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Jonked
Feb 15, 2005

by exmarx


Ugh, the wait is killing me. The more I look at my piece, the more things I notice that are wrong. The beginning has all the subtly of a sledgehammer, the ending is schmaltzy as all hell... I'm at the point where the only part I'm halfway proud of is the middle. Just declare me the loser already!

The whole thing has been really fun and educational though. Never really messed around with subtext before, or did flash fiction. I'm seriously amazed at how much story everybody was able to fit into ~600 words. Plus all the stories are fun, I think I like Chantilly Potatoes the best.

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Stuporstar
May 5, 2008

Where do fists come from?


slothmonster

You have been a very naughty boy, so this will be your new avatar:



The text will read: "Couldn't mash the keyboard fast enough to post 1000 words in five days. Spent the time writing about a woman getting murdered rather than potatoes. WTF" And in big red text: "THUNDERDOME Potato Fic Competition 2012"

toanoradian
May 30, 2011

The happiest waffligator


Jonked posted:

Ugh, the wait is killing me.

That's the second most painful part of Thunderdome. There is more to this Thunderdome than just fast potato writing. Far more.

Stuporstar posted:

"THUNDEROME Potato Fic Competition 2012"

I think you misspelled something here.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


We're finalizing our decisions right now. I'll show my work:

toanoradian
May 30, 2011

The happiest waffligator


Oh no, there goes my battleship! I knew I shouldn't have bet all my supply of potatoes in this game. Thankfully my bishop is still there and I have a Wild Draw Four, everything will be alright.

v you bastard

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


The Triumvirate has convened.

After much deliberation


We have a winner and a loser.


But I ain't gonna tell you who they are yet.


Suck on that, bitches.

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


You mother fuckers. If this was Mad Max, the movie would be five hours long and directed by Zach Braff.

areyoucontagious
Jun 13, 2007

Hell is other people.


Black Griffon posted:

You mother fuckers. If this was Mad Max, the movie would be five hours long and directed by Zach Braff.

Soundtrack by The Shins!

BirdOfPlay
Feb 19, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Cut off is two hours early.
Results are delayed.
Both are done to gently caress with contestants.

I love the Thunderdome. And Monday can't come soon enough.

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

I got it wrong. Look, I'm well aware I got it wrong and uh, I got it wrong.


You have used the emote! I invoke the Rite of Devo, to demand haste.

Devo, who we hold most highly posted:

Now whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead

Stuporstar
May 5, 2008

Where do fists come from?


I'd post it early just to gently caress with them, but I hear Martello is preparing something special.

Arivia
Mar 17, 2011


BirdOfPlay posted:

Cut off is two hours early.
Results are delayed.
Both are done to gently caress with contestants.

I love the Thunderdome. And Monday can't come soon enough.

Ooooo is Monday when we get a new prompt? I want!

areyoucontagious
Jun 13, 2007

Hell is other people.


Stuporstar posted:

but I hear Martello is preparing something special.


I'm a terrible mix of emotions all of the sudden!

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Nautatrol Rx posted:

We're finalizing our decisions right now. I'll show my work:



I come from a family of potato seers, and I like to think that it bodes well for my usename to be nicely centered above a potato.

slothmonster
Sep 28, 2009

Mashed keyboard to write about a woman getting murdered rather than potatoes. WTF

THUNDERDOME

Stuporstar posted:

slothmonster

You have been a very naughty boy, so this will be your new avatar:



The text will read: "Couldn't mash the keyboard fast enough to post 1000 words in five days. Spent the time writing about a woman getting murdered instead of potatoes. WTF" And in big red text: "THUNDERDOME Potato Fic Competition 2012"

It's an honor and I couldn't ask for more, thank you.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Now that I'm well and truly satisfied with the sustaining tears of sorrowful goonwriters, I shall end your pain and announce the winner and loser of Thunderdome Week I.



The avatar of the loser is as follows:



New prompts and deadline will be released tomorrow. If we feel like it. If not, Monday.

Winner, PM me immediately with ideas for Week II.

Hey Jonked, your taste in stories sucks.



Who run Bartertown?

Jonked
Feb 15, 2005

by exmarx


Apparently!

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003


I'm so excited for round two, oh God.

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


Too much loving echo! Who the gently caress is the winner?

toanoradian
May 30, 2011

The happiest waffligator


Congrats, Sitting Here! You skillful duck, you. Your observation of your position at a potato turns out to be true! You are truly the potatoest of all seers.

edit: there is no luck in the dome

Mecca-Benghazi
Mar 31, 2012



Sitting Here won and Arivia lost.

I'm between the winner and the loser in the graphic. What does this mean?

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Alas, I hath been dethroned, and the oddly-phallic scepter is passed unto Sitting Here.

Enjoy your reign, gentle-goon, but realize that you are merely keeping my throne warm until I return in three weeks.

Found Sound
Jun 8, 2010

This is what you get for running under the wire.

THUNDERDOME


Nice, congrats Sitting Here! There's no going wrong with malevolent psychic tuberous horrors, I think.

Stuporstar posted:

FOUND SOUND

I have slaved away creating this potato avatar for you, from scratch, because I am awesome (and a poo poo animator, but never mind):



Your custom title shall be: "This is what you get for running under the wire." And in big red text underneath: "THUNDERDOME Potato Fic Competition 2012" It must be centered.

Aww. Lookit that cute li'l spud.

Stuporstar
May 5, 2008

Where do fists come from?


All right, so now you know the winner, and loser, here are my results:

SurreptitiousMuffin
Horticulture at the end of the world
(nothing better to do in Invercargill)

+20 points for amazing word-slinging.
+5 points for the phrase "If we must fear potatoes and be ruled by fear, we are ruled by potatoes;" Such amazingly bendy logic deserves to be recognized.
-5 points for me not being stoned enough to really feel the agony, man.
Total: 20 points

Sitting Here
Spudipus Complex

+5 for the pun in the title.
-10 points for what the gently caress.
+20 points for WHAT THE gently caress.
-5 points for the Pink Floyd reference. Because lazy, that's why.
+5 points for capturing the true agony of a psychic potato attack.
+5 points for the phrase "THERE ARE FIVE POTATOES" reverberating in my head like it had Twilight Zone sound effects.
+10 points for writing such an awesomely hosed up story I unfavorably compared all other submissions to yours. Note: this contest is not fair.
Total: 30 points

Wrageowrapper
The Potato Cult

+10 points for knowing your potatoes.
+10 points for writing about a naked man rolling in potatoes, and managing to be totally hilarious while being creepy as gently caress.
+5 points for reminding me of a Four in the Floor sketch that warped me for life when I was eight.
+5 points for making me go, "Ha!" when I read the officer joke.
-10 points for making me go, "Pfft …" after reading that moldy old officer joke.
Total: 20 points

T-Bone
Formula 1845

+20 points for blowing up your protagonist with a potato.
-10 points for blowing up the dog, you monster.
+10 points for narrative voice.
-5 points for lackluster dialogue.
Total: 15 points

Noah
Would you like fries with that?

-10 points for starting your dialogue in a white room and not making it immediately clear your protagonist was sitting at home ordering over the phone rather than talking on the phone while standing in line to order. Sloppy writing, dude.
+5 points for decent dialogue.
-5 points for lazy writing such as, "The anger he felt was quickly replaced by embarrassment."
+10 points for making this dude really agonize over his potatoes.
+5 points for this line: "Grant was not circumcised and wondered if the choice of waffle fries would reveal this truth to his roommate."
Total: 5 points

areyoucontagious
The Tenant Farmer’s Lamentation

+10 points for being comically maudlin. I can practically hear the violins.
-10 points for not being sure if you're taking the prompt way too seriously.
Total: 0 points

Bad Seafood
Starched Earth

-10 points for annoying me with the formatting. Oh ho, you made me roll over nothing! Tee hee. Well, now you don't get to win, Mr. Clever Boots.
+5 points for a pun in the title.
+5 points for the slow build to crazy town.
+5 points for the dude naming his potatoes.
+5 points for when the potatoes start talking to him.
+5 points for him agonizing over eating his personified potatoes.
+5 points for Canadian Surf Club's suggestion to read it in Captain Kirk's voice, making it all the more awesome. The rules are arbitrary, people. Deal with it.
0 points deducted for terrible writing—because you entertained me.
Total: 20 points

Arivia
Chantilly Potatoes

-20 points for writing about a creepy-rear end Frenchman agonizing over women rather than potatoes.
-10 points for boring me with bad verbiage.
+5 points for having the brass potatoes to lip off the judges before casting our votes.
Total: -25 points

sebmojo
+10 points for the first line: "the sun above a fiery griddle cake sliding down the red-hot sky."
+10 points for having the sheer taters to have your fantasy characters say poo poo like, "Ho!"
+5 points for pulling out all stops with that "King of the Fairies" bit.
+5 points for writing a ridiculous fairy tale.
-5 points for not being ridiculous enough.
-10 points to offset Martello's massive man-crush on you.
Total: 15 points

Autumncomet
Sacks

-10 points for calling death "Azrael" and trying to lampshade it with, "I see. A bit of a let-down." The joke would have worked if you called him Barry or something. Since you skirted the funny line but didn't quite cross it, this mediocre story fills me with meh.
Total: -10 points

Jonked
The Priest's Choice

-20 points for your character not agonizing over literal potatoes.
+25 points for your character agonizing over his balls and calling them potatoes.
+10 points for having a priest squeeze his own balls.
-10 points for stilted and rambling expository dialogue.
-5 points for saying you liked the loser's story.
Total: 0 points

SC Bracer
A Potato Bet

+15 points for making the punchline every whiny goon on SA.
-5 points for not making me feel the agony over those sour potatoes.
Total: 10 points

Capntastic
Life Under Soil

+20 points for taking the same concept as SC Bracer and turning into a proper story dripping with goony agony and awkwardness.
Total: 20 points

Canadian Surf Club
The Silence of the Potatoes

+10 points for writing about a tin hat who talks to his potatoes and making it completely original from all the other stories where the potatoes talk to crazies.
+10 points for ending with a metal as gently caress potato slaying.
+5 points for the line, "The potatoes were humming joyous".
Total: 25 points

Black Griffon
Jim Robinson on Spotify

-20 points for a man agonizing over his son more than potatoes.
+20 points because that's realistic, and it's not a bad story.
-5 points because this last line is super weak: "Ice Cream played on Spotify, and Kurt was fine with it."
Total: -5
Would have been a respectable 15 if you met my mysterious bullshit criteria. That's Thunderdome.

BirdOfPlay
"Blue Ribbon... Potato?"

+10 for brutal editing. The scene was decent without those 150 words, so they were probably all bullshit anyway.
-5 for not cutting all the right words. You could trim the verbiage and add more relevant details.
-5 for ellipsis abuse. I wasn't going to dock points for this, but you did it in the friggin title and that makes baby potatoes cry.
+5 for that alien potato ... thing. I don't have to follow my own rules in this contest. Shut up.
+5 for Margaret's rules lawyering (great unlikeable character there).
+5 for a potato's scream breaking a dude's teeth. Holy gently caress, dude.
Total: 15

Honey Badger
Room 418

+5 for getting around the prompt by having your character agonize over Mrs. Potato head. Close enough for me.
+5 because that Christmas scene is the goddamned truth and it's ridiculous.
+5 for coming up with "Paula Tater."
Total: 15

toanoradian
Man Who is Immune to Tranquilizers

-5 for loving up your opening paragraph with the wrong tense.
+5 for making me laugh with "super cancer" even though that's such a bad line I slapped myself afterwards.
+5 for the doctor acting like an idiot and yelling, "You stabbed him in the brain!"
-10 for this horrible horrible line: "Override his pain system, turn off all pain sensors, activate the sleep program, bob’s your uncle," and then lampshading it. Yeesh.
+20 for all this:

quote:

Genada moved in front of the doctor, staring at Spud. “You are incredibly allergic to potatoes. Your pain is because you insist on sleeping on a bed made out of potato. To avoid further pain, stop sleeping on a potato bed. Or drinking from a potato mug. Or writing with potato pen. Avoid potatoes in general.”

“But doctor, I come from a family of potatocraftsmen. What else can I do?”

Genada looked at him. She pulled out a needle and stabbed herself in the forehead. “Let me check my database.” After a few seconds, she replied, “Try cucumber.”

Total: 15

Dr. Kloctopussy
THE GORTA MOR

+10 for knowing your Gorta Mor before writing a story about the potato famine in Ireland.
+10 for writing a damned good story.
0 points deducted for taking the prompt seriously, because you wrote a damned good story.
Total: 20 points

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004



The dog was a menace to potatoes and buttholes everywhere and deserved what it got

Jonked
Feb 15, 2005

by exmarx


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_eSwq1ewsU

Mecca-Benghazi
Mar 31, 2012



Ah, I see. I didn't know whether to take the prompt seriously or not and suffered accordingly. I will redeem myself in the next round of this glorious competition.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


Wrageowrapper tickled my pickle the most, so everyone knows. He was my choice, but the other two hack judges didn't recognize spudiroticism as a legitimate orientation.

(call me... I'd russet your reds)

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003


"Why the hell am I spending hours on historical research instead of repeatedly slamming my hairy butt cheeks against the keyboard?" -- Me, about 50 times this week.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


As an additional prize, I did a dramatic reading of "Spudipus Complex."



The background music is "Dirty Blue" by Woven Hand.

I'll post my thoughts on each story tomorrow or Monday.

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

I got it wrong. Look, I'm well aware I got it wrong and uh, I got it wrong.


Now that judging is out of the way I have to ask, how obvious was it that the narrator was meant to be massively stoned and the joke was "holy poo poo this guy"?

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW


SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

Now that judging is out of the way I have to ask, how obvious was it that the narrator was meant to be massively stoned and the joke was "holy poo poo this guy"?

You're assuming that anyone besides Stuporstar bothered to read the stories before we judged them, which may or may not be wrong.

It's entirely a possibility that we just copied off the answers of the house nerd.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Speaking of which, I finished my thoughts on the stories earlier than expected. I used pretty much the same scoring criteria as Stuporstar. Here they are:

SurreptitiousMuffin
Horticulture at the end of the world
(nothing better to do in Invercargill)

+20 points for amazing word-slinging.
+5 points for the phrase "If we must fear potatoes and be ruled by fear, we are ruled by potatoes;" Such amazingly bendy logic deserves to be recognized.
-5 points for me not being stoned enough to really feel the agony, man.
Total: 20 points

Sitting Here
Spudipus Complex

+5 for the pun in the title.
-10 points for what the gently caress.
+20 points for WHAT THE gently caress.
-5 points for the Pink Floyd reference. Because lazy, that's why.
+5 points for capturing the true agony of a psychic potato attack.
+5 points for the phrase "THERE ARE FIVE POTATOES" reverberating in my head like it had Twilight Zone sound effects.
+10 points for writing such an awesomely hosed up story I unfavorably compared all other submissions to yours. Note: this contest is not fair.
Total: 30 points

Wrageowrapper
The Potato Cult

+10 points for knowing your potatoes.
+10 points for writing about a naked man rolling in potatoes, and managing to be totally hilarious while being creepy as gently caress.
+5 points for reminding me of a Four in the Floor sketch that warped me for life when I was eight.
+5 points for making me go, "Ha!" when I read the officer joke.
-10 points for making me go, "Pfft " after reading that moldy old officer joke.
Total: 20 points

T-Bone
Formula 1845

+20 points for blowing up your protagonist with a potato.
-10 points for blowing up the dog, you monster.
+10 points for narrative voice.
-5 points for lackluster dialogue.
Total: 15 points

Noah
Would you like fries with that?

-10 points for starting your dialogue in a white room and not making it immediately clear your protagonist was sitting at home ordering over the phone rather than talking on the phone while standing in line to order. Sloppy writing, dude.
+5 points for decent dialogue.
-5 points for lazy writing such as, "The anger he felt was quickly replaced by embarrassment."
+10 points for making this dude really agonize over his potatoes.
+5 points for this line: "Grant was not circumcised and wondered if the choice of waffle fries would reveal this truth to his roommate."
Total: 5 points

areyoucontagious
The Tenant Farmers Lamentation

+10 points for being comically maudlin. I can practically hear the violins.
-10 points for not being sure if you're taking the prompt way too seriously.
Total: 0 points

Bad Seafood
Starched Earth

-10 points for annoying me with the formatting. Oh ho, you made me roll over nothing! Tee hee. Well, now you don't get to win, Mr. Clever Boots.
+5 points for a pun in the title.
+5 points for the slow build to crazy town.
+5 points for the dude naming his potatoes.
+5 points for when the potatoes start talking to him.
+5 points for him agonizing over eating his personified potatoes.
+5 points for Canadian Surf Club's suggestion to read it in Captain Kirk's voice, making it all the more awesome. The rules are arbitrary, people. Deal with it.
0 points deducted for terrible writingbecause you entertained me.
Total: 20 points

Arivia
Chantilly Potatoes

-20 points for writing about a creepy-rear end Frenchman agonizing over women rather than potatoes.
-10 points for boring me with bad verbiage.
+5 points for having the brass potatoes to lip off the judges before casting our votes.
Total: -25 points

sebmojo
+10 points for the first line: "the sun above a fiery griddle cake sliding down the red-hot sky."
+10 points for having the sheer taters to have your fantasy characters say poo poo like, "Ho!"
+5 points for pulling out all stops with that "King of the Fairies" bit.
+5 points for writing a ridiculous fairy tale.
-5 points for not being ridiculous enough.
+10 points fer legit cyberpunk
Total: 25 points

Autumncomet
Sacks

-10 points for calling death "Azrael" and trying to lampshade it with, "I see. A bit of a let-down." The joke would have worked if you called him Barry or something. Since you skirted the funny line but didn't quite cross it, this mediocre story fills me with meh.
Total: -10 points

Jonked
The Priest's Choice

-20 points for your character not agonizing over literal potatoes.
+25 points for your character agonizing over his balls and calling them potatoes.
+10 points for having a priest squeeze his own balls.
-10 points for stilted and rambling expository dialogue.
-5 points for saying you liked the loser's story.
Total: 0 points

SC Bracer
A Potato Bet

+15 points for making the punchline every whiny goon on SA.
-5 points for not making me feel the agony over those sour potatoes.
Total: 10 points

Capntastic
Life Under Soil

+20 points for taking the same concept as SC Bracer and turning into a proper story dripping with goony agony and awkwardness.
Total: 20 points

Canadian Surf Club
The Silence of the Potatoes

+10 points for writing about a tin hat who talks to his potatoes and making it completely original from all the other stories where the potatoes talk to crazies.
+10 points for ending with a metal as gently caress potato slaying.
+5 points for the line, "The potatoes were humming joyous".
Total: 25 points

Black Griffon
Jim Robinson on Spotify

-20 points for a man agonizing over his son more than potatoes.
+20 points because that's realistic, and it's not a bad story.
-5 points because this last line is super weak: "Ice Cream played on Spotify, and Kurt was fine with it."
Total: -5
Would have been a respectable 15 if you met my mysterious bullshit criteria. That's Thunderdome.

BirdOfPlay
"Blue Ribbon... Potato?"

+10 for brutal editing. The scene was decent without those 150 words, so they were probably all bullshit anyway.
-5 for not cutting all the right words. You could trim the verbiage and add more relevant details.
-5 for ellipsis abuse. I wasn't going to dock points for this, but you did it in the friggin title and that makes baby potatoes cry.
+5 for that alien potato ... thing. I don't have to follow my own rules in this contest. Shut up.
+5 for Margaret's rules lawyering (great unlikeable character there).
+5 for a potato's scream breaking a dude's teeth. Holy gently caress, dude.
Total: 15

Honey Badger
Room 418

+5 for getting around the prompt by having your character agonize over Mrs. Potato head. Close enough for me.
+5 because that Christmas scene is the goddamned truth and it's ridiculous.
+5 for coming up with "Paula Tater."
Total: 15

toanoradian
Man Who is Immune to Tranquilizers

-5 for loving up your opening paragraph with the wrong tense.
+5 for making me laugh with "super cancer" even though that's such a bad line I slapped myself afterwards.
+5 for the doctor acting like an idiot and yelling, "You stabbed him in the brain!"
-10 for this horrible horrible line: "Override his pain system, turn off all pain sensors, activate the sleep program, bobs your uncle," and then lampshading it. Yeesh.
+20 for all this:


Total: 15

Dr. Kloctopussy
THE GORTA MOR

+10 for knowing your Gorta Mor before writing a story about the potato famine in Ireland.
+10 for writing a damned good story.
0 points deducted for taking the prompt seriously, because you wrote a damned good story.
Total: 20 points

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry



So it was foretold, so it came to pass. I am THE POTATO SEER and with my tuberous inner sight I will take your measure, at the sacred hour of [approx. one week from now].

Update: And the SA forums shook that day, down to their very core, so that none could enter in the wake of the victorious. (Anyone know why the forums disappeared?)


Thank you

Martello: I want you to know I will keep this forever and drat that there isn't a way to hang it on my refrigerator or something. Sorry I forgot to mention it in the [super secret judge]PM, you did great. Also I like your scoring breakdown.

Next week is gonna be bloody as gently caress hopefully so wear your kneepads.

Honey Badger
Jan 5, 2012

^^^ Like this, but its your mouth, and shit comes out of it.

"edit: Oh neat, babby's first avatar. Kind of a convoluted metaphor but eh..."

No, shit is actually extruding out of your mouth, and your'e a pathetic dick, shut the fuck up.

Agreeing with the critiques so far, and congrats to Sitting Here. Can't wait to see the next prompt, the fact that my writing apparently isn't total poo poo has got me pumped to get more stuff out for critiquing. I've always been afraid of being laughed out of CC so my writing hobby kind of faded away for a while, but I can't pass up such enticing challenges.

Seriously, thanks to everyone that organized this, because it is a perfect way to get into the swing of things and work on writing chops without the pressure of committing to five-thousand word stories.

Long live the Thunderdome!

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Fallen Rib

I am sitting in meditation, sweat steaming off of my muscular body after hours of harsh physical training. My eyes snap open and I surmise a wet tablet of clay in front of me. I am prepared for the next challenge. I will not settle for less than victory.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Looks like we'll be posting the new prompt, rules and deadlines tomorrow. REAL LIFE has gotten in the way.

My thoughts on the first few stories follow. I didn't use some awesome points criteria like Stuporstar, because I can't do even basic math because I'm a left-brained creative process person who follows my gut and intuition and is guided by my spirit-self and because I'm lazy. Instead I'll just say what I thought in general of each story.

Horticulture at the end of the world
(nothing better to do in Invercargill


by SurreptitiousMuffin

I liked how you didn't take the prompt seriously and just gave us a funny, short thing to read and laugh at. The crazy stoner thing came across quite well. This wasn't a proper story, but I liked it and I hope you write more of this kind of thing.

Spudipus Complex

by Sitting Here

This was loving insane and whacked out and I don't know what it means but I love it. I agree with Stupor that the Pink Floyd reference was lazy. It pulled me out of the story by being an obviously cribbed line when the rest of it was so original and out-there. Still, "Spudipus Complex" is all I've been thinking about the past few days. I mean, obviously, I did a reading of the drat thing.

The Potato Cult

by Wrageowrapper

This cracked me up too. The idea of a potato cult is great, and the visual of a naked man rolling in potatoes made me grin. It didn't tickle my taint the way it did for Nautatrol, but your kink is not my kink and that's okay. The story amused me, but it didn't grab me the way some of the other stories did. And I'll echo Stuporstar again and say the "officer" joke at the end was kind of a "wanh wanh wanh" tuba ending.

I'll post the rest of my thoughts in the next 24 hours.

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


Stuporstar posted:

Black Griffon
Jim Robinson on Spotify

-20 points for a man agonizing over his son more than potatoes.
+20 points because that's realistic, and it's not a bad story.
-5 points because this last line is super weak: "Ice Cream played on Spotify, and Kurt was fine with it."
Total: -5
Would have been a respectable 15 if you met my mysterious bullshit criteria. That's Thunderdome.

Ah well, gotta pay more respect to the mysteries next time.

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003


Martello posted:


Spudipus Complex

by Sitting Here

This was loving insane and whacked out and I don't know what it means but I love it. I agree with Stupor that the Pink Floyd reference was lazy. It pulled me out of the story by being an obviously cribbed line when the rest of it was so original and out-there. Still, "Spudipus Complex" is all I've been thinking about the past few days. I mean, obviously, I did a reading of the drat thing.

it seems a little silly to complain about a line cribbed from Pink Floyd when the entire story is a Star Trek parody piece (which is itself a referencing 1984, heh).

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Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


I don't watch Star Trek so I had no idea.

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