Dauntasa posted:

No. Those were literally the words he used.

Noblesse Obliged posted:

What is up with this emerging theme I'm seeing around the internet of "cuddles" being the hot thing.

I remember a news story about a woman offering "cuddling" services for money. And another post on these forums about some weird dude wanting to pay some woman to cuddle with him. (I can't remember if he wanted her to look in his eyes or not, either prospect was incredibly sad.)

Now this. Have we raised a bunch of kids, so obsessed with personal space and the spread of germs that we've actually made them crave physical contact in its most basic form?

Didn't they get hugs when they were kids?

Glasgow posted:

I think you mean the dude who literally paid a woman for something excruciating like 8 hours of cuddling, and also she was supposed to respond in the positive every time he said "I love you." After the whole thing was done he expressed disdain that she hadn't made eye-contact, implying that they had been cuddling in some sort of really uncomfortable face-to-face position for 8 hours. He ended it saying he was planning to pay her again for the same treatment. I can't even remember where I read this but it was somewhere here on the forums.

Glasgow posted:

I think you mean the dude who literally paid a woman for something excruciating like 8 hours of cuddling, and also she was supposed to respond in the positive every time he said "I love you." After the whole thing was done he expressed disdain that she hadn't made eye-contact, implying that they had been cuddling in some sort of really uncomfortable face-to-face position for 8 hours. He ended it saying he was planning to pay her again for the same treatment. I can't even remember where I read this but it was somewhere here on the forums.

fork bomb posted:

I finally got one!



e: Found this in the active household services area of my local craigslist. Seems like someone has recognized it for the gem it is and recommended it go in "best of."

proofreading's hard posted:

ESTABLISHED TATTOO STUDIO IS IN THE SEARCH FOR A LICENSED TATTOO ARTIST , THIS WILL BE A FULL TIME POSITION. MUST HAVE CREDENTIALS AND FULL PORTFOLIO.MUST BE-ABLE TO HANDLE HIGH VOLUME, BE NEAT, CLEAN, WELL MANURED. VERY SERIOUS INQUIRY'S ONLY. PLEASE EMAIL FOR FURTHER INFO.holyground13@...........gmail

Dauntasa posted:

No. Those were literally the words he used.

Psalmanazar posted:

Wasn't that just trying to cover his rear end because he totally didn't pick up a 16 year old diaper fetishist in an abusive relationship from fetlife for sex?

Tardcore posted:

I remember that, I think it was from a screenshot of the gamefaqs forums.

hyperhazard posted:

And yes, the website is a whole other nest of crazy.

quote:

Tattoo artsit (destin/fort walton-florida)

It's time now before spring break start we at just do it tattoo and island ink hiring for the season tattoo artist /body piercer throghou out the summer grate money ...good portfolio needed must have a shop experian
please if you are interested and want to make lot's of money this season please call jackie at 850-624-5722

Lawlicaust posted:

My town has the most... interesting personal ads. I thought the Reptar-fetish was bad but this one really stands out as the most shocking.

Lawlicaust posted:

nutranurse posted:

I do part-time work on a pig farm. Nothing that a pig can ever do will be sexy, and I suppose this goes double for when it's a fat chick imitating one.

fork bomb posted:

I feel bad for Patricia. Usually kids will go with a friend to prom if they don't have a "date" date. This craigslist ad means she either has no friend group or they all paired up and she was the odd one left out.

quote:

Are you Big Tall and Powerfully incredibly Strong? Big cash Read on (San Diego)
Are you Big, tall and incredibly powerfully strong? 500 cash for one day spent with me

Are you 6ft2 or taller? 250lbs or heavier?

Are you an open minded cool man? If so, this could be for you

I pay unusually powerfully strong men to lift and carry me in various ways

I'm 5ft8 205lbs of solid muscle, former powerlifter, mature man 51 yrs, and I PAY for Physical strength.

There would be nothing illegal, unethical, oe sexual going on whatsoever

I simply love feeling muscled/physical strength lift and carry me in various ways.

The taller and bigger you are, the more interested Ill be in paying you.

If your a weightlifter, powerlifter, worlds strongest man type, or just plain ole naturally strong as an ox, please reply.

I've been doing this for years and have many men that I pay to do this for me...and all are Straight guys....once you meet me in person, you will have no doubt that this is sincere.

I know this is odd, but it's an EASY way for a strong man to make xtra cash

send a pic of yourself, include your height weight, a short description of your Physical strength ability. Include your email address and contact nmber, best time to reach you.

I'll pay bonus cash besides the 500 depending on how strong you are..Ill go more into detail about that once we talk.

This is not a job, just a way to make xtra big time cash for being strong

Sizone posted:

vector posted:

moistninja posted:

Are these funny, stupid or both? I really like the idea for this thread and am surprised we aren't seeing more...

Mick Swagger posted:

It's hard to sift through all of the chaff.

Anyway, vintage 2010:

Manofmanusernames posted:

BumbleChump posted:

This one isn't so much the ad itself, but the keywords they use to get the most views. Did someone actually type all of this out!?

iamathousandapples posted:

Lawlicaust posted:

Manofmanusernames posted:

Manofmanusernames posted:

seems legit.

Manofmanusernames posted:

Lot of VHS tapes - FREE!

Date: 2012-09-30, 11:47AM EDT
It's finally happening. This is the moment you have been waiting for your entire life. What's that, you ask? Peace in the Middle East? Well. no. Official word on the Arrested Development movie? I wish! An end to the seemingly insurmountable polarized political climate that has stymied any conceivable progress in our country? Ha!

It's none of these things. But here's what is happening--I am FINALLY getting rid of my entire collection of VHS tapes. Hear me out.

As a kid, I was a huge nerd (or nerdette, as the case may be). A nerd who was obsessed with TV. It's probably inconceivable these days, but there was a time when a kid like me didn't have access to every episode of Full House at my fingertips. Viewers were slaves to the TV lineup. You either saw that episode of Alf when it aired or you had to find out what happened from your classmates at school the next day (for shame!). Armed with my family's VCR, equipped with a state-of-the-art auto-program function, the world was my oyster. I could tape things! And tape I did.

Now you can enjoy such classics as Edward Scissorhands, Children of the Corn, Pretty Woman, and The Great Muppet Caper. But that's not all!! The real beauty of these tapes are the hidden gems that lie within. You may think that you are just watching an ordinary version of Ghostbusters taped off HBO, but stay tuned! After the movie you might be treated to an episode of Growing Pains, followed by a snippet of The Sting! The Sound of Music may be great in and of itself, but think how much improved it is when it's followed by part of Nickelodeon's Kids Choice Awards from the 1990s and a few choice episodes of The Real World: Season 1! You may pop in Flatliners, only to find out how touching the series finale of Dawson's Creek really is. (Spoiler alert: Jen dies!) These tapes are replete with random episodes of TV shows and snippets of movies. Are you in the market for a VHS tape full of nothing but Buffy, Will and Grace, and Beavis and Butthead? You found it!

Some of the tapes will baffle you with their randomness. Pop in an unlabeled tape and see what you find! It just might be a mish-mash of Behind the Music: Jessica Simpson, South Park, the Jon Stewart Show circa 2004, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and some strange VH1 show starring Pauly Shore.

Did I alienate you with the Pauly Shore reference? Please keep reading. I swear whatever that show was, I did not tape it on purpose. But you know what I did tape on purpose? Every single episode of The Adventures of Pete and Pete. There, have I won back your trust and respect? Probably not.

Have I mentioned the news clips and commercials?? Sometimes they are better than the movies! We are talking references to the Clinton presidency (good times!) and the Unibomber while he was still at large!! If you have no idea who the Unibomber is, please stop reading. . .you do not deserve these tapes. The commercials for the "new" Honda Accord will make your own car seem like a friggin' DeLorean. (And yes, Back to the Future is on one of the tapes.)

There's also some personal history in there. If you are really diligent, you might find the news clip that features my sister's 4th grade class in the background in Newark, New Jersey's famous cherry blossom park! My sister was prominently featured, although I have taped over that particular portion with Beetlejuice. But you can still see some of her classmates at the tail end of the broadcast, after Beetlejuice ends.

Words cannot convey how much you need this collection. Hell, I'll even throw in my old VCR FOR FREE with the lot. I'm pretty sure it works and I might even be able to find the remote.

You may wonder why I am getting rid of these tapes. The truth is, at this point in my life they mostly just take up space and prove to be a hassle whenever I move. I need to spread the joy to others who can more fully appreciate them.

Here's the deal: you take these tapes off my hands. I'm giving them away. I do not want anything in return for this kindness. They are conveniently packed into cardboard boxes for easy transporting. But you have to take them ALL. This is an all-or-nothing, take-it-or-leave-it deal. I will throw in the VCR for free.
Location: Munjoy Hill - Portland
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

inconsequential posted:

Weird that this should pop up only a day after finishing Krakhauer's Under the Banner of Heaven



Totally real and unedited, I should learn to avoid Cincy's personals section but I just can't stay away.

Dingleberry posted:

"I'm not gay, I just want to shave you."

bummer dude posted:

Found this in general labor. http://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/lab/3759903216.html

Lewis Skolnick posted:

NO TALKING DURING THE SHOW lol

NoUU posted:

The Stalker Stopper travels the country and puts an end to pesky stalkers.

FirstAidKite posted:

These are probably the strangest ads I've seen from my area on craigslist.

Lawlicaust posted:

Creepy Hobo

Some dude posted:

Cryptocurrency/Bitcoin Discussion Group (Oxford)
We are within weeks or months of a complete financial collapse and destruction of the dollar....if you doubt this then you aren't paying attention ... not looking to convince anybody of anything anyway.

Will Bitcoin soar to thousands of dollars in value as Clif High of the webbot project and Max Keiser believe?? Or will it end up on the trash=heap of history.....much to contemplate and much to debate.

I'd like to explore the topics of collapse, post-collapse, what is money??, will gold and silver be the only currency or money left standing??

The Russians and Chinese seem to be preparing for a Gold Backed Currency to step in when the dollar is no longer the world reserve currency.

How will we survive?? What assets will survive?? What are the elites doing with their money now??

Fascinating subjects.

Lets get together for coffee or lunch or dinner or the library or park.....this topic attracts AWAKE people. Sheeple need not apply.

Thanks. Let's talk and see where we are led!!!!

Rapist posted:

Need to be shaved? - m4w (chatham)

Gentleman with lots of shaving women experience. It's so difficult to do it yourself. I'm not looking for sex, and there is no charge. The pleasure of shaving you is payment enough. If you want to have somebody there to chaperone, I have no problem with that. Better still, invite a lady friend, and chaperone each other.

I do not do "landing strips" or trims. It's a full bald shave, with baby oil applied afterward.

Ghostbuster posted:

Are You a Ghost Surfing the Web? - m4w - 38 (Triangle)
Documentary style program is looking to contact a ghost on the internet. If you are DEAD and reading this, please respond!

What is your name?
How did you pass away?
Why are you surfing the internet?
Location: Triangle
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

quote:

Sheeple need not apply. Let's talk and see where we are led!!!!