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Tars Tarkas
Apr 13, 2003

Rock the Mok



A nasty woman, I think you should try is, Jess.


The film has a Weird Al impersonator in jail for being "Too Weird", along with dozens of other random things written on the background. Again, this is how an old guy does parody.


And I've watched it probably a dozen times, including three times in a theater.

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OldTennisCourt
Sep 11, 2011

by VideoGames

Tars Tarkas posted:

The film has a Weird Al impersonator in jail for being "Too Weird", along with dozens of other random things written on the background. Again, this is how an old guy does parody.


And I've watched it probably a dozen times, including three times in a theater.

Dear mother of god why on earth would you do that to yourself?

Madkal
Feb 11, 2008

I believe in all the ways that they say you can lose your body
Fallen Rib
I would like to suggest two movies. Firstly Karate Kid pt. 3 and RoboCop 2.

In regards to RoboCop 2 its been years since I saw it and the only thing I really remember about it was that the bad robot had the brain of psychopath because someone thought that would be a good idea.

In regards to Karate Kid pt.3 I saw it on TV a few months ago and I could not help but cringe in pain at how bad it is, especially compared to the first one. The main character becomes a (even more) whiny jerk who disregards any development gained from the past movies. Seriously I found myself actively rooting against him, which is not something that should be done in a Karate Kid film. The main villain is almost a parody of all rich assholes. I expected him to burn down an orphanage just because he is evil.
Overall, watching this movie compared to watching the first one is like an experiment in the meaning of the word oppisites".

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Madkal posted:

I would like to suggest two movies. Firstly Karate Kid pt. 3 and RoboCop 2.

In regards to RoboCop 2 its been years since I saw it and the only thing I really remember about it was that the bad robot had the brain of psychopath because someone thought that would be a good idea.

In regards to Karate Kid pt.3 I saw it on TV a few months ago and I could not help but cringe in pain at how bad it is, especially compared to the first one. The main character becomes a (even more) whiny jerk who disregards any development gained from the past movies. Seriously I found myself actively rooting against him, which is not something that should be done in a Karate Kid film. The main villain is almost a parody of all rich assholes. I expected him to burn down an orphanage just because he is evil.
Overall, watching this movie compared to watching the first one is like an experiment in the meaning of the word oppisites".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ldb4Do-j04&feature=player_detailpage#t=23s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ldb4Do-j04&feature=player_detailpage#t=52s

sethsez
Jul 14, 2006

He's soooo dreamy...

Going back a bit, but...

OneThousandMonkeys posted:

This horrible character needs its own exhibit in the Hall of lovely Movies. Lee plays Beaver, a tactless, juvenile moron who attempts through the course of the movie to make "gently caress me Freddy" a catchphrase with the audience. He eats peanut butter out of the jar with his fingers. He drops infantile curse phrases like "bitch-in-a-buzzsaw" and other things that would be cool if you rode a skateboard and were in dire need of being shot in the head.

This sounds surprisingly accurate to Stephen King's usual "folksy" bullshit. Coming up with bizarre curses that nobody anywhere has ever actually said is practically a pastime of his, and it's usually one of the first things to get cut out of his film adaptations.

Black Lighter
Sep 6, 2010

Just keep looking at what we're doing, keep watering and ask yourselves first and know 'Are you watering? And are you fertilizing every day?' So when it's time to pop, it'll pop.

Encryptic posted:

Wonderful. Now I'm never going to be able to stop wondering if Mario is really a Goombah.

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack Koopas on fire off the shoulder of Chocolate Island. I watched dragon coins glitter in the dark near the Yellow Switch Palace. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in lava... Time to press start."



You've done a man's job, sir!

ServoMST3K
Nov 30, 2009

You look like a Cracker Jack box with a bad prize inside

OldTennisCourt posted:

The movie is like 90% gross out humor, it's loving disgusting. Don't know about parody though.

This will be the last thing I post about it, but there is barely any "gross out" "humor" in the entire movie. Most of it is the Garbage Pail Kids trying to make clothes for a fashion show, and some annoying kid getting pushed around by stereotypical 80s bullies. I would re-watch it to make sure my memory isn't going down the shitter but I have better movies to watch, like Mansquito.

Robert Denby
Sep 9, 2007
Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, huh? Nah, get fucked mate.

Payndz posted:

Lifeforce is one of those movies with an interesting core concept, executed really badly. It often feels like pages were randomly torn out of the script during shooting to save money... oh, wait, it's a Cannon production. There you go.

I heartily disagree. Like OneThousandMonkeys said, "Lifeforce" is legitimately awesome. With as many genres and moods as the movie tries to tackle, it seems like it's about to go completely off the rails at any given moment... but it doesn't. It remains coherent, even with all the craziness, and keeps topping itself. There's not a dull moment, and the surprises really don't stop. It's one of the very few Canon pictures that legitimately works on a level other than 'hilariously bad'. Goons, do yourself a huge favor and watch it. After you're done, go over the movie again in your head and mentally list out just how many genres you saw at work.

I agree about "Invaders From Mars" though. That one sucks.

Madkal posted:

RoboCop 2.

I saw this for the first time a couple of years ago and it's every bit as bad as it's reputation suggests. Instead of having focus, the movie is a string of sub-plots that lazily flow together, there's a ton of corny jokes, and the kid. The loving kid. This is a character put in purely for shock value who is a 10-12 year old boy, a drug dealer's right hand man, who not only shoots and kills people, but also garrotes Nancy Allen, while saying, "I hope you choke, bitch!" Not even Uwe Boll's "Postal" stooped that loving low. It's a mean, repulsive movie. I will say this... the stunts are alright, the stop-motion is good on it's own, and it does have that single funny scene with the failed Robocop replacements, but other than that it's an unpleasant mess. Oh, and Irvin Kershner went on record as saying it's the reason he never directed another movie.

Robert Denby fucked around with this message at 03:38 on Sep 28, 2011

TOOT BOOT
May 25, 2010

Why did we need a live-action Mario Bros. movie in the first place? Just make an animated one.

Horns
Nov 4, 2009
Oh jeez, Dreamcatcher. I saw this in theaters because a) I had free tickets and b) the Matrix CG short Final Flight of the Osiris played after (this was before I saw the Matrix sequels and actually still cared a little bit about the franchise).

The only thing I remember about the movie specifically is the entire theater cracking up when the retarded kid shouts "I DUDDITS!" And then I think he transformed into a giant space maggot or something...?

Dreamcatcher was a loving dumb movie.

step aside
Sep 21, 2011
But I'm a Cheerleader


This movie mocks the idiocy of homophobia and ex-gay camps and also has a cute, if predictable love story ending. I adore this movie. It's silly and campy but the casting is pretty good and it's just so drat adorable. It may not be a true classic movie but everybody I know that has seen it has loved it. The cheer scene at the end makes me stupidly mushy.

The critics apparently absolutely hated it, though. It's got a 38 on Metacritic and a 34 on Rotten Tomatoes. Later on, Metacritic featured it in an article about movies the critics got wrong. Funny enough, the audience scores are really different as well - 91 on Metacritic and 74 on Rotten Tomatoes.

While I'm sure some people were put off by it being a queer movie, what really cracks me up is the people lining up to say "NOT HOMOPHOBIC BUT..." and then cry about how the film isn't nice to heterosexuals.

quote:

Nowadays, a straight film that makes homosexuality look repulsive would come in for justifiable criticism, and there's no reason a gay film that makes heterosexuality look unnatural—and tasteless—should be judged by a different standard.

Apparently it's not fair if lesbians aren't in to sucking face with dudes.

There are multiple quotes about how it "works against its goals" and how it's actually homophobic and helps to justify homophobia and... I don't even know. Also, it's

-painfully overextended
-smug
-sniggeringly one-sided
-shallow
-Tedious and trite
-Repetitive and tedious
-Relentlessly offensive
-Poisonously smug

Struck a nerve, did it?

step aside fucked around with this message at 06:23 on Sep 28, 2011

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
I'm sort of glad to see Hudson Hawk on that list. I haven't seen it in about 8 years, but I do recall that it was pretty fun and light and it really came across as a sort of precursor to the fun spy camp of the Austin Powers films.

I still remember for most of the 90s, though, how the film was REALLY unpopular. It only seemed like recent years that some of the perception towards it has softened. I think I need to actually watch the whole thing through, again, something I haven't done since the year it came out.

JediTalentAgent fucked around with this message at 06:33 on Sep 28, 2011

TrustMeImAStomach
Sep 4, 2011

TOOT BOOT posted:

Why did we need a live-action Mario Bros. movie in the first place? Just make an animated one.

Because the world needed it. The standard needed to be set for all producers and all movie-goers to establish that this video game poo poo is generally a bad thing to touch.

Also, they already had the Super Mario Bros Super Show, so an animated movie would probably come off as overkill.

Rake Arms
Sep 15, 2007

It's just not the same without widescreen.
I would accept a live action Mario movie on the following conditions:

-It actually adheres mostly to the game
-It's done in the tongue-in-cheek style of Scott Pilgrim/Speed Racer
-Edgar Wright directs it

DNS
Mar 11, 2009

by Smythe

jisforjosh posted:

Rather than look at biggest losses I decided to find what movie made back the smallest portion of its budget.Cutthroat Island, while having the highest net loss after inflation adjustment, made back 16% of the budget.

I give you Revolution a 1985 drama set in the American Revolution starring Al Pacino and Donald Sutherland. It holds an 8% on RT but the money numbers are what makes it for me.The movie cost $28 million but only took in $358,574 at the box office meaning it only recouped 1.3% of its budget.

Revolution was such a disaster that Pacino didn't make another movie for 4 years.

redjenova posted:

The Last Airbender was simply appalling. I've never seen such flagrant disregard for basic film editing rules (like dont make every high paced action scene a ten minute long unbroken leisurely single shot).

I dunno, that sounds like it could be pretty killer if it's executed right. Obviously it wasn't, but part of me wants to give him credit for trying.

Baron von Eevl
Jan 24, 2005

WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR

🔊😴
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

Alec Baldwin's Prosthetic Nose Knows!



The Shadow is a 1994 adaptation of the classic radio serial and series of pulp novels that revolves around Lamont Cranston (Baldwin), a debonair socialite who fights crime on the side. HMMMMMMMM. :nolan:

The Shadow has mastered mental powers that allow him to read minds, move some objects, change his appearance or even become invisible. He is at the heart of an international network that are in his service and apparently number Peter Boyle and a doctor.

In 1930's New York, the last descendant of Ghengis Kahn named Shiwan Kahn arrives in the tomb of his ancestor with the intention of conquering the world. He finds Cranston to ask him to join him using their combined psychic powers. Cranston also falls in love with the daughter of leading physicist Dr. Lane and must stop Kahn's atomic bomb-related plot.



The movie holds up significantly better than I remembered or expected. It currently has a 5.7 on IMDB, and RT and MC seem not to have any listings for it. The pulp 30's feel meshes extremely well with the stupid 90's aesthetics. The costumes, set design and much of the casting is fantastic, the score is better than it has any right to be and a few of the shot compositions are wonderful. The biggest thing keeping this movie from being a self-aware masterpiece is the effects-work. Although somewhat impressive for 1994, they don't hold up the way 1993's Jurassic Park do. Many of the knife scenes simply look embarrassing. Did I mention there's a sentient flying knife?



'Cause there is.

DNS
Mar 11, 2009

by Smythe
I loved The Shadow when I was a kid. The movie really came along at the perfect time for me, because I was a 9-year old who loved Batman: The Animated Series and it sorta had a similar vibe but with PG-13 violence. The Shadow was just an incredibly cool hero, with the silver .45s and his huge beak extending past the red mask. I haven't seen it since then but I remember it pretty decently. That cheesy flying knife was pretty scary to me, especially when it bit Alec Baldwin while he was holding it. I'm watching the trailer now and the production values still look great. I also remember some pretty energetic camera work in that movie.

A few years later I ended up flipping through some of the Sienkiewicz & Baker Shadow comics from the 80s and was... unsettled by their content, to say the least.

BioTech
Feb 5, 2007
...drinking myself to sleep again...


I saw the Shadow when it was released and loved it, but when I gave it another shot last week I found it pretty disappointing. It just seems to skip certain steps to make the story feel natural.

Lamont is introduced as a merciless drug lord somewhere in Asia that slaughtered a village and has his guards shoot a farmer that rebels despite his own advisor/friend being in the way, killing them both. He gets kidnapped by some guys and is stabbed in his leg by the flying knife while a monk babbles on about powers of the soul and evil men.

Suddenly it is one year later and he is fighting crime. Why did he have the change of heart? How did he learn his tricks? I could do without a training montage to be honest, but why would I root for the guy who butchers people? Because he got stabbed? Was that all he needed to change? They never show this, it just happens and Baldwin's smile is supposed to convince you he is the good guy.

His love interest is horrible in every way possible and really gets on your nerves. The bomb rolling through the hotel looks so riduclous that it is slapstick. He has shot some holes to breathe while drowning in the dome, but stops before his bullets run out and just waits for the mentally summoned girl to show up.

It just goes on with all these things that don't work and the result is a completely bland movie that seems to miss important parts.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World
The Shadow did have this classic exchange going for it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmf4cWBJW70&feature=youtu.be&t=7m1s

weekly font
Dec 1, 2004


Everytime I try to fly I fall
Without my wings
I feel so small
Guess I need you baby...



I saw the Shadow in theatres as a youngster and remembered liking it. When I saw it again - oof. That did NOT hold up.

And in all the dicussion of Dreamcatcher I can't believe no one mentioned the fact that it's basically Stephen King remixing his own work. It's almost an alternate reality version of It.

SuperMechagodzilla
Jun 9, 2007

NEWT REBORN

weekly font posted:

And in all the dicussion of Dreamcatcher I can't believe no one mentioned the fact that it's basically Stephen King remixing his own work. It's almost an alternate reality version of It.
That's why I really can't bring myself to hate the movie. It's a very close adaptation in the sense that it amplifies King's stylistic quirks where others would try to downplay them. So it ends up being this amazing comedy to me, with King's terrible dialogue, characters and rote (for King) plotting take the forefront in an otherwise totally inexplicable sci-fi movie. The 'action scene' where Morgan Freeman in a helicopter with supervillain make-up just guns down a bunch of unarmed alien women and children is pure gold.

"What kind of a dog, what kind of a monster could hear that heartbreak and go in just the same?. Well, I'm that dog. I'm that monster. These mothers are as harmless as a fox in a henhouse, and I'm here to kick some rear end!"

Eggie
Aug 15, 2010

Something ironic, I'm certain
I haven't rewatched Super Mario Bros. in a little while but I think it's an okay movie. Ignoring how unlike the games it is, it makes an... interesting adventure film. Also, it had atmosphere. I wonder if the creators had a story lying around then got asked to make a Super Mario movie and just switched some names in the script around.

SuperMechagodzilla
Jun 9, 2007

NEWT REBORN

Eggie posted:

I wonder if the creators had a story lying around then got asked to make a Super Mario movie and just switched some names in the script around.

Folks say things like this, but the almost-genius of the Mario Bros movie's script is how literally it translates the Mario universe into comically 'gritty' realism. The Mario Bros really are battling a tyrannical dictator in a land of dinosaurs where people eat fungus.

The only trouble is that they didn't go far enough, and had to include a backstory with parallel universe and pseudo-evolution hoopla to "explain" everything. (The film itself plays this pseudoscience for comedy anyway, so why not exclude it altogether?) It would have worked infinitely better if they were simply heroic plumbers in this dystopian world, like De Niro's character in Brazil.

Also, the effects really weren't up to par with what they were trying to accomplish. A truly successful Mario movie would have included killer plants like in Minority Report, and genuine turtle-guards, without the explanation that they're using a de-evolution ray or whatever. The trouble really is that they were trying to make a Brazil with the tone or content of something like Honey I Shrunk the Kids, or a similar 90s high concept kids' comedy. It ends up overloaded with cheese and snark, where both Honey and Brazil are horrifying scenarios kept in check by their comical absurdism.

They didn't trust the premise enough to make it a sincere effort, so the only real joke of the Mario Bros movie is how lovely it is.

Name Change
Oct 9, 2005


I did think the goombas/koopas were kind of terrifying, for what that's worth. Also I can't remember, was Yoshi basically a tyrannosaur?

OldTennisCourt
Sep 11, 2011

by VideoGames

OneThousandMonkeys posted:

I did think the goombas/koopas were kind of terrifying, for what that's worth. Also I can't remember, was Yoshi basically a tyrannosaur?

Yeah, he was a baby T-Rex.

bobkatt013
Oct 8, 2006

You’re telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Robert Denby posted:

I saw this for the first time a couple of years ago and it's every bit as bad as it's reputation suggests. Instead of having focus, the movie is a string of sub-plots that lazily flow together, there's a ton of corny jokes, and the kid. The loving kid. This is a character put in purely for shock value who is a 10-12 year old boy, a drug dealer's right hand man, who not only shoots and kills people, but also garrotes Nancy Allen, while saying, "I hope you choke, bitch!" Not even Uwe Boll's "Postal" stooped that loving low. It's a mean, repulsive movie. I will say this... the stunts are alright, the stop-motion is good on it's own, and it does have that single funny scene with the failed Robocop replacements, but other than that it's an unpleasant mess. Oh, and Irvin Kershner went on record as saying it's the reason he never directed another movie.

You missed the best part about the kid. At the end when he is dying they try to make you feel sympathy for him. It was really jarring and misplaced.

exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."


step aside posted:

But I'm a Cheerleader

I liked But I'm a Cheerleader. It's a cute little movie that doesn't take itself too seriously. It also introduced me to this song. Surprised to hear that it's so critically reviled, given that it doesn't particularly stand out from other movies in the lesbian romantic comedy genre.

Cinnamon Bastard
Dec 15, 2006

But that totally wasn't my fault. You shouldn't even be able to put the car in gear with the bar open.

SuperMechagodzilla posted:

Folks say things like this, but the almost-genius of the Mario Bros movie's script is how literally it translates the Mario universe into comically 'gritty' realism. The Mario Bros really are battling a tyrannical dictator in a land of dinosaurs where people eat fungus.

I vouch for it not because it's "gritty", but because it's like peering into the nightmarish fever-dream that a 9 year old would have after doing nothing but playing Mario games and eating sugar for an entire saturday.

Sure, everything was weird, but it was all just nightmare-twisted versions of the game. My favorite example is how Bowser dies. He's in a bowl shaped metal container, held aloft over the ground, is a huge dinosaur, and mario takes him out by tossing a bomb into the container with him.

That's the goddamn ending of Super Mario World.


Seriously, I know it's a rewrite of some unrelated post-apocalyptic film, but it turned out exactly like one of my weird, unsettling "inspired by movie _____" dreams. It's not a GOOD film. It just has merits. On the other hand, it has some lines that are criminal.

On the other-other hand, it has Dennis Hopper ordering pizza by shooting his TV with a realistic looking gun, and then demanding/getting updates on the status of it's delivery for the rest of the film.

http://koopa.ytmnd.com/


Then again, Dennis is usually the best part of every film ever...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLUpbbYdjf0

Hakkesshu
Nov 4, 2009


Cinnamon Bastard posted:

Sure, everything was weird, but it was all just nightmare-twisted versions of the game. My favorite example is how Bowser dies. He's in a bowl shaped metal container, held aloft over the ground, is a huge dinosaur, and mario takes him out by tossing a bomb into the container with him.

That's the goddamn ending of Super Mario World.

I briefly thought this was a genius touch that I had never considered. But if you remember, that's not quite what happened. The bob-omb launches him into the container after which they blast him with the devolution ray and turn him into ooze.

As much as I want it to be a recreation of the SMW final battle, I don't think that's what they were going for :smith:

Cinnamon Bastard
Dec 15, 2006

But that totally wasn't my fault. You shouldn't even be able to put the car in gear with the bar open.
Oh. :smith:

Honestly, I've only rewatched it once since I saw it in theaters as a kid, and by that point I'd had 5 beers so I'm not surprised that I got it wrong, I was probably barely paying attention at that point.

Oh well. It still plays out like a nightmare inspired by the games.

Name Change
Oct 9, 2005


quote:

Then again, Dennis is usually the best part of every film ever...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLUpbbYdjf0

My dark secret is that I really enjoy Waterworld, mainly because of Dennis Hopper. Leaving out all the extraneous theatrics like the budget issues, Costner's weird creative baggage, and what was probably one of the most awful shoots to work on in Hollywood history, it's just a fun movie to me.

Dr Monkeysee
Oct 11, 2002

just a fox like a hundred thousand others
Nap Ghost

SuperMechagodzilla posted:

Also, the effects really weren't up to par with what they were trying to accomplish.

I felt bad for them at the time. I remember reading an interview in Nintendo Power with the effects team about how excited they were over their animatronic Yoshi and how it was really pushing the industry forward and like a week later BAM! Jurassic Park comes out.

Not only did it completely overshadow their effects work, it specifically overshadowed their work in creating a compelling on-screen dinosaur.

Black Lighter
Sep 6, 2010

Just keep looking at what we're doing, keep watering and ask yourselves first and know 'Are you watering? And are you fertilizing every day?' So when it's time to pop, it'll pop.

step aside posted:

But I'm a Cheerleader

-painfully overextended
-sniggeringly one-sided
-shallow
-Tedious and trite
-Repetitive and tedious
-Poisonously smug

Struck a nerve, did it?

See, I saw this movie back when it came out and, yeah, those all seem like perfectly valid criticisms to me, and you can throw "blunt", "toothless" and "seemingly edited with a sledgehammer" on top. Just because some of the critics who gave it a bad review might have been homophobic (I'm not wading through the reviews to find out if that was actually the case) doesn't make it a good movie.

deetron69
Jan 18, 2005

Hakkesshu posted:

I briefly thought this was a genius touch that I had never considered. But if you remember, that's not quite what happened. The bob-omb launches him into the container after which they blast him with the devolution ray and turn him into ooze.

As much as I want it to be a recreation of the SMW final battle, I don't think that's what they were going for :smith:

If you watch the Super Mario movie right after the Long Good Friday, it's a bit of a mindfuck to watch Bob Hoskins in both. Kinda like watching Sexy Beast right after Gandhi.

computer parts
Nov 18, 2010

PLEASE CLAP

Oz Fox posted:

If you watch the Super Mario movie right after the Long Good Friday, it's a bit of a mindfuck to watch Bob Hoskins in both. Kinda like watching Sexy Beast right after Gandhi.

or watching Monster's Inc after The Big Lebowski.

Encryptic
May 3, 2007

computer parts posted:

or watching Monster's Inc after The Big Lebowski.

"Sometimes you just gotta say 'gently caress it, Boo. Let's go bowling'."

Rake Arms
Sep 15, 2007

It's just not the same without widescreen.

Encryptic posted:

"Sometimes you just gotta say 'gently caress it, Boo. Let's go bowling'."

When Sully does the crazy roar that scares Boo at the end, I dub it over in my head with him yelling "FORGET ABOUT THE loving TOE!"

OldTennisCourt
Sep 11, 2011

by VideoGames
This Nightmare remake is sort of boring honestly.

Yeet
Nov 18, 2005

- WE.IGE -

Horns posted:

Oh jeez, Dreamcatcher. I saw this in theaters because a) I had free tickets and b) the Matrix CG short Final Flight of the Osiris played after (this was before I saw the Matrix sequels and actually still cared a little bit about the franchise).

The only thing I remember about the movie specifically is the entire theater cracking up when the retarded kid shouts "I DUDDITS!" And then I think he transformed into a giant space maggot or something...?

Dreamcatcher was a loving dumb movie.

Haha, this brings me back. Our theatre giggled a little at that part, that was the dumbest thing I've ever seen. And I've seen The Room.

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Crackerman
Jun 23, 2005

Rake Arms posted:

When Sully does the crazy roar that scares Boo at the end, I dub it over in my head with him yelling "FORGET ABOUT THE loving TOE!"

Alternatively you could watch Barton Fink first, then Monsters Inc. So instead of the toe line you have "BECAUSE YOU. DON'T. LISTEN."

This is actually terrifying.

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