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Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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So I'm trying to figure out the whole cappuccino thing.

As I understand it,



OK, so a cappuccino has like a ton of foam on top, right? You're either supposed to spoon the foam on after you've poured in the milk, or as my roommate claims you're supposed to spoon on the foam first and then pour the milk in? Either way you should just see a big head of foam if you look in the cup?

So why does every rear end in a top hat who makes a "how to make a cappuccino" video talk about this foam layering thing and then not do it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ao5b6uqI40

WHERE IS THE FOAM YOU gently caress

I spent a whole weekend figuring out how to make a huge pile of foam and was so pleased with myself, and then I go looking and this is the top hit for "make cappuccino", but they all seem to be like this

"just pour the milk in, and look you can make a heart on top uwu, and then throw the foam away I guess"

CHRIST

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Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Okay, got it: my roommate's just being insane as usual. Thanks.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Man, gently caress this thread title, ever since I bookmarked it "Unbreak My Heart" keeps getting stuck in my head

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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This is not an improvement

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Wanna eat those coffee cherries.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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A whole bowl of old maids, smh

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Of course the joke in all 49 other states is that "hey don't worry, this thing only causes cancer if you're in California. So we're fine"

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Roommate has decided that the best way to get French press coffee in a hurry is to press the plunger starting at about 1 minute, but push it up and down several times.

Result: sludge (but he's not about to admit he's doing anything wrong)

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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just microwave it geeez

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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bizwank posted:

That's a solid buy for $15, congrats. On a machine that old with an unknown maintenance history there's a good chance the heating element has a good coating of scale on it (which is preventing the boiler from getting as hot as it should), and once it gets to that point you usually can't remove it just by descaling. The next step would probably be to pull the boiler apart and inspect/clean it, but you're going to want to make sure you can get all the gaskets for re-assembly first as you most likely won't be able to re-use the ones that are in there now. If you don't want to risk rendering the machine completely unusable, those electric milk frothing pitchers are cheap, foolproof and actually make a nice tight foam.

Can confirm, I just got one of those milk frothers and it's changed my life. A fraction of the hassle, a million times more consistent, and 100% less dependent on weird obscure foaming skills that I don't have. A steal at $40

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

Got a specific rec?

Mine is the Souvia. Its results are the same as the above posts

https://www.amazon.com/Souvia-Autom...035966046&psc=1

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Just wanted to add some photo evidence to the talk about milk frothers producing foam that can support a spoon


Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Yeah I've just been cranking mine to the top of the temp range and letting it go auto. Guess I've learned what the whole rest of the control range is for then lol

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Going back to milk frother chat

We've been using a Souvia https://www.amazon.com/Souvia-Automatic-Milk-Frother-Machine/dp/B0787F664Y for a few months now, and it does what I think is a good job, but the results vary a lot, depending mostly on (I believe) the milk. I've been going between like three different brands of milk (always whole) from various grocery stores until we found one that would froth reliably, but then abruptly about three weeks ago that brand just stopped frothing. It spins and cavitates and runs the whole cycle as normal, but then the stuff you pour out is just slightly bubbly milk.

I think it's because of some seasonal change in the milk producer. My roommate however believes the Souvia has suddenly shat itself, and he went out and bought what he believed to be a significant upgrade, the Nespresso Aeroccino https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/nespresso-reg-aeroccino-4-milk-frother/1061347038

And ... this thing DOES NOT FROTH. At all. Never. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I've tried the "good" milk across two cartons now, as well as two other brands, and a 2% version of the good brand. It looks like it SHOULD be working, the spinner spins for like 3 minutes and makes a nice whirlpool, but then I end up inevitably with just a couple ounces of hot milk.

I've read all the FAQs and gone through the instructions cover to cover; there should be no trick to this. I've cleaned the machine, I've re-seated the agitator, I've tried all the different buttons for different froth settings ... but nothing. It just makes hot milk.

I now have a fridge full of way more types of milk than I can drink before it all goes bad, and $200 worth of milk frothers that no longer work. Anybody have any ideas or insights into the grim world of dairy and the dark forces that have apparently sapped it of its ability to froth?

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Yes, that is attached.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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bizwank posted:

There's something wrong with your pitcher then, I'd call support/return it. I've got one of those and with the spring insert it makes a super dense foam I practically have to spoon out.

Thanks, it's good to have some comparison data to work with. I've found in the last couple of days that some of the whole milk (and I also tried light cream, with similar results) gets me a bit of foam, but it just pours, it's not enough that I have to spoon out. Compared to the Souvia (which would make like 1.5" of structural foam I could build a gingerbread house on) it's nothing.

I wonder what could possibly be faulty though, it literally just spins the deely

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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torgeaux posted:

Lower fat milks foam better.

I mean maybe, but the 2% version of the same brand / same expiration date of the whole milk I usually get produced no foam at all, whereas the whole is actually doing ok now after having run the machine a few times (and using the fourth button instead of the third one). Trying to vary only one variable at a time in this experiment is maddening

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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The laugh that this page has started my day off with nearly makes coffee superfluous

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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I thought hipster was played out by like 1958

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Jhet posted:

Or, he could just type in his passcode instead of being a gigantic gaping rear end in a top hat. It’s only 4-6 numbers, it’s not difficult.

Guy like that, you know it's 4 at most

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Why do I just immediately assume this is Norm MacDonald

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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“Unsweet”

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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AKA Pseudonym posted:

Just bought an espresso machine but I don't have the sort of fancy pants grinder that deposits grounds directly into the basket, so I just try to do by hand. Any tips in filling a portafilter without making a gigantic mess of my counter?

Sorry but my brain conjured up an image of a grinder that doesn't have a dispenser bin, you just have to hold your hand cupped under it and catch the grounds

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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I always find it funny to recall that around 2000 "arabica" was seen as an exotic and almost narcotic variety of coffee, at least according to Coach McGuirk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noxlTCXxNq4

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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I spent a year trying and failing to learn how to do it and eventually just bought a frother.

I assume it's down to the equipment because it looks absolutely butt-simple when a pro does it. Just stick it in and swirl it around for a couple seconds while you take someone else's order and boom

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Jestery posted:

Measure with calipers
Mark with chalk
Cut with axe

lol my favorite thing to toss out in a slack chat

("Measure with micrometer" is my version)

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Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Milk Frothers is a good username, pronounced like Smothers Brothers

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