LtKenFrankenstein posted:

I find most 'posters' in this style pretty stupid and obnoxious, but this one really takes the cake.



Seriously, it's somehow even worse than that Matrix poster with the battery.

Cacator posted:

Man that's just pandering.

"What do little girls like?"
"Princesses? Ponies?"
"Hmm..."

Desperado Bones posted:

fenix down posted:

I like it because it looks like Corman's House of Usher.

TheBigBudgetSequel posted:

I did get what they were trying to do instantly, but I agree that this doesn't sell the film very well. If it was a picture of the Necronomicon in the same style, I'd probably like it.

TheJoker138 posted:

And the recorder is too thick too.

Mustached5thGrader posted:

As a Christian, I can say that there has NEVER been a watchable "Faith-based" film. The worst being Fireproof. A lot of good that did, seeing as how my wife cheated on me and left me

Desperado Bones posted:

emo-crow
~*ANGST*~

kiimo posted:

You should rectify this. The first Crow is really badass kind of in the vein of, oh, the first Blade. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The sequels are an abomination.

scary ghost dog posted:

There is so much innuendo and imagery and allusion in this poster. It's ridiculous.

Desperado Bones posted:

The first thing that came to my mind was that scene, because I watched the movie and was severely traumatized by it. If I hadn't I'm sure I would had agreed with you all.

TheBigBudgetSequel posted:

Potentially, but probably not. I'm interested to see more of it in a future trailer, but they started shooting before they finished writing the script. How often has that worked out well?

Static Rook posted:

he's obviously in the water because of the splash effects at the bottom.

Darthemed posted:

Too much tagline?

Embiggen posted:

Thanks for the link, this site is great. Apparently in the 30s there was a documentary about a guy stabbing everything in the ocean:



I love the style of vintage creature feature posters, but a cranky turtle and a goofy-looking octopus? Those are some of the least menacing sea monsters ever.

quote:

I can't get over it. Holy poo poo. It's a documentary about a guy who fancies himself a "sheriff" of the sea, and he goes around murdering apex predators and really anything that he just doesn't like. There's this amazing 12 foot tiger shark, and he dives in and stabs it to death just for the fun of it. Also, this:

"Octopus! The devil fish! Slimy, slithery, hateful. A foul monstrosity in a grotesque world! A loathsome nightmare that lurks with hideous peril for the diver."

Reminder, this is a documentary.

Meanwhile, the narration goes on and on about how these mighty beasts of the sea are everywhere and threatening the waters SHUT UP YOU gently caress, YOU ARE THE REASON WE DON'T HAVE FISH LIKE THAT ON THE COAST ANYMORE.

They also throw in some racism because why not? The guy has a "darkie sailor" cook named Evolution, and they dub over all his dialogue with that loving "yassuh boss" poo poo and all his scenes are obviously staged pratfalls.

There's also a running bit about how when our hero dives into the water to murder a fish, he takes his pants off. It's supposed to be badass - "the trousers come off and the knife comes out!" - but it's literally a Trailer Park Boys joke, all I could think of was Randy's fat rear end falling all over the yard.

There's a pretty good book about the age of shark fishing called In the Slick of the Cricket, about how the men who loved the sea ended up destroying it. This movie is like a counterpoint - it's a man who hates the sea ruining it. It's only the second movie I've ever given a zero to on Criticker. The first is Electrocuting an Elephant. They're functionally identical.

taser rates posted:

One of Mondo's Avengers posters. I'm trying to recall if this is a reference some other poster or artwork I've seen, but nothing's coming to mind. I like it though.

Dillbag posted:

New Expendables 2 poster featuring... who?

Robert Denby posted:

Here's a teaser poster for the first live-action movie from Zemeckis in twelve years.



I like it, even though that image has been done before.

Meltathon posted:

Having (almost) everything crammed at the top actually makes me uncomfortable. I'm not sure why, it just seems to closed in, maybe that's the point. The title looks like it is slightly too high on the poster, which could be doing it too. I have no clue what the movie is really about though.

Codependent Poster posted:

2 of the Fellowship, reuinted!

achillesforever6 posted:

Anyone post "Masque of the Red Death" poster? Its probably my favorite poster.

BARONS DEF CHARGER posted:

THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER. THAT GUN IS FIVE GUNS.

Kramjacks posted:

BEAR

Mister Chief posted:

It should be a pun involving the word bear.

"Bear witness to the horror that is... BEAR!"

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Then B5ar.

Sheldrake posted:

This full size poster is hanging on the wall fifteen feet in front of me. One of my favorites, and it always incites some sort of deep discussions about what, exactly, was he going to train those dolphins for.

Hbomberguy posted:

It's a Japanese horror film from an era when I don't think they knew how to make horror films yet,

Dissapointed Owl posted:

Please call them 'The Sinners of Hell', 'Ghost Stories', 'Devil Woman' and 'Yotsuya Ghost Story'.

e: 'Demon Hag' is such a great title, goddamn

Hbomberguy posted:

it just completely defied my expectations for how horror films tend to be set up, which was creepy in a new way for me.

Jedit posted:

Lizard Combatant posted:

Challenge:

Does anyone dare to contest the perfection of the Jurrasic Park poster? Is there another that you believe tops it in terms of message and design?

I've tried and nothing comes close (apart from Clifford, obviously).

Alhazred posted: