March N/V: FLAMINGOS ARE...A GO? (Awesome starts on page 46)

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > March N/V: FLAMINGOS ARE...A GO? (Awesome starts on page 46)

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How exited are you now? This poll is closed.
Really excited	76	46.34%
Kind of excited	16	9.76%
Not really excited	6	3.66%
My team sucks, why bother	6	3.66%
My team sucks, this is going to rule	51	31.10%
Which teams will be good, I need to know who to root for	9	5.49%
Total:	164 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

What's it going to cost the Cardinals to buy out that option? Or do they get out of it because it's mutual?

# ¿ Mar 1, 2012 20:45

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 04:22

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Luigi Thirty posted:

Yeah, he said he really didn't want to leave in the first place.

The new market inefficiency is players that lovely teams want to sign.

e: Important breaking news out of Pirates camp. It seems that pitcher Brad Lincoln has won the bunting competition. No word on Clint Hurdle's next plan to expose one of our star players ( :v:

) to freak injury.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGTjlScinxQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuwtF-3LMTs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjmn3ehPztQ

# ¿ Mar 2, 2012 00:01

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

SirPhoebos posted:

FAKE EDIT: I didn't know that bunting competitions were a thing this spring training. I heard about the Cubs one, but not the Pirates.

Apparently, in the Pirates' case, it's a Clint Hurdle thing; this is their "second annual" bunting tournament.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2012 00:21

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

will_colorado posted:

Prince Fielder did this:

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/mlb-big-league-stew/prince-fielder-hits-611-foot-home-run-batting-212749120.html

Three gratuitous Cecil references, not bad. I'll expect more as the season progresses, but it's Spring Training for the reporters too.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2012 01:21

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Mr. Fix It posted:

It may be March quantity, but this is some mid-season content

I really do like the idea of a baseball player taking notes on all their dingers, though.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2012 01:32

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

The Born Approx. posted:

Ugh, the new playoff format is gonna suuuuuuck. Pretty much eliminates the possibility for an actually interesting game 163.

I hope this year at least one of the play-in games is between an 84-78 team and a 79-83 team played in front of a half empty stadium. Failing that, a 100 win team being eliminated in one game by an 86 win team would also be acceptable.

And the 100-win team is either the YANKS or SAWX.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2012 21:08

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

So Gameday seems to have a lot more flashing and bouncing than last season.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2012 22:28

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Senf posted:

Goin' with 2006 Cards

The A's are not going to be as good as the '06 Cards.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2012 22:49

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Y'all are thinking too small. The stadium itself should just be a giant dinger machine.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2012 00:53

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Rand alPaul posted:

I can't believe two recently traded Yankees have been injured by foul balls.

Burnett's out for 8-12 weeks, by the by.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2012 01:53

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

camoseven posted:

Don't worry, the Buccos still have Erik Bedard! I'm sure he'll be able to avoid injury all season, freak or otherwise

If we're lucky, he can last til Burnett's back and Brad Lincoln will be good, and we won't have to see much Kevin Correia.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2012 03:32

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Charlie Manuel posted:

When you're sitting there and a guy brings up sabermetrics, they don't know nothing about that guy, and that may be the biggest thing. Sometimes a guy will look at you and say, 'Why did you play that guy, he's 1 for 16 against that guy with seven punch-outs?' But when I've watched that guy, he might be 1 for 16, but nine of those at-bats the guy hit about three or four balls hard.

Reminder that people get paid millions of dollars to make baseball decisions and believe sabermetrics is all about pitcher/batter matchups over a 16-PA sample.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2012 11:19

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Scoobi posted:

Michael Sanserino ‏ @msanserino

Source: #Pirates and Andrew McCutchen agree on a 6-year contract worth $51.5 m with a club option for $14.75 m.

McCutch must hate money.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3ALwKeSEYs

# ¿ Mar 5, 2012 11:37

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

last i checked you needed approx 25 base ball players to make a team

Don't get me wrong, it's a fair signing and it's definitely a positive indicator for the state of the team but if I were a buccos fan I wouldn't stop being pessimistic because of this. Then again, I'm a New Englander so my default state is pessimism.

This is pretty much as good as it's going to get as a Pirates fan, from a future outlook perspective. Our two best young players are locked into long-term team-friendly deals, the third member of our outfield projects to be a third exciting young player by the end of the season (whether Presley manages to stick or Marte comes up), we've got a pretty good 2B under control through his prime. We've got a bunch of long-term mid-rotation possibilities in the Majors and upper minors, and a bunch of potential aces in the lower minors. Pedro Alvarez still could turn into a good player. And finally, the new ownership has consistently come through and demonstrated a willingness to spend money to help the team.

If a Pirates fan can't be happy now, they should give up on baseball, because the future is only going to get worse going forward.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2012 22:02

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Grozz Nuy posted:

I was going to add a caveat to that post that Walter Haas died almost 20 years ago but I thought it was unnecessary. Fine, no current MLB owner would voluntarily give away those rights.

Just because every owner is lovely doesn't mean we shouldn't call them when they act shittily.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2012 23:19

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

CraigK posted:

Of course, we also get every cat in a three-mile radius coming up to the front door and meowing for food, so

# ¿ Mar 6, 2012 01:00

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

McCutchen deal details:

$1.25m bonus

12: $500k
13: $4.5m
14: $7.25m
15: $10m
16: $13m
17: $14m
18: $14.75m team option ($1m buyout)

:circlefap:

# ¿ Mar 6, 2012 01:35

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

euphronius posted:

That's pretty awesome because I think you will definitely get at least 3 more years now until he is traded.

hahaha it's funny because it's original :rolleye:

# ¿ Mar 6, 2012 01:42

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

euphronius posted:

I was being sincere.

Oh, well, in that case 1) sorry for assuming, but 2) that's a dumb conclusion since Cutch has three years of arb, so the main value of this deal to the club is getting those FA years at (hopefully) a discount. If they didn't intend to pay him, they'd have just gone year to year.

Also I'm pretty sure that NL Central fans should root for the Pirates if for no other reason than payback for all the free wins over the last two decades. :colbert:

e: ^^^ Votto is under contract through 2013, I believe that they're working on a BP extension (but of course that doesn't mean it will get done).

fake e2: Also, the Pirates are now reportedly working to lock up Neil Walker.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2012 01:56

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

euphronius posted:

Yeah, I was responding to this

It seems this deal benefits the Pirates because going year to year would be more expensive. So they get a deal for the first three years and then can trade him after three.

I don't think that Cutch stands to make so much more than $23M in his arb years that just those savings would be worth guaranteeing a contract if you were cheap enough to be unwilling to pay $13M to a star player.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2012 02:13

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Charlie Morton is recovering ahead of schedule, and threw 28 pitches in the Pirates' B-game today.

fake e: c-c-c-combo breaker

# ¿ Mar 7, 2012 22:05

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Moe_Rahn posted:

i am a loving weirdo when it comes to the DH because in video games and poo poo i like to play as AL teams because i want to just mash taters all the time and more DH means more taters, but in real life i have some strange primordial revulsion towards it for reasons that are not entirely clear to me, despite my dingerlove

also i think i assumed jeff clement was dead, but it turns out he instead is on pittsburgh's triple-a team because he just sucks that much, seriously how bad do you have to be

He has a shot at the Opening Day roster, though he is pretty bad and I don't expect/want him to make it unless he's magically reacquired the ability to play catcher.

Also, I'm the exact opposite of you re: DH. I like pitchers batting in videogames because I enjoy the :siren:

strategy

of bunting and pinch hitting and double switching and all that bullshit, but I find it much less interesting when it's some idiot manager doing it so I'd rather just see a real hitter. (Though I'd be relatively happy to not have a DH, since it would hurt the Pirates.)

# ¿ Mar 7, 2012 23:15

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Pumpkin McPastry posted:

Baltimore should cram a soulstone in Peter Angelos' head and tether him to a gigantic nightmarish bird in center field of Camden.

But what would they do when Ray Lewis has to go to practice?

# ¿ Mar 7, 2012 23:58

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Carlton Banks posted:

I hope not. Not because of some annoying purist poo poo, but just because I like the idea of the leagues having a major rule difference which makes interleague games interesting, rather than feeling like just another game..

Do you really get super jazzed for interleague games? "Oh man, Doug Fister is going to bunt today!" "I can't wait to see Skip Schumacher play DH!"

Interleague is just games against a team you don't watch very much.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2012 01:14

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Rand alPaul posted:

The Phillies are so old and brittle. It's ridiculous.

As on every issue, the SA Hivemind unites most of us behind the correct answer (DH).

Also, what the hell of value were we going to get derailed from, anyway?

# ¿ Mar 8, 2012 03:04

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Cabbit posted:

It's not really a direct comparison, no, but they are actual athletes of some caliber, presumably in decent shape, and like I said sort of have an entire major league training staff behind them. I have to imagine one of them can teach the dude to run safely and also tell him to not slide headfirst into a base or some poo poo.

Though, they don't even tell position players that sort of thing so who knows.

Most injuries on the basepaths do not occur due to just running.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2012 07:54

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

R.D. Mangles posted:

I'm really enjoying how much contempt you've apparently invested in people who like a minor aspect of a sport.

If we allow bad arguments over the DH, next thing you know we'll decide to allow bad arguments over anything! :v:

# ¿ Mar 8, 2012 20:12

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Why don't we just let people post if they don't want their team to sign Roy Oswalt, I'm sure it will be a shorter list.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2012 23:41

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

The Prisoner posted:

The Giants, for fear he will turn into a pumpkin.

Or worse, Barry Zito.

Roy Oswalt is a pretty low-risk pickup. There's little else a team would be spending money on this season, and if he implodes or gets another serious injury he'll probably retire and save you any future money.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2012 00:17

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

tinstaach posted:

Today on "Just How Wrong Can ESPN Get This?":

http://espn.go.com/sportsnation/feature/sweetspot/2012/sweetspot

Apparently there's a fan vote to determine the single best batting season of all time. .362/609/.812 is nowhere to be found. Barrold's 2001 lost in the second round to Ken Griffey Jr.'s 1997 (not even the best season in 1997, says Mr. McGwire). I wish they didn't have a one-season-per-player rule, if only to have the round of 16 only consist of Bonds, Babe, and Ted Williams.

And 2002 was actually better than Bonds's 2001 by a significant margin.

Also, apparently Derrek Lee still wants to play baseball this year. Someone sign him, for the love of god.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2012 02:58

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

ozymandius1024 posted:

If he wanted to play he could, you know, sign with the Pirates or something.

I suspect that since the Burnett trade, the amount the Pirates would be willing to pay for him has come down. I'm not sure that the amount he's willing to take has done so. But the Pirates were among the somebodies that I'd like to sign him. I'd be happy for him to go to literally any team.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2012 03:03

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

camoseven posted:

Is there a deadline by which he has to sign in order for the Pirates to get comp picks (or whatever the compensation is now)?

The compensation is unchanged, they'd get a sandwich pick for him (and approximately $1M more in their draft pool :geno:

). I don't know when he'd have to sign, though I imagine the most likely deadlines are Opening Day or draft day.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2012 03:30

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Gonz posted:

If you happen to be a Pirates fan, don't read this, since you will be driven into an unstoppable blinding rage from which there is no escape:

Sid Bream is a pretty cool guy, though. v :unsmith:

# ¿ Mar 9, 2012 05:59

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Deathlove posted:

Not feeling good about this. gently caress.

Paul Maholm owns.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2012 19:56

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

DrGonzo90 posted:

Neither Prince or Miguel want to DH. That's basically it. Also, I think Leyland thinks they might not hit as well at DH as they would if they played the field.

I'm kind of worried that the stress of 3B (both mental and physical) will negatively affect Cabrera more than DHing theoretically would.

Prince Fielder is the new Adam Dunn.

Oh, what a beautiful world that would be.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2012 21:08

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Dr. Capco posted:

Yeah..... well screw you too buddy

Hey, I'm rooting for your team to win the AL, but once a Brewer always a Brewer

# ¿ Mar 9, 2012 21:36

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

tinstaach posted:

Can't wait to see this posted several times in every GDT for each ~~Marlins~~ dinger

Unironic agreement.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2012 06:01

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

CraigK posted:

On a vaguely related note, remember that they're the Fighters of Hokkaido Nippon Ham, not the Ham Fighters of Hokkaido Nippon

# ¿ Mar 12, 2012 02:27

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

BrooklynBruiser posted:

N: The Braves are 1-10 through Spring Training thus far.

V: Are they really that bad, or is this just a massive fluke? I thought they did reasonably well last season, and I didn't hear about anyone huge leaving the team in the offseason.

They're nothing without Derek Lowe

# ¿ Mar 13, 2012 00:25

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 04:22

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Regnevelc posted:

What? Since when has your best hitter not hit #3? Isn't it optimal that they hit there given they have the opportunity to hit with people on in front of them and gives them a high chance for an extra AB during the game?

E: Compared to the 4 spot? Where there is an equally tremendous chance he ends up 0 outs and 0 guys in front of him?

You should put your 5th-best hitter in the #3 spot. For most teams, the best overall hitter should bat #2, the best high-OBP guy first (steals are nice too), best high-SLG guy #4, and the fourth-best hitter should hit #5. Your worst hitter should bat #8, and your highest remaining OBP should go in the #9. #6 and #7 go in descending order of quality, preferring SLG in the latter if they're tied.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2012 19:26

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