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Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Is it possible to make a whole wheat pie crust that's a real pie crust? As in flaky and light...I think it might be impossible to achieve the same effect. Does anyone know why that is?

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Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

HookShot posted:

As a thin person who only drinks diet soda (regular soda makes me thirstier and I can't stand the taste) I have to object to your completely incorrect comment.

Also, if you actually read the link, it shows that when you start drinking more than one can of soda each day, the risk of obesity starts being a hell of a lot higher if you're drinking regular soda.

What the others have said about diet soda is correct: if you replace your regular soda with 100-odd calories with diet, you will lose weight. It won't necessarily be healthy, but you'll be taking in fewer calories.

I drink more diet coke than any living human and besides the fact that I have to get my teeth bleached every so often and it may be calcifying my brain it is basically the greatest beverage on earth.

People tend to overlook booze as a reason they're fat. If you drink diet soda but consume a lot of beer it's basically a wash.

Question: I have two heritage, 1.5' thick porkchops. One of them I'm doing as a panfry, for the second...I'd like something a bit more interesting. Stuffing is the easy answer but I don't find that very interesting. I have a big hunk of foie and a lobster tail that I kinda want to use though.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

Bluedeanie posted:

I am a fresh college graduate and have been trying to get in better shape. Both things mean I am ready to evolve from drive-thrus and pizza rolls. I'm still pretty green in the kitchen but I've gotten to where I can at least make some decent pasta and chicken dishes that my family seems to enjoy, (and not just in that fake 'someone we like made this' sort of way.)

So I know this is a novice-as-hell question, but what the hell do I do with this pesto?


I know pesto can do well as both a marinade for chicken and as a stand-in for pasta sauce. If I'm using it as a marinade, how much do I use per how much chicken and how long do I let it sit? What would be some good side dishes to go with oven-roasted pesto chicken?

If I go the pasta route, again how much pasta will I get out of a 7.5 oz jar of pesto? Should I add anything else? I presume chicken again would be a good meat to use either as a main dish with the pasta complimenting or chopped up and put in the pasta itself, but how about an onion and some garlic? Should I cut the pesto at all or would it be good to use as is?

Sorry, I am certain these are stupid obvious newbie questions, but I am only just now learning how to cook and discovering I enjoy it so I wanted to try something different. I've had pesto in a bunch of things but I just wanted to make sure I was doing it right when I started actually using it myself :saddowns:

Make a pesto pizza. Make your pizza dough (or be a bitch and buy boboli or something) use the pesto instead of tomato sauce, and make the cheese a combo of fresh mozzarella and HARD ricotta. Add one more topping, two if you are intelligent and have any idea of how tastes meld. Realize ordering pizza is forever behind you.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

Kuros posted:

Is there a good book that teaches basic/advanced cooking techniques and terms? I like cooking but sometimes I feel overwhelmed when I read a recipe book.

How to Cook Everything by Mark Bittman.

It's good for basics, but a lot of his flavour profiles are way off.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

Casu Marzu posted:

Mash yolk with a delicious bird liver pate.

:stare:

Holy poo poo I love you.

Jay Carney fucked around with this message at 07:35 on Nov 3, 2011

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

Grand Fromage posted:

Don't cover it. Dry the skin off and rub it with salt and pepper. Stick whatever you want in the cavity, I usually use an onion and a few garlic cloves, lemon's good too. Put it on a wire rack over a pan to catch the drippings, and roast it at 450 for about an hour. It's hard to gently caress up and by using high heat and not covering it, you should get nice crispy skin and juicy meat. You could rub a little butter on the skin too to help it crisp, I've done it both ways. Never found the butter to be essential.

Listen to this man, but depending on your setup there may be a fair amount of smoke.

But yeah, high heat is incredibly important to a good bird. That sonuvabitch is going to look like you can carve mahogany.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

Jose posted:

I've started working 9-5 and was wondering what people do for breakfast? I want something that isn't simply cereal or toast but that I can prepare and eat in 10-15 minutes and is healthy and will stop me being hungry until lunch.

If I wake up fifteen minutes earlier I can scramble eggs with leftover veg from the night before, and match it with dry rye toast and a slice of cheese to make a great and healthy start to the day.

You can start from eggs and move up...I suppose you could prep coddled eggs and slide them in the oven as you shower.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

Hutzpah posted:

This evening I was prepping some Cod for fish tacos when I noticed a small worm wiggling around on the cutting board. Needless to say, I won't be eating Cod tonight. However, after digging around on the internet I noticed that this isn't exactly a rare occurance and might not matter all that much. I'm just wondering if any of you have ever had an experience with Cod Worms before and how you feel about them

This is fairly common to cod, and it's not a huge deal. If you have ever eaten swordfish you almost definitely ate meat riddled with some scary, scary worms.

edit: still kinda gross though.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

SubG posted:


...divides the primal into two sections with a layer of fat between them. If that's accurate, then that's a brisket with the cap on.

That's what I would say too. Seeing a profile shot would help a great deal.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Anyone have any suggestions for what to do with a pound of shaved beef? Think cheesesteak meat. And then don't think cheeseteaks because I ate them last night.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

bunnielab posted:

Chipped beef on toast?

Awesome, don't know why I didn't think of a batch of SOS. Should be the perfect breakfast antidote to whatever I do tonight.

Though any more ideas would rock too!

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Holy poo poo.


Xandu posted:

I tried shucking oysters for the first time tonight for dinner. About half of them opened quickly with no problems, but I couldn't get the rest open without like totally destroying the shells and a couple I couldn't open at all. Is there another way to open them besides the traditional way of sticking a knife in the hinge?

Not to my knowledge if you want to eat them raw. Shucking is a bit tough, it takes some practice (and if you're like me, oyster shell embedded in your hand)

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

FogHelmut posted:

How many times should I oil my wooden cutting board before its first use?

What kind of wood?

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
They quality of milk varies wildly between states and brands. What cowcatcher has seen may well be the case, and what kenning says may be too. There is almost no consistency despite what the labels say, so experiment and see what happens. It is like 10 bucks you are either reaping or wasting.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

GrAviTy84 posted:

Make cassoulet into a pot pie.

Pretty sure that if you tried do that and preserved it for any amount of time it would make some phenomenally mushy beans.

I like the idea though, if you omit the beans you could make a pretty incredible savoury pie.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

Kenning posted:

You could use less water, or you could just simmer it for a bit longer to make it less watery and concentrate the flavors. It depends how your texture's working out though – you might not want to make it softer with a longer cooking time.

Also next time try using some more flavorful liquids in addition to water. Wine, beer, and stock never hurt anyone. Also I don't know about you, but my stews always improve with a bit of lemon juice or vinegar and cayenne pepper.

Yeah, not to put too fine a point on it, but a recipe for Irish food found on an oven mitt can definitely me improved. Most of the fun in cooking is modifying the hell out of things to fit your tastes/be a mad scientist. Use it as a baseline and go wild.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

Emmjay posted:

I've only cooked kangaroo a couple of times so this is just guess work but I would leave the lime out of the marinade. My logic is that kangaroo is tough and awful if you cook it even slightly too much and lime might tip it over the edge. You can always add the lime to the marinade right before you grill it.

Unless he has chopped the kangaroo up there is little danger of the lime juice really cooking the meat. I would halve the lime juice though, 20 hours means it can penetrate the outer edges of the meat and make it mushy.

edit: I am assuming the kangaroo is of a thicker cut.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

GrAviTy84 posted:

Hold the oyster such that the flat side is uprght. Stick an oyster knife in the hinge with your right hand with your left, protected by towel, firmly hold the oyster in place. Wedge the tip in the hinge and twist down and away to move the tip up and toward you. Wipe the tip clean of she'll fragments then slide it across the bottom of the shell separating the muscle from the shell. Serve with the lightest dab of horseradish and a squeeze of lemon or mignonette sauce. Technically they die the moment you force the shell open, so rest assured they're dead when you eat them. As mentioned if they smell off or are dry or not normal looking, toss em.

Over/under on how many times a guy shucking oysters for the first time stabs the gently caress out of himself/has shell flake like crazy.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

GrAviTy84 posted:

Mignonette, some lemon, horseradish, some hot sauce for the heathens, a few oyster knives, a towel, and a slip resistant glove. Bring a nice dry champagne or a nice minerally sauvignon blanc and a few glasses. Perhaps a crusty loaf of bread and a really nice cultured butter. A gazpacho could be nice as an accompaniment.

Bone Marrow.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Any suggestions for what to do with some lamb Merguez sausage?

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Does anyone have any suggestions for a basque seafood stew? Finding a lot of mediocre-looking crap out there.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

Mr. Wiggles posted:

Basque food is all about making the most of simplicity. So for a seafood stew, I would do like so:

Fry up some onions and peppers in olive oil. Bells would be okay if you can find GOOD bell peppers, but otherwise go with whatever is available that provides a fruity taste and not too much heat.

When everything is starting to brown a bit, add some tomatoes (use jarred if you have to). Cook for 10 or 15 minutes or until the tomatoes have broken down some.

Cover with fish stock or wine and bring to a boil. Once boiling, add a couple of roughly cut potatoes and turn down the heat a bit. Cook until the potatoes are almost soft, adding liquid if needs be.

Add your fish. You can use whatever tickles your fancy here - usually you see tuna in a recipe, but anything that's not too delicate would be fine. Add it in in chunks and cook until it's done.

Season with salt and pepper. If you need to thicken the stew at the end, use bread as the thickening agent. Before serving, add a little bit of extra olive oil on top. And if you want to be real authentic, you have to serve this with bread, a dish of beans, and wine served in mason jars.

You rock, thanks wiggles.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

KWC posted:

I put a dry rub on some chicken last night planning to make fried chicken tonight. But then this morning (and through much the afternoon) we went to a giant brunch party and there is no way I will be able to eat a fried chicken dinner. Any harm in leaving the chicken in the fridge for another night? I assume it will just get a little saltier than I want it.

It will be fine, just a bit salty.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Buy Diver (Dry) scallops. Boom, problem solved.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Because of general indecisiveness I now have a 2lbs. slb of uncooked corned beef. It looks alot like a big chop, and since it isn't thick like a roast I don't want to boil it. Any ideas for preparation?

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

aricoarena posted:

Do you have access to a smoker?

No, probably just going to braise it

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Just got a couple molecular gastronomy kits with all the fixins and want to try my hand at something tonight. Looking for something more savory, maybe something with the xanthan gum. Also considering a goat cheese ravioli+brisket or something.

Ideas, good and plenty!

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Oh wait, can I make that modernist cuisine stuff if I dont have any sodium citrate? I have agar agar, sodium alginate, xanthan gum, soy lecithin...pretty much everything but sodium citrate. Any pointers?

edit: I am talking about making any cheese melt like american.

Jay Carney fucked around with this message at 22:13 on Apr 20, 2012

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Anyone have a really good crabcake recipe?

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
I do both methods, and don't think the seriouseats evap'd milk way matches the citrate way if you choose to go all the way in making the cheese concoction into american cheese-style slices. It just doesn't set as properly as the citrate, but is good for something like mac and cheese where you are trying to avoid the bake/break conundrum.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

Doh004 posted:

I have 8oz of soaked cannellini (white) beans. What should I make for dinner with them?

I like to make a shrimp/fish scampi etc, except I take the seafood out and then heat the beans up in the liquid (wine oil garlic etc) for 5-10 minutes, then I put the seafood back in and serve it allnover slices of toasted, crusty bread.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
So I made fettuccine last night and for the sauce I made a rather fantastic tomato-based one with bay scallops and chorizo.

I now have too bloody much of it and because of the scallops need to polish it off in the next couple days. Any suggestions for how to do this? I was going to fry up some polenta tonight to accompany but I do want to do something a little more interesting because I know my gf will start getting annoyed at eating the same sauce every meal because I made too much (again) :(

Maybe fish the chorizo and scallops out and??? I just don't want to waste delicious sauce

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Anyone have a really good recipe for pork AND duck rilletes? Two separate recipes, hoping to make two big batches.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

PRADA SLUT posted:

Since I keep hearing different things, can anyone tell me the best way to store:

Alliums
Potatoes
Cilantro/Parsley

1) Paper bag in a dark, dry, cool cupboard, do not seal bag or fold it over

2) Completely exposed in a dark, dry, cool cupboard, preferably resting on a wire rack so airflow is even and moisture can not build

3) For all leafy greens/fresh herbs wrap the bundle in a paper towel loosely. put in a ziploc bag that you close only PARTIALLY and stick it in your crisper. It is resource intensive but the best way to keep things as fresh as possible.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
How many cups of lard to a pound? Scale broke, sadly.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Evan Williams is the best cheap whiskey you'll find for this...great mixed and better straight than many other bourbons.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
I have about 3 lbs of pork rillette left over and have already preserved an assload. Anything I can do with it? Any interesting sandwiches or things to do? Really don't want it to go to waste...

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Find a god fishmonger (if you are as lucky as I) Most of them carry, or can get diver (dry) scallops for you. Treated scallops are basically seafood flavored gum depending on a 15 second window.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Any interesting suggestions of what to do with a leftover chuck roast? Would like something to do besides sandwiches for the umpteenth time.

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Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
So I have my birthday coming up and am going to celebrate it this saturday with a grill in a public park in new york. That detail is important because I will not be able to monopolize one grill for hours.

Short question: any suggestion for cold, prepared ahead of time salads or apps that don't suck? I can't loving stomach another cum.mayo-soaked potato salad and would like something easy that retains some zest. Was thinking of making some sort of cold octopus salad but then realized I don't want to spend 60 bucks on something people don't want.\

Even anything I could quickly grill would work.

No brussel sprouts, my friends are sallies.

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