The Coldest War: You Play Aurora!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > The Coldest War: You Play Aurora!

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

I am the very model of a scientist ~~salarian~~ of sorium.

E: And I guess drat Commies

Slaan fucked around with this message at 15:10 on Mar 24, 2012

# ¿ Mar 24, 2012 05:40

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 10:10

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

bgreman posted:

There are actually two colonies on Earth, one belonging to the UN and one belonging to the Eurasian Federation. The ability to have multiple colonies on a single world is a nice little feature that allows for game starts like this one, instead of having to come up with a fiction that explains how the world united into one government (you know, instead of two, which is so much more realistic ).

I say this calls for Glassing The Planet To Save The Planet.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2012 18:30

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Triskelli posted:

I jumped in to try and encourage other goons to sign up... I guess I have a shot at winning this thing!

My votes are as follows:

Lord Windy
Pistokemisti
Jimmy4400nav
Ynkling
Triskelli

Because honestly, we have enough RICH WHITE MEN in positions of power.

What are you, some kind of Eurasian Federation Commie-nazi?! Why do you hate America _{and the UN I guess?} Rich white men made this country, son, and they will keep it running!

Lord Windy
Pistokemisti
Jimmy4400nav
A RICH WHITE MAN
Ynkling

# ¿ Mar 29, 2012 02:05

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

bgreman posted:

On December 24th, 2024, representatives from the UN and the Eurasian Federation signed the Ceebees Accord, which effectively proscribed the weaponization of planetary bodies or bulk parts thereof.

Incidentally it is possible to bombard a colony using mass drivers, now that I've just checked. You need to first establish your own colony on the body, set up a mass driver there, set the destination for some mining colony's mass driver as the colony you just established, then disassemble or move the mass driver on the target off-world. Mass driver impacts, like nuclear explosions, cause dust and radiation to spread on the entire system body, not just the target population.

Okay time for plan Go Galt everyone! Put all research into colony ships, which will let us take over and terraform Mars. Meanwhile, we build several mass drivers pointed at the Earth. Remove the one on Earth and RELEASE ZE MISSILES! That will take care of the plebe problem. Only then can we supermen take humanity to the next level! :smugbert:

# ¿ Mar 29, 2012 23:28

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Lord Windy posted:

Of course!

It's almost my entire plan. Lasers on everything, doesn't matter what they are for, it can do with a laser on it.

As lead energy weapons scientist, I can safely say that this is scientifically proven. Lasers do look prettiest when killing things! :black101:

# ¿ Mar 30, 2012 12:31

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Lord Windy posted:

I foresee someone winning every single noble prize for awhile.

Even the peace one.

You know what kind of person is peaceful? One turned to glass by lasers.

You know how to make an economy grow exponentially? Glass everything but a small part with lasers. Then they can rebuilt quickly with exponential growth!

# ¿ Mar 30, 2012 17:45

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Ynkling posted:

I agree with Puistokemisti that TN Tech should be on the top of the list. Unfortunately we don't have a scientist with this as his/her specialty, so the top bonus we can hope for is 20% with Slaan or Donnie Dominy, of whom only Slaan can wrangle more than five labs to be productive. (I read that part right, right?)

I propose that we put Slaan in charge of Trans-Newtonian Technology with access to all 25 of our labs.

I will do this, but only if I get to burn things up with lasers later :colbert:

# ¿ Mar 30, 2012 21:02

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Lord Windy posted:

Nobel Prize for Appropriate Use of Lasers

Reason: "greatest benefit on mankind" in use of Laser Weaponry either offensively or defensively
Promotion value: 1500 (is this appropriate?)

The Nobel Prize? Nobel made dynamite, not lasers! This should be the Slaan prize, named after the dashing scientist who came up with them. :colbert:

But otherwise, I will also support this.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2012 15:44

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Not if you put lasers on your missiles. Which is what we scientists like to call "awesome."

# ¿ Mar 31, 2012 20:27

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Lord Windy posted:

LASERS

As lead researcher, I can say that this plan is eminently practical as well as bloody awesome.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2012 16:43

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

FROM: Dr. Slaan
TO: UNEC
SUB: Further research

It is my recommendation that research be directed. post-haste towards Laser Focal size. This will increase the power and strength of our laser weaponry. And we all know that lasers burn commies the best. We must thusly work on lasers. QED.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2012 01:39

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Puistokemisti posted:

And yes, I'm aware, and slightly worried, of Dr. Slaan's obsession with lasers but those don't really do much if we can't get anything into orbit and can't afford to actually build those things.

Gauss Weaponry uses magnets, which are like lasers. They would also be worthwhile research goals, and fit on fighters perfectly. :colbert:

# ¿ Apr 3, 2012 16:53

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 10:10

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

SPERMCUBE.ORG posted:

OK, evidently a ground to ground missile with zero endurance will not explode after all. So my designs up there will not work. I could tweak them so they would though. That brings me to

FROM: The Tank of SPERMCUBE.ORG
CO of the 57th LTA "Think Tanks"
TO: Everybody in my Spacebook contacts

After running some simulations it appears my Doomsday facility, as it stands designed, will not work. The simulator, however, was likely tampered with by commie saboteurs. I still believe that the key to our short term survival is having the bigger stick. Don't worry though, the Think Tanks come through again!

So my guys were having a bit of fun, shooting fireworks at each other. You know, soldier stuff. Then a mechanic tries to shoot a potato out of his tank's cannon except he stuffed the barrel with some refined sorium. By the way, I'm also going to need to request a repair crew. Anyhow it was very impressive. And the way I figure it we could scrape out whatever our old missiles run on and put this stuff in there and shove more warhead in too. It has to be a drone though, I couldn't get missile designs to work right. Once again I suspect commie sabotage of the simulator.
code:
Missile Size: 24 MSP  (1.2 HS)     Warhead: 37    Armour: 0     Manoeuvre Rating: 5
Speed: 4200 km/s    Endurance: 0 minutes   Range: 0.1m km
Cost Per Missile: 10.7917
Chance to Hit: 1k km/s 21%   3k km/s 5%   5k km/s 4.2%   10k km/s 2.1%
Materials Required:    9.25x Tritanium   1.4167x Gallicite   Fuel x2.5

Development Cost for Project: 1079RP
These drones are the same size as our old poo poo-box ICBMs, 400 times faster, and with about the same range. I don't know what units you guys rate warhead yields in nowadays but our current weapons have 6 and these things would have 37. I think that's good? And best of all you can shoot them out of our current missile launchers with no modifications. If we had some sort of installation with active sensors we could even target the commie launchers and their ground troops too.

And if you guys want I can always go back and fix up the old Doomsday installation idea.

I like your thought about commies re: nuking them, but I must say that they are slightly... misguided. Why would you want to try and burn them up with nuclear energy on missiles that can be relatively easily shot down when you can just put a giant laser cannon on the moon? 100% hit chance, 100% destruction, 0% interception.

E: Foiled by physics again! I thought I beat them with TNEs! :argh:

vvv

Slaan fucked around with this message at 19:14 on Apr 4, 2012

# ¿ Apr 4, 2012 18:51

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > The Coldest War: You Play Aurora!