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Bad Bromance posted:Yo the warning was the first time CPS came by, was that not enough notice to start dismantling your garbage treasure trove They didn't give us a warning. They just said everything was fine.
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Dec 5, 2011 00:43
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 03:56 |
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Oh god are you a troll? That is completely filthy. Have you ever seen Hoarders?
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Dec 5, 2011 00:44
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So you have no job because you don't want your food stamps to run out, and your wife is skipping work because she's crying and creating water damage spots. And you can't find time to clean up??
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Dec 5, 2011 00:44
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How exactly did things get that bad? Does one or both of you have a massive issue with throwing things away?
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Dec 5, 2011 00:44
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How loving delusional do you have to be, to think that place isn't a dangerously disgusting environment for children? What the gently caress.
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Dec 5, 2011 00:45
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I realize now that your daughter was leaving on a Sunday because she wishes every day were school so that she can get out of the filth and live like a normal human being
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Dec 5, 2011 00:45
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I see food, drinks, diapers, and lots of toys for the little ones in those pictures. What is the problem?
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Dec 5, 2011 00:45
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WNxOddJob posted:I'm not saying it's not our fault. In fact, I agree, our house is a mess. A bad mess? Sure, probably. A dangerous instant take away kids mess? I don't personally think so. A warning would have sufficed to get us to clean. Yes, that environment is crazy unclean and unsafe -- how high are all those boxes stacked? What would happen if one fell on a kid? No, that's not just "some laundry" or "a few dishes." Yes, it would take you more than two weeks to clean up that mess. No, your five-year-old should not be able to get up, get out the front door, and be gone for hours without anyone noticing. No, your house should not have "soft spots" -- what does that mean, there are areas where you can't walk without falling through the floor? No kid should be brought up in that environment. I feel so bad for your kids.
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Dec 5, 2011 00:46
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i like nice words
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That cop was a jerk but I really doubt you could have that cleaned up in a week let alone one night.
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Dec 5, 2011 00:47
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To be clear, OP, your filthiness is actually very CPS-taking-away-your-children worthy. Such as those piled up poo poo, if your kids bumped into one and those stuff fall on them sometimes they probably can cause injury! Have you always been filthy? Why you're so filthy that you need CPS to remind you on how filthy you are? Hope that helps.
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Dec 5, 2011 00:47
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The cat shouldn't even be living there.
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Dec 5, 2011 00:47
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Look regardless of what you characterize the first visit as, CPS undoubtedly has something on the computer that says something like "warned about mess/garbage" or whatever, so they're look at this as a second offense type situation. Its doubtful you will have your parental rights terminated permanently, but drat you need to clean that crapshack and keep it clean. Even after you get the kids back its extremely likely there will be at least one follow-up visit down the road, probably without notice. I would start looking for a lawyer, and be prepared to do some parenting classes at least. If you can't afford a lawyer I would call whatever legal aid services you have in your state, if you call the state bar association they can usually direct you.
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Dec 5, 2011 00:48
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Do your guests immediately ask about your cats, even if none are in sight?
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Dec 5, 2011 00:49
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That's disgusting, I don't care if you're in the process of cleaning- you shouldn't have children there, and the fact that CPS was already there once for the state of the house should have been your first wake-up call. Get a good lawyer, sure, but for the love of god get some help and learn how to run a household. If people are sounding like jerks about this, it's because you have children who are subjected to that. Don't try and pass this off as small-town SD cops blowing things out of proportion, either.
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Dec 5, 2011 00:49
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You should probably seek mental health treatment because it's not normal to live like that.
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Dec 5, 2011 00:53
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I wish I could offer you advice on the CPS situation, OP, but this is just about the mess: A lot of that stuff seems to be stuff that isn't in use - Boxes that are beneath other boxes or haven't been opened or not even filled with anything, toys that haven't been played with for years, random plastic containers that are hard to identify, and so on and so forth. Just by throwing away the stuff that you won't ever use, your home could probably become 90% tidier almost instantly. Other than that, good luck with the hearing on Tuesday, and with the rest of the process.
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Dec 5, 2011 00:53
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Well, guess my kid just decided to get dressed and go to school on a Sunday for some reason. At least she didn't put her foot through the rotting floorboards or bump into any of the special Precariously Stacked Boxes I have in every corner of the house, and the cat on the bare mattress isn't even dead right now so what the hell cops
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Dec 5, 2011 00:54
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Fagnostic Gaytheist posted:You should probably seek mental health treatment because it's not normal to live like that. I agree on that as well. If you're at a point where you're living like that and rationalize it as a "couple plates out" and act like "soft spots" in the floor are just something you deal with, there's something big at play. If there are local resources for it, seek some family counseling.
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Dec 5, 2011 00:55
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I lived above some people in New Orleans who had two kids. They seemed nice enough, but the kids always seemed kind of dirty and their back patio was covered in dogshit. I had my suspicions, but calling CPS is a serious step. When they moved out, the landlord and I were chatting about them, and he took me in and showed me. Their walls were yellow from smoking inside, and the landlord said the first two coats of paint they put up had yellow cigarette smoke residue bleed through. The floors were dirty - actual dirt - and the carpets were torn and ragged. There were cigarette butts everywhere, and there was a 6" mound of literal dirt in one of the closets. I have no idea how it got there. Their place was squalid, and I regretted calling CPS. I hate to say it, because getting your kids taken away is hard - and it's way harder on the kids - but CPS needed to be involved here. Your place is not a fit home for children. Or for anyone, for that matter.
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Dec 5, 2011 00:55
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Make a box bed for the cat! Make a box bed for your kid. Make a box dress! Make a necklace out of a plate. Get a job. Paste foodstamps on the wall like a mosaic! Use your pony doll as a roomba. Get a reality show, call the cops and tell them they're stupid! Most of all make an internet thread and take a million pictures too. The world is your oyster and now you don't even have a shithead little kid to hold you back
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Dec 5, 2011 00:56
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I think the right decision was not having kids in your current situation. I don't wish anyone to have to raise multiple kids in a condition where the breadwinner of the family works fast food 3rd shift.
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Dec 5, 2011 00:56
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You'll probably end us getting your kids back relatively soon, and then you need to take this as a lesson to keep your place reasonably clean. You were already warned by CPS once and you don't have a job, so you really have no excuse. Also, don't kids need to be fed breakfast before 10 am (or however late you were planning on sleeping), even on a weekend? That's what I remember from my childhood.
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Dec 5, 2011 00:59
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Rounin posted:I wish I could offer you advice on the CPS situation, OP, but this is just about the mess: A lot of that stuff seems to be stuff that isn't in use - Boxes that are beneath other boxes or haven't been opened or not even filled with anything, toys that haven't been played with for years, random plastic containers that are hard to identify, and so on and so forth. Just by throwing away the stuff that you won't ever use, your home could probably become 90% tidier almost instantly. Yeah, anything in a box, a crate, or a basket can hit the curb. Also any used/empty food/drink containers. (I really shouldn't have to tell you that last one.)
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Dec 5, 2011 00:59
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Zachsta posted:
Not to mention that maybe if you have a 5 year old running around, you lose the luxury of sleeping in past 10am when they're awake and good to go early in the am. If the OP doesn't have a job, why exactly isn't this kid being monitored more carefully?
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Dec 5, 2011 01:02
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The only mistake CPS made here is not taking your kid away the first time. They will probably point you to resources for getting help with learning about how to take care of a household and how to take care of a child. For the love of god USE THEM.
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Dec 5, 2011 01:03
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You could always sue pepsi too mate
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Dec 5, 2011 01:04
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I Ozma Myself posted:Not to mention that maybe if you have a 5 year old running around, you lose the luxury of sleeping in past 10am when they're awake and good to go early in the am. If the OP doesn't have a job, why exactly isn't this kid being monitored more carefully? Yeah, if this were just a case of the kid running away and having a minor adventure but everything else was in order, I'm sure CPS would have left well enough alone. In this particular instance scenario, we have a combination of 1. The OP having been investigated before due to the house conditions 2. A 5 year old wandering around alone 3. The living conditions that resulted in a previous investigation still persist (and I suspect have gotten worse) You were lucky that the people that found your child did not harm him/her, OP.
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Dec 5, 2011 01:05
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I Ozma Myself posted:Not to mention that maybe if you have a 5 year old running around, you lose the luxury of sleeping in past 10am when they're awake and good to go early in the am. If the OP doesn't have a job, why exactly isn't this kid being monitored more carefully? To be fair his Minecraft house is probably pretty epic.
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Dec 5, 2011 01:06
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Rounin posted:I wish I could offer you advice on the CPS situation, OP, but this is just about the mess: A lot of that stuff seems to be stuff that isn't in use - Boxes that are beneath other boxes or haven't been opened or not even filled with anything, toys that haven't been played with for years, random plastic containers that are hard to identify, and so on and so forth. Just by throwing away the stuff that you won't ever use, your home could probably become 90% tidier almost instantly. Senior Woodchuck posted:Yeah, anything in a box, a crate, or a basket can hit the curb. Also any used/empty food/drink containers. (I really shouldn't have to tell you that last one.) Thanks. Also yes, the majority of it (I know it looks bad) -IS- empty boxes from when we moved in. They just...kind of never got moved out. I don't even know why. We just didn't. We're throwing away a bunch of stuff in the empty boxes now and the place is looking a ton better. We -will- probably have it done tonight. The dishes are nearly done, the living room looks great. The laundry won't be done tonight but, we'll see. Zachsta posted:You'll probably end us getting your kids back relatively soon, and then you need to take this as a lesson to keep your place reasonably clean. You were already warned by CPS once and you don't have a job, so you really have no excuse. She typically will come in and wake one of us up when she wakes up. Even more so if she's hungry. It's never been a problem before.
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Dec 5, 2011 01:06
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Cool Buff Man posted:You could always sue pepsi too mate They'll just send him some courtesy boxes of pepsi stuff, maybe he should wait on that.
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Dec 5, 2011 01:07
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Jumping on the "if you call that 'a little bit of clutter', there are some problems" bandwagon. Do what you can in a night, but it's looking pretty grim, and you should never allow a house to get to that stage ever, regardless of occupants. WNxOddJob posted:Also yes, the majority of it (I know it looks bad) -IS- empty boxes from when we moved in. They just...kind of never got moved out. I don't even know why. We just didn't. We're throwing away a bunch of stuff in the empty boxes now and the place is looking a ton better. We -will- probably have it done tonight. The dishes are nearly done, the living room looks great. The laundry won't be done tonight but, we'll see. Glad you're making some progress cleaning the place up but for the love of christ get ontop of this poo poo and seek the resources outlined by a few others in this thread, even if by some amazing luck you do get your kids back if CPS come back it'll likely be a 'third strike, you're out' scenario.
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Dec 5, 2011 01:07
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OP, I started getting nauseous and wanted to take a shower immediately after viewing those pictures of that squalor. I can't even imagine how bad the smell is from the food, litter box, etc. Anyway,to be somewhat constructive,it is unlikely that your kids are permanently being taken away. In the realm of family law, courts utilize what is called the "best interests of the child" standard "BIC". Under BIC, it's VERY VERY VERY difficult for a court to terminate parental rights unless there is some blatant physical/emotional/sexual abuse. Your first step, as others have mentioned, is to get an attorney ASAP or if you can't afford one, visit a legal aid clinic in your area. Your second step is to seek some sort of mental health professional because obviously you have some serious issues. Your third step is to take a blow torch to that disgusting place. Edit: I'm a lawyer, granted not a family law lawyer and THIS IS IN NO WAY LEGAL ADVICE but forget all this business about "suing for money". Get a lawyer to get your kids back, forget this pipe dream about getting money from CPS> You have to prove damages and what damages can you prove? That your wife missed a couple of days work at her minimum wage job? No lawyer would touch your case.
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Dec 5, 2011 01:09
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might I also add that if I had my kids taken away by CPS I would not be on SA making excuses because every second of my day would be spent doing whatever it took to get them back. If I were in your situation I would probably hopefully consider this a wake up call and be calling as many friends and relatives as I could to get the house clean. get it together if you want your kids back, you were obviously out of control and need to keep your house clean. you can make the choice to be a pig but you have kids and they deserve a safe place to come home to and you are not providing that.
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Dec 5, 2011 01:09
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WNxOddJob posted:The laundry won't be done tonight but, we'll see. Doing laundry really shouldn't take more than a day. Do you just keep constantly buying new clothes or do your kids wear dirty ones or what? I understand that there's 4 people there, but drat.
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Dec 5, 2011 01:09
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Your house is gross. Clean it up, with garbage bags. No sorting. Do it all in one day. If something has been sitting in one spot for three months and cost less than a hundred dollars, throw it out. If your wife starts with the "Let me go through this" poo poo, tell her to sort through the photos of your kids. If you want to sort through poo poo, get your friends and family to help you. I listened to a report on NPR last month about South Dakota's CPS department. They get a large amount of money from the federal government for every family split up. The problem is especially bad on the reservations. You have a major issue going on, and you need to go tap some friends, family, Money Tree, whatever for the dough to put down for a family law laywer. http://www.npr.org/2011/10/31/141872944/improving-foster-care-for-native-american-kids TLA posted:"The way our federal government is set up, the way that the foster care system works, is that states get paid per child. So every time you remove a child from a home, the state gets money. But if it's a poor state like South Dakota, it gets lots of money. It's just based on - it's based on the rates. The poorer your state, the more reimbursement you get from the federal government.
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Dec 5, 2011 01:10
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WNxOddJob posted:Thanks. The reason it never got moved out is because you are a lazy slob. That's also the reason your kids are being relocated. I hope that helps
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Dec 5, 2011 01:10
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OP, once you get your kids back and clean out 90% of the crap in your house, you need to spend whatever money you can to get a therapist. If you're a college student there might even be a free/very cheap one on campus, otherwise you can usually find one who works on a sliding scale based on income. The pictures you've presented aren't normal. Even if you're busy cleaning up, there's no reason you should have that much crap lying around in the first place. Hoarding is indicative of mental illness, and the problem won't fix itself once the dumpster gets thrown out. You'll be in the same situation 6 months or a year from now, and CPS won't be nearly as forgiving the third time. 'Healthy' households don't get visited twice by CPS. This is a deeper problem than just a few dirty dishes, and you're not going to be able to fix it yourself. Find a therapist.
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Dec 5, 2011 01:10
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The last thing DFACS wants to do is take a child away from their parents. They only do this if they perceive the environment as unsafe to the children. Your house is unsafe. If I were the agent I would have taken your child away as well. I can only imagine the roaches that have crawled around the dirty plates and into the open cereal boxes. Where is the cat's litter box (assuming there is one)? I'm sure that area is filthy as well. I understand the financial situation - but having to struggle financially is no reason to have your house cluttered that badly. Jesus, when you finish eating wash the drat bowl, plate, fork, whatever.
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Dec 5, 2011 01:11
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WNxOddJob posted:She typically will come in and wake one of us up when she wakes up. Even more so if she's hungry. It's never been a problem before. She's five years old. That is not appropriate parenting, I don't even know why you would need to be told that. You don't wait for your five year old to come in and wake you up, you get up out of bed and take care of the children you decided to have and make sure they don't need to wake you up and inform you that they're hungry.
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Dec 5, 2011 01:14
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 03:56 |
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Rent a garbage bin or borrow a friends truck this is going to take more than some wastebaskets.
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Dec 5, 2011 01:14
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