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I love how from a quick skim almost all the women are topless and showing off their breasts and often have part of their pubis in frame while most of dudes (except for a terrifying old guy and a few other pictures) are all very carefully avoiding having their crotches anywhere in view. Ahhh, double standards. I also deliberately avoided reading any of the posts because while I am left-leaning enough to be considered a goddamn hippie socialist commie by a lot of people, vegans have a near-supernatural ability to piss me off in record time.
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# ¿ Feb 15, 2012 22:19 |
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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 04:51 |
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You can get a bunch of stuff in your diet that'll make you fat as gently caress while still remaining totally vegan. For instance, deep fried peanut butter? Vegan. Those honey bun things in vending machines that each have around 100% of your daily recommended saturated fat? Vegan. Edit: technically those honey bun things might not count if people count honey as non-vegan, but I knew a ton of vegans who said honey and only honey didn't count for some reason
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# ¿ Feb 15, 2012 23:02 |
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Yeah, it's probably godawful to anyone with real taste in macaroni and cheese, but I practically inhaled Kraft's macaroni and cheese when I was a kid so I still have a soft spot for it. Just the shape ones, though - I always said they tasted different and my mom just assumed I was being a dumb kid for the longest time, but then my dad tried one with shapes and one with elbow noodles and he was like "What the hell these do taste different." I have no idea why.
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# ¿ Feb 16, 2012 02:55 |
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Where the hell do you two live? 4.53/lb for elk and duck around here means there's chestbursters in the meat or it's a going out of business sale.
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# ¿ Feb 16, 2012 18:29 |
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I didn't even remember today was Mardi Gras until I went to dinner and the student dining hall was dishing out gumbo, which only happens once in a blue moon and is the only thing they always do right. I'm probably going to be making GBS threads flames later tonight but it was worth it.
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# ¿ Feb 21, 2012 23:42 |
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Steve Yun posted:Is it wrong for me to think margarine tastes good? gently caress the haters, I was raised with it and I think it has its places. However you need to use actual butter when cooking or frying stuff or else you're insane.
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# ¿ Feb 27, 2012 00:08 |
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I live in Ohio. I paid twenty bucks for a mid-sized lobster tail at a halfway decent restaurant the first time I had lobster - I'm allergic to saltwater fish, and it wasn't until a few years ago that I discovered that shellfish don't trigger my allergy for some reason. While it wasn't bad, it was definitely not twenty bucks for half a meal good. And yeah, most of the deliciousness was from the drawn butter. I haven't had crab yet, but my parents love it, and most of you seem to be championing it, so I'll have to try some the next time I can find some in the Midwest that won't make me broke for a week. Shrimp, on the other hand, can be delicious, but I find that it's really, really easy to gently caress up shrimp, and there are many, many ways in which it can be hosed up. The best shrimp I've had have either been in gumbo or been served as panko shrimp. Also don't ask me about the time I tried warming up Chinese food and discovered exactly why people say to never microwave shrimp
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# ¿ Feb 29, 2012 17:44 |
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So I just had crab for the first time tonight, my dad somehow found Dungeness crab in Ohio that wasn't a solid hunk of overpriced ice with some crab bits in it. Of the flavors I was expecting, I was not expecting overpowering sweetness. It tasted like someone threw a bucket of sugar in the ocean and made meat out of it somehow. It was good, but the first bite was extremely confusing. Also I'm pretty sure crabs are actually Satan's puzzle-boxes because I nearly lost an eye several times trying to get the son of a bitch open.
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# ¿ Mar 7, 2012 06:06 |
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White People posted:After a late breakfast, I figured a late lunch would be fashionable. _______________________________/
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# ¿ Mar 8, 2012 00:45 |
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Phummus posted:Point/Counterpoint if you will. This is my first attempt at a smoked pork shoulder. It took me somewhat less than 22 hours. Wanna eat dat pork Seriously though, that looks really good, and I don't usually go for smoked meat.
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# ¿ Apr 23, 2012 15:34 |
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NosmoKing posted:Aikido doesn't have a lot of hugging. It's kind of a lot more like holding hands. Except I kept flying through the Frikin' air I took Aikido for a couple months, and it was actually rather pretty to watch the people who knew what they were doing. Then I got in and felt like I was made of spaghetti with Parkinson's in comparison. Also, it was humbling to see how fast I could go from being on my feet to being held against the ground with a limb halfway wrenched off like I was a GI Joe toy in the hands of that kid who liked frying ants. And yet the real thing I remember from that class is that no matter how far you can huck somebody, if someone brings in a knife, it's time to seriously consider how much you value your life, and if they bring in a gun, you'd better hope you have your affairs sorted out.
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# ¿ Apr 30, 2012 17:30 |
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Grand Fromage posted:I once believed that, then I moved to Asia. A friend of mine once called me racist for saying his father was an awful driver, until I pointed out I wasn't saying that because he was from China, it was because he was going 95 in a minivan in a 55 area with three high schoolers in the car, and wasn't even wearing a seat belt. I'm still sort of stunned we didn't either get pulled over or rocketed out of the window shield. We did make fantastic time, though.
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# ¿ May 9, 2012 03:20 |
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homerlaw posted:Just wear jorts, problem solved! Mohawk! Skullet! Beetface! Jorts! Clunky cell phone! By your powers combined, I am Captain Midwesterner!
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# ¿ May 19, 2012 01:47 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnBF6bv4Oe4 If you had told me before dinner tonight that you could cleanly cook corn perfectly in the microwave and get rid of most of the silk at the same time I would have called you a liar or a wizard. Well we tried doing this tonight, and holy poo poo, it worked. There were still some scraps of silk in the corn but they were easy to pick out, and it tasted pretty drat good. I think this is the first time I've eaten corn on the cob without feeling the need to floss for an hour
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# ¿ Jun 29, 2012 00:55 |
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What catapults it from pretty tacky to flat out awful is the the combo of "Made in the USA" for the belt buckle and the "Just like bartenders use!" bit on the completely and utterly unnecessary speed opener.
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# ¿ Jul 9, 2012 20:35 |
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Just last night I was having dinner with my parents and they were having salmon. We discussed how violently allergic I was as a kid to saltwater fish, to the point where even touching something that fish had touched earlier would make me explode into welts and hives that looked like I'd been attacked by a biker gang of bees. I had dutifully stayed away from fish for about ten or fifteen years, and only recently discovered that I was not allergic to shellfish (which I now fuckin' love.) On a whim, I asked if I could try some of the salmon, and we did the usual allergy test - take a piece and rub it on the back of my hand. When I was a kid, if we did that with fish, my hand would look like the wrong side of Two-Face's face in about a minute. Five minutes passed. Nothing happened, not even the tiniest itch on my hand. I said to hell with it and took a bite of the salmon. It was delicious, but I held off just in case. Thirty seconds later, my hand started itching. I figured it was my imagination. Thirty seconds after that, my lower lip started to itch like mad, but I figured it was just some of the salt in the buttered corn I was having getting into a little cut. About a minute later my mouth felt like it was made of bone-dry sandpaper and my throat started tightening as my Judas hand finally showed its allergic reaction. After a benadryl, copious profanity, and a lot of violent coughing, I was back to normal, if a bit zonked out. Moral of the story: if you're allergic to something, don't think you've grown out of it and take a big bite of it like a huge dumbass.
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# ¿ Aug 9, 2012 05:30 |
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Phummus posted:"Chef" Aaron Sanchez just said a plaintain is "nothing like a banana. Its a root vegetable " I suddenly miss the Food Network hate thread.
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# ¿ Aug 13, 2012 04:19 |
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Countdown to some confused dude in TCC rubbing steaks on his eyes starts...now
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# ¿ Aug 14, 2012 21:34 |
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So I'm in an off-campus apartment for the first time this year and my first few attempts have had mixed success. Slow-cooked beef, onions, and green beans in tomato juice, peppers, and assorted "gently caress it that should work" spices: loving delicious when cooked, but my first attempt to actually cook it was foiled when the power strip the crockpot was hooked up to actually wasn't turned on and I came home to lukewarm meat stew. After much cursing, nearly ordering pizza, and eventually warming up some spring rolls instead, I cooked it properly the next day after having it spend the night in the fridge. It surprisingly did not kill me though all the peppers and spices in it made me poo poo flames. I have enough leftovers to hold me over for a couple lazy dinners. Omelets with shredded cheese and garlic: Very, very quickly I realized that the pan I was using didn't have a non-stick coating, and very, very soon after that I discovered that cleaning up burnt egg crust from a non-nonstick pan is about as fun as sticking your arm in a blender. I think I'll be having cereal for breakfast until I figure out a way to use these eggs without wrecking a pan every time. The omelet itself was pretty good though, but nothing to write home about. Tacos: Surprisingly went off without a hitch. Also delicious. Also I realized I can't make several things I wanted to because we forgot to bring skillet lids. I feel like such an incompetent goon but somehow I have avoided killing myself in a grease fire yet, so I have a step up on Masaokis at least.
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# ¿ Aug 23, 2012 20:30 |
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So tonight I had my first real nothing-from-a-box meal in this apartment. I took some chicken breasts, dredged them in flour, and pan-fried them. Then I deglazed the pan with some cheap bourbon I have on hand and made a garlic-bourbon pan sauce for it. Verdict: holy poo poo I somehow managed to have leftovers so I put the chicken breasts in a small tupperware container with the pan sauce, is that going to totally wreck the chicken if I leave it like that, or improve it?
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# ¿ Sep 7, 2012 04:53 |
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So who was it that said I had a sentient allergy that was trying to murder me? Because I think you were right. This happened a few days ago but I just now realized y'all might wanna hear my continued suffering. I discovered that a pre-made crab dip I enjoy (hey, it's Ohio, you find me some good crab that won't cost me several limbs and/or require a several hour drive to Jungle Jim's) has krab filler, namely pollock according to the ingredients list. Since I don't explode into horrific hives when I eat it, I assumed that I must not be allergic to pollock and got some filets to make for myself. I took them out to rinse and defrost them, and by the time I was done I'd gotten my hands all over the things. I finished up the preparations, and stuck them in the oven. Literally the minute I shut the oven door, my arms started itching, and I looked down to my chest where I'd idly wiped a hand to see four long angry red finger-track welts starting to form. By the time I told myself yes, this is an allergic reaction and I'm gonna have to throw the half-cooked filets out, I'd also realized I'd wiped my eye before completely washing my hands off. So as I'm carrying the garbage bag of melted butter, half-done fish, garlic, and other detritus out to the garbage cans outside, I end up having to walk by an outdoor block party the next student apartment over, already rip-roaring drunk at 7:30 in the evening. They yelled at me to come over and play cornhole - the horrible Midwestern sport, if that gets your mind out of the gutter (it doesn't) - and I had to decline due to a swelling throat and madly burning eye that probably made me look like Balor at that point. I then went back inside to wash any remaining fish oil off me in the shower, changed clothes, made a strong drink to stop the horrible burning So, what the hell causes the pollock in this crab dip to play nice? Maybe the oils on it are washed off or something? Something about the krab making process? Cruel fate?
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# ¿ Sep 11, 2012 00:25 |
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EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:The fillets of pollock were raw, right? Yes, but if you're saying that's the cause, even cooked fish makes me explode into allergic reactions - see my earlier salmon story.
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# ¿ Sep 11, 2012 00:46 |
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So after seeing Modernist Cuisine get mentioned a lot in GWS threads and by people who generally know how to make rad food I looked up how much it costs. Who the gently caress pays over five hundred dollars for a dang cookbook set, glorious spergery within or not And is a sous-vide machine really worth another ~500 on top of that?
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# ¿ Oct 23, 2012 04:36 |
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Sandralimu posted:Or you could just throw some acorns on a Wal-Mart coffee cake and call it Kwanzaa. Up to you. This shames me more than it should. I am actually tempted to get them both, I just don't nearly have the disposable income for either. Hearing about the cheaper versions is helpful though, thanks.
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# ¿ Oct 23, 2012 05:03 |
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KWC posted:Hey. Hey now buddy. I can't tell if that is offensive to me as an Ohioan or not. I'm from Ohio and I freely admit that we poo poo on Florida because it's one of the few places we can justifiably poo poo on. The only unequivocally good thing about living here that I can think of is that we get good bourbon really cheap without actually being in Kentucky. Though really the grand Ohio pastime is all of the major cities taking turns dissing each other in a giant daisy chain that inevitably ends at Youngstown or Cleveland. That or we play cornhole. Yes, we invented the meaning of cornhole that doesn't have to do with buttfucking.
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# ¿ Nov 1, 2012 04:35 |
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Well, because I wanted to practice cooking poultry on my own so I can do something for family christmas, I just fisted a duck and ripped out its entrails before sticking it in the oven. Now all I have to do is pray that I didn't mess up, or miss something cleaning and I won't get thundershits two weeks from now when I chop up a green pepper or something. It's been five minutes and I already hear the fat sizzling from a room away
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# ¿ Dec 5, 2012 23:59 |
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So I just finished up the duck. That was probably the best thing I've ever made on my own and I know I could have done it better. I also need to learn how to carve poultry properly, instead of just ripping stuff off.
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# ¿ Dec 6, 2012 02:51 |
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bunnielab posted:It is nice to every once and a while just savage a duck. If you get a small one you feel like a giant in a fairy tale. I realized I was channeling my inner caveman around the time I ripped off half the ribs and peeled them away from the breast rather than try to carve it off without loving up.
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# ¿ Dec 6, 2012 04:49 |
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I am fairly certain a good deal of my body weight is currently delicious, delicious stuffing. Oh, and turkey, but mostly stuffing. My sister's boyfriend, who's not her fiance solely because he's allergic to the idea of commitment despite living with her for like a year now, got a bottle of vodka and some Bloody Mary mix in his stocking thanks to my dad and I. He was quite pleased and proceeded to have a tipsy debate with me about food safety, genetically modified foods, hunting for his own venison jerky in northern Michigan, his uncle who burned out on LSD in the 70s and has a moose trophy with a nine foot antler span, and the differences between socialism, Marxism, Leninism, and Stalinism. Meanwhile my sister went over our cousin's new baby, my cats went at all the visitors, and I now have a proper roasting rack that will fit the pans I own so I can cook stuff like pork loins, roasts, and poultry without jury-rigging with foil up at school. A Good Christmas. Daeren fucked around with this message at 00:18 on Dec 26, 2012 |
# ¿ Dec 26, 2012 00:10 |
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SubG posted:Same here. Pretty much everything I've eaten over the past couple days has been promptly converted into sweat, wind, and watery turds. Making me even more charming company than usual. I actually had food poisoning this morning and was on the can for about two hours of thundershits due to some poor choices involving gambling on expiration dates. Whatup my fellow Nurglite brothas
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# ¿ Jan 2, 2013 08:24 |
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BlueGrot posted:I just discovered Sandra Lee. That had better be an expression of slack-jawed horror mister
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# ¿ Apr 3, 2013 01:10 |
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BlueGrot posted:I don't know what to feel. It's so awful. It's so perfect. She mixed some cream of mushroom with white wine. I sarcastically said "sauce done" and she did as well. Here's a fun game to try, watch just how much alcohol Sandra Lee consumes in an average episode of her shows, or even how much she uses in her ubiquitous cocktails. She gets well past social drinking into straight up " slow down girl, drat" alcoholic territory.
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# ¿ Apr 3, 2013 01:17 |
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dino. posted:I looked at the calendar, and it's only eight more months until Christmas! My dog of nearly 11 years just got diagnosed with an inoperable tumor and has about a month left in her, which is around the time I'll be finishing finals so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to see her. I just wanted to say that this sentence alone helped brighten my extremely lovely weekend, let alone the rest of your post. You are such a dork about your husband that it's adorable, and the thread of goons helping you discover the true meaning of Christmas is possibly the most heartwarming thing I can remember coming out of these forums. Thanks.
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# ¿ Apr 22, 2013 00:32 |
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This feature about a bunch of grandmas all over the world cooking for a dude reminds me how badly it sucks to have a grandma who grew up in the Midwest during the Great Depression and thus thinks all meat should be cooked until it has a texture best described as "cottony." She could kick your grandma's rear end in a pie contest though. Yes, yours.
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# ¿ May 17, 2013 18:06 |
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Doh004 posted:His name is Robert Paulson. "UGH! Meatloaf, again!?"
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# ¿ Dec 22, 2013 20:50 |
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I got me an Anova sous-vide machine, and a sous-vide book by Tom Keller to go with it! ...I think I may have put my book priority in the wrong order. While this one is really pretty, and the recipes look fantastic, I'm noting just how serious the guy was when he said this was a book for professional chefs working line kitchens. Some of this I could tweak to turn into home recipes, but goddamn. If nothing else, it's an interesting look into the profession. Besides, I can always get recipes and tips from the thread we have.
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# ¿ Dec 25, 2013 21:58 |
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Casu Marzu posted:
that's about 20 degrees from the lowest temperature ever recorded on earth, obtained from Siberia.
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# ¿ Jan 4, 2014 02:02 |
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pr0k posted:Not all of us. Fake allergies make me punchy. People often assume "I'm crazy allergic to fish, but not shellfish" means "I am faking an allergy and/or exaggerating" until I explain or they witness me exploding into hives. The most recent time was when a friend of mine eating a pork and fish plate used his fork he'd been using to eat fish to pass some pork to me to try, and I spent the next hour trying not to desperately scratch the inside of my own mouth.
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# ¿ Jan 10, 2014 21:22 |
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Goddamnit why do I keep forgetting to season things before putting them in the vac bags to svizzle
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# ¿ Mar 31, 2014 22:34 |
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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 04:51 |
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^^ I swear to God I thought that was something's dick for a moment. Svizzle status: complete, and it was a hit even without the seasoning. I did asparagus at 185 for fifteen minutes, cooled the water, duck breasts at 137 for about an hour and fifteen minutes, rendered the skins in a skillet to finish them off, took the duck fat, mixed it with melted butter, and made a duck fat ghetto hollandaise with an immersion blender to go on the asparagus. The hollandaise clumped up the moment I looked at it funny and it wasn't that pretty on the plate, but it combined with the sous-vide asparagus to make the best version of asparagus I've ever eaten, and the duck was pretty great too. I cranked up the temperature a bit to make it a bit closer to medium for my mother, but I think I'd take it back down to 135 for a bit longer if I made it again.
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# ¿ Apr 1, 2014 00:55 |