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I've just recently started getting into D&D this past year and I've only been playing for about 5 months at this point. Although once I started everyone around me decided then wanted to play as well. I got in with a friend's game at school and when I came back for break all my home friends had decided to play as well. So in those 5 months I ended up in two long term games. Great fun all around. A already a number of, IMO, great stories. Be warned: Wall'o'text. But I'll split the stories if people like them. My first game is a homebrew 3.5 game run by my friend's buddy. Very experienced, great at story telling, and world building. So we have a party of 6: Elf Thief, Human Beguiler, Human Pirate, Human Ranger, Human Barbarian, and me, with a Dwarf Bard. Why a Dwarf Bard? Why the gently caress not? The DM said it would be a more political campaign so my guy was cracked out in diplomacy, bluff, forgery, etc. We all start off in a busy shipping town and are let loose. How to fail your way into blowing up a dock. So starting out the Thief, Beguiler, and Pirate are all in a group. Now previously the Pirate had ended up defecting from his crew to join that group, and in effect had been attacked by his Captain who didn't want him to leave, who after getting beaten decided to tell the crew that Erik (the Pirate) had been killed and the Captain couldn't save him. So the first thing Erik does is go straight to the port to find his old ship. Now out of game, the DM had decided that the big encounter in the town would be running into this Captain and having a big old pirate brawl. NOPE! Erik gets right to it. So he strolls down to the docks and finds his ship. Then he decides "You know what? I'm just gonna casually stroll onto the ship I defected from and take my 'retirement package'". As he strolls onto the ship everyone is looking bug eyed and mouth agape at him, since they thought he was dead. As he gets close to his cabin, the DM decides that the Captain has seen him and is now running towards him. Erik decides: "Uh, I'm just gonna leave." and just heads back off the boat. As he's leaving and trying to leave the docks the Barbarian, Conan (creative I know), shows up. Conan decides that he's drunk and wants to fight. He sees Erik and challenges him. Erik keeps walking. This is when the Captain finally calls out to Erik to stop and talk to him. Erik decides that a better idea is to pay the strange Barbarian to attack the Captain. The Barbarian agrees and charges at the Captain, who had also brought along his first mate. So much for the big end session encounter. So Conan is charging the Captain and as he goes to attack him: Crit Fail. He ends up tossing his great ax off into the water. Then the Captain tries to take a swing at Conan with his cutlass: Crit Fail. Another weapon off into the water. Now the first mate gives it a go, pulls out two daggers and: Crit Fail. Throws those into the water as well. So in the last 18 seconds, game time, a barbarian charged two pirates, threw his ax into the water, they followed suit with their weapons, and they are standing around unarmed. So Erik, seeing this massive display of incompetence, decides to join in after all, and goes for the Captain. He decides to use his spike chain to incapacitate him by wrapping him up: Critical Hit. And then he follows up with a coup de grace. Boss Character: dead. Now Conan decides to finish up the first mate by grappling him. But the first mate wins initiative over him. So the first mate pulls out a flaming short sword and swings at Conan (you can see where this is going): Crit fail. He ends up throwing it into the store behind him, and setting it on fire. What store was this? Cannon supply depot. Conan decides that the best course of action is to drop kick the first mate into the store and run. Result: normal hit, first mate goes flying into the store, everyone runs the gently caress away, and the place explodes. This all took place within the first 10 minutes of the campaign. Next story: Knock knock, who's there, HORSE! President Unerlion fucked around with this message at 21:43 on Jan 18, 2012 |
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Jan 18, 2012 18:28
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 09:09 |
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Ok another story: Knock Knock, Who's there?, HORSE! So after killing off the Big Bad encounter our DM had prepared for us in the first 10 minutes of the game we moved on to getting the rest of the players into the story. As is tradition (and horribly cliched at this point) the DM kept trying to push people toward going to the Tavern to meet up. Well we collectively said "gently caress that noise" and all split off in all different directions. Most of the party is looking to steal from random shops or just buy equipment, and others are looking for jobs or people to fight. I decide that I wanted to try and find out some info or dirt about people in town that I could steal from. But I decide to go to the black smith to do this. gently caress Taverns. After a decent spot check and a crit gather info check I find out that there is a very rich man getting a special custom weapon made at the black smith. KA-CHING! After some more info gathering I find out that the guy is basically the head boss of the town. Not the Mayor, just the richest fucker around who own's almost everything in town. This leads to a little meta-gaming on the part of everyone but the Barbarian, Conan, who is only looking to beat poo poo up. Soon everyone is trying to find a way into this guy's huge loving mansion. The attempts were as follows: Elf Thief: Cased the place to try and find a way to sneak in. Found no possible way of doing so due to lots of torches and guards. Ranger: Same as elf, but decided to go next door to the stables to start a stampede to distract everyone, and then sneak in. Beguiler: Disguises as a guard, walks right in. Pirate: Tries to sneak on the property via the docks (which the mansion was right next too). Finds a 50ft shear cliff, gives up goes to try and find another way in. Bard (me): I forge a note from the Merchant to the Smith asking about some bullshit, get a note from the Smith to the Merchant about said poo poo. Use the Smith's note to get into Mansion. (Also find out the weapon he is making is called the Vorpal Blade. yeah.) How do all these plans end up working out? Well the DM decided we were all doing this at roughly the same time. He also decided that, since he finally had most of the players going to the same place that Conan was heading over there as well, to fight guards. So here's how it goes down: My Bard is walking toward the house, bumping into the Elf who gets suspicious of what I'm doing and sticks around. As I near the first guards, who take my note and tell me to head towards the front doors, the ranger sneaks into the stables and starts smacking horses on the rear end to get them to go crazy. As I reach the front doors the stable wall next to the house explodes and about 15 horses all come charging over the front lawn causing a huge commotion. I run inside, the ranger sneaks in through a window on the first floor, ends up in a pantry, and proceeds to start eating. The Beguiler decides to run inside during this commotion to "Warn the Merchant", the Pirate sees the horses distracting the guards and sneaks in through a window on the opposite side of the house that the Ranger got in from (startling the female servants whose room he just entered), and the Elf just sort of sticks around watching all this. It's about this time that the Barbarian reaches the house and sees a large open field of a front lawn covered in stampeding horses and frantic guards and Stable Men trying to control the situation.  I want to punch a horse. You want to punch a horse? Ok...you see a horse charging at you, make an attack roll. Crit. Ok. The horse is thoroughly stunned after getting cold cocked. Now what do you want to do? I'm gonna pick up the horse. You can't carry a horse. My strength is 22, I can lift 500lbs over my head and carry it. DC check of 20 to see if you can do it. 16 plus 6. gently caress. Ok you are carrying a horse above your head. Everyone around, and even a few horses are visibly awe struck. I charge the front door. You charge the front door? I use the horse as a battering ram and charge the door. Ok you charge the door, but forgot to turn the horse so you are charging with it side on. Make the roll. Crit. 26 on the attack.  ...So back to everyone else's perspective for a second. We all had sneaked in, sans Elf and Barbarian, and were in the main foyer. I'm being escorted by guards to the Merchants office, the Ranger is stuffing his face and trying to sneak around the foyer, the Beguiler is watching the commotion outside, and the pirate comes running out of the servants quarters alerting the guards. The guards upstairs with me tell the Beguiler to grab the Pirate just as her disguise wears off. So more guards are called, surround the room, they grab the Ranger, Pirate, and Beguiler and I get a sword put to me. The Merchant comes out and starts just sort of calmly interrogating us about why we all decided to break in at once. Then the Elf jumps in through a front window right into the circle of guards and tells everyone: "You may want to duck". Right at that point the Barbarian hits the front of the house, exploding the front door and part of the wall. He ends up knocking out 5 guards, busting up a bunch of statues, breaking a fountain, and just ends up standing in the middle of this guys foyer with a now completely dazed horse above his head.  What are you doing in my house. With that horse. I, uh, caught your horse for you. That is not my horse. Oh. *Proceeds to throw it back outside, knocking out two more guards*So that's how the DM finally got our group all together. I never did get to steal that sword though. President Unerlion fucked around with this message at 21:37 on Jan 20, 2012 |
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Jan 20, 2012 21:22
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Yawgmoth posted:If I were your DM I would never plan anything for any session because you guys would just come up with something infinitely more entertaining anyways. Which is awesome. After that session (this and the previous story are from the same session) he told us that we ended up loving up his plans about 5 times.
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Jan 20, 2012 22:25
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So I'm back with some more stories from my 3.5 campaign. After the horse incident there was a lot of RPing. The TL;DR is that the dudes house who we all tried to rob/break into/flat out destroy was not only a super wealthy merchant in the city but a super wealthy merchant in relation to EVERY loving WHERE in the game world. He decided that instead of killing us, for obvious reasons, he was going to give us a job. He was trying to break into, business wise, the Elven realms that controlled the norther half of the continent(world). He was going to do so by sending a "tribute trade" of sorts. Basically he had a very old/rare/powerful/shiny artifact that he was trading for money/another artifact with some influential Elven merchants. He decided that he wanted us, the people who just demolished his front room with the intent of robbing him (for the most part) to take the lead on this very valuable assignment. So we went. With the stipulation that we should at least meet with the contacts and attempt to do the trade. We could take the money that resulted, but he at least wanted the contact to be made. So that's how we got started. Errands. I'm pulling a reverse Santa. So after a few days of traveling north we noticed a few guys standing in the middle of a field off the side of the road, shouting. We sent out our Ranger to investigate. After a few move silently rolls he's close enough to gather that they had tried to raid an old dungeon and gotten three of their friends killed. Two were still in the dungeon and they wanted to get them out. The Ranger, in his infinite wisdom, decides the best course of action is to just stand up, less than 4 feet away from these guys, with no warning and offer to help. Guess how well that went. Ranger: I stand up and offer to help them with their problem. DM: Ok, you've just given the older gentleman, from who's perspective you just suddenly appeared next too, a heart attack. Ranger: Ah. Heal check? *rolls* DM: Yeah that 5 ain't gonna cut it. So old man dies, leaving two completely bewildered guys left to relate the story to us. They are treasure hunters and had bought a map of "rich" locations from a traveling merchant and this one was the last one on their list. They had only made it a few rooms into the dungeon when a pack of Giant Vipers attacked them. Two of their friends got bitten and grabbed as they fled, and the (first) dead friend on the ground had also gotten bitten. They wanted our help to get their friends out so they could bury them. Being treasure hunters they could obviously offer good compensation. So we took the job and ventured on in. And in the first room the remaining adventurers tripped a rock trap and died. DM: I hate DM PCs, and they only had like 5 hp anyway. Moving on. We kept moving until we found a locked door. But since it was the only room we hadn't searched yet (of which no good loot nor information was discovered) we decided to try and get in. The only one of us who had any useful ranks in a relevant skill was our Elf Thief who kept failing. Finally after about 5 tries our Barbarian, now called Horsethrower, decided to just bust the door down. Horsethrower: I'm going to just chop the door down with my axe. It's a wooden door right? DM: Yeah, go ahead. HT: *rolls* 1... DM: You hit the wall. So I decided to chime in, being a dwarf and a bard. Hodii: HA! Want me to go get ya a horse? HT: (Out of game: Do you really say that?) Hodii: (Out of game: Yeah.) HT: I grapple the dwarf. Hodii: WHAT! gently caress YOU. HT: *rolls* 18 plus...23 Hodii: What, how do I dodge or resist (first game so I really didn't know how this worked) DM: You don't he has you. Hodii: poo poo. HT: I throw him at the door. *rolls* HA, crit. DM: You hurl that dwarf like a sack of bricks... Hodii: As I fly away I yell "gently caress YOUUUUuuuuuu". DM:...And shatter the door. Hodii you skid a good, 10 feet on your face, and end up in the middle of a group of 4 Giant Vipers. Hodii: I yell even louder: "YOU COCKSUCKER!" HT: I chuckle. So initiative starts. Thankfully I roll high and end up going before the vipers, who end up going before the rest of the group. I manage to tumble out of the group of Vipers and avoid their A.o.O.s to position myself in a way that lets me only have to worry about two instead of 4. The short version is I killed 2 Vipers and the others were done in by Alchemist's Fire. As we're finishing up, looting the bodies of the vipers and dead adventurers as well as my giving in and out of game poo poo to Horsethrower the DM asks up to roll listen checks. We all roll above 15 and hear what seems to be a pair of very large, very snarly dog like creatures in the room outside of the one we were in. Entire group: "Dire Wolves..." Hodii: I quickly look around the room, what do I see. DM: In your haste you only notice the bodies of the vipers and adventurers, some torn tapestries and a chimney. Hodii: I climb the chimney. DM: What? Hodii: I have 5 ranks in climb. DM: You're a dwarf. Hodii: With 5 ranks in climb. DM: Ok. HT: Coward. Elf: I ready my alchemist fire. (Ranger and Beguiler get ready as well) Hodii: *rolls* 15, 19, and 13. DM: You only have time to make it up the chimney about 10 feet before you hear the pair of Dire Wolves reach the doorway and walk into the room. They stop and stare at you. Ranger: I'm going to try and charm them with my animal sense. DM: You can try. But before any of you have time to do anything, except for Hodii who's Santa-ing up the chimney, you hear a booming voice yell out, in a loud but calm manner: "Heel Boys. What'd ya find?". Then you see a 10 foot Orc walk in behind the wolves. ... Next time: Yes, you can smoke the 2000 year old weed.
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Feb 14, 2012 22:52
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namesake posted:I'm now pretty determined to play a character with a long series of titles, all relating to things they've thrown a long way. Oh yeah, that's actually what happening to his Character. At the time of retirement (my friend moved on to an assassin doctor) his full name is Conan the HorseThrower Dwarftosser Tableflicking StatueChucking ChildMauler. The Barbarian. I'll get to those stories. Conan now inhabits our personal town acting as blacksmith. He just makes retarded amounts of weapons and armor every day. We skipped time ahead 1 year during winter break and my friend had to roll for how many pieces of weapons and armor he had made (rationalizing that he has literally nothing else to do and has a one track mine). The rolls were 1d20*100. So we have an armory full of 1400 weapons of various types and 1900 suits of armor or various types. We decided that since he has nothing to put them on he has started arming and armoring the livestock in town. So we have chickens, cows, pigs and more than a few deer running around armed with pikes and suited with full plate armor. Don't gently caress with our town. President Unerlion fucked around with this message at 00:03 on Feb 15, 2012 |
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Feb 14, 2012 23:58
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I just realized that I'm currently having a bad experience. Not terrible, but I could have been having an easier/awesomer time. So My latest (4th) character in the campaign I've been posting about is a wizard. When I was making it I had just stumbled across a TL;DR'd version of Players Handbook 2 which lists a feat that you can take instead of a familiar called "Immediate Magic". Since it was a TL;DR version it just listed the basics: Specialize in a school, get a spell-like ability linked to that spell that you can use as an instant action at any time in or out of combat. I took it and chose conjuration for the teleport spell. Well one of the other guys says that I had to be able to use the spell it's based off of to be able to use it. And since Teleport is a level 9 spell, it was going to be awhile. Well I just decided to hunt down the full text and well he was full of poo poo. It specifically lists that you can use the related spell like ability at level 1 and the spells level is based on my own. My fault for not looking further into it until now, but I can't help but think that the Beguiler wasn't playing his character out of game.
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Feb 16, 2012 17:21
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Yawgmoth posted:
Wow. That is one hell of a group. I'd never even think that you could go for an economic victory against a Big Bad villian. "TREMBLE YOU FRETFUL CHAMPIONS AT THE MIGHT OF MY ULTIMATE SUMMO..." "Yeah we switched from the gold standard before we set off for you about a month ago. You probably only have about 5gp worth of stuff there now." "Awww. Fine. Suck bee!"
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Feb 20, 2012 19:42
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 09:09 |
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So here's my next story from my 3.5 group. It's short but funny, maybe in a "you had to be there" way but. Just bare with me. So we had just been cornered by a pair of Dire Wolves and their Orc handler. Who was carrying a giant club. Which was actually just a tree. I was trying to climb up the chimney, leaving my partners to face the fight without me. So everyone is getting their poo poo ready, and we're just waiting on the DM to start the encounter. Finally he has the Orc speak  Hey, you guys took care of those snakes. Thanks.Everyone:  Well, lets go back to the nice part of the castle, there's probably more around over here. So turns out that we just happened to (well not really) find a 2000 year old Orc Wizard. He's not interested in fighting, and was just checking out what the commotion was in his house. So we're talking to the Orc about the artifact we were given, the Vorpal blade that the Merchant was making, various world building things, when the pirate decides to ask if the Orc had any weed, because his character is a stoner. Well, DM rolls some dice and has the Orc grab "a dusty old leather sack" and toss it to the pirate. Turns out to be some of the Orc's father's stash. DM: Roll a constitution check Pirate: 18 Dm: Nope, you take one huff and start tilting backwards, hitting the ground with a nice dull thud and releasing a cloud of smoke as you hit. The funny bit was what happened right as our DM said that. See Davy, the pirate, skypes in to our group and we have him on a big screen with a web cam so we can see him. Right as our DM said he had passed out from the weed Davy's webcam and skype decided to poo poo themselves. Pirate: Oh well that SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKVBVBVBVBVBVBBVBVBVVBVBVBVBVVBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz So our now passed out pirate is up on a big 40" HDTV turning into a human Skrillex performance as the video feed starts to de-interlace and slowly split appart, finally just cutting to a weird rainbowy static a minute later. We pretty much called it for the night there since 1) we couldn't stop laughing for a good 10 minutes and 2) Our pirate couldn't really play anymore. Also our DM wanted to make sure it wasn't his computer that hosed up.
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Feb 21, 2012 17:40
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