Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
Lars Blitzer
Aug 17, 2004

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink...


Dick Tracy's number one fan.

ShadowCatboy posted:

Part 14







Part 15



Um, something very much like this happened during a 2nd edition game I was in.:stare: Goddam...

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Lars Blitzer
Aug 17, 2004

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink...


Dick Tracy's number one fan.

ShadowCatboy posted:

Oh this I gotta hear. :)

Long story short, our cleric gets ganked by a beholder, after ransacking the place we decide to get back to town. Cleric's player whines and cajoles us to haul his carcass back, and the treasure too, since our DM was enough of a cockbag that anything left behind had a percentage chance of getting stolen by the local scavengers (Goblins, Kobolds, whatever), which seems rather reasonable in hindsight. Anyways, being that we're all veteran grognards of first edition, same thing happens: No one trusts anyone else to carry their share of the loot, no one is strong enough to carry the cleric AND the cleric's stuff (honestly, we wouldn't have heard the end of it if we left any of his poo poo behind) AND their share of the loot. So we chopped him up, Sin City style, complete with someone saying "Yeesh..." Halfway back to town we're down to one third HPs (remember, we lost our walking med kit) from fending off scavengers and various predators because we smell like an abattoir. We're getting pretty pissed off about the whole thing, really; mainly because the Cleric's player keeps whining about the cost of a Resurrection spell and how it had better not come out of his share, but be distributed fairly as per our group's charter (seriously, we had a group charter and everything. Made it a lot easier all around). I had the head (I was an Invoker, so lowest strength), so whenever he was being a douchenozzle I'd give it a healthy kick into the bushes. That usually shut him up.

It got so bad with him complaining we jumped at the chance to leave him behind. We came across the same farmhouse and barn we passed on the way to the dungeon, I remembered the flavour text about the fine crop of vegetables so I asked the DM what veggies were there. He made an offhand remark about carrots and cucumbers, so we went up to the house and made a deal with the farmer: since he grows carrots and cucumbers, there's a good chance he pickles them. Sell us a barrel of pickling brine and a wheelbarrow.

We got back to town, Rezzed the Cleric and all was well.

After that we called him "Father Vlasic" from then on.

Lars Blitzer
Aug 17, 2004

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink...


Dick Tracy's number one fan.

Liquid_Table posted:

Because of this thread I can no longer listen to political news without imagining the candidates as anything more than a bunch of nerds, scarfing Cheetos, chugging mountain dew and bitching about which version of D&D is best.

Thank you so much for that.

Yes, thank you ShadowCatboy. :tipshat:

Lars Blitzer
Aug 17, 2004

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink...


Dick Tracy's number one fan.

Xaiter posted:

I bought onthecampaigntrail.org. Does anyone have a place to host this gold? I can whip up a quick page using jQuery that'll let you play the GIFs in order using a couple of buttons and maybe a list or something.

That would be Awesome!

Lars Blitzer
Aug 17, 2004

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink...


Dick Tracy's number one fan.

Brother Jonathan posted:

I assume that you know of the famous death of Frederick Barbarossa during the Third Crusade?

The emperor was leading the forces of the Holy Roman Empire to the Holy Land, but he drowned when crossing a river. The emperor's son put the body in a cask of vinegar and told the soldiers and knights that the emperor would continue to lead them on to victory. The German contingent didn't like the idea of being led into battle by a pickle, and they deserted.

The son, Frederick VI, wanted to take the emperor on to Jerusalem, but the body didn't keep. The skin and muscles were buried in Antioch, the bones in Tyre, and the internal organs made it as far as Tarsus.

No, but I was aware of Admiral Nelson's death. He died at sea, and they preserved his hi9s body in a barrel of rum. DFurinhg the voyage home sailors had drilled up from below the barrel, thinking that no one would worry about the level of rum left. When the ship got back to port the barrel was empty. Everyone had drunk the rum Nelson was pickled in. That's why rum is sometimes referred to as "Nelson's blood."

Edit: Please forgive me. I'm drunk and had a lovely young lady sitting in my lap for most of the night.

Lars Blitzer
Aug 17, 2004

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink...


Dick Tracy's number one fan.

Bobbie Wickham posted:

"STOP HAVING IDEAS!" I think I just found my new FaceBook status.

This. gently caress yes.

Lars Blitzer
Aug 17, 2004

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink...


Dick Tracy's number one fan.

Mindbleach posted:

Do you need the whole body for a resurrection? I was under the impression the head was enough.

It says "Some small portion." Most DMs I played with can be sticklers, so to be better safe than sorry I usually haul the whole body back. It also says "regardless of condition" so really, if someone in the party has butchering or taxidermy skills dragging along a bag of bones would do. But like I said the DM was a cockbag, so we didn't want to give him any wiggle room.

Lars Blitzer
Aug 17, 2004

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink...


Dick Tracy's number one fan.

Yep, this is pretty much like some parties, unfortunately. I'd like to think that most wouldn't be complete bastards, but I know better.

Lars Blitzer
Aug 17, 2004

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink...


Dick Tracy's number one fan.

VendaGoat posted:

:stare: I've DMed this campaign before.

poo poo, anyone who's slung the dice on that side of the screen has DMed that campaign. Hell, some of us have played that campaign.:stonk::negative:

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Lars Blitzer
Aug 17, 2004

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink...


Dick Tracy's number one fan.

ShadowCatboy posted:

Pretty much this. Santorum as the incumbent had suffered a catastrophic loss by a margin of almost 20%. Part of this was due to the whole campaign to relabel his name, though the fact that people were sick of Republicans and that he was loving insane were also factors. His entire family seemed bewildered and shocked.

Also drat, I can't believe I just realized that his daughter was dressed like some 18th-century farmgirl.

Not just that, but also the teen boy standing behind her, looking like an overfed deer caught in the headlights.

I remember a Photoshop thread came out of that picture. It was hilarious, but I couldn't find it for longest time after it made the rounds through GBS. Anyone have a link?