Coffee: crankin' it until I have a sloppy puck

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > Coffee: crankin' it until I have a sloppy puck

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

So I'm not a coffee aficionado, and have a hard time differentiating "bad" coffee from good coffee.

Maybe my tastebuds are broken, or perhaps I've just never actually had high-quality coffee before.

Recently though I came across a recipe for egg coffee:

http://scandinavianfood.about.com/od/beverages/r/eggcoffee.htm

Has anyone tried this before, and if so, what are your thoughts on it?

# ¿ Mar 14, 2016 21:07

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 01:30

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

I've been getting into Turkish coffee lately. Are there any recommendations for getting that really fine grind?

# ¿ Apr 24, 2017 23:30

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

a mysterious cloak posted:

I'm so desperately tired that I'm... I'm drinking...

It's from a Keurig, okay? It's absolutely awful and I am ashamed.

Why not just drink some mud out of a ditch on the side of the road? It's much more palatable.

# ¿ May 26, 2017 20:43

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Verisimilidude posted:

I can only afford normal rear end coffee (Folgers) and I use a French press. I've noticed that my brew always comes out on the bitter side (currently going 20g coffee, 300g water). How can I make this taste less lovely without changing brands/method. How do y'all brew normal rear end coffee in your French press. TIA

Try reducing the amount of rear end in your coffee.

# ¿ May 31, 2017 19:12

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

I'm looking to get a decent lower-end manual grinder. I've been eyeing up the Javapresse featured on Amazon for Prime Day. Has anyone had success with it?

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B013R3Q7B2/ref=crt_ewc_img_gw_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A1R3TCZ1SXRAVW

# ¿ Jul 5, 2017 01:31

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

willroc7 posted:

Except without the inherent mountain of sugar and fat.

Lol if you don't think people put a mountain of sugar in their cold brew anyway.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2017 20:16

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

rockcity posted:

I'm always amazed at how much some people have to sweeten their coffee to drink it. A woman on a flight next to me last week asked for four splendas for what is probably a 5oz cup.

A lot of people drink coffee that don't actually enjoy it, so they use sugar to cover up the flavor. Also, I don't really blame someone for trying to cover up airplane coffee taste.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2017 20:36

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Scaramouche posted:

I've been asked to add a Blog to our site, which is super easy and I already know how to do the technical side and it'll look pretty sweet as well. But I was wondering, are blogs "cool" any more? Would you guys click on one for an etailer site? What if I called it the Magic Beanatorium? Other suggestions are welcome.

The reason I'm asking here and not elsewhere is because I want to get coffee people's opinion, not marketing nerd people.

Maybe call it a news and reviews page? Calling it a blog seems hackneyed.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2017 01:19

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Scaramouche posted:

I'll PM you. It's in Canada so it's irrelevant to like 90% of the goons.

Thanks for all the responses guys! Sorry I didn't respond earlier, but I kind of view this thread as a "work" thread, so I don't really look at it until I'm at work (and don't look elsewhere other than CoC when I'm at work).

So I'm not hearing a lot of support for the Magic Beanatorium sadly. That's all right, I probably couldn't get it by management, or my other idea Two Fisted Tales of Brewing as narrated by a cynical, jaded Noir-era detective.

I get that this blog thing isn't going to change the world, but I'm hoping to combine educational/newsical type stuff. We're also pretty active with our OCS clients, providing coffee service to both charity and gala style (grand openings, product launches, etc) events with lots of pictures and videos, and we need a place to dump those. Nothing super new, but just things the customers ask that we can hopefully head off at the pass, like difference between pressurized and un pressurized, good grinders for drip versus espresso, difference between thermoblock + SBDU + HX + DB, that kind of stuff. Readily available, but for whatever reason our staff end up having to explain time and time again. I like the News & Reviews/What's Fresh angle. Blog does seem both an overly loaded term and an overused one, which would probably get lost in the text. I'm thinking maybe not directly call it anything, but instead just have a link to the most recent posting/article, something like "NEW: Coffee encourages genital growth", since I have shortcodes to do that.

You might wanna go with "growth of genitals", lest your clients think it gives them some sort of warts or fungus.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2017 23:05

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Has anyone had success getting a superfine grind with their Javapresse? I've been trying to make Turkish coffee, but the grind isn't coming out quite fine enough.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2017 14:00

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Scaramouche posted:

I haven't used it, but I find them be interchangeable with the alibaba chinese crap grinders in that $20-$30 range (e.g. EZE, Culinary Prestige, even the Rhinowares grinder), so it wouldn't surprise me if it can't do it. They've just spent more attention on branding than most.

Speaking of grinders, I've been spending more time with the Sette 270W. We loaned out our big shop grinder (Mythos Clima) to a big client for a grand opening event, so we've been using the Sette as our daily driver for the last two days. It's surprisingly okay actually, not as good as the Mythos but it doesn't cost $3000 either. It is loud as gently caress though. Like, possibly the loudest grinder I've ever heard.

They explicitly say they're capable of the superfine flour-like grind needed for Turkish coffee, so if they really can't, it's a clear case of false advertising rather than a misleading statement.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2017 23:40

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

rockcity posted:

Amazon prime day has now allowed me to smart control my espresso machine. I can now start heating it up by voice command from bed. Feels good man.

I'd avoid wiring your house up with smart devices like that, generally. Maybe it makes me a luddite, but there will be people exploiting vulnerabilities in them before long, and I imagine it wouldn't be all that difficult to blow up your espresso machine. Not that I'm saying you're at risk or anything, it just strikes me as a bad trend.

# ¿ Jul 15, 2017 21:06

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

dik-dik posted:

yeah i'm sure the terrorists are coming for rockcity's espresso machine

Oh *that's* not what I'm worried about. More along the lines of an easily spread virus that indiscriminately damages smart devices.

# ¿ Jul 15, 2017 21:52

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

maseca posted:

i started roasting green coffee in a cast iron skillet a couple weeks ago if anyone else is curious about trying it out for themselves. it is actually very straightforward, and basically how the pioneers roasted their coffee. pictured here is guatemalanan huehuetenango at full city

How's it taste compared to pre-roasted?

# ¿ Jul 15, 2017 23:33

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Mu Zeta posted:

Starbucks is great if you just think about it as a place for milkshakes

900 calorie milkshakes

That's pretty much every milkshake though

# ¿ Jul 17, 2017 11:07

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

So I contacted JavaPresse about the inconsistent grind in my unit. They promptly shipped me a new one and it works great now. Their marketing is a bit too over-the-top and saccharine, but their CS is pretty good.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2017 19:16

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

kim jong-illin posted:

Has anyone grown a coffee plant before?

I've just gotten an allotment and I'm trying to work out what to grow in the space I have. Given all the dick-waving about what the 5th wave of coffee will be, now that third wave is passé, I fancy taking a stab at going for hyperlocal ultra-small batch where I get enough beans to sell a single bag every few years.

And so begins your journey down the road to the mythical Golden Bean...

# ¿ Jul 20, 2017 08:53

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

I think this is what happens when coffee meets a crack pipe:

http://dailycoffeenews.com/2017/07/26/turkish-space-cowboy-coffee-the-bripe-coffee-brew-pipe-offers-backcountry-shots/

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 23:16

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

GamingHyena posted:

Does anyone have any recommendations on the basics of making a decent iced coffee? I assume it's more complicated than just chunking a cup of hot coffee in the fridge for a day. Should I be using a french press or something else? Is there a type of coffee bean that gives a better flavor for iced coffee? Didn't see it in the OP or mentioned in the past few pages.

https://handground.com/grind/complete-guide-to-japanese-iced-coffee

# ¿ Jul 30, 2017 03:05

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

nwiniwn posted:

That looks great, but one question.

Some recipes give the water temp to use, while others don't. For the ones that don't, are we looking at a standard 195 degrees or room temperature?

I would use standard temp. Room temperature wouldn't be hot enough to extract much of anything from the coffee with these brew times.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2017 12:12

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Q8ee posted:

What's the best way to ease down my caffeine consumption? I'm basically ending up real dehydrated cause I drink so much coffee. I'm barely keeping it in check by guzzling tonnes of water too, but it's a chore. If I stop drinking coffee I get a mega-migraine and it's not very pleasant. I also want to lower my consumption so I'm not 100% a zombie upon waking up.

Any advice? Or is it as simple as "instead of putting a teaspoon of coffee in, put 3/4, then 1/2, then 1/4 over a week"?

Just stop drinking coffee for a couple days and stay hydrated. The headaches shouldn't last longer than a couple days. Cutting your consumption would just prolong your withdrawal symptoms.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2017 01:49

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

I'm surprised that people are apparently getting massive headaches from quitting coffee.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2017 19:41

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Q8ee posted:

I found this super interesting. I haven't been drinking coffee as much, and I've noticed this a lot. These past 3 days, I've had the deepest and most refreshing sleep, I wake up in the mornings now and actually feel energetic without taking caffeine, and going to bed at night leaves me waking up in the morning alert and energized, as opposed to feeling like a zombie. I've been having real vivid dreams too, which is so so. it's kind of annoying not dreaming of pitch black anymore, but it's strange and good being able to sleep solidly through the night, whereas I'm used to waking up 5 or 6 times in the night for no reason. vivid dreams kind of suck, cause they're mentally draining in their own ways, but I can live with that.

I've drastically toned down my caffeine consumption due to a bunch of reasons. keeping on top of dehydration was a chore and I'd get a migraine every two weeks which would cripple me for a day or two, morning time was an absolute nightmare, I'd be in a hazy fog for about 3 hours after waking up, even when drinking coffee. I'd also get a weird combination of jitters / jolt of energy to the brain, but I'd still feel lethargic. I also noticed lately that I was getting anxiety from my caffeine consumption: I didn't even notice it at first, but then I started seeing patterns, harmless arguments or discussions with friends would get me really agitated and worried, going out to university, shops, friend's houses would make me a ball of nerves.

I've got an interview in an hour or two, so I really lowered my caffeine consumption about 3 days ago. I felt like a nervous wreck when the woman called me and said to come in for the interview, but having dropped my consumption, I'm feeling rock steady and calm which is great. I'm also like this now in other aspects of my life. I can go out now without a feeling of impending doom, I can chat with random strangers and it's all good, my mind isn't racing at 1000 miles a minute, so I'm not having a constant internal monologue in my head when I'm out.

I think these are very, very extreme effects for a bit of caffeine. If this were my situation, I would cut it out completely. It's possible that you have a low tolerance for it genetically, or maybe it's exacerbating underlying anxiety problems already. Either way, talk to your doctor before downing another cup, maybe?

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 12:19

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Scaramouche posted:

One thing I noticed about coffee consumption is that I changed from drinking first thing in the morning to until about an hour after I get to work. Apparently just after you wake up your body is still in a post-sleep/pre-fully awake mode due to the lingering presence of cortisol, and grabbing coffee right away messes with that process of becoming fully awake. After about a week I noticed greater alertness in the morning, and not feeling to "need" that first coffee of the day to get going.

I tend to wake up with plenty of energy, so I like to drink closer to noon to combat the usual slump.

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 17:36

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Q8ee posted:

Also, why does coffee make you poop? Not only poop, really satisfyingly poop.

I don't think there's a consensus on this. It affects some people this way and not others, possibly by stimulating colonic contractions.

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 21:22

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

I've heard that some of the best coffees often have an odd smell to them.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2017 03:34

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Martytoof posted:

Let's talk about Turkish coffee for a bit.

I just had some and my love for espresso has been put to the test. Now two things:

- Will a glass stovetop prohibit me from buying a pot and making it? I think it's literally just heating up a special pot so no, but I want to check, and:
- Are any of the electric "turkish" kettles I see on Amazon worth looking at? I'd love to be able to do this at the office too, where I don't have access to a stovetop.

Other than that, I understand that the grinding situation is even more perilous than espresso. Talking about flour-consistency grind so a good grinder is essential.

Finally! Someone else who loves Turkish coffee. I just started using the Javapresse grinder last month, which does the job well on its finest setting:

https://www.amazon.com/JavaPresse-Coffee-Company-Manual-Grinder/dp/B013R3Q7B2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505082589&sr=8-1&keywords=javapresse

I've done it plenty of times on a glass stovetop, so I doubt you'll have any issues with it.

# ¿ Sep 10, 2017 23:30

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Sextro posted:

I've a virtuoso and an interest in trying out Turkish coffee. Is it capable of grinding for it? What does a brewing vessel cost? Or am I better off trying to find somewhere that serves it here?

The brewing method is a bit of an art form. You'd be better off trying it somewhere else before making it yourself.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2017 01:38

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Sextro posted:

In that case how to find place serving it well?

I don't know specifically other than to suggest you try a decent restaurant serving middle-eastern/Mediterranean dishes. It's often on the menu based on my past experiences.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2017 02:15

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

COOL CORN posted:

What's the dead-simplest way I can make awesome coffee at my work desk? Ideally not loud or messy. The coffee makers in the break room always taste gross and weak and mildewy.

A Clever dripper with hot water from the break room coffee maker? If I order beans pre-ground online will they be stale and garbage by the time I get them?

Pre-ground coffee begins its flavor within minutes after grinding. Once you open the vacuum seal, the ground coffee will become noticably blander very quickly. Hand grinders are pretty quiet, so you could probably get away with using one in the break room.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2017 17:37

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Martytoof posted:

I should also note that in absence of a good grinder I just bought this at the coffee shop that I get my turkish coffee from.

https://www.amazon.com/Mehmet-Efendi-Turkish-Coffee-8-8/dp/B0060HW38O

Probably poo poo coffee but what do I know, tastes good to me. Can't wait to get a good grinder and put that to shame though.

I'll second that brand. It's pretty tasty and very popular.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2017 21:19

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Martytoof posted:

Hoooly poo poo I got my ibrik yesterday and tried it out today and I'm in turkish coffee heaven.

Just need some proper sized cups now. Made my coffee a little weak(er) since I didn't measure properly. Still delicious.

If you have a scale, start with 5g of coffee and 90g of water, then adjust from there to taste.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2017 23:37

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Martytoof posted:

Great advice, thanks.

I will be drinking this often.

What's your brewing method like? There are a million guides on the internet. Personally I do not stir my coffee at any point, and I turn it off right before it gets to a boil (i.e. when bubbles appear in the outside ring).

# ¿ Sep 15, 2017 00:07

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Munkaboo posted:

Just got this in the mail and I've done a Kalita and V60 cup with it: https://sweetbloomcoffee.com/collections/coffee/products/copy-of-abera-gedela

Holy poo poo, it smells like flowers. I also get distinct notes of blueberry and beef jerky. What.

Also, what travel mugs are generally recommended?

Beef jerky? Maybe leather?

# ¿ Sep 24, 2017 22:09

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Are high-end electric grinders truly that superior to a decent manual grinder? The last time I asked this, someone started yelling at me about particle uniformity and a change in the percentage of total dissolved solids.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2017 13:05

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

I don't know how a hand grinder could make someone break into a sweat.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2017 20:35

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

iospace posted:

So, the other day, local coffee shop chain (Colectivo, if you're wondering) has this thing called a "Mocha Mexicano". It's a mocha with cinnamon and guajillo pepper powder.

Where has this thing been in my life?

Spicy hot chocolate has been a thing forever, so this doesn't seem like much of a stretch.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2017 15:45