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Chalk is Cheap posted:This is an amazing thread Jase, I read the entirety of it up to this point in one sitting. Are you planning on continuing with the stories or are you basically done? Sorry for the lack of posting I got Audited by the IRS because of some bank transactions I did and they thought I was hiding money and not paying taxes on it. Long story short I keep detailed records of my gambling wins and loses and after going through all my receipts and spreadsheets with my accountant (who I just signed up with because of this thread) I actually overpaid the IRS by $500 so they wasted all that time and ended up having to cut a check to me for $500 and I still haven't seen it. They didn't even care about my assests from the buisness once they found out how a large portion of my income is gambling they were only interested in that. Never take out 9k and Put it in another bank several times in a few months I was just transferring money to put back into my buisness. loving dicks! I knew this time would come talking with a couple of friends who gamble for a living they told me eventually the IRS will come a knocking so have your poo poo together and thankfully I listened. If this happened 15 years ago I would have been hosed! I will keep posting gambling stories until I stop gambling. Everyone seems to like it and I love to write about this stuff it's almost like free therapy if that makes any sense. I use the traditional maple shaft and I highly doubt I will use anything else just because I am so use to feel of it. The tips I use are custom made (at least thats what he tells me) by a guy in the Cleveland area that is at every pool tournament. He operates out of his house and I call him up tell him what I want and he gets it done and my stick back to me in 24 hours. He does amazing work and it's a little pricey but I enjoy getting my stick taken care of quickly and back to me within a day. The best advice I could give you is go where the money is. For instance downtown Cleveland on West 6th street is where all the douches with money hang out. Lawyers, bankers and socialites and those are my targets because they are easy money. Show up, get drunk, brag about your skills and play horribly and you should get action in no time. Another good place for action is your local pool hall. Most of your big money gamblers will be there after midnight and into the early morning. It never hurts to brag, ego is the best way to get people to gamble with you. I can't tell you how many times I have walked into a bar full of people that I hate and have them begging me to shoot them in pool. Walk in talk poo poo take their money and leave. Usually stumbling up to the pool table acting drunk and start critiquing the guy who is shooting. Tell him that was a stupid shot or just how terrible he is. He may get in your face and want to fight but usually they want to prove that they can beat you in pool. If you were a 7 you should have no problem beating guys like that. Always act like you are the best shot in the room and gamblers will find you they are bloodhounds and are always on the prowl. dreesemonkey posted:For the record I was honestly nervous for your uncle frank with the road player and the $40k stakes game, half an hour after I read that I still had that feeling of anxiety - You tell a good story. In that instance it was a straight up %50 but sometimes when I stake players the percentages are different. In poker if I stake a guy I usually get the original stake back and %60 of the winnings. I do that a lot with really crazy players. There is this young kid who has been coming around the poker games for a few years and he is always broke and its basically because he is the worst player. Sometimes he shows up at the casino and is looking for a stake if I am up real big I will throw him a buy in and he either loses it in like 10 minutes or quadruples it in an hour. He is insane and its fun to gamble on him with my own money in a sense. I staked him a $300 buy in to the 1/2 game at the shoe one day and in 20 minutes he turned it into 1500 cashed out and gave me money and left. he gave me my 300 back plus my %60 which came out to around $700 it was the easiest money I ever made considering I was already up at the tables for the day it was just another gamble to turn my money into more money. Now when some players go on the road and they have a backer and the amounts change. Most backers take %70 and the player gets all his food, lodging and travel paid for and %30 of what he wins. It's a good deal because the road player never has to worry about money all he has to worry about is winning at pool. These are just all my experiences and of course it varies from one person to the next. There are some people that I just never will stake I will only loan money to them. Looking at my notes on my phone I have about 11k loaned out to various other people right now who pay a vig on that. It's %10 a week based on the balance and if they miss a payment the vig doubles if they pay it off before the agreed date they get a discount on the vig. Some of that money I may never see or just settle on catching the guy at the right time especially in a poker room. There is this one guy I loaned 1k to and he avoided me for a few weeks until I saw him at a card game with a bunch of money in front of him. I made him cash out and pay me back and leave the game with a profit. Of course he went and lost it all at the track but I got my money back so I was happy.
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May 2, 2013 21:16
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Great thread that has me thinking of a pool situation I had a few months back (spots and stripes, general bar pool) which I can't find the answer to in the rule books.... I was recently playing US pool for fun. My opponent misses all of his balls and the white sits behind one of his balls - meaning I was snookered, I could not hit any side of my last ball. I know it's a foul...as he missed all his balls but i've been left worse off. In a lot of other countries they have the pick up rule where the white can be moved behind the line as the player has fouled and I can't hit both sides of one of my balls (I think the pick-up rule exists to stop purpose-fouling). Is there anything similar is US pool or is it just a case of having to try and hit my ball and risking a foul in return?
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May 11, 2013 20:05
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jase1 posted:Looking at my notes on my phone I have about 11k loaned out to various other people right now who pay a vig on that. It's %10 a week based on the balance and if they miss a payment the vig doubles if they pay it off before the agreed date they get a discount on the vig. Maybe I'm not understanding this well, but doesn't it make you a loan shark?
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May 13, 2013 22:20
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Anything of interest to share from your latest 20 hour poker session?
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May 13, 2013 23:12
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Vanilla posted:Great thread that has me thinking of a pool situation I had a few months back (spots and stripes, general bar pool) which I can't find the answer to in the rule books.... If you are playing what is known as "Bar Rules" which you most likely were then you are poo poo out of luck and have to shoot from where the cueball lies. Basically any other set of rules will give you ball in hand any where on the table in that situation.
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May 14, 2013 05:04
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Doctor Malaver posted:Maybe I'm not understanding this well, but doesn't it make you a loan shark? Yeah pretty much and it's like that with all the gamblers I hang out with. Bearnt! posted:Anything of interest to share from your latest 20 hour poker session? I started of Saturday morning meeting my friend Aaron for breakfast and then we headed down to the Casino to see if we could get into a game. I show up to the Casino and get seated right away at a 2/5 table and I bought in for 1k. Most of the people here are leftover from the night before so they look like hungover zombies and I am hoping to take advantage of that. There is this guy named Colin that everyone knows and I just dislike the guy. He is a bully plain and simple he will berate the dealers, players for making bad plays, I once watched him berate a waitress because the casino didn't offer Monster energy drink. A true shitbag if there ever was one. He is a very solid player especially at PLO but I only ever see him sit at the NL cash games in the casino. I know he has cashed a few times in the WSOP and people love to ride his jock about great of a poker player he is but in my opinion he is not all that great. The first time I sat down at a table with him I raised on the button with junk and he called and flopped trips he had AA and we got it all in and I stacked him and then he let me have it. Saying all shorts of out of line poo poo about me so I looked him straight in the eye and said "you had your say now kindly close your mouth and stop talking." He kinda looked at me shocked and I think it was because most people let him say whatever he wanted. About a month later I went to a 1/2 nl home game and sat down and the first cards I get are AJ and I raise he pushes all in and I sit there and think about it for a minute. It's such a weird play to me because if he had AA, KK, QQ or even JJ I don't think he would push it all in. So I convinced myself he was either on a small pocket pair or bluffing. Well he wasn't bluffing he had AA and the flop came out QK10 giving me broadway and it held up. He took his chips and flung them at me and I took this as a major show of disrespect and it's a lovely move because you could lose chips they could get mixed up with other players stacks. He got up to leave and I told him before he leaves he is going to pick up my chips and off the floor and make sure that he finds everyone of them or he will owe me the money. He said bullshit and started to leave and I told him if you leave you will not be invited back to this game. I looked right at the host Dave and he backed me up on it. So Colin proceeded to crawl under the table and find every chip and give it to me. Since that day he acts like we are friends and doesn't dare say anything to me. If I am at a table and he is berating someone I usually tell him to knock it off and he does. Another quick funny story was the first month of the casino was open it seemed like everyone knew everyone in the poker room and I was walking by a table when Colin was bitching to a floor person about a hand and the way the dealer handled it. The floor guy said he backed the dealer and Colin made this statement which I told everyone about immediately because I almost fell over laughing. He said "I can't believe you guys are treating me this way I play here 5 days a week!" The floor guy said "I don't care if you live here I still back up my dealer and he did the right thing. Now quit holding up the game before I make it so you can't play here at all." Even the floor guy had enough of his poo poo. So back to the story I am just sitting there reading my phone waiting for a hand to play when I get 56 of diamonds on the button in limped pot. I decide to raise it to $50 and everyone folds except Colin. I don't know how long he had been there but he had about 3k in front of him and I have 1k. The flop is A34 with the 3 and 4 being diamonds giving me a nut straight draw and a straight flush draw. I make it $150 and Colin Raises it to $500 which basically tells me he is not going away. I push all in he calls and we have about a $2100 pot. He asks if I want to run it more than once and I decline and then he asks me if I want to show and I decline again. He says he is showing his cards anyway and he shows Pocket 4's for a set of 4's. He is ahead and probably about close to a %60 chance to win the pot if my math is right. I knew I was not in that bad of shape and could win the pot. The turn is non diamond 9 and he does this little fist bump thing like Tiger like he just won the pot. The river is the 7 giving me a straight and I take the pot. Now there was some debate at what happened but I don't think he realized that I had won the hand because he was laughing and talking with the guy next to him and I thought that was odd. One guy at the table thinks that he thought I mucked my cards when I turned over my hand but I never did anything like that. The dealer pushes me the pot and asks Colin to count out what he owes me. Colin then says what do you mean I won the pot and the dealer says no sir you lost and she shows him the board and my cards. He gets white faced and counts out the chips and says he is going to get something to eat. I think nothing of it and go on playing looked like an honest mistake to me. Colin returns about 45 minutes later and sure as poo poo the minute he sits down I get AA in the small blind. Colin raises it to $25 and I re raise it to $100 and everyone folds to him. He looks at me and says we can just get it all in now if you want and I say sure lets do it but he doesn't push all in he just raises it to $400 and then push it all in and he calls and I am looking at about a $4500 pot. He asks again about running it twice and I tell him no and he turns his cards over to reveal AA. Looks like its going to be a chop until the flop comes out and its 3 clubs and I have the A of clubs. I yell out come on dealer hit me with a club and the turn is a blank. I yell it out again and and BAM I hit a club to give me the whole pot and Colin is furious. He doesn't say anything he just scoots his chair back and it flips over because he had his back pack on it and it opens up and spills out all the belongings. So now he is super pissed off mumbling and cleaning up the stuff that fell out of his backpack and then he leaves. I now have a around $4500 in front of me and its about 2pm or so and I decide to take a dinner break and go get some food. I meet up with my friend Matt G and we smoke a joint on top of the parking garage and I tell him my Colin story and he loves it. As I am walking back to the poker room I see Colin at the roulette table and he has a ton of chips in front of him but I couldn't tell how much. I go back up to the poker room and sit at the table waiting for the next hand to play. I sit there until about 10 pm and I am at about 5k now. I decide I am going to cash out soon and maybe go play some craps when Colin comes into the poker room and gets a seat at another table. I look at his table and realize that there is another seat open and I ask for a table change to be moved to Colins table. Jeremy the Poker manager asks me whats up and I tell him that I want to sit with that Colin guy because he is on super tilt from a session before and I want to take advantage of that. He says no problem and moves me to the table. As soon as I sit down Colin is pissed and asks for a table change. The dealer calls Jeremy over and he says he will get the first available seat. Colin bought in for another 1k and I heard him bragging to a guy next to him that he won it at the roulette tables. We sit there for about 2 hours and I don't get involved to much in hands and Colin keeps requesting his table change but no one has left their seats yet so he is tuck at this table with me. At about 1 am I decide to start drinking heavily because I am going to cash out soon and walk across the street and use my free hotel rooms that expire in month. I buy everyone at the table a shot of Jameson and I have told the waitress to bring me a rum and coke every time she passes buy. I am now pretty drunk after about another hour of drinking heavily and if my memory serves me right its about 2 or 3 am. Colin is still at the table and I have about 5k in front of me and Colin has about 2k. I get KK in middle position and I raise it to $25 and Colin pushes all in immediately. I chuckle and tell him that's not a good way to win money and he says well it depends on what your decision is. I tell him I have KK and I have to call so and I put 2k out in front of me for the call. He flips over AA and a King hits the flop and Colin screams out as loud as he possibly can "You are nothing but a loving pooptruck collector." I have no clue what it means but I laughed so hard when he said that. I now have 7k in front of me and Colin is broke once again. I understand his pain because there are nights where it seems no matter what you do one guy has your number and you are just gonna lose but at the same time gently caress this guy he is an rear end in a top hat and I am glad I made his night miserable. I finally cash out about 5 am and head over to the hotel room to get some sleep. I am wasted and decide to take some of my winnings and blow them on sports booking and thats exactly what I did making sportsbook bets drunk off my rear end at 630 in the morning after a long profitable poker session.
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May 14, 2013 23:07
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Oh my god that is hilarious.
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May 15, 2013 02:59
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So how'd you make out with your bets?
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May 15, 2013 03:20
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What part of "blow some of my winnings making sports book bets drunk of my rear end" didn't you understand?
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May 15, 2013 12:07
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I am the worst at sports booking but I love the sweat. If I am shooting pool or playing poker I have something else to do with my time so I don't get bored and thats watch what ever game I am betting on. For the month I am -58. I don't gamble too much on sportsbooking unless I am in Vegas then I bet alot. INTERNET / -1 Ticket #: 14328129 May 05 12:10 PM NHL STRAIGHT BET [1] PIT PENGUINS -175 307 / 175 175 WIN WIN 05/05/2013 07:33 AM This is the bet I made from that night and I won it. Of course the winning didn't last long as you can see I already lost that money on other bets. jase1 fucked around with this message at 16:00 on May 15, 2013 |
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May 15, 2013 14:54
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jase1 posted:take some of my winnings and blow them on sports booking and thats exactly what I did making sportsbook bets drunk off my rear end at 630 in the morning after a long profitable poker session. So THAT explains your posts in the MMA gambling thread. Love the stories as always.
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May 15, 2013 23:06
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I tried to explain to those guys that I was a gambler and would gamble on anything and it wasn't a big deal to lose but I don't think they understood me they just want someone to make fun of and I will accept that role.
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May 16, 2013 17:10
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jase1: nothing but a loving pooptruck collector.
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May 17, 2013 16:46
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Cage Kicker posted:jase1: nothing but a loving pooptruck collector. This is extremely funny. Love the stories, keep them coming.
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May 17, 2013 21:36
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I check Ask/Tell religiously now. Like twice a day at least and just do a check to see if there's updates to this thread. Best thread I've read in years.
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May 17, 2013 22:00
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Nimrod's Son posted:I check Ask/Tell religiously now. Like twice a day at least and just do a check to see if there's updates to this thread. You know you can mark a thread as a favorite and check it from the control panel, right? Hit the little star in the top left corner.
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May 17, 2013 22:35
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Yesterday I got an email from the Palazzo and they are giving me a free 2 bedroom suite so I decided to take a last minute trip to Vegas with my girlfriend and Hiphop and his girlfriend. We leave Sunday night and will be back Thursday morning. Then Thursday night starts another Pool tournament for the APA and my girlfriend is qualified for that so after next week hopefully I will have some Vegas stories and if anything interesting happens I will also have some pool hustling stories.
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May 17, 2013 23:00
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This thread is a big part of me rescuing the pool table from my parent's basement. It's a late 60s sears (made by brunswick, I think) 8' 3 piece slate table. I only have the rails taken off and up at my house, the rest is going to require a bit more work and helpers. It's in ok shape, I'm going to re-felt, do new bumpers, and convert to drop pockets instead of the lovely ball return that never worked well. Sorry to hijack, just excited about getting a pooltable at my house in the hopefully near future.
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May 22, 2013 14:51
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dreesemonkey posted:This thread is a big part of me rescuing the pool table from my parent's basement. It's a late 60s sears (made by brunswick, I think) 8' 3 piece slate table. I only have the rails taken off and up at my house, the rest is going to require a bit more work and helpers. It's in ok shape, I'm going to re-felt, do new bumpers, and convert to drop pockets instead of the lovely ball return that never worked well. Seconding this. I read this and realized that my new house could fit a pool table in the basement. Its not a perfect fit for a 57" cue, some spots need a shorty cue to make a shot  , but I just love playing down there now.
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May 22, 2013 14:57
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FlashBangBob posted:Seconding this. I read this and realized that my new house could fit a pool table in the basement. Its not a perfect fit for a 57" cue, some spots need a shorty cue to make a shot One of the previous owners of my house was a billiards fan and had a 9' table down there, he put in a 16' steel beam to replace one of the support columns so I think I'll have enough room to play around the whole table. Very excited 
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May 22, 2013 18:15
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Sorry for the long time with out an update I finally have some time to do this. So back in the middle of May I received an offer from the Palazzo for a free 2 bedroom suite for 4 nights so My girlfriend and I and Hiphop and his girlfriend decided on a last minute Trip to Vegas for some fun. We get to the Palazzo and the suite is just bonkers they had a bottle of Champagne setup ready for us when we got there and we were treated like first class royalty. These are the perks of constantly using your players card when you do anything at a casino. I book all the rooms and pay for them on my card especially the last few trips for work so it all added up and we got this amazing suite. After we finish the bottle of champagne the girls decide they want to go to the club while me and hiphop decide to go check out the Venetian poker room. One of my favorite poker rooms in Vegas always lots of action and the dealers and floor staff do a good job of running the place. I decide to sit down at a 2/5 table and have one of the worst poker sessions I have ever had. Every play I made was the wrong play even when I got my money good it didn't hold up at the end and after 4 hours of play I lost 2k for my first gambling session. Hiphop on the other hand was running good and ended up cashing out for 3k at another poker table. So we met up with the girls for a couple of late night drinks and Hip is buying. We sit down at this bar in the Palazzo and for the life of me I can't remember the name but it was pretty classy and while we are waiting for our drinks this old guy sits down in a couch next to us with one of the hottest girls I have ever seen in my life. She was probably 6'2" with a perfect body and brunette hair and this old guy was treating her like poo poo. They were arguing about the money he was spending and she said if he was going to blow that type of money she wanted to go shopping but he wasn't hearing any of it. He called her a bitch a few times and she was calling him all sorts of names until he finally got fed up and said "gently caress you oval office" and walked away. She was crying hysterically and Hiphops girlfriend went over to her to see if she was ok. They struck up a conversation and she basically just joined our little group for the night. After we ran up about a $200 bar tab we headed down to the craps tables. I love late night 2am crap tables action it's usually drunks and degenerates trying to catch a hot shooter on the night and riding the wave of profits. If you can catch a hot shooter you can make really good money but it doesn't happen a lot and you have to be patient. I usually look for a table that is full of older guys because they know how to play craps and keep the game moving fast. Whenever a point is made I always bet the outside numbers. Now this in the long run is a losing bet but at the same time there have been times I have went on huge streaks and made huge profits off this bet but lets be honest it's a bad bet in the long run. I don't play craps a lot so I just stick with this bet because it's fun. I buy in for 1k and start placing my bets, hip is the first option to be a shooter and he declines ( I almost always decline too) and so it goes to our new friend the smoking hot girl we picked up at the bar. Her name is Marie and she says she is only watching and doesn't want to bet I tell her if she wants to roll I will stake her and buy her in for $500 and she goes on 40 minute roll that has the table packed. I made about $400 in profit, hip made $700 and she made about $800 off her rolls and she had a blast doing it too. All the guys at the table kept asking who she was and I just told them she was with us both my girl and hips girl got along great with her and they really enjoyed kicking rear end at the craps table. So by this time it's probably close to 4am or 5am and we decide to head back to the room. The girl says she doesn't want to go back to her room tonight because of the guy she was with was being an rear end in a top hat. I offer to let her stay on our couch in our suite and she happily accepts. We get back to the room and I hit the bed and pass out while everyone else orders some food. I wake up at about 9am and walk out of the bedroom and the girl is lying on the couch butt as naked just sleeping there. I turn right around walk back into the room and wake my girlfriend up and tell her whats up. She doesn't believe me and walks out there and comes flying back into the bedroom laughing hysterically. So I give her one of our blankets and she goes out there and covers her up. I text hip and tell him we are going down to get some breakfast. So me and my girlfriend head down to get some breakfast and when we get back to the room the girl is gone. I sit on the couch turn on the TV and wait for my girlfriend to get ready to go because we are tasking a trip to the desert and go hiking up to Mary Jane falls to smoke a joint which is what I do every time I am in Vegas. So I am watching sportscenter when Marie comes out of hiphops room and is fully dressed and has all her things. She thanks me for an awesome night and says she will see us again before she leaves. I thought it was weird she was coming out of hips room but I think nothing of it. So we all get ready go down to the concierge and I rent a car for the day. I head over to Henderson Nevada so I can meet up with a friend who lives in Vegas that is going to get me some good smoke. I drop the girls off at Walmart so they can buy a few things and on the ride over Hip looks at me with this huge grin and says did you put the blanket on Marie last night. I told him that my girl did it this morning but when I walked out she was naked. He said yeah she left her clothes in his room and my jaw just dropped. Apparently after I went to sleep my girlfriend soon followed and they stayed up talking. Hip said he convinced his girl and Marie to have a 3 some and when they were done she just walked out into the living room part of the suite and passed out on the couch naked. I was so loving jealous because that's something I could never convince my girlfriend to do and besides I would probably gently caress it up anyways. Hip told me it was amazing and his girl and Marie were freaks. I never saw Marie the rest of the trip but I guess hip keeps in touch with her that loving bastard. So the first night in Vegas I lost 2k in poker made $800 at the craps table $400 of my bets and I split the $800 profit with Marie to make another $400 so as far as gambling goes I am down $1200 my first night. Day 2 of Vegas coming in the next post...
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Jun 25, 2013 22:01
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Really loved the thread since the start, Jase! Always a great read!jase1 posted:I love late night 2am crap tables action it's usually drunks and degenerates trying to catch a hot shooter on the night and riding the wave of profits. If you can catch a hot shooter you can make really good money but it doesn't happen a lot and you have to be patient. It seems like you're pretty level headed about this kind of stuff (and must be since you haven't gone broke yet), but every once in awhile it sounds like you let a little "I think I'm lucky" gambler logic come out. Anyway, keep up the awesome stories! They make me crave another trip to Vegas every time I read them!
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Jun 25, 2013 22:39
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jase1 posted:So the first night in Vegas I lost 2k in poker made $800 at the craps table $400 of my bets and I split the $800 profit with Marie to make another $400 so as far as gambling goes I am down $1200 my first night. ...and hip made $3k on poker, $700 on craps and had a threesome his first night, amazing. Best night of his life? Or is that sort of thing normal for him? What sports were you betting on?
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Jun 25, 2013 22:53
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Imaduck posted:Really loved the thread since the start, Jase! Always a great read! First I don't really consider myself a professional gambler I wish I was because then I wouldn't have to work my rear end off with my buisness. I know and understand what you are saying completely but if you get a hot shooter who seems to be hitting his point a lot you can make some really good money. The odds don't change in my favor in any way and I understand that but if a guy is gonna be shooting for 3 hours at the table I want to be apart of that and make some money. I am a gambler by nature so the I am going to get lucky thing is always there and I am not saying in any way this is foolproof way to make money but sometimes you just go with whats working at that moment. For instance if I sit down at a poker table and run really good I will take more chances then usual. I might make a bad call just to see if it's my night and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't it's just the nature of a gambler. I do it in pool too, sometimes I go and shoot pool and even when I make a bad shot it works out for me so it's my lucky night and I am going to try and take advantage of that. Bearnt! posted:...and hip made $3k on poker, $700 on craps and had a threesome his first night, amazing. Best night of his life? Or is that sort of thing normal for him? What sports were you betting on? Hip always runs like that. He is the guy who was the jock at highschool who got all the chicks and he still does. Before he was in a relationship if we went to the bar there was a pretty good chance he was taking the barmaid home. We celebrated a friends birthday one year at The hustler strip club and he convinced 2 of the strippers to come home with him and he never paid for a lap dance. He is just that guy that gets laid even if he isn't trying. I only bet on horses and if memory serves me right (I don't have my spreadsheet in front me) I think I lost either $400 or $500 on the horses. I was going to bet some basketball and hockey but I just kept forgetting about it I was having to much fun.
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Jun 26, 2013 17:47
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jase1 posted:First I don't really consider myself a professional gambler I wish I was because then I wouldn't have to work my rear end off with my buisness. Anyway, I think you might have said something about this earlier in the thread, but I'd love to get your rundown of places to play poker in Vegas. I've heard many times that the Palazzo has a really nice poker room, but does the competition there tend to be stiffer? Do you ever go to some of the less prestigious poker rooms to pick on the fish there?
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Jun 26, 2013 18:17
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Just gonna chime in again, really enjoying your posts Jase. Keep 'em coming!
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Jun 26, 2013 20:07
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I also have to add that I keep this thread on my favorites and I love it when I see an update. So, lots of lurkers here.
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Jun 28, 2013 03:44
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Come on, Vegas part 2!
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Jun 28, 2013 05:54
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Imaduck posted:Well, it sounds like you could (and have) made a living off of gambling / poker / pool if you wanted to, but you took the very, very wise, much more secure route of business. It's way too easy to end up going the other route and end up with no security, no credentials, and in all likelihood, broke at some point. We'll call you a semi-professional gambler I guess. I play poker at the Venetian almost exclusively it's a big poker room, lots of action and the staff and dealers are excellent. If you really want to be depressed head on down to the El Cortez and play some .25/.50, last time I was there they allowed people to play with quarters on the table but that was like 4 years ago. I also like the Bellagio just for the fact that you will see a lot of poker people there, plus anything at the Bellagio is top notch. During the World Series of Poker (going on right now) the Rio was the place to be but they might have moved venues this year so don't hold me to that. Vegas day 2 The one thing I always do when I go to Vegas is go up to Mary Jane Falls and smoke a joint. I have done it every time I have ever been to Vegas and hope I can continue that tradition until I die. So after our trip to Mary Jane Falls we decided to go back the Palazzo to shower and get cleaned up from our hike up a mountain. The girls wanted to go to the pool for awhile so me and Hip decided to head over to Caesar's Palace to gamble a little bit. We get there and I walk right over the Sports book it's like it was calling my name and saying come over here and throw your money away. I love the Caesar's Palace sports book because everytime you make a bet you get a free drink voucher even if the bet is for a $1. So I look at what races will be coming up later in the day and place about $300 in bets. I placed enough bets to get 25 drink vouchers and surprisingly the guy who takes the bets didn't cut us off so then me and hip just sat there in the sports book getting free drink after free drink of Rum and coke so after about 6 or 7 drinks and a total of $560 in bets on horses hip wants to go play some roulette. We found a roulette table with no one at it and a smoking hot dealer. Her name was Tina and I was in love (not literally but I am drunk and high and I had a little crush on her). She was awesome and cheered with us on every bet we made. I asked Tina what was the number of the day you she was born and she says 17. So I put 20 on 17 and I lose then put another 20 on 17 and it loses again. So I tell her this time I am going to bet 60 on 17 and it hits and I make a nice payout of $2100. I tell her I am going to give her a $100 tip and ask her if she wants me to bet it on something or give it to her. She whispers to me put it on black so I put 100 on black and it hits and I give her a $200 tip. Hip says he is going to go over to play some let it ride. I stand at the roulette table and lose $300 making stupid bets just trying to hit a big payout and I walk away from the roulette table with $1700 in my pocket and thank Tina for being so awesome and a good luck charm. I walk over to find hip hop at the let it ride tables and I can't find him. I see one of those $1 wheel of fortune machines so I figured I would put $100 in and wait until hip either texts me or I see him walking around. I spin a couple of times and I hit one of those free spins and it lands on $1000 and I cash out for something like $1065. I call hip and tell him that I just hit for 1k on the slot machine and he tells me that's interesting because he just lost 1k at let it ride. We decide to go back up to the room and get some sleep while waiting for the girls to come back from the pool. I fall asleep for a few hours and wake up and see that everyone else is up and hanging out in the living room. I ask them what they want to do tonight and my girlfriend says she wants to go get some french food and see a show. I call up my buddy who can get me show tickets and he says he has some really good seats to the Penn and teller show he says he is at MGM so to meet him there to get the tickets. I start searching for a nice French restaurant in Vegas and to my luck I find this place called L'Atelier de Joël Robuchon which is at the MGM that looks cool so we get reservations for 6pm. Hip and I talked about bringing suits with us to Vegas just because I bought a new suit for meeting with banks for my buisness and I want to show it off. So we get all dressed up looking like ballers (or stupid tourists you can decide)and the girls get dressed up really classy or slutty if you ask my Dad after I sent him a pic of us all dressed up. We head over to the French restaurant and I was blown away. They create your meal right in front of you and the food was fantastic considering most of the dishes included some type of butter and who doesn't love butter. I figured I would be a nice guy and pick up the tab until I looked at it and for 4 people the tab was $1300 I knew it was going to be pricey but drat that's some expensive Foie gras and wine and whatever booze we were drinking. If I remember correctly we had a bottle of wine that was $200 bucks that we drank in less than 25 minutes. So after some ball busting on Hips part we split the tab and headed over to the Rio for the Penn and Teller show. Once we got the Rio we walked around for awhile and saw this guy at the Roulette table who had $1000 chips and betting like 2 or 3k a spin and he probably lost 15k in less than 20 minutes and I thought to myself either that guy has a poo poo ton of money or he is a gambling addict, either way it was interesting to watch him lose every spin and not even flinch. Anyways we finally get into line for the show and when we take our seats we are about 10 rows away. The show was awesome and afterwards Penn and teller stick around and you can get pictures and autographs with them we didn't stick around for that because the line was long but I thought was pretty cool they did that. After the show the girls wanted to go over to the strip and walk up and down it and drink a little bit so me and Hip headed over the Venetian to play some poker. I got into the poker room around 1am and it was jam packed full of people. Luckily when we got there they were opening a brand new 2/5 table so both me and Hip got seats but at the same table. I don't have a problem playing against Hip at home but in Vegas I prefer to try and take a strangers money. We stayed out of the way of each for a few hours before Hip requested a table change. I liked the table I was at and I bought in for $500 and stayed around that amount until about 3 am when I get 22 on the button and every limps around to me. I try to make a steal on the button and raise it to $25 and to my surprise I get 4 callers so the pot is around $120. The flop is a jackpot of 22A and it checks around to me and I check the next card is a 9 and it checks around to me and I bet $100 and get 2 callers, The river is 4 and before it gets to me those 2 guys are all in and it's a no brainer and I push all in and scoop around a $1600 pot. The other 2 guys had AK and they were baffled when I turned over my quads. It's nice when you don't have to do anything but call your money off to win a huge pot. I played for another 2 hours when Hip came over and said he was tapped out and lost 1k at the game. I cashed out for around $1500 and we headed up to the room to call it a night. So all in all day 2 was very successful I made about $1700 off roulette, $1000 of a slot machine and another $1000 off of poker. Day 3 of Vegas and it involves a some pool hustling and some Dart hustling...
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Jun 28, 2013 21:13
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Poll hustling stories are the best stories.
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Jun 28, 2013 21:28
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The pool stories are my favourite. The general gambling ones are a nice read and all but there's just something I find incredibly gripping about your pool stories. I am excited.
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Jun 29, 2013 18:45
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I agree, I really enjoy your stories in general and have been reading this thread for quite a while now. The hustling stories, especially about pool, are my favorites too, but I still enjoy the others almost just as much. I guess it also has to do with living vicariously through you and the excitement of gambling or hustling for amounts of money that I never have and likely never will do myself, so that is fun. Looking forward to more.
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Jun 30, 2013 06:23
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Totally forgot I didn't finish my Vegas stories so here we go day 3 of Vegas... Day 3 I met up with some British friends who just flew in and rented a house for the summer to play in the WSOP. We all chipped in and rented one of those private cabanas with bottle service at the pool. I think I talked about this before but my British friends Nicky and Dave I met while watching the WSOP a few years ago and those guys love to party. They are internet poker kids who cleaned up and made a fortune on online poker. Super nice guys who usually when I hang out with them they just randomly tip waitresses and waiters $100 because they like to make someones day. They know how to party and if you ever watch the WSOP coverage and see a few Brits on the sidelines pounding beers out of their shoes they are usually in that crowd. So we meet up at the pool and party and drink for about 5 hours until it was time to go to dinner. Nicky and Dave wanted to tag along at dinner so we took them to this bar that is run by a guy from Cleveland. I go there every time I am in town and the guy always sits down and talks with anyone who says they are from Cleveland and he gives them free dessert. So we all go to dinner and eat and drink some more. I overdid it on the wine at dinner and I am pretty much shitfaced. We are deciding what to do after dinner and I keep bugging everyone that I want to go shoot some pool, Hip says find a place that has a dart board and they will go and Nicky and Dave say they are up for it. We find a local pool hall and as soon as we get there I throw up in the parking lot while Nicky and Dave are cheering for me making a scene. The poolhall has these windows and basically everyone at the poolhall can see me blowing chunks all over the parking lot. We walk in, I head for the bathroom to clean myself up and then go right to the bar and get a rum and coke. Now that I have puked I am still shitfaced but I can drink some more. We stand at the bar and have a few drinks and a couple of shots and in like an hour and now my ego starts to come out. For some reason I start talking about how there are no good pool players in Vegas and every time I come here I can't find any good competition. Now I am just flat out being a dick I am sitting on a chair watching two guys shoot pool and then critiquing them. I ask one guy why he went for that shot and so on and so on until one of them tells me to shut my mouth. I say or what and he doesn't say anything back and I again say or what a little bit louder. He ignores me again and gets down to shoot and I get off the chair walk over to him and say again or what. He stands up looks at me and says look dog I aint trying to get in no fight and I tell him I'm not looking for that either but I am looking to shoot a few games you interested. He chuckles and says go sit your drunk rear end down before you get schooled son. I swear those are his exact words and I tell him didn't you hear me talking before I am the best pool player in Vegas (which is not even remotely true) and the guy says oh you think you're real good huh. I tell him that I got a pocket full of money that says I can beat anyone in here. I pull my bankroll out to show him and he says how much you wanna shoot for. I tell him you pick the game and the stakes and then I look over at the barmaid and say do you guys have an ATM here because this guy is probably gonna be needing it tonight. My girlfriend walks over at this time and asks if I know what I am doing and I tell her I do. She says ok just be careful and take the poo poo talking down a notch. I tell her it's okay we are here with friends and no one is gonna do anything. She walks away pissed and I walk up to the table and the guy says lets play for $50 a game. I tell him sure and he wants to flip a coin to see who breaks. I win the flip so it's my break. While the guy is racking up Nicky and Dave come over to me and we start bullshitting and I tell them they are in for a treat because this guy is super soft and I am gonna hustle him out of all his money. I break and miss once but when I miss I get lucky and don't leave him a shot and on my next turn I run out. I take the money off the rack and tell him I don't think I am drunk enough yet and walk up the bar and buy a round of shots for everyone with the money I just won. I slam the shot and when I get back to the table he is racking them and I tell him that I get better at pool the drunker I get, he doesn't say anything and on the break I make 3 balls and run out with ease and I am feeling it. I buy another round of shots but this time I don't drink one because I am pretty much at my limit. I ask the bar maid to make me rum and coke without the rum and I wink at her and she gets what I am saying. She makes me my virgin rum and coke and I come back to the table. I break and miss and he runs off 4 balls before sticking himself on a tough shot. He scratches and gives me ball in hand on an open table and I run them out. As soon as I hit the 8 ball in I slam my drink and say I gotta slow down or I am gonna pass out soon. I ask the guy if he wants to shoot again and he says yes, when he is pulling his money out I notice his roll is about $300 and I say is that all you got man? He says no this is just part of it and I say good because that's not enough money to keep me interested. He is visibly frustrated right now because I am shitface, taking his money and basically insulting his ego. He racks them up and I make the 8 on the break and I am up $200 just like that. Now I start to play up how drunk I am a little bit. I drop the pool stick I am using and go to pick it up and almost fall over while I am picking it up. I hear his buddy say you see this guy man he is hosed up. He racks them up and when I get down to break I miss the cue ball on purpose and they laugh at me. I look up and say I don't know why you are laughing I have $200 of yours so I think I am the one who suppose to be laughing. Then I just do this really loud fake laugh and the guy gets super pissed. He says you can't even stand up straight right now there is no way you are winning another game against me. His buddy steps in and says what is it worth to you. I tell him I want to play for whatever money you come up with. I pull my bankroll out look at it and say there is about $2500 right here so lets play for that. He says are you serious and I tell him yes I am serious. I put the money on the rack and tell him I will wait while you go try to come up with that type of money. He sits there for a few minutes kind of looking like he was in shock and then he says I will be right back. I grab my money off the rack and walk back to the bar and say I think I cost myself some money because I highly doubt that guy is coming back. I notice Hip is not around and I ask where he is at and Nicky tells me he is playing some guy in darts. I walk over to hip and ask if he saw that and he says yeah how much did you make and I tell him only $200 because I blew my load early. He says he is playing this guy for 10 bucks a point and he is up $70 bucks already. I sit back down at the bar and start bullshitting with everyone. After about an hour I have really sobered up and I am feeling back to normal when the guy walks back in and says ok I got $1500 will you play me for that. I look him dead in the eye and say look man I have sobered up and I know for a fact I am gonna take that money from you so think long and hard before about who you borrowed this money from and how you will pay them back because the minute it goes on the rack it's gonna be mine. He doesn't say anything he just walks over to the light rack and puts the money on it. He racks up the balls and I tell him listen man I wanna make this fair to you why don't you pick out the stick I am gonna use, you can pick any stick in this place and I will use it as long as it's a pool stick. He says ok and goes all the way in the back to the last pool table thats close to a beam and he grabs the short stick that people use when they need it. I think to myself uh oh I didn't see that one coming, I have shot with a short stick before but I have never broke with one. I grab it and try to break with it and fail miserably. A couple of balls move but most of them stay right in the center. He laughs at me and says I got you now son. I am a little pissed and tell him not to call me son anymore and he says I am gonna whoop you like your daddy should have when you was a kid. Now I am pissed and thinking to myself I might be in trouble. My girl walks over kisses me on the cheek and whispers in my ear don't worry baby you got this. That snaps me out my funk and I calm down and now I am in the right mind. I am just staring at the table figuring it out when it becomes my turn and I go to work. I make an easy shot and also push one of my balls in front of a pocket and leave him tough on his next shot. He misses and I push another on of my balls in front of another pocket and leave him another tough shot. I slowly and methodically start setting up the table to run out and I have a few of his balls blocked so he can't run out. It's a chess game now I have one of my balls stuck and the 8 is wrapped up in a few of his balls. I stare at the table for about 30 seconds when he says come on man quit taking so long to shoot. I look at him and tell him with this much money on the line I will take as long as I need. I finally figure out what I am gonna do I push one of my balls near a pocket that is close to the 8 ball that is tied up and I am going to use that ball as my breakout ball. What that means is I am gonna make a ball and then use the cue to break out the 8 and hopefully I will leave the 8 open somewhere I can make it. I am now set up perfectly to give me my best chance at running out my last 4 balls on the table. He plays a beautiful safe (the first one he played all night) and it looks like I am hooked. I have one of my balls in the pocket and my only shot is to bank it off the long rail and run it all the way down the table to make that ball. I line it up and I make it and leave myself perfect for the next shot. I run out the next 2 and leave myself the breakout shot last. I make the ball and break out the 8 and it heads straight for the side pocket. It must have been fate or destiny or something but the 8 ball literally stops on the edge of the side pocket and wobbles almost dropping in but it stays up. I let out a sigh of relief and now all that stands in my way of $1500 is making the 8. I get down line up the shot and miscue and the cue ball rolls directly into the corner pocket and I lose the game and $1500 (technically only 1300 because I won $200 earlier). The guy celebrates and I walk back to the bar in disbelief. My ego cost me that money and when I got down to make that 8 ball shot I wasn't taking it serious because it's such an easy shot. Hip comes over and asks what happened and I tell him and he says he is up $150 on this guy on darts. I tell Nicky and Dave I am done for the night and me and my girl are gonna catch a cab back to the Palazzo. I am super pissed at myself because I hosed around too much with that guy I should have not let him pick my stick but my ego got control of me. I get back to the hotel and pass out hoping the next day I can make up for that loss in poker. Last day in vegas is next... Edit: By the way it's my birthday today so I will be having my usual huge birthday party this weekend at the Fox and Hound so if anyone is in the Cleveland area PM me and come celebrate my birthday with me and all the degenerates who show up. jase1 fucked around with this message at 20:27 on Aug 1, 2013 |
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Aug 1, 2013 20:23
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Happy Birthday buddy. 
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Aug 1, 2013 21:16
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Love this thread, I haven't played pool in ages, though. There's not many things as fun as being in a smoke filled, shady pool hall at like 1am.
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Aug 1, 2013 23:07
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Happy birthday buddy! I love the stories and I can't wait for your upcoming ones. 
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Aug 2, 2013 04:48
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Happy birthday! 
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Aug 3, 2013 06:06
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Happy Birthday! I'm sure that will make for a few stories as well .
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Aug 6, 2013 20:48
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jase1 posted:Nicky and Dave wanted to tag along at dinner so we took them to this bar that is run by a guy from Cleveland. I go there every time I am in town and the guy always sits down and talks with anyone who says they are from Cleveland and he gives them free dessert. Which bar is this? My first thought was KJs, but that's nowhere near where anyone just visiting is likely to end up. Tell me where to go to score from free dessert and talk a little Cleveland. Keep the stories coming.
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Aug 6, 2013 21:52
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Centripetal Horse posted:Which bar is this? My first thought was KJs, but that's nowhere near where anyone just visiting is likely to end up. Tell me where to go to score from free dessert and talk a little Cleveland. http://www.boulevardbarandgrille.com/menu.html They have all the school pennants up around the walls. I thought it was pretty cool seeing local Cleveland area high schools represented in Vegas. Birthday stories are coming up but my next post will be my last day in vegas. Can't do it right now because of work but will try to put a story up by the end of the week.
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Aug 6, 2013 22:19
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