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i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Toast posted:

Agreed with the lavender, I don't understand it... it isn't a nice dessert flavour. Even when it's done really well it's still not great and I just thinking about all the different more awesome flavours you could have used instead.

I make a honey mint lavender sauce with leg of lamb that is great. The key is to use only a little. I mean really, a little. The strength of the flavor is 100 times greater than the strength of the smell, so if you judge by smell, you will be eating a bowl of grandma-smelling soap.

For the sauce, I use a good full fat Greek yoghurt, fresh mint, salt, and lavender flowers. I let that all sit for about a day, then press the yoghurt through a strainer to remove mint leaves and lavender flowers. Then I add the honey to taste, and serve chilled. It is great.

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i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Wroughtirony posted:

I discovered the Marine Corps MCX (Why can't we have nice things, Army?)

Because you don't rate. USMC alum, San Diego, 1998.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Phummus posted:

Its my understanding, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but if I plan on doing a lot of tomato based, or heavily acidic dishes, that enameled is the better option?

I cook something tomato based almost every day. Often in cast iron. Been doing that for 20 years. No problems so far.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


GrAviTy84 posted:

I'm gonna call shenanigans. A good quality clad pan (with a copper or aluminum core) will conduct heat across the entire cooking surface, cast iron is more likely to develop hot spots since its conductivity is less than half that of aluminum and almost 1/4 that of copper. Unless you're riding your burner knob, the heat output is going to be consistent. All this is pointless anyway for a classical braise so I stand by my original statement: anything you can do in an enamelware dutch you can do just as well in a stainless steel or in a non enamel cast iron. If you need super spergy braise temps, you're gonna puddle.

You can go into thermodynamic "horseshit" if you want. I'm ABD on a Physics PhD so...

I think mass matters, though...

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


GrAviTy84 posted:

for what? Heat capacitance? Is it on the heat or not? Are you cooking outdoors in the Arctic? I mean, if you wanna drop a load on something that is only more useful for bragging rights than actual cooking, go right ahead.

Well, an aluminum skillet weight, maybe a pound. A cast iron skillet weighs, maybe ten pounds. It takes a lot more energy to change the temp on ten pounds than on one pound, in either direction. Maybe you can write your dissertation on that...

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


SubG posted:

A lot of really good stuff.

Yeah, but he's ABD on a Physics PhD so...

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


I am a native New Englander (the lobster capital of the US). All my life I have been told ow wonderful it is. Only, I have always seen it as the emperors new clothes. It is lacking in flavor, very expensive, and temperamental. I think it is preferred because it is the most expensive, and the most expensive things have to be the best, like filet Mignon. Really though, it is just a butter spoon.

The real treasure in king crab. That has a the wonderful flavor that lobster is alleged to have. I will take crab any day over lobster. I will take most any seafood over lobster.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


quote:

Oh and read this to see what it's like to work in order fulfillment from one of those online places.

Queue the Rich People Problems thread. "Waaaaa! I have to work somewhat hard in somewhat mediocre conditions without feeling a real sense of personal growth! Life should not be this hard."

Literally, 99% of history would kill for these problems. We take it for granted that these conditions should exist but they have only existed for something like 1/2 of 1/2 of 1% of the time that man has existed. Even today, they only exist for maybe 25% of the population.

You are working, you can eat, you have health care, you have comfortable shoes (maybe 1/50 of 1% of mankind has had that), modern dentistry (again, maybe 1/50 of 1%) and all you can do is gripe. Maybe that attitude is what keeps you at the bottom of the ladder.

Aimed at the author and people who think like her, not the poster.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Casu Marzu posted:

Something something something I suck Ayn Rand's dick. gently caress the people with lovely working conditions in this country, they should have bootstrapped themselves up into the middle class.

Ayn Rand is a poor writer and rather insufferable. I'm more of a Milton Friedman man.

Denying reality does not change reality, it just changes your participation in it. We have extraordinary conditions in these United States. Probably more freedom and choice than any other civilization in history. Despite that, many people can only complain and bellyache. If you cannot succeed right now in this society, you would be a goner in any other time and any other society.

If you are drowning now, name a society where you have been able to swim.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Happy Hat posted:

Ok.. seriously!

Some of the words that are used in English texts are something that you guys clearly are sitting around inventing, while drinking bong-water mixed with vodka, and taking the piss on all the foreigners.

This is exacerbating international tension.

Edit: Websters is written by goddamn adolescent school-boys! gently caress!

Edit2: Some of these words are loving unpronouncable..

I would love to know what these words are. Knowing a couple different languages you know that some things come over in a funny way. It is like the words "floor" and "ground". A special English sentence just for HH:

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Vegetable Melange posted:

Freeze in trays, then pop them out and let them hang out in a ziplock bag. Refill trays with water.

You can skip the whole ice cube step, if you want. just pour it in a ziplock bag and freeze it. Takes up less space that way, usually.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

But then you can't portion it out. That's the whole point of ice cube trays.

I said a ziplock bag, not a trash bag. Ziplock bags are standard sizes. You use a measuring cup and pour a cup or two in each bag.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


therattle posted:

Yes, several black olives!

That is...amazing. That is the voice of Middle America. Or so it seems to me.

Come on, you can't really believe this is a real article. I hire people like this for my business on a regular basis. At least 50% (more like 95% in small markets) of the articles in every newspaper life or travel or general interest section are written by people like this.

Here is how it works. The business owner, in this case Olive Garden, hires a local "public relations" person. That local person knows the editors and writers (if any) for the local papers. The PR person writes up an article with the tone of "Hey, look at this new business. Let me tell you about it!". I reality it is a big advertisement. They give it to the papers, and the papers put their writers names on the articles and publish them.

Do you really think some small town paper in Idaho or Nebraska has the resources for all those reviews? No chance. I (and my business) have appeared in several major NE papers and trade magazines, all under the guise of general interest articles. It cost a couple grand to get a blitz like this, but a good PR person knows how to write articles and coordinate so you hit 3 or 4 papers and journals all at once, generating a lot of publicity.

They also know how to write articles that are not so transparent. Look at the last couple paragraphs starting with "There’s a homemade soup...". This sounds like it is right from OG's website or PR people.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


GrAviTy84 posted:

fixed it for you

BOO-YA!

Can icing made with milk be left out, or does it have to be refrigerated? I know a huge subset of people "would never use milk in icing!!!!!!" but that is irrelevant to my question. My concern is if it will spoil if it has a couple tablespoons of milk. Any of you bacteriologists have an opinion on this?

Also, where is Worldmaker?

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


mindphlux posted:

Heavy-breathing rant

What do you have against cast iron? The mass makes it 3.65 times more resistant to thermal shock than..Ohh nevermind.



On a different topic. Cakeflour. Does it really make a difference? I am making a shortbread and it calls for cake flour. Shortbread is not exactly a light pastry. Does it make a difference?

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


pnumoman posted:

Ah mussels. So delicious and good until you hit that one bad mussel.

Then you glimpse the pits of hell as you wrap yourself around the porcelain portal of despair. But will we stop eating mussels because of that threat? Hell no.

I had a raw oyster once that tasted like diarrhea smells. It was a guest at a "Steak House Night" dinner at an upscale country club, so I felt bad about spitting it out. I just swallowed it and prepared for the worst. To try to temper it, I drank about a cup of fresh lemon juice. I figure, if it can "cook" the seafood in ceviche, it could do something about the bacteria in the oyster. It seemed to work. No sickness. Also, surprisingly, that was about the best steak I have ever had.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Happy Hat posted:

It's confusing, that's all..
Kind of like using "x is different than y" - shouldn't it be "x is different from y" instead? Or is it ok to use than when you compare two? I could understand it if it was in the form of comparing a difference from a subject between two other subjects, but then I guess it should still be from?
And affect and effect is interchangable too...

They are used interchangeably by the less evolved among us.

Phummus posted:

A split infinitive is typically when you have an adverb (it ends in 'ly') after the word 'to'. The classic example is "To boldly go where no man has gone before". It really should be "To go boldly where no man has gone before" to be correct.

Come on. Don't start talking infinitives. Now you open the door to some really messy language issues. You can start talking about gerunds, and verbals, and it can participles. I mean, in many languages, things we call nouns are actually verb participles functioning in the nominative. That all can become quite confusing.

Here is a fun exercise: Emphasize each word differently in this sentence to change the meaning:

"I didn't say he stole the money."
"I didn't say he stole the money."
"I didn't say he stole the money."
"I didn't say he stole the money."
"I didn't say he stole the money."
"I didn't say he stole the money."
"I didn't say he stole the money."

Each emphasis completely changes the meaning of the sentence.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Casu Marzu posted:

So, I need a dessert that will feature eggs, but I don't really want to do a custard unless I have to. Any other ideas?

Does angel food cake count as "featuring?" You can do all kinds of fun stuff with that.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


mindphlux posted:

tonight, walking home from a bar, I found $67 bux just sitting on the sidewalk, presumably from some drunken st. patricks day partier

You cannot keep it. That is profiting from misfortune. Found money has to be used charitably, it cannot be kept. If you keep it, it becomes wallet poison, spoiling any money it contacts. If you use it charitably, it goes out and finds other money that has nothing to do, and sends it back to you wallet.

-The Rules according to i shoot friendlies, Volume XXIV, Section VII, Paragraph III.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


I am glad you guys have been talking about mustard. I have a bag of brown seeds and a bag of black seeds, and I tried making some a couple weeks ago. The reulsts were less than stellar, in fact I threw it all away. I soaked the seeds first, and they did not blend well, the flavors were funky, it was all just lousy.

You motivated me to get back on the wagon. I made another batch with just black seeds. This time I used a coffee grinder to grind the dry beans instead of soaking them first, and added different spices. It is wonderful. Thanks for bringing it back to mind.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Mr. Wiggles posted:

The Marines motto is Semper Fidelis.

Notably there is no linguistic confusion when we use Latin.

What do you mean "we"? Are you a Marine?

Happy Hat posted:

I thought it was a marines motto thing...

GI Joe murdered this with a Joe named "Gung Ho" who was supposed to be a Marine. It is common knowledge amongst Marines that he was actually a sailor because he dressed like a gay.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Does anyone know what happened to Worldmaker? I am going to be near Cleveland soon, (I think) and want to hit his restaurant. Does anyone know where it is?

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Randomity posted:

He had to close the restaurant, last I remember he was planning on turning it into a candy shop or ice cream store or something like that.

That is a real bummer. I had a restaurant I had to close once. It was the worst feeling.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


How do you feel about using a juicer to make braising liquid? If I am braising short ribs, I usually use the normal, carrot, onion, celery, garlic. Then, when the liquid needs to be reduced, I strain all that stuff out (what a pain in the neck) and toss it. What if, instead of that, I juiced the veggies and just add their liquid.

I have a hard core centrifugal juicer, the pulp comes out dry. Would that bring all the flavors over without the pain in the neck straining of the liquid at the end?

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Rurutia posted:

Why not just reduce and immersion blend the veggies with the liquid? That's what I do and it makes an amazing thick sauce. The idea of juicing the stuff sounds kind of gross really...

Blend the veggies into the liquid? How can you possibly have a smooth rich sauce like that? All that cellulose just blended in. Has anyone else tried this?

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Sjurygg posted:

Yeah yeah, go ahead, it'll be great. Meat cooked in vegetable juice sounds gross.

Doesn't all braising happen in veggie juice, one way or another? I use equal parts red wine and beef stock, and then load it up with roughly chopped carrots, onion, celery, and garlic. The juice and flavor comes out of those veggies. Does anyone here make a braising liquid that does not include veggies?

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


CzarChasm posted:

Seriously? Raped? I'd believe sexually harassed, but raped?

If that's the case, I'd better step my game up, cause no one in my office has been raped in over a week.

Naaa...this is one of those statistics people who majored in "women's studies" or sociology love to quote. It actually has no relevance in reality. Every thirty seconds is 1,051,200 rapes per year. According to the FBI there were 85,000 rapes or attempted rapes in the US in 2010. They reconcile this by saying something like, "Well, only 1 in 12 is reported, so if there were 85,000 reported that means there were actually 1,050,000. We just never heard about the 965,000 that were not reported."

Welcome to the world of "Soft Sciences".

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Ok, I'm back. What did I miss?

Oh...

Ohhhhhh...

Well, we can console ourselves on the fact that while a derail happens every thirty seconds in GWS, only one in twelve derails actually are reported.

Rurutia posted:

Yes.

(Animal stock and wine are oft used braising liquids, for instance.)

No kidding. That is what I said. The base is wine and stock, but does anyone use only wine and stock? I have never seen anything braised without veggies or veggie juice. Does anyone braise without any aromatics and other vegetable based things in his stock?

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


So I just got one of these

Smokey!

Right now I have a pork butt in it at 195F for 22 hours. Rubbed it with brown sugar, crushed red pepper, salt, and garlic. Smoking with apple wood. This is going to be magnificent.

I usually do pork butts in the oven right on the oven rack (with a drip pan on a lower rack) at 190-195 for 22-24 hours and they are outrageously succulent. You have to take them out with your hands because tongs will just rip through them. The fat on those is the food of the gods.

I can hardly sleep thinking about how good this is going to be.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


GrAviTy84 posted:

I thought so too but I just read the chapter on smoking in modernist cuisine and it said otherwise. I might have misread. There's a lot of info in that book and I may just be overwhelmed. I get how you can get that pellicle from drying off a wet surface, I don't get how you get that from a surface that is dry from liberal dry rub. Nevertheless I recall 225F being the sweet spot and the there-is-such-a-thing-as-too-much-smoke thing.


225 is too high for most meats. This is not a book, but rather the practical experience of the old southern redneck who opened my eyes to proper pork cooking. Anything above 210 is going to cause the liquid in the meat to boil and steam, and that is very bad for tenderness and juiciness. According to him, you never want the meat to get that hot. He cooked pork butts for a living, and had been doing that for 50 years. He never read a book on it, but he was an pork artist.

He was right. As I have experimented, setting the oven so it goes over 210 for a significant period of time just murders the texture. After doing about 100-150 of these, I have found the sweet spot to be 195 for 24 hours. That makes the best pork I (or anyone else who has eaten it) has ever had.

That temp and time completely render the fat, so that is melts through the meat. The parts that were solid fat get a "puffy" texture that is extraordinary. The outside gets dark and crispy. You do not even need spice, as the rich "porky" flavor becomes so strong.

The only difference this time is I will be adding a couple hours of smoke to the process.

i shoot friendlies fucked around with this message at Apr 21, 2012 around 11:43

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


SubG posted:

GRRRR I am so angry! Look at me I am angry! Thermodynamics!!!!!

Let me respond with the following:











Gee, I did not pay attention in physics. It looks so good but because I did not probe it and pay attention in physics, it probably will taste lousy. Oh well.

You know, if only we have a PhD in physics to really break this down for us...

i shoot friendlies fucked around with this message at Apr 21, 2012 around 23:36

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


GrAviTy84 posted:

Anyway, I was just trying to help, duder.

I really was not responding to you, I was responding to SubG's unprovoked and angry rant.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


GrAviTy84 posted:

Edit: way to remove you quoting me after I respond

It was before because I thought better of it. Look at the time stamps. You responded at 00:37, my edit was 00:36.

You had not been a jerk so I thought it was jerky to be jerky to you. Turns out I was right.

SubG's response, the one that begins "Horseshit." and also includes the gems, "It is also (one of the reasons) why you absolutely aren't in any danger of boiling the interior of your roast or steaming it or whatever the hell you're fantasy role-playing steampunk adventure horseshit you're imagining" and ends with the charming, "I mean you can do it other ways and invoke all the down home country wisdom you want to justify it, but that's just loving voodoo and wishful thinking. You can argue with me, but you can't argue with thermofuckingdynamics." was what elicited my response.

I mean, I posted about an old southern dude who had been cooking pork for 50 years giving me his philosophy on pork. SubG's response was borderline psychotic, like he took it as personal insult that I had posted some old man's opinion about pork without discussing the intricacies of the physics of pork cookery.

What a nut.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


SubG posted:

Borderline psychotic? Man, now you're hurting my feelings.

I think we have a good working relationship here. I post, and you post borderline psychotic responses. It seems to work.

This is the post that really stood out, though:

SYFY HYPHY posted:

I'd report you to CPS if I knew where you lived. In the off-chance that the Something Awful staff actually does something:

Thank you, but this thread has already been reported recently!

What?? Where I am, CPS means "Child Protective Services". Are you saying you would try to get my children taken away because of my opinions on cooking? I take back everything I said about SubG. This is the most mentally unbalanced post in this whole discussion.

I cannot even imagine what CPS would have to do with this. What is the thought process behind this? Is it something like, "I will tell on you to SA, and if they won't do anything I will tell on you to the government." How would this conversation go?

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


GrAviTy84 posted:

I'm pretty sure that there is still combustion resulting in smoke in an electric smoker.

There should be. I used apple wood chips, and most came out at the end not completely burned. That was a bummer. Fist time in a new machine. I will have to figure out why they are not creating enough smoke.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


BEHOLD: MY CAPE posted:

loving man up and turn your stove element on high and jam it on there for a few seconds to sear the wound shut

When I read this I actually squirmed in my chair and became a little ill.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Happy Hat posted:

Does this work?

Yep. It used my the US military in Vietnam, and approved by the FDA (much later) for that purpose. Hurts like crazy though.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


mediaphage posted:

It's mostly good where you can squeeze the skin together - e.g., cuts. If you chop off your pinky tip it's not so applicable.

Been there, done that. Just bite a belt or something, and squirt it on. It bonds with the moisture and stops the bleeding. Not sure if the FDA (or your doctor) would approve, but it does work. Hurts, not a little.

i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007


Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

If you want to get on your soapbox, just loving do it and quit being coy.

See there, I was trying to find a way to say this, and there you go. I am glad I did not attempt it. Your eloquence has far exceeded what would have been my feeble attempts.

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i shoot friendlies
Jun 25, 2007




"Hello. Would you like some food?"

"Depends. Is it organic, non GMO, free range, antibiotic free, pesticide free, non-Monsanto perennial seeds, locally sourced, sustainable, cruelty free, dye free, gluten free, HFCS free, and humanely killed?"

"Uhhh...not sure?"

"No thanks. My morality will nourish me."

Mass production and GMO/RoundUp resistant/etc put a lot more food on the plates of people like this. If we outlawed mass production of foodstuffs, the resulting scarcity and price hikes would starve, literally, perhaps billions.

Rich people problems...

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