CPS Took my kids this morning: Do I have a legal leg to stand on?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > CPS Took my kids this morning: Do I have a legal leg to stand on?

Cool Buff Man: Jul 30, 2006; bitch

You should probably have a lot of sex and just have new children. That's really messed up!! Everyone has soft floors due to water damage and laundry on the floors too. Maybe soap up the soft spots and leave the clothes on top to clean the clothes and also prevent more damage! Turn apples into lemonade please and have more childs

# ¿ Dec 5, 2011 00:38

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# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 15:54

Cool Buff Man: Jul 30, 2006; bitch

So you have no job because you don't want your food stamps to run out, and your wife is skipping work because she's crying and creating water damage spots. And you can't find time to clean up??

# ¿ Dec 5, 2011 00:44

Cool Buff Man: Jul 30, 2006; bitch

Make a box bed for the cat! Make a box bed for your kid. Make a box dress! Make a necklace out of a plate. Get a job. Paste foodstamps on the wall like a mosaic! Use your pony doll as a roomba. Get a reality show, call the cops and tell them they're stupid! Most of all make an internet thread and take a million pictures too. The world is your oyster and now you don't even have a shithead little kid to hold you back

# ¿ Dec 5, 2011 00:56

Cool Buff Man: Jul 30, 2006; bitch

You could always sue pepsi too mate

# ¿ Dec 5, 2011 01:04

Cool Buff Man: Jul 30, 2006; bitch

WNxOddJob posted:

Thanks.

Also yes, the majority of it (I know it looks bad) -IS- empty boxes from when we moved in. They just...kind of never got moved out. I don't even know why. We just didn't. We're throwing away a bunch of stuff in the empty boxes now and the place is looking a ton better. We -will- probably have it done tonight. The dishes are nearly done, the living room looks great. The laundry won't be done tonight but, we'll see.

She typically will come in and wake one of us up when she wakes up. Even more so if she's hungry. It's never been a problem before.

The reason it never got moved out is because you are a lazy slob. That's also the reason your kids are being relocated. I hope that helps

# ¿ Dec 5, 2011 01:10

Cool Buff Man: Jul 30, 2006; bitch

tworavens posted:

You need to rent a truck and take at least half that poo poo to the dump. Your kids also don't have a place to sleep. That is worse then I keep my childless, single, goony bedroom.

He doesn't have enough money to rent a truck after building such a boss rig. Priorities yall. He's on foodstamps

# ¿ Dec 5, 2011 01:16

Cool Buff Man: Jul 30, 2006; bitch

I Ozma Myself posted:

There were occasions where I might get up before my parents if I decided to be up at, oh, 5am- but my parents were run-of-the-mill normal South Dakota parents who got up when/before I got up and never let me wander the house alone, made sure I had breakfast, made sure I got out the door safely to school, and cleaned up the house appropriately before heading off to their respective jobs.

I get that this is beyond saying "if you don't have a job, that house should be immaculate" because I really do think that a mess like that isn't just a case of someone saying that they're just not tidy people- but again, CPS came out once and said that living situation wasn't appropriate.

I also sympathize with the fact that there are economic factors here but please: throw the boxes into the recycling, throw trash away, and make sure your kitchen is a place where people can not only eat, but a place where your children can wander in without having to worry about stepping on a rogue sparkling cider bottle. No one held a gun to your head and told you to have children. If you care about them, which I'm sure you do, step back and realize that what you're doing is hurting them.

The economic factors argument falls apart when the dude in question is running around Skyrim in glorious High def double monitor action thanks to his sweet new computer box purchased months ago

# ¿ Dec 5, 2011 01:34

Cool Buff Man: Jul 30, 2006; bitch

WNxOddJob posted:

Proved you wrong. Sorry, I'm busy attempting to fix my squalor problem so I can stop being a slob and get my children back and get my life back in order. I guess I take that a little more seriously than answering every neckbeard question on the internet.

We're currently cleaning everything up, and for all that are asking: yes, I have some kind of mental problem. Yes, I'm seeking help for it. I'm going to the doctor on tuesday actually (10:40 am appointment) to start finding out what's wrong.

It's in our bedroom. He's got a playpen. In fact I cut back a lot of expenditures on my "$2700" in order to buy the little man some necessities.

8/29/2011 Inv #76865118Order #104864136 $1,526.39
8/27/2011 Inv #76733228Order #88796597 $98.31

Those are my new egg order histories copy/pasted. If you want screenshots or more proof, I'll gladly post it.

I'll continue updating this thread as long as it's relevant. Tomorrow I plan to speak to a lawyer. I will also be posting updated photos for when we've got the house cleaned up tonight.

We have two friends over here helping us.

You are literally the worst person in the world.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2011 02:05

Cool Buff Man: Jul 30, 2006; bitch

Do the lot fees include your WoW subscription

# ¿ Dec 5, 2011 02:17

Cool Buff Man: Jul 30, 2006; bitch

He also called everyone neckbeards

# ¿ Dec 5, 2011 02:36

Cool Buff Man: Jul 30, 2006; bitch

I'm fixing the hole where the rain gets in, to keep my child from wandering

# ¿ Dec 5, 2011 02:40

Cool Buff Man: Jul 30, 2006; bitch

I Ozma Myself posted:

You must have missed the dusty vacuum cleaner in one of the living room shots.

At least, I think that's what that was. I really don't quite know.

His dog is sick

# ¿ Dec 5, 2011 03:16

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# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 15:54

Cool Buff Man: Jul 30, 2006; bitch

IrvingWashington posted:

Well, sometimes they get up in the middle of the night because they had a nightmare. Luckily their response to this is normally not to get dressed and head to school. I don't really see the point of waking them up on a Sunday unless it's around 11am, because then I can say something annoying like 'rise and shine, sleepyhead' and get an awesome scowl/groan combo. While I love my kids, I also enjoy the quiet on weekend mornings when I can chill in bed and know I don't have to get up and get to work.

Waking up at or around the time your kids get up makes sense, so lucky for them I can be there in case they decide to catch a bus to Illinois. Once they said they were going to move to 'Acapella,' so I've been on the lookout for that.

It also helps that my oldest kid is 12 and can be trusted (at least for the next 4(?) years) not to sneak off to god knows where without telling me.

I'll probably call CPS just to be on the safe side though

Absolutely nobody cares and I'm curious as to how this applies to a 5 year old child

# ¿ Dec 5, 2011 03:19

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > CPS Took my kids this morning: Do I have a legal leg to stand on?