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I know that murder mysteries of this sort are supposed to make it plausible that anyone could be the killer and thus introduce some darkness into all the characters, but everything I've read about The Loft makes it seem like they pushed way too far in that direction and I'd probably be okay with it if, at the end, some corrupt cops showed up and arrested all five of them for it and coerced confessions out of all of them.
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Feb 10, 2015 06:32
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I was warned against it, but I didn't listen... I watched Da Hip Hop Witch from 2000. A whopping 1.7/10 on IMDB and a 21% on RT. I'll say something really positive about it: The closing credits are very good. That's not even a joke, they do something sort of cool with them. But as for the film, itself, it's so hard to even criticize since there's not really a coherent story. I can't even say for certain if there was an actual script or not. So much of the film seems to revolve around a 4 different plots of a seemingly scripted story of a young woman working for a media company of some kind who is investigating DHHW,, another seemingly scripted story of 5 WHITE KIDS AND A PUG (you will hear this all through the last 30 minutes of the movie), some sort of internal rap mogul power struggle and then about 50 different musical performers of various degrees of popularity just doing some of the worst acting and dialogue that I can't help but think it was all done on the fly and improvised. The last 5 minutes of the film seem to literally try to take it from being a bad Blair Witch-inspired film and go full out into just becoming a self-parody, referencing in just a few moments Scream, Sixth Sense and Blair Witch in quick succession. Despite the reports that Eminem apparently tried to get his part removed from the film, I hate to say it, he's maybe the best performer out of anyone and his recounts of the Witch make up maybe the largest role in the film. The story he tells feels a lot more prepared and paced than most of the other performers, despite really just being about him spending 10 minutes to describe how a witch put her fingers in his rear end and molested him while he was drugged.
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Feb 10, 2015 12:07
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JediTalentAgent posted:I was warned against it, but I didn't listen... I hadn't ever heard of this movie, but goddamn if that last paragraph hasn't pushed it the top of my to-watch list.
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Feb 10, 2015 19:33
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Thaddius the Large posted:I hadn't ever heard of this movie, but goddamn if that last paragraph hasn't pushed it the top of my to-watch list. One thing about this is that they break it up into like a half-dozen different scenes throughout the movie, so it's not one long consistent scene. There are a lot of supercuts of these clips on youtube, though. Most of the other musicians are just featured for a about a single 10-30 second shot-on-video thing where they talk to a camera in a dimly lit location or out in the street, a few get revisited now and then. There are a few odd cameos in the movie, too, as Vitamin C shows up in blurry footage early on to talk about how she was assaulted, too. Vanilla Ice similarly has a few appearances. But they're almost all the same thing, where probably 80% of the film dialogue is people shouting at a camera about the witch and everyone just trying to inconsistently describe some monster. Oh, and apparently, the witch turns out to be Vanilla Ice AKA Rob Van Winkle , I guess. It's horrible, though. I'm almost quoting verbatim what another poster said, but it's not even good in a 'it's so bad it's good' way
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Feb 10, 2015 22:40
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Glamorama26 posted:I misread this initially and thought it said The Lift. The prospect of a high budget remake of a Dutch killer elevator movie peaked my interest. You know the director of "The Lift" did make a US remake of it a few years back, right?
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Feb 10, 2015 23:59
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Davros1 posted:You know the director of "The Lift" did make a US remake of it a few years back, right? Considering the quality of that remake, he was probably better off not knowing... Besides, the original will always have the best tagline: "Take the stairs! Take the stairs! For God's sake, take the stairs!" Like, yeah, that's probably a good way to avoid a killer elevator.
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Feb 14, 2015 21:47
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I think one of my favourite kinds of bad movies are the kinds that think they are much smarter than they are. The Genius Club is incredibly comical because it involves a not very smart man thinking he can solve all the worlds problems, creating characters who are "the smartest people in the world" and having them all agree with him. On top of that, Stephen Baldwin plays a skateboarding pizza guy who is the smartest man in the world. It's self-indulgent, terribly acted and hilarious. On the other hand, there are movies like The Philosophers. It is kind of like the Genius Club in that it involves a not very bright writer thinking writing about how smart they are via genius mouthpieces, however unlike the Genius Club it is actually pretty infuriating. The Genius Club is so dumb that all you can do is laugh at it, but The Philosophers has some decent acting, looks fantastic and has passable dialogue. It's just that, every point every character makes is dumb and simple but is treated as logically perfect. Example; a unch of philosophy students in part of a thought experiment are given jobs and they have to decide who would be the most useful 10 people to have with them in a bunker in a nuclear apocalypse. At one point, one of the characters says that having an astronaut is useless because they aren't going into space, ignoring the fact that to be an astronaut you have to have a plethora of useful skills besides "existing in space". One student is given the job of ice cream maker, with no other useful skills, so the teacher is essentially just saying "no, student 10, you are explicitly not allowed to pass this text" (oh yeah, he grades each student on how they perform even though he gives some of them impossible roles). Whereas Genius Club is goofy and enjoyable, the Philosophers is a movie that my friends and I found ourselves really hating, but being unable to look away. Another movie that kinds fits the bill is "God's Not Dead", which quickly flits between making dumb philosophical arguments and being funny to being outright offensive to minorities and feeling uncomfortably superior. Anyone got any other suggestions for movies that kinda fit the bill here?
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Feb 15, 2015 17:03
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Calico Heart posted:I think one of my favourite kinds of bad movies are the kinds that think they are much smarter than they are. These are perhaps the worst movies of all. Bunraku and Now You See Me come to mind.
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Feb 15, 2015 19:53
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Now You See Me was light and stupid, but wasn't bad. Showgirls is aggressively bad. I will spot you Bunraku as pretty terrible though.
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Feb 15, 2015 20:01
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OneThousandMonkeys posted:These are perhaps the worst movies of all. Bunraku and Now You See Me come to mind. Funny Games is one of the few movies I can genuinely say that I hated every minute of, for this exact reason.
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Feb 15, 2015 20:03
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exquisite tea posted:Funny Games is one of the few movies I can genuinely say that I hated every minute of, for this exact reason. Eh, whatever else you can say about it Funny Games achieved exactly what it wanted. Now, wanted to make you sad and annoyed may not be the most noble goal, but still.
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Feb 16, 2015 00:29
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Funny Games loving ruled. The whole thing is a blatant "gently caress you" to the viewer and that's beautiful.
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Feb 16, 2015 00:40
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XIII posted:Funny Games loving ruled. The whole thing is a blatant "gently caress you" to the viewer and that's beautiful. ..lmao
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Feb 16, 2015 00:55
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