the rack so that there's a little strip that's flat and the tortilla hangs (put a pan under it or oil will drip on the hot part of your electric oven and cause a fire.)

If you must have crispy taco shells (you monster) it's a bit safer to make aluminum foil taco forms and cook them on a baking sheet to avoid getting oil everywhere.

goodness
Jan 3, 2012

When the light turns green, you go. When the light turns red, you stop. But what do you do when the light turns blue with orange and lavender spots?
Where can i get good corn tortillas

Reign Of Pain
May 1, 2005

Nap Ghost
I did soft tacos

Eeyo
Aug 29, 2004

goodness posted:

Where can i get good corn tortillas

It depends on where you live. Up here in Chicagoland I usually get the El Milagro brand, which is ubiquitous and better than most in the supermarket. My local panaderia (mexican bakery) also sells tortillas (which I haven't tried). I would hope ones at a panaderia would be fresh and decent quality.

If you've never been to a panaderia I highly recommend it. They've developed a rich tradition of baking pastries (pan dulce) that are different from the ones an American would be used to. I like to get conchas, enriched buns that have been coated in a sugar paste and baked and look a little like a sea shell. Typically you go in and place the pastries you want onto a tray with tongs and they'll bag it for you at the register.

fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

Reign Of Pain posted:

Thank you. That was awesome and I'm glad you reminded me that it's easy to make something quick and simple thats GOOD!

:discourse:

breaks
May 12, 2001

goodness posted:

Where can i get good corn tortillas

From a bag of masa harina :colbert:

Honestly not much trouble to make from scratch and as with anything super simple, they really are best that way.

JacquelineDempsey
Aug 6, 2008

Women's Circuit Bender Union Local 34



breaks posted:

From a bag of masa harina :colbert:

Honestly not much trouble to make from scratch and as with anything super simple, they really are best that way.

Yeah we make our own corn tortillas at my restaurant for the few gluten free folks who come to a biscuit joint. They really are easy! It's just masa harina and hot water, maybe a little salt or seasoning if you like. Work hot water into the masa until it's the consistency of Play-doh. Roll em into balls, then press. If you're gonna make a lot, or make tacos all the time, you can buy a press. In a pinch, you can press them with a heavy skillet and some muscle.

If you're cooking for yourself and don't need a bunch of tortillas at once, the dough balls will keep in a ziplock bag for a few days in the fridge. Just warm them in your hands like you're playing with play-doh to get them up to speed, press, and cook.

Qubee
May 31, 2013




discovered the wonders of a fishmonger, been buying tonnes of fresh fish, yum! gotten all chummy chummy with the super old lady who works the counter, next time I go I told her she's gonna recommend stuff for me. I bought rainbow trout, the whole bodies. gonna roast them. can I keep the bones once I'm done to make fish stock? are two whole carcasses enough to make a fish stock? I plan on eating one whole one today, so any recommendations on how to cook the 2nd one? I was gonna use aluminium foil and cook it in a pouch in the oven, just some lemon, butter, and some dill.

edit: I'm trying to get more iron in my diet, can I stuff the everloving poo poo out of the trout with watercress? or is watercress better raw? I might shove spinach up inside it. serving it with roasted parsnips, sweet potato and carrots.

Qubee fucked around with this message at 19:54 on Dec 7, 2018

kedo
Nov 27, 2007

A skin-on filet of trout sautéed in butter until the top is golden brown and crispy is one of the most delicious tastes on the planet. Re: stock, unless they’re really big fish or you’re making a really small batch of stock, I’d expect you’d need more. But I’ve never made fish stock before so what do I know! If nothing else, throw it in the freezer until you get a few more carcasses.

Does anyone have a foolproof hash brown recipe? Mind keep turning out gray and thick instead of a nice, fluffy white on the inside.

Qubee
May 31, 2013




I present my pičce de résistance: Parsley and Watercress (and a small side of fish)



defo went overkill on the greens but I love parsley and I love watercress so me throwing it on the plate overzealously is a win in my books. Had to shove parsley aside to show there's even fish underneath for the photo.

Qubee fucked around with this message at 21:26 on Dec 7, 2018

Bagheera
Oct 30, 2003
Sous vide question: Can I cook steaks to different temperatures in a reasonable amount of time?

I like my Ribeyes medium. My wife likes them well done. Inhate rubbery gray steals; she can't stand even a hint of pink meat. Is this grounds for divorce? Can I set the sous vide to 165 and just take my steak out sooner? Or will the time difference between the two steals make this impractical?

Also: I just bought 17 pounds of "Top Sirloin Butt No Roll." I assume it's what top Sirloin steals are cut from. Aside from cutting it into steaks, what else can I do with it? Roast the whole thing? Dice it and sautee it? Note have a sous vide, Instant Pot, oven and stove. But no smoker or grill.

OBAMNA PHONE
Aug 7, 2002

Bagheera posted:

Sous vide question: Can I cook steaks to different temperatures in a reasonable amount of time?

I like my Ribeyes medium. My wife likes them well done. Inhate rubbery gray steals; she can't stand even a hint of pink meat. Is this grounds for divorce? Can I set the sous vide to 165 and just take my steak out sooner? Or will the time difference between the two steals make this impractical?

Also: I just bought 17 pounds of "Top Sirloin Butt No Roll." I assume it's what top Sirloin steals are cut from. Aside from cutting it into steaks, what else can I do with it? Roast the whole thing? Dice it and sautee it? Note have a sous vide, Instant Pot, oven and stove. But no smoker or grill.

no, you set it at the lower temp, pull your steak after an hour or so, crank the heat up while GraySteak continues cooking into a disgusting pile of poo poo

Dr. Krieger
Apr 9, 2010

Bagheera posted:

Sous vide question: Can I cook steaks to different temperatures in a reasonable amount of time?

I like my Ribeyes medium. My wife likes them well done. Inhate rubbery gray steals; she can't stand even a hint of pink meat. Is this grounds for divorce? Can I set the sous vide to 165 and just take my steak out sooner? Or will the time difference between the two steals make this impractical?

I think yes but I'd do it the other way. Set to 140 or whatever you like, drop in both steaks for enough time to get them both cooked medium, remove yours and crank it to 165 and give it 10-15 minutes at that temp to make sure all the pink is removed. Probably easier to just get a divorce though.

Scientastic
Mar 1, 2010

TRULY scientastic.
🔬🍒


Perhaps she’d like a milk steak boiled over hard?

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
I would just SV them both to medium and sear hers a little more.

Lawnie
Sep 6, 2006

That is my helmet
Give it back
you are a lion
It doesn't even fit
Grimey Drawer
I’m with Anne, I’d just sear hers longer over a slightly lower heat, or hell, take it out of the bag and into the oven for 15 minutes, then sear.

Turtlicious
Sep 17, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Anne Whateley posted:

I would just SV them both to medium and sear hers a little more.

yeah honestly this is the move, because if you're getting well done steak the gently caress is the point of SV?

e: you can't just "crank the heat" because it takes like 2 hours, so there would be like a 15 - 20 minute between the two steaks, so just SV them both, takes hers out and just burn the poo poo out of it like she likes.

(if you SV'd a steak to 165, it'd be reeeeally rubbery.)

Turtlicious fucked around with this message at 23:30 on Dec 7, 2018

fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that
sous vide them both to whatever you temp you prefer and take hers out early and throw it in the microwave for ten minutes.

Dr. Krieger
Apr 9, 2010

Anne Whateley posted:

I would just SV them both to medium and sear hers a little more.

I still think divorce is easier and the right thing in this case, but this seems like a better alternative than my suggestion.

Sextro
Aug 23, 2014

It's a valid question.

If she likes well done steaks there is a risk. A risk she also does not like fish sauce, runny eggs, vegetables, eating meat with a bone in it "because it's too real and reminds me I'm eating an animal" or any number of other picky eater things that will eventually lead to a blow out argument at a family holiday gathering ending in multiple murder/hostage situation.

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
Who caressss. I feel like the WDJSJDD MUST BE RARE brigade is way pickier than the well-done team at this point. I'm happy with rare, but if I had to choose between rare and a good crust -- which I think is often the dilemma of inexperienced home cooks -- I would pick a good crust. I dgaf.

Kaiser Schnitzel
Mar 29, 2006

Schnitzel mit uns


Anne Whateley posted:

Who caressss. I feel like the WDJSJDD MUST BE RARE brigade is way pickier than the well-done team at this point. I'm happy with rare, but if I had to choose between rare and a good crust -- which I think is often the dilemma of inexperienced home cooks -- I would pick a good crust. I dgaf.
Salt steaks and stick them on a wire rack in the fridge uncovered 24 hours before cooking. Take them from the fridge and stick them in the freezer for 10 min before you cook them. You can now cook the poo poo out of them in a skillet for a nice crust (and the surface of the meat is nice and dry from that fridge/freezer time) and have a perfect medium rare inside.

For me for an inch thick steak, 4 min on the stove over medium high in a preheated skillet, flip it over and stick the skillet in a 550 oven for 5 min followed by a 10 minute rest is perfect.

I’ve never understood why you’d want to sous vide a steak because I’ve always figured it would get way over cooked before you could get a nice crusty outside, but I’ve never had a sous vide steak to know what I’m missing.

All that being said, I’d rather have a steak a little too far toward medium than a little too far towards black and blue.

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
I know how to make a steak that's both rare and has a good crust, but many inexperienced home cooks don't; they feel like they have to err on one side or the other.

Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

I’ve never understood why you’d want to sous vide a steak because I’ve always figured it would get way over cooked before you could get a nice crusty outside, but I’ve never had a sous vide steak to know what I’m missing.
Obv it's not the sous vide step that overcooks them, but the searing can (which is why it'd work for his wife's steak). I have never been really happy about my ability to dry sous-vided stuff thoroughly enough, which is why I prefer reverse-searing. Now that's :discourse:

SymmetryrtemmyS
Jul 13, 2013

I got super tired of seeing your avatar throwing those fuckin' glasses around in the astrology thread so I fixed it to a .jpg
Salt, let sit exposed in the fridge for an hour or two, and reverse sear. There is no better steak. It's also dead simple - just roast at the lowest temperature your oven can be set to until it's just under temp, then sear and rest. You don't even need to rest it as long.

Bagheera
Oct 30, 2003
Slicing that sirloin butt was a pain. Certainly nothing like slicing a prime rib into Ribeyes. It took me over an hour just to get all the silvers and membranes off.

I sometimes save money by buying a prime rib and slicing it into Ribeyes. But I'll never buy a sirloin butt again.

Bagheera
Oct 30, 2003
The only thing I've cooked in my sous vide so far is New York Strip. Both times (once at 140 for 2 hours, again at 150 for 3 hours), it was far more tnder and flavorful than any New York Strip I've had in a restaurant.

I'm by no means a sous vide or steal expert, but I am very impressed with these results.

Doom Rooster
Sep 3, 2008

Pillbug
Steak chat! Doesn't help well done wife guy, but I have discovered The Best Steak Method™.

Bring steaks to room temp, salt and pepper, heavy oak/apple smoke at 190 until internal temp is 125 (took the filet about 55 minutes, and the sirloin flap meat about 40). They should be super dry on the outside, which is good. brush lightly with grapeseed or canola oil, grill over a crazy hot chimney of charcoal for about 20 seconds per side, sprinkle with flaky mushroom salt, enjoy.

















Intensely smoky, crispy outside, luxurious inside. Without a doubt the best steaks I have ever had, and the only way I cook steak anymore.

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

Bringing your meat to room temperature doesn't do poo poo BTW. Do you really think having the meat be 65F instead of 40F will make a meaningful difference when you're tossing it into a 400F+ pan?

fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that
Well it's really probably more like 70 vs 36 or so. If you're smoking them to temp it would obviously change the time in the smoker, which would prolly make a diff in flavor.

I do believe that when you're trying to hot a steak restaurant style (sear, then throw it in a super hot oven) having the steak at room temp when you start does make it a lot easier to cook it evenly.

goodness
Jan 3, 2012

When the light turns green, you go. When the light turns red, you stop. But what do you do when the light turns blue with orange and lavender spots?
From our Lord and savior

"The steak started at 38°F and the ambient air in my kitchen was at 70°F. I then took temperature readings of its core every ten minutes.

After the first 20 minutes—the time that many chefs and books will recommend you let a steak rest at room temperature—the center of the steak had risen to a whopping 39.8°F. Not even a full two degrees. So I let it go longer. 30 minutes. 50 minutes. 1 hour and 20 minutes. After 1 hour and 50 minutes, the steak was up to 49.6°F in the center. Still colder than the cold water comes out of my tap in the summer, and only about 13% closer to its target temperature of a medium-rare 130°F than the steak in the fridge."

fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

goodness posted:

From our Lord and savior

"The steak started at 38°F and the ambient air in my kitchen was at 70°F. I then took temperature readings of its core every ten minutes.

After the first 20 minutes—the time that many chefs and books will recommend you let a steak rest at room temperature—the center of the steak had risen to a whopping 39.8°F. Not even a full two degrees. So I let it go longer. 30 minutes. 50 minutes. 1 hour and 20 minutes. After 1 hour and 50 minutes, the steak was up to 49.6°F in the center. Still colder than the cold water comes out of my tap in the summer, and only about 13% closer to its target temperature of a medium-rare 130°F than the steak in the fridge."

:worship:

I like to let mine sit out about 2 hours when i'm gonna grill 'em. 20 mins is obviously not going to do anything. Also, the thickness of the meat is going to play into it, and he doesn't say how thick his 15 ounce steak was. He also dismisses the idea of letting them rest on something thermally conductive. Yeah you could hang the thing from the ceiling with a piece of twine and it'll warm a lot slower than if you put it on a baking pan or even a regular ceramic plate.

I think he's got a bit of confirmation bias built into his test.

That said, I've never tested it myself and my own opinion is based on my own anecdotal experience. It might be a fun summer project to do some meat measurements.

prayer group
May 31, 2011

$#$%^&@@*!!!

fart store posted:

meat measurements.

lord knows that's all anyone uses the internet for anyway

Jewel Repetition
Dec 24, 2012

Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.
Is there a way to make my gravy use more of the fat from some particularly oily drippings? Would I just need to use more starch to thicken it or do I actually need an emulsifier?

DasNeonLicht
Dec 25, 2005

"...and the light is on and burning brightly for the masses."
Fallen Rib
When people cook stews that involve sweating and cooking down vegetables, do you guys do it according to time? Or do you wait until most of the water has cooked off before you move to the next step?

I have this idea that I should cook the water off to get a little bit of a fond each time before moving on to the next step, but my tendency is to overdo things, and that most of the things I cook end up being on the heavy side flavor-wise.

Kudaros
Jun 23, 2006
I got one of those kitchenaid stand mixers a couple of days ago. Anyone have any recommendations for a recipe book (or other resource) that revolves around it? I used to make a bunch of bread -- and I still do for hosting situations -- but I'm interested in ideas that'll help meal prep and such.

Qubee
May 31, 2013




Googling stand mixer recipes would probably churn out a metric fucktonne of recipes, and kitchenaid is the gold standard of mixers, so you'd probably have entire forums / recipe websites dedicated to things purely for that appliance.

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BrianBoitano
Nov 15, 2006

this is fine



Anything that calls for whipping egg whites now doesn't make your arm fall off, congrats!

Italian meringue in particular is some magic stuff. I'd also make chocolate chip cookies to break it in.

Also, treat yourself with a scraper paddle and read up on adjusting whisk height

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