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3 DONG HORSE
May 21, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization



Smoke Crack bitched out and disappeared from the internet, so here's a new thread that'll actually be updated regularly. I decided to do it because as a brave National Guardsman, this is probably the only time I'll ever do anything remotely productive that's military related. PM me if you want your information removed or updated (i.e. you are now IRR/civilian, went to OCS, etc.). Avoid posting in the thread more than once to avoid cluttering it (although I will link to every individual post in the OP). This thread is also for non-US military, police, EMTs, firefighters, contractors, and DoD personnel.

This thread is not for asking questions about joining the military or other related organization. There is a thread for that.


Branch of Service: USA/ARNG/USAR, USAF/ANG/USAFR, USN/USNR, USMC/USMCR, CG, DoD Civilian Personnel, Civilian Police, Canadian Army, British Army, Space Marines, Starfleet, etc.
Career Field: Your MOS, AFSC, or whatever you thought you were gonna do instead of poo poo details when you got to your unit.
Additional Duties: Any side jobs you may have/had or personal expieriences you may have had. You went to airborne school, you were fat in basic, you were really good at keeping the floors shiny, etc.
Contact: In what ways you're willing to be contacted. For example PM, IM, IRC, Email, your service's thread.


THINGS YOU WILL NEVER GET TO DO




MANDATORY SAFETY BRIEF


Goon Sponsors:

Bolded Names = Commisioned Officer
Italicized Names = Warrant Officer


Navy
ManMythLegend, Surface Warfare Officer
Pandasmores, Hospital Corpsman (Psych Tech and Field Medical Service Tech)
Schlabbalabba, Submarine Navigation Electronics Technician
scottyj, Intelligence Specialist 1st Class Petty Officer (3924)
MancXVI, NEC 6704 Avionics Technician
Boon, Surface Warfare Officer
TsarAleksi, Surface Warfare Officer
moker (Prior Navy, Nuke sub MM, welder, diesel tech)
DustyNuts, Navy Career Counselor
Irregardless, Electronics Technician
LordNad, Naval Aircrewman radar operator
SkepticNerdGuy, Surface Warfare Officer (SWO)


Army
DEVILDOGOOORAH, 79R - Active Army Recruiter (Formerly 74D - CBRN Specialist and 19D - Cav Scout)
TheUnhorse, 35P - Cryptologic Linguist (Arabic)
HastyDeparture, 19D - Calvary Scout
Hell Diver, 46R Public Affairs Broadcast Journalist
Triggs, 15A - Aviation Officer (UH-60M Driver)
Carnival Rider, 35T - Military Intelligence Maintainer
Oxygenpoisoning, 74A - Chemical Officer, former 11B
Gordian, 35P Cryptologic Linguist
spleeeen, 11B1PV Ranger
dogsgowoof, 25B - Information Systems Specialist (prior 13F - Fire Support Specialist)
keepitlikeitwas, 11A - Infantry Officer
SumYungGui, 35T - Military Intellegence Systems Maintainer/Integrator
mea gulpa, 68W - Medic/Healthcare Specialist
Rude., 13F - Fire Support Specialist
The Monk, 46Q Public Affairs Specialist
Ashmole, 19A - Armor Officer
HelpImARock3, 09W1 Flight Warrant Officer
Martello, 11A Rifle Company Commander
RichieHimself (Prior Army, 11B - Infantry)
tacotuesday (Prior Army, 11C - Mortar)
freaktrain (Prior Army, first MOS: 11B1PV / second MOS: 98C2QB / third MOS: 98G3CM 98 series = 35 series)
AvianPundit (Prior Army, 68W - Medic)
racernv, 91b, Wheeled Vehicle Mechanic
Pinchy, 30a Information Operations (Prior Logistics officer)
Jokers Gamble, 11B Infantry
doogle, 37F Psyop, (Prior 25B Information Technology specialist)


Army National Guard / Reserve
McSpatula, 11B - Infantry
old dog child, 13F - Fire Support Specialist
DoktorLoken, 35F - Intelligence Analyst
morendral, 19C - Cavalry Officer
AB, 19B - Tank Officer
psydude, 12B - Combat Engineer Officer
Psychosis 01, 38B - Civil Affairs NCO
White Chocolate, 92A - Quartermaster Platoon Leader
Mr_Ruckus, 25A - Signal Officer
NGHpnotiq, Supply Specialiast (92F, 92Y)
BetterWeirdthanDead, 92G - Food Service Specialist
FIDEL CASHFLOW, 92F Fuel Supply (former 11B - Infantry in the National Guard)
kombatMedik (Prior Army National Guard, 91W/68W - Healthcare Specialist aka medic)


Air Force
pkells, 3D1X6 - Airfield Systems
Mister Man, 2S0X1 - Supply
JacksLibido, 12R3C Electronic Warfare Officer
fucklogic, 3D1X3 - RF Transmission Systems
Lavitz, 1N3X - Cryptologic Linguist
Dominoes, 12FX Weapon Systems Officer (F-15E)
Mr. Samuel Shitley, 2W051 - Munitions
Shalhavet, 3D0X2 - Cyber Systems Operations
DrCuntmuffins, 3D1X2 - Network Systems Tech/Cyber Transport Systems
davey4283, (2A3X2, F-16 Avionics Tech)
Bitter_one13, 3D153, Radio Frequency Transmission Systems
Shrap, 2E1X4 / 3D1X2 (Pre- and Post-Merger)
-Zydeco-, 2A3X1c A-10 Flightline Avionics


Air National Guard/AF Reserve
Casimir Radon, 3D1X3 - RF Transmission System Ground Radio
Jaysus, 1A2X1 - C-17 Loadmaster (Prior Active Duty)
Ckwiesr, 2A5X1 - C-5 Crew Chief
Dammit_Carl!, Engineer Assistant 3 (Prior Army Reserve and National Guard 21E, 92F)


Marines
Bob A Feet, Student Naval Aviator (7599)
squelch, 0621 - Field Radio Operator
USMC03, 1371 - Combat Engineer
overdesigned, 7599 - Flight Student (former 7372 - KC-130 Aerial Navigator)
ceyfer, 1142 - Engineer Equipment Electrical Systems Technician/0933 - Marksmanship Coach
XyzzyYYZ, 5711 - Chem, Bio, Rad, Nuclear
Tim_the_Enchanter, 0351 Infantry
Label Facing Right (Prior USMC, 0811 Field Artillery Cannon Crewman)
Xanieth (Prior USMC, 2831 / SHF Radio Technician)
Millions Knives, (Prior USMC, 2676 Pashto Linguist)
GSXRMikeS, 0421 Logistics/Embarkation Specialist
Discount_Bees, 6174 Huey/Cobra Crew Chief
Deathy McDeath, Intel, 0231

Marine Reserves
DaNerd, 2847 Telephone System/Personal Computer Repair


Coast Guard
nwin, Prevention Officer (Port State Control Officer currently)


Non-US Military (I'll break this into separate groups later)
udgaards, former Danish Army Artillery, current civilian
Emnity (Prior British Army Commissioned Officer (Captain), Class 1 EOD


Civilian Police/Fire Fighters/EMTs



State Department/DoD Civilian/[Insert Branch] Civilian
Ckwiesr, Full Time Air Reserve Technician
Our Gay Apparel, contractor (Prior Army, 35G - Imagery/Geospatial Analyst)

:siren:DOES THE MILITARY SOUND GREAT BUT YOU ARE TOO STUPID TIE YOUR SHOES? ASK ME HOW TO FAKE SERVICE BUT STILL BANG REAL TRANNIES:siren:
IDR, 0317 Scout Sniper loving poser

3 DONG HORSE fucked around with this message at 04:35 on Mar 24, 2014

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3 DONG HORSE
May 21, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization



Shamelessly stealing this from Smoke Crack (with minor modifications).


:siren:Some Informative Threads.:siren:

U.S. Veterans VA Benefits Assistance - Finally a line that isn't at the DMV.:


The U.S. Veteran Eductation Assistance - Start your transistion to TCC


The Quick Question Thread - Eliminating 90% of Threads in GiP with 1 Since 2010.


Ask about joining the military - you might change your mind.


Quarterly Prophet Memorial "Get Help" Thread - No matter how mean we seem, we really do care.


So you wanna be a cop? Ask these guys to talk you out of it.


Interested in killing babies for profit? Welcome to the contractor megathread.



Remember when your elementary school teacher told you that there are no stupid questions? She lied. Read and understand this so you don't ask dumb poo poo.

DEVILDOGOOORAH
Aug 2, 2010

~Animu fan~


why officers gotta be bold? anyhow, I'll play your silly game

Branch of Service: Army
Career Field: 79R/74D/19D I'm originally Cavalry Scout, reclassed to Chemical because of dumb circumstances and now am an Army Recruiter if that means anything
Additional Duties:
Contact: horanca at g mail . com / sometimes I'm in IRC (I'm the drunk one named HCT)

additionally if you're in WA state come to my office when I have one, I'll sign you up and buy you lunch or something unless you're fat and can't join

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008




Branch of Service: Air National Guard
Career Field: Ground Radio. Somebody might try to tell you that it's called RF Transmission Systems now, but that person is a foolish lying cocksucker, wait till they fall asleep then set them on fire.
Additional Duties: Bitch work, working with idiot contractors, a bunch of Comm poo poo not quite part of my field, worked on a bombing range.
Contact: PM, IRC

ManMythLegend
Aug 18, 2003

I don't believe in anything, I'm just here for the violence.


Branch of Service: Navy
Career Field: Surface Warfare Officer (Early Command XO/CO)
Additional Duties: I've got the Information Warfare subspecialty code, so that too I guess. I've done engineering and combat systems type jobs so I have a broad experience base. I'm a ring knocker if you're crazy and want to go to USNA for some reason. Also, I was selected for Early Command, so if you are super MOTO and are looking for advice or tips let me know.
Contact: PM's

ManMythLegend fucked around with this message at 05:56 on Jan 7, 2015

TheUnhorse
Oct 28, 2010

Smartest little intel sperg in the whole world


Branch of Service: Army
Career Field: 35P Cryptologic Linguist(Arabic)
Additional Duties: Intel poo poo
Contact: Army thread

pkells
Sep 14, 2007

King of Klatch

Branch of Service: Air Force
Career Field: 3D1X6 Airfield Systems
Additional Duties: Being your typical E-4 on the verge of getting out
Contact: AF Thread, PM, email (SA username @gmail.com)

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT



Branch of Service: Army National Guard, now a civilian
Career Field: 91-W/ 68-W Healthcare Specialist (medic)
Additional Duties: Being a civilian, giving no fucks
Contact: Army thread, Civilian thread, PM

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!


Branch of Service: Civilian, former Army
Career Field: 19D Cavalry Scout
Additional Duties: Ask me about the durability of RC cars in Afghanistan, training room poo poo, schools (lol) poo poo, or how to build needlessly complex spreadsheets that will do everything except make you coffee.
Contact: PM, Army thread

Naked Bear fucked around with this message at 22:38 on Apr 6, 2014

McSpatula
Aug 5, 2006


Branch of Service: Army National Guard
Career Field: 11B Infantry
Additional Duties: Area Beautification, E4 Mafia
Contact: PM, Army thread

Jaysus
Sep 16, 2004

"Hey, did you see my game against the Detroit Lions?"

Branch of Service: Air Force Reserves (Prior Active Duty)
Career Field: 1A2X1 - C-17 Loadmaster
Additional Duties: Instructor/Airdrop (Still both in the Reserves)
Contact: PM or IRC.

Pandasmores
May 7, 2009



Branch of Service: Navy

Career Field: Hospital Corpsman: Psych Tech and Field Medical Service Tech

Additional Duties: I give out hugs and cookies with the congratulatory pat on the back once in a while. Rarely wag my finger in disapproval (that's HM2s/E-5s job). I am now an E-3 fulfilling the duties of my HM2/E-5 along with my own as an E-3. Ask me about how I turned from a young super motivated sailor to a guy that can't wait to get out from work and get drunk.

Contact: Navy Thread or pm me.

Pandasmores fucked around with this message at 05:35 on Apr 15, 2013

NAPALM STICKS TO
Jun 22, 2005



Branch of Service: Army, now a contractor
Career Field: 35G - Imagery/Geospatial Analyst
Additional Duties: I flew so I know a bit about Army aviation, and now am an overseas contractor
Contact: Army thread, contractor thread, PM

genderstomper58
Jan 9, 2005

by XyloJW


Branch of Service: Navy, now civilian
Career Field: Nuke sub MM, welder, diesel tech
Additional Duties: Disqualed, shore retard, carrier MM
Contact: 'here or irc


genderstomper58 fucked around with this message at 23:28 on Apr 22, 2012

Bob A Feet
Aug 10, 2005
Dear diary, I got another erection today at work. SO embarrassing, but kinda hot. The CO asked me to fix up his dress uniform. I had stayed late at work to move his badges 1/8" to the left and pointed it out this morning. 1SG spanked me while the CO watched, once they caught it. Tomorrow I get to start all over again...

Branch of Service: USMC
Career Field: Student Naval Aviator (7599). criminally awesome lifestyle. I've finished one school (initial flight screening) and I'm on the waiting list with a bunch of others for the next school.
Additional Duties: knowing nothing, getting out of stuff, complaining when I have to work, being ignorance of my ignorance, other general O-1 stuff (its all true).
Contact: grab me in the USMC thread, I'll give you my email

also a ring knocker just like manmythlegend, so if you are interested in USNA, hit me up.

Bob A Feet fucked around with this message at 16:59 on Apr 22, 2012

3 DONG HORSE
May 21, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization



Branch of Service: Army National Guard
Career Field: 13F - Fire Support Specialist
Additional Duties: Bradleys (I'm not qualified but we gently caress with them every drill), picking up cigarette butts, doing nothing during drills
Contact: PM, army thread, IRC

Flying_Crab
Apr 12, 2002





Branch of Service: Army National Guard
Career Field: 35F - Intelligence Analyst
Additional Duties: ???
Contact: PM, Army Thread

Hell Diver
Feb 2, 2010

by Y Kant Ozma Post


Branch of Service: Army
Career Field: 46R Public Affairs Broadcast Journalist
Additional Duties: Air assault, armorer, combatives, and a bunch of other lame poo poo I do to waste time.
Contact: PM, irc, Army thread, whatev man

Mister Man
Nov 22, 2006

IWHBYD...

Branch of Service: USAF (Active Duty)
Career Field: 2S0X1 Supply
Additional Duties: Deploying for both AEF and JET
Contact: PM, AF Thread, cronicjps at gmail dot com

morendral
Sep 11, 2001

Death before dismount

Branch of Service: Pennsylvania Army National Guard
Career Field: 19C (Cavalry Officer)
Additional Duties: Tank crew, OIF1, Transitioning from E to O, ROTC, AOBC, ARC, Strykers, other stuff
Contact: PM

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

What, Me Worry?


Branch of Service: Pennsylvania Army National Guard
Career Field: 19B (Tank Officer)
Additional Duties: Platoon Leader, Company Weight Control Officer, Morendral's Evil Clone
Contact: PM

Triggs
Nov 23, 2005

Tango Down!

Branch of Service: Army
Career Field: 15A (Aviation Officer), UH-60M Pilot
Additional Duties: Shops Platoon Leader, Air Assault, USMA/ring knocker
Contact: PM, Army thread

Triggs fucked around with this message at 04:41 on Oct 8, 2013

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

Perry'd.


Branch of Service: Army Reserve
Career Field: 12A/12B (Combat Engineer Officer), FA-53 (Information Systems Management Officer)
Duties: Construction Platoon Leader, Mobilization Planner, Presidential Inauguration, Brigade Engineer Coordinator, Multi-Role Bridge Platoon Leader
Contact: PM

psydude fucked around with this message at 03:15 on Feb 9, 2015

squelch
Mar 8, 2005

KILL KILL KILL HURR

I'll reactivate!

Branch of Service: Former US Marine Corps
Career Field: 0621 / Field Radio Operator
Additional Duties: Assistant Communications Chief, data liason, 8 years in the artillery, former comm instructor.
Contact: PM

edit: Recently separated. Ask me about being a bitter vet, attending community college on the honors program, and comm job ideas.

squelch fucked around with this message at 06:05 on Jan 29, 2013

Carnival Rider
Apr 22, 2006



Branch of Service: Army
Career Field: 35T Military Intelligence Maintainer/Repair
Additional Duties: Armorer, being in Huachuca for too long, dealing with the military medical system (Tore 2 ligaments and had ankle surgery) and 35H CGS system operator (2 week crash course)
Contact: PM or the Army thread, I lurk a lot.

Oxygenpoisoning
Feb 20, 2006


Branch of Service: Army
Career Field: 74A Chemical Officer, former 11B
Duties: Platoon leader, Company XO, E to O transition, being both Mech and light INF, self loathing
Contact: PM or Army thread

RichieHimself
May 27, 2004

No way dude, she looks like Gargamel.

Branch of Service: Civilian, former AD army
Career Field: 11B (Infantry)
Duties: Rifleman, team leader, RTO, battalion PSD, chillin in strykers, getting recalled from the IRR, crying.
Contact: PM

RichieHimself fucked around with this message at 15:08 on May 16, 2012

tacotuesday
Dec 12, 2010


Branch of Service: Civilian, former AD Army
Career Field: 11C (mortars)
Duties: BBQ'ing, laughing at my NCOER
Contact: PM

Gooble Gobble
May 2, 2011

One of us


Branch of Service: Army
Career Field: 13F
Ask me about: Area Beautification
Contact: PM

Gooble Gobble fucked around with this message at 01:00 on Feb 9, 2014

USMC503
Jan 15, 2012

For satisfactory performance while under the effects of hostile enemy alcohol.

Branch of Service: USMCR
Career Field: 1371 - Combat Engineer
Additional Duties: Being a loving reservist, machine gunner/vehicle commander on a security team in Afghanistan, NCO life, wishing I deployed with a division side battalion instead of a POG rear end ESB, and close enough to being out to not give any fucks.
Contact: Post in the USMC thread or find me on irc. I'm almost always on or at least idling so I can get back to you.

Hooray Dialysis
May 20, 2007

everything is cool


I guess I’ll add my info again.

Branch of Service: Civilian, former USMC

Career Field: 0811 Field Artillery Cannon Crewman

Additional Duties: Pull string, go boom; skating out of working parties; getting fired from bullshit duties that I didn’t want in the first place.

Contact: PM

*Also worth noting, me and Squelch were in the same battery when I was in so both of us know pretty well how much bullshit you can expect in an artillery unit.*

Wingnut Ninja
Jan 11, 2003

Mostly Harmless


Branch of Service: USN
Career Field: Naval Flight Officer, 1320 (E-2C Hawkeye)
Additional Duties: OCS, Urinalysis Program
Contact: PM, GiP Navy thread

Wingnut Ninja fucked around with this message at 00:50 on Feb 11, 2013

nwin
Feb 25, 2002

make's u think



Branch of Service: USCG
Career Field: Prevention Officer (Port State Control Officer currently)
Additional Duties: Currently Educational Services Officer. Previously was enlisted as Boatswain's Mate 2nd class before commissioning. Served aboard Polar Icebreaker, a small boat station doing Search and Rescue and Law Enforcement, and served onboard a 210' Cutter doing Search and Rescue, Law Enforcement, Migrant Interdiction.
Contact: PM

Schlabbalabba
May 10, 2004

I'm a semen, I mean Seaman, I haven't been a semen for 20 years.

Branch of Service: US Navy
Career Field: Submarine Navigation Electronics Technician
Additional Duties: Every collateral duty they can come up with.
Contact: PM's are the best!

Also, I am going to L.C.A.C. Navigator school in Little Creek, VA this winter, so if anyone has some useful help I would appreciate it.

I'll tell you everything you want to know about being on a sub.

freaktrain
Jun 11, 2012

Choo choo!


Branch of Service: Army (now civilian)
Career Field: first MOS: 11B1PV // second MOS: 98C2QB // third MOS: 98G3CM... think they call the 98-series some 35-series poo poo now.
Additional Duties: aside from being an expert lawn-care specialist?
Contact: IM me, AIM: elhokeyloco

JacksLibido
Jul 21, 2004


Branch of Service: Air Force
Career Field: 12R3C Electronic Warfare Officer
Additional Duties: boats and ho's
Contact: PM's are best!

xan!
Aug 17, 2004

by elpintogrande


Branch of Service: Civilian, formerly US Marine Corps
Career Field: 2831 / SHF Radio Technician
Additional Duties: I was at MCCES in 29 Palms for a year so you can ask me about that I guess.
Contact: PM, USMC thread

DaNerd
Sep 15, 2009

u br?


Branch of Service: USMCR
Career Field: 2847 Telephone System/Personal Computer Repair (Fixing internet and computers)
Additional Duties: Currently working on commissioning and being a reservist.
Contact: Email or USMC thread, I don't have platinum.

spleeeen
Dec 14, 2005
Merry Christmas, faggot. Love digeraticular.

Branch of Service: Prior Army
Career Field: 11B1PV - Ranger
Additional Duties: Team leader
Contact: PM pretty much

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Whipped Buttcheeks
Jul 25, 2007
Chairborne Ranger

.

Whipped Buttcheeks fucked around with this message at 12:14 on Oct 30, 2016

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