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DROP TABLE PHIZ
Feb 10, 2018

IF YOU AIN'T GETTIN LIT YOU BETTER STAY OUT BITCH

Yeah i gotta imagine dumping grain alcohol into fizzy water is way cheaper than fermentation from a labor standpoint, even if the excise tax is much higher.

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CleverHans
Apr 25, 2011



Yams Fan

danbanana posted:

It's not taxes. It's simply state-based regulations on what booze a business can produce. Most states have separate license requirements for brewing and for distilling. This can even be ingredient-based. Off Color had to spend months getting a license to brew sake, which functionally is no different than brewing beer other than ingredients and process:

https://brewingindustryguide.com/case-study-off-color-brewing/

So most places making seltzer don't have the option to dump grain alcohol into sparkling water.

It is taxes.

At least if you are talking about all the biggest, most successful brands of alcoholic seltzers, which just happen to be malt based.

There are radically different license requirements at the federal level for breweries vs. distilleries, not even getting into individual state level requirements, so, yes, this is yet another reason why making fizzy, fruity booze water out of wine or distillates is generally a losing proposition unless you've got mega-multinational booze company money, but the economics are vastly more favorable for FMBs.

Here's a citation for you, so we can stop this derail from actual beer chat: https://beerandbrewing.com/dictionary/q4HZXwMduh/

MunchE
Sep 7, 2000

A CALIFORNIA CHEESEBURGER!

CleverHans posted:

It is taxes.

At least if you are talking about all the biggest, most successful brands of alcoholic seltzers, which just happen to be malt based.

There are radically different license requirements at the federal level for breweries vs. distilleries, not even getting into individual state level requirements, so, yes, this is yet another reason why making fizzy, fruity booze water out of wine or distillates is generally a losing proposition unless you've got mega-multinational booze company money, but the economics are vastly more favorable for FMBs.

Here's a citation for you, so we can stop this derail from actual beer chat: https://beerandbrewing.com/dictionary/q4HZXwMduh/

also FWIW at least around here a ton more places are licensed to sell beer/wine vs. "canned cocktails" which means they have a market incentive to make the beverage malt based

CleverHans
Apr 25, 2011



Yams Fan

MunchE posted:

also FWIW at least around here a ton more places are licensed to sell beer/wine vs. "canned cocktails" which means they have a market incentive to make the beverage malt based

A good point, as well, that varies state by state - here in MA there are many more places with just wine/beer sales licenses rather than full spirits licenses.

Basically the entire regulatory structure in the US ends up incentivizing using beer-like fermented products, scrubbed of all residual flavor, for our alcopops/seltzers.

Halloween Liker
Oct 31, 2020



White Claw uses predominantly millet, cane sugar and other gluten free grains.

Halloween Liker fucked around with this message at 04:19 on Jan 25, 2021

GnarlyCharlie4u
Sep 23, 2007

I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof


Costco occasionally has some great local-ish beers here.
This week I picked up Hardywood Raspberry stout because it's been long enough that I can't remember what it tastes like.

I also snagged a second 4-pack of Downeast Apple Cider Donut Cider for the wife. I say "for the wife" but I'm not the least bit upset when she doesn't finish her beer and I get to finish it for her.

Henrik Zetterberg
Dec 7, 2007




People are fuckin MAD they didnít get any Pliny the Younger today. Sold out in like 5 seconds.

RR made a post on BA saying they had 110k people trying to order from 6k available cases. Iím guessing a ton of them were bots but people are steamed as hell. And itís hilarious to see grown adults melt down over beer. And a beer thatís been surpasses by 1000 other breweries in the past 5 years.

highme
May 25, 2001


I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!




I was just laughing to myself the other day because I remembered people used to line up to buy boring rear end Pliny.

GnarlyCharlie4u
Sep 23, 2007

I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof


what the gently caress is a Pliny?

highme
May 25, 2001


I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!




Gross

Henrik Zetterberg
Dec 7, 2007




GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

what the gently caress is a Pliny?

A beer that has an extremely poor taste to availability ratio. Mostly by design.

Scrotum Modem
Sep 12, 2014



according to beeradvocate ratings, it's the 6th best beer in the world. I dunno, IPAs not my thing. #2 is a Marshmallow Handjob - as an imperial stout fan/addict I need to try that some time

Spuckuk
Aug 11, 2009

Being a bastard works



Scrotum Modem posted:

according to beeradvocate ratings, it's the 6th best beer in the world. I dunno, IPAs not my thing. #2 is a Marshmallow Handjob - as an imperial stout fan/addict I need to try that some time

BA ratings are now and always more based on rarity than quality

Vivian Darkbloom
Jul 14, 2004



I've been drinking non-alcoholic (<1% abv) beerish drinks because my stomach can't handle alcohol lately. Lagunitas makes IPNA which is ok but seems to be trying a little too hard to mask the lack of alcohol and Hop Water which is pretty tasty but not that reminiscent of beer. I also tried a couple drinks with sugar: a soda that sort of tastes like a dry lambic and a German style of lemonade with malt. These are pretty good at scratching the beer itch though they are kind of heavy because of the added sugar.

My favorite so far is Clausthaler Dry Hopped, which is just malt and hops without yeast. It says under 0.5% so I guess it might ferment a little on its own? This is the best one I've found for convincing my lizard brain I'm having a beer in the evening. Any other good ones I can try? I might be able to get the local bottle shop to order exotic ones.

JohnCompany
Jan 16, 2015

this sentence no verb



Can you get anything from Athletic brewing near you? They're not fantastic beers, but they definitely tick all the "this is a beer" notes.

Fat Lou
Jan 21, 2008

Desert Heat? I thought it was Dessert Heat. No wonder it tastes so bad.



JohnCompany posted:

Can you get anything from Athletic brewing near you? They're not fantastic beers, but they definitely tick all the "this is a beer" notes.

As much as they taste like unfermented wort they are some of the better NAs I have had. That being said, Bravus Oatmeal Stout is easily the best NA I have ever had though.

Vivian Darkbloom
Jul 14, 2004



JohnCompany posted:

Can you get anything from Athletic brewing near you? They're not fantastic beers, but they definitely tick all the "this is a beer" notes.

Yeah, a local bottle shop has those. Is the All Out Stout any good?

Mahoning
Feb 3, 2007


I donít think theyíve launched it yet but Flying Dog has an NA beer coming out soon called Deep Fake. I believe itís an IPA but Iím not sure.

Vivian Darkbloom
Jul 14, 2004



Now I have to drive to Total Wine in Vancouver, WA. Thanks jerks

highme
May 25, 2001


I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!




Oof, thatís a horrible fate. If you have to cross the Columbia to get there, my local New Seasons (Tualatin) has turned their entire bar into a NA beverage display and have a few different flavors of that Athletic stuff. I imagine thatís the same for all of them.

funkybottoms
Oct 28, 2010

Funky Bottoms is a land man

my friend who has tried a lot of NA stuff said Heineken was the one that tasted most like a normal beer

Spuckuk
Aug 11, 2009

Being a bastard works



A lot of the better traditional german lager makers have been making pretty great af pilsner for forever

Captain Duvel
Dec 14, 2009


I'll tell you what. I got a sample of sam adams wicked hazy NA from work and I think it's the best tasting NA I've had yet. Most of the ones I've tried just don't taste right. I thought brewdogs were awful.

Nestharken
Mar 23, 2006

The bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.


Captain Duvel posted:

I'll tell you what. I got a sample of sam adams wicked hazy NA from work and I think it's the best tasting NA I've had yet. Most of the ones I've tried just don't taste right. I thought brewdogs were awful.

I've tried a number of them and that's been my experience so far--it's like turkey bacon or something, it just doesn't scratch the itch correctly. The best one I've had is Hoplark, probably because they're doing something different instead of "beer, but disappointing".

Vivian Darkbloom
Jul 14, 2004



This Weihenstephaner NA tastes a whole lot like a WeiŖbier without the alcohol. Definitely better with alcohol but still nice.

Control Volume
Dec 31, 2008



Spuckuk posted:

BA ratings are now and always more based on rarity than quality

Theres a BA guy in Denver who does detailed reviews for a whole bunch of unknown local beers and hes one of the only reasons I check BA anymore. I dont even look at other reviews if I see one of his. Thank you, BA guy in Denver

MunchE
Sep 7, 2000

A CALIFORNIA CHEESEBURGER!

funkybottoms posted:

my friend who has tried a lot of NA stuff said Heineken was the one that tasted most like a normal beer

Can confirm Heineken 0.0 is the best NA beer by a lot.

Vivian Darkbloom
Jul 14, 2004



If it also tastes like Heineken I'd rather just be thirsty

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008




Lipstick Apathy

It taste like a empty bottle of Heineken filled back up with water.

But thats just my beer drinkinh opinion. I think non-alcoholic cocktails are a better route for uh non-alcoholic drinks. Shirley temples are great. So are Arnold palmers. Pepsi with lime. Virgin rum n cokes

deedee megadoodoo
Sep 28, 2000
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one to Flavortown, and that has made all the difference.




Oven Wrangler

ShortyMR.CAT posted:

Virgin rum n cokes

danbanana
Jun 7, 2008

OG Bell's fanboi


You just make a regular rum and coke and then drink the rum part.

MunchE
Sep 7, 2000

A CALIFORNIA CHEESEBURGER!

ShortyMR.CAT posted:

It taste like a empty bottle of Heineken filled back up with water.

But thats just my beer drinkinh opinion. I think non-alcoholic cocktails are a better route for uh non-alcoholic drinks. Shirley temples are great. So are Arnold palmers. Pepsi with lime. Virgin rum n cokes

Tbh I ended up making a lot of random mixes of seltzer/la croix, ginger beer, fruit juice (lime, cranberry, grapefruit, orange) and it scratched the beer itch pretty well when I took a month off. Not this month tho

Halloween Liker
Oct 31, 2020



If you have a Persian/Arabic market near you they often have non alcoholic malt beverages.

Most taste like carbonated non fermented wort, but its interesting. I used to by them to drink at my desk during work as we had a Persian market close by.

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008




Lipstick Apathy


Its exactly what you think it is.

thotsky
Jun 7, 2005

hot to trot


Spuckuk posted:

BA ratings are now and always more based on rarity than quality

I've never had one, but I have had plenty of local clones of it, which have been quite good. Bitter simcoe-forward west coast IPAs are pretty nice, although I'd prefer something at 6,5% over 8,0%.

Vivian Darkbloom
Jul 14, 2004



Near beer reviews!

Weihenstephaner Hefe: Tastes exactly like Bavarian white beer with no alcohol. OK but not balanced.
Clausthaler: The normal one is a good pilsner knockoff. The dry hopped one is a GREAT drink with a good bite. Definitely getting that one again.
Bravus Amber: Tastes like any random amber, which is to say not good. Why did I buy this one?
Bravus Raspberry Gose: Very good dry fruity flavor. Not that beery but reminiscent of the gose style.
Bravus Oatmeal Stout: This is an interesting one. It doesn't really taste like a stout but it has a nice full flavor.
Surreal Kolsch: Sort of like La Croix for beer. Only 17 calories in a can so it's got very little malt in there. Probably lovely on a hot day, like a real Kolsch.
Athletic Golden: This is only malt, hops, and yeast, but it has a distinctive citrus taste. More like an unsweet soda but very tasty and only 1/3 of the calories of a can of Coke.

Control Volume
Dec 31, 2008



Its been over a year since I got a beer on draft

Quiet Feet
Dec 14, 2009

THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?



Control Volume posted:

Its been over a year since I got a beer on draft



Went to my favorite brewery in CT today for the first time since last year's Superbowl. Its a few hours away but I normally go in and have a couple of pints while visiting family every 2-3 months. Couldn't go in of course but was at least able to get some beer to go.

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008




Lipstick Apathy

Control Volume posted:

Its been over a year since I got a beer on draft

Look at this guy not buying mini Heineken kegs

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Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

HAILGAYSATAN

Control Volume posted:

Its been over a year since I got a beer on draft

Thank you for your service.

No seriously, thank you for actually following protocols and guidelines and staying inside.

Signed, someone who's watching local covid numbers skyrocket thanks to the super bowl.

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