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OSheaman
May 27, 2004

Heavy Fucking Metal
Fun Shoe
Every year I have that moment of shock when I remember that DeAngelo Hall is still playing.

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Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!

OSheaman posted:

Every year I have that moment of shock when I remember that DeAngelo Hall is still playing.

His jersey is in the hall of fame.

Parlett316
Dec 6, 2002

Jon Snow is viciously stabbed by his friends in the night's watch for wanting to rescue Mance Rayder from Ramsay Bolton

Tae posted:

His jersey is in the hall of fame.

I thought it was just his gloves.

Hizawk
Jun 18, 2004

High on the Lions.

If someone does 5 picks in one game do they then remove Halls place?

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!

Hizawk posted:

If someone does 5 picks in one game do they then remove Halls place?

Nah, it just stays there. He's one of 19 people to do it.

Parlett316
Dec 6, 2002

Jon Snow is viciously stabbed by his friends in the night's watch for wanting to rescue Mance Rayder from Ramsay Bolton
Hall also owns the most interceptions in a half. Jesus Christ Jay.

Declan MacManus
Sep 1, 2011

damn i'm really in this bitch

Parlett316 posted:

Hall also owns the most interceptions in a half. Jesus Christ Jay.

"I'd still throw at him."

-Literal sentiment expressed immediately after the game

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
Armando Salguero, quite possibly the worst beat writer in Miami, was fired from his radio show. He has since been sending nasty private messages on Twitter to people that make fun of him.

https://twitter.com/JaySoCrayZ/status/206824927532302337

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
GFYS!

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
This is the same guy who went on a 10 minute tirade after being introduced on... The Herd... I think... when Peyton was making his "decision" and they brought in different beat writers.

The host introduced him as a beat writer, Armando immediately corrected him and said "I'm a columnist for the Sentinel", where the host said "Well, they are pretty much the same thing" and Salguero used his entire time to explain the difference and why he was better than a beat writer. He then said Peyton would come to Miami because he was familiar with the area.

gently caress he is awful

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
A columnist is better than a beat writer because "beat writer" implies you're responsible for staying up on a "beat" and doing legwork while "columnist" implies you're a lazy retard idiot indistinguishable from a rivals poster

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
He only writes about the Miami Dolphins. That's it.

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
Then the line really is, a beat writer is responsible for something and a columnist isn't.

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
He was acting like being a beat writer is looked down upon by columnists. He was insulted he was considered a beat writer

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
I guess at this point he should be insulted to be considered a radio host huh

RustySeabutter
Nov 11, 2000

Puncho!
peter king blah blah barf

http://www.thejetsblog.com/2012/06/04/peter-king-chooses-not-feed-the-revis-contract-situation-then-does/

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/06/06/gay-former-player-encourages-current-gay-players-to-come-out/related/

Mike Florio posted:

As a result, my initial reaction was to conclude that I’d been the victim of a bait-and-switch, via an effort to build advance buzz for something that, standing along, wouldn’t have drawn much attention. So I initially refused to consider the article or watch the companion interview of Wade Davis.

In most cases (not all, but most), my stubbornness subsides fairly quickly. In this case, I’m glad it did.
thanks for this wonderful insight hack lawyer

superaielman
Mar 16, 2006

You can't harm me. Are you a fucking ass? Do you not know who I am? He must not know who I am.

Crazy685 posted:

Armando Salguero, quite possibly the worst beat writer in Miami, was fired from his radio show. He has since been sending nasty private messages on Twitter to people that make fun of him.

https://twitter.com/JaySoCrayZ/status/206824927532302337

Crazy, I mean this with all disrespect. But you could do Salguero's job better than he could. What an unprofessional twat.

The Packers writers are generally good. Jason Wilde isn't very good as a writer and engages in speculation too much, but he is at least a nice guy who can manage an interview fairly well. That puts him above blithering retards like Peter King.

superaielman fucked around with this message at 23:51 on Jun 6, 2012

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
I'd have much better insults, at least.

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
I just learned that my NEW HERO Mike Florio linked to one of my articles!! I lvoe you mark florida

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/05/05/cox-thomas-facing-civil-suit-over-alleged-rape/

quote:

According to CourthouseNews.com, the woman will be permitted to file suit anonymously, in order to protect her identity.
Yep ham wrote the courthouse news story. Please forgive appearance as I don't make the website or spend the 4 seconds creating the image that slips by copyright laws

I feel this legitimizes Florio entirely and he's now the best writer in footbal.

midwat
May 6, 2007

Mike Florio posted:

As a result, my initial reaction was to conclude that I’d been the victim of a bait-and-switch, via an effort to build advance buzz for something that, standing along, wouldn’t have drawn much attention.

Look at that loving sentence. This man writes for a living.

GonadTheBallbarian
Jul 23, 2007


Rap posted:

I just learned that my NEW HERO Mike Florio linked to one of my articles!! I lvoe you mark florida

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/05/05/cox-thomas-facing-civil-suit-over-alleged-rape/
Yep ham wrote the courthouse news story. Please forgive appearance as I don't make the website or spend the 4 seconds creating the image that slips by copyright laws

I feel this legitimizes Florio entirely and he's now the best writer in footbal.

Every day I thank God that Florio will never link or reference any of my articles ever.

The Incredible Ed
Nov 12, 2006

The way of a sluggard is like a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a level highway.
I hope someday Florio writes about one of my press releases.

Its Miller Time
Dec 4, 2004


I did the math. 35% of this week's MMQB article is about non-football things. The guy doesn't even bother writing about football anymore.

nrr
Jan 2, 2007

Rap posted:

I just learned that my NEW HERO Mike Florio linked to one of my articles!! I lvoe you mark florida

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/05/05/cox-thomas-facing-civil-suit-over-alleged-rape/
Yep ham wrote the courthouse news story. Please forgive appearance as I don't make the website or spend the 4 seconds creating the image that slips by copyright laws

I feel this legitimizes Florio entirely and he's now the best writer in footbal.

ham please become one of florios "league sources" and dance him down the path to a very humiliating and hilariously public demise. tia

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
congrats ham

defiantgiant
Oct 17, 2004

YOU ARE RIDICULOUS now please stop running backward all the time kthx

midwat posted:

Look at that loving sentence. This man writes for a living.
Oh, I'll do you one better: behold this loving masterpiece by the inimitable Scoop Jackson.

Where to start? What's the biggest nugget of corn in this poo poo sundae? Is it Scoop opening the article with a five-paragraph digression about a hypothetical restauranteur he made up? Is it how he mistakenly attributes a quote to Jerry Angelo, when it was actually Ted Phillips speaking months after Angelo's firing? Is it how, in the process of loving up that quotation, he suggests (incorrectly) that the Bears haven't made a new offer to Forte since before last season?

No, the worst thing is the loving SENTENCES. Jesus, look at some of these abominations:

"Stop holding out and accept the franchise tag, which will pay him $7.7 million this season (a significant upgrade from what he made last season, when he was paid $600,000), have the same season he had last season before he was injured then come back to the table and get the contract from the Bears that he was looking for when this whole thing began." - Either Scoop meant for this entire thing to be written in the imperative, or he forgot that most sentences tend to have a subject. Also, there are about fifteen clauses in this fucker, jammed together like passengers on the Tokyo subway, just screaming for a comma.

"Games -- not all, but too many -- teams play in which they want the player to overproduce and when the player does they hold it against them in contract negotiations; ownership saying the "shelf life of a running back is short" as a new way of devaluing a player regardless of what he does and using it as leverage against the value of the player's pending contract." - It takes a special kind of writer to squash an entire paragraph into one sentence, then make that sentence a run-on and a fragment at the same time. How do you write a 66-word sentence without creating a single functioning independent clause? More importantly, who told Scoop Jackson what a semicolon was? Don't ruin semicolons for me, Scoop.

"(If this is the new standard procedure of how NFL teams are going to monetarily access running backs, the entire structure of rookie contracts for players at that position needs to change.)" - Apparently this sentence is important, but also secret. That's the only explanation for why it gets to be its own paragraph, but the whole loving thing also has to be put in parentheses. Also, how the hell does one "monetarily access" a running back? What does that entail, exactly? I'm picturing Scoop trying in vain to swipe his ATM card through Ray Rice.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.
I think his analogy is the worst.

quote:

Let's put this Matt Forte dilemma into a different perspective.

Say you are a young chef doing a stint at a very successful restaurant, working for one of the greatest chefs in the world. Now the restaurant isn't yours and you aren't the head chef, but you are at the sous level. The plates you create begin to get recognized around the country and you are being called one of the nation's best young chefs -- one most other five-star restaurants would kill to have in their kitchens. You're career is beginning to buzz.

[+] Enlarge
AP Photo/Matt SlocumThe Bears are using Matt Forte's heavy workload against him in contract negotiations.
Say the restaurant at which you work recognizes your talent, but doesn't honor it. The owner, perhaps the chef whose name is on the establishment, doesn't necessarily want you to leave, but he's not giving you any reasons to stay. You have options and are in demand. So you leave. Time to test the market.

Say you then open your own restaurant, and within a few years, you get the James Beard Foundation Award as the best chef in America and after that your restaurant is voted the best restaurant in America by Gourmet, Food and Wine and Travel and Leisure magazines.

"Matt Forte isn't being paid by the Bears. So he... should... start his own football team?"

GonadTheBallbarian
Jul 23, 2007


Chichevache posted:

I think his analogy is the worst.


"Matt Forte isn't being paid by the Bears. So he... should... start his own football team?"

We're not talking about the brightest individual here, apparently. Did he write this on a loving iPhone?

You're = you + are
your = you + POSS

GonadTheBallbarian fucked around with this message at 17:35 on Jun 7, 2012

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

Crazy685 posted:

Armando Salguero, quite possibly the worst beat writer in Miami, was fired from his radio show. He has since been sending nasty private messages on Twitter to people that make fun of him.

https://twitter.com/JaySoCrayZ/status/206824927532302337

That just made my day there, even though he'll probably be the filler between dick medicine and pyramid scheme spots on one of the other barely listened to AM sports stations in South Florida within a month.

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
Thank's you mana. Ed what do you press release about? Can I give you my email. need story leads always.

v2vian man fucked around with this message at 18:34 on Jun 7, 2012

The Incredible Ed
Nov 12, 2006

The way of a sluggard is like a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a level highway.

Rap posted:

Thank's you mana. Ed what do you press release about? Can I give you my email. need story leads always.

Georgia politics?

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Chichevache posted:

I think his analogy is the worst.


"Matt Forte isn't being paid by the Bears. So he... should... start his own football team?"

So...is that like nested hypotheticals or what? Because that very first "say you..." makes the entire thing a hypothetical situation, so you don't need to keep saying it over and over again.

Even the conclusion of the hypothetical is a hypothetical conclusion! My brain hurts!

Also, yes, Matt Forte has to go down to the bank and get a $100 billion loan to get his own football team.

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

The Incredible Ed posted:

Georgia politics?

Oh. Um if you have a Colorado branch (or if you do topics I'd take a few like environment) of whatever you do, that would work...?

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Sash! posted:

So...is that like nested hypotheticals or what? Because that very first "say you..." makes the entire thing a hypothetical situation, so you don't need to keep saying it over and over again.

Even the conclusion of the hypothetical is a hypothetical conclusion! My brain hurts!

Also, yes, Matt Forte has to go down to the bank and get a $100 billion loan to get his own football team.

Bet you they win a Super Bowl before the Browns...

midwat
May 6, 2007

defiantgiant posted:

Oh, I'll do you one better: behold this loving masterpiece by the inimitable Scoop Jackson.

Man, I wish copy editors still existed.

Welcome to the new media, in which semi-literate morons blather on in increasingly long (but ever so meaningless) sentences.

Blackula69
Apr 1, 2007

DEHUMANIZE  YOURSELF  &  FACE  TO  BLACULA
I can't send press releases but if you want the inside scoop on lurid Canadian sex crimes I cover that

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


midwat posted:

Man, I wish copy editors still existed.

I'm an editor (among other things) by trade.

I largely edit things written by engineers, who at least have the excuse of being colossal aspies that didn't have to learn how to write in the first place.

At least they have an excuse.

midwat
May 6, 2007

Sash! posted:

I'm an editor (among other things) by trade.

I largely edit things written by engineers, who at least have the excuse of being colossal aspies that didn't have to learn how to write in the first place.

At least they have an excuse.

I've done my share of editing as well.

It never ceases to amaze, though, how these national reporters have the writing skills of an average backwater freelancer.

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v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
I love copy editing with all my little shriveled awful hosed heart

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