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My favorite was Primoman's entry.
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Aug 27, 2012 06:03
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Well, I didn't lose. I will chuck that as a win. Also, I poo poo Venus De Milos. 
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Aug 27, 2012 06:06
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Good thing Martello's stepping down this week. I can't imagine anyone surviving him and Sebmojo running the cabal at the same time. Dodged a bullet.
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Aug 27, 2012 06:39
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Bad Seafood posted:Good thing Martello's stepping down this week. Nah, it would just be cyberpunk with a side-order of cyberpunk. And I would demand DEVO references.  Think about what you could have had in an alternate dimension. Now I'm sad, and it's all your fault, you awful awful people. I'm going back to my mountain.
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Aug 27, 2012 07:20
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Awww man, and I've had this avatar so long. PS: still waiting on the comments on the readings. Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:
A lot of anti-dwarf bias evident here. I am shocked!
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Aug 27, 2012 08:06
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Aug 27, 2012 10:35
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Am compiling my notes and grading according to the time-tested method of assigning arbitrary point values to smilies and then representing the total as a fruit, vegetable, or tuber. I expect to have these ready tonight.
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Aug 27, 2012 18:37
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Where's my new prompt, dammit?  
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Aug 27, 2012 19:18
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areyoucontagious posted:Where's my new prompt, dammit? Prompts are coming in a few hours. And just for that you're getting a special one, son. Things been gettin' lax round here. Soft. Weak. We aimin' to fix that.
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Aug 27, 2012 22:07
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*OFFICIAL THUNDERDOME WEEK IV COMPETITION* Come one come all to this weeks show in the Thunderdome. I'm stepping in for Stuporstar this week. Compared to her I'm politely critical, politely brutal, and always brutally honest about how much I think your work sucks. I was impressed last week and I want to keep that gravy train running. So aim to please me, because my standards for "good" are not attainable by were ordinary writers. So do your best or I'll be putting you down HARD.  PROMPT: "last man on the moon" Interpret that phrase anyway you like with the following no-wiggle-room caveats. 1. You are not allowed to break any rules of physics in your story, NONE. I'll fact check everything so don't try to pass anything off. 2. It must be EXACTLY 1000 WORDS no more, no less, immediate DQ if you deviate by a single word. I can check accurately so don't round when you give me the word count. 3.You gotta set it on a moon. EXTRA CREDIT:Do it in the style of stanislaw lem You must declare your intention to compete by 7PM EST by tommorow, Tuesday. Your entries are due no later than 7PM EST Sunday Because areyoucontagious was so eager to get started his entry will be due this Friday by 7pm EST Fanfic will NOT be considered. Use your own imagination not someone else's. You also get to spend next week in the penalty box if you break this one! Let the slaughter begin 
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Aug 28, 2012 00:21
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I'm in.
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Aug 28, 2012 00:23
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You saw nothing.
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Aug 28, 2012 00:27
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I will once again attempt to be the winner in Thunderdome. What other option are there?
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Aug 28, 2012 00:33
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Outside the Thunderdome there is only despair. Thunderdome will be your home, Thunderdome will be your grave.
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Aug 28, 2012 00:35
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Is title excluded from word count?
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Aug 28, 2012 00:35
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HiddenGecko posted:EXTRA CREDIT:Do it in the style of stanislaw lem In the style of Italo Calvino is also acceptable. Possibly compulsory, I haven't decided yet. And nor will I until I have my Judgeblades in my hands, ready for the flensing. Any mewling piffle about 'oh I didn't quite hit the word count teehee' or 'well it's got robots so that's sort of like stanislaw lem' or even 'the moon is a metaphor in this story don't you see' will be met with the ULTIMATE FEROCITY they deserve.
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Aug 28, 2012 00:36
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Noah posted:Is title excluded from word count? The title is made of words, yes? Then it is part of the word count.
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Aug 28, 2012 00:37
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Hyphenated words count as if they were separated. Ex: Flim-flam is two words, not one.
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Aug 28, 2012 00:38
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Of course I'm in. Bring it 
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Aug 28, 2012 00:40
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I am in.
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Aug 28, 2012 00:52
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How will the style of David Foster Wallace be met?
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Aug 28, 2012 01:06
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Screw it, I'm in. And I'm not sure who Stanislaw Lem was, I thought he was one of the brothers that wrote Roadside Picnic (was Arduy and Boris Strugatsky) but turns out Solaris was one of his so I was close in that Tarkovsky made a film adaptation.  To the Thunderdome!
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Aug 28, 2012 01:09
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:How will the style of David Foster Wallace be met? Unless it is awesome, it will be met with fire and steel. That kind of applies to everything though. The only styles that count for credit are Lem or Calvino, everything else is between you and your feeble 'god'.
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Aug 28, 2012 01:10
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Ready to flagellate myself in the church of Thunderdome once again.
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Aug 28, 2012 01:26
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Sitting Here posted:Ready to flagellate myself in the church of Thunderdome once again. Flagellate all you want. Blood is weak. Words are power.
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Aug 28, 2012 01:28
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I SUPPOSE I can give this a go. I may even end up writing something sensible. I doubt it but you never know.
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Aug 28, 2012 01:37
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Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:Hyphenated words count as if they were separated. Ex: Flim-flam is two words, not one. Using the Scrivener Law, I see. This will be incredible. I expect everyone to fail miserably. If I can take a break from writing about lesbians tribbing, licking, and slaying each other in cyberpunk Israel, or rear end in a top hat PIs looking for japanese anime swords in cyberpunk Hoboken, I might throw something down. Something about a heavily-cybered security consultant from the backwoods of Pennsylvania having sex with the debutante daughter of a Scottish nude model and a Welsh venture capital tycoon while investigating the Welshman's suspicious death in a cyberpunk colony on the Moon. Which will be auto-DQ'd, of course.
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Aug 28, 2012 01:43
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Orders from on high tell me there will be no more free lunches when it comes to avatars. Seems you've been enjoying your losertars too much, so now all you losers get one. What that is, you'll find out when the hammer comes down.
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Aug 28, 2012 02:24
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So in! Time to read some Lem and Calvino!
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Aug 28, 2012 03:09
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That's one hell of a prompt, but no guts no glory. Maybe this time I can escape the confining world of mediocrity.
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Aug 28, 2012 03:53
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Pain is love. I am in.
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Aug 28, 2012 04:07
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I think this is the part where Stockholm Syndrome settles in. I'm game.
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Aug 28, 2012 06:22
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If anyone gives a poo poo, now that the next round's been announced, here are your scores (have to multi-post, due to smiley-limits): Bodnoirbabe -- "Control Within" Setting: Inside someone's head Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: Depending on how you define "main character", either (demon) or (transgendered, lesbian, Otherkin)  for being the first contestant to finish. for not running spell-check before submitting. ("emptyness", "prefered", "adonis", "immedietly", "I wont get a job ") because I think it's meant to be humorous. because I'm not entirely certain. for "Calisto swiped his claws across Esphaerel's neck, opening a large cut." A "large cut" is what you get when your hand slips while slicing a tomato. You're talking about the sort of damage that a "muscular" jaguar-creature can inflict on an exposed throat. Use words that convey severity.  for name-dropping Dashiell Hammett in the first sentence, then completely abandoning the noir portion of the prompt. for being "Bodnoirbabe" and not noir-ing the everloving poo poo out of this.FINAL SCORE: lima beans Chairchucker -- "I Still Get Paid, Right?" Setting: An office Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: vertically-challenged, either asexual or gay  for ignoring the "off-the-beaten-path" prompt. for using 618 words to tell a joke about a midget and a blind African-American ("jive turkey" leads me to believe that the character is supposed to be American... and stuck in the '70s) psychopath who run a detective agency.FINAL SCORE: durian areyoucontagious -- "Heart of Darkness" Setting: Johannesburg, Soth Africa Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: Bhaca(?) -- the last name's Bhaca, but he refers to Xhosa as his "native language" and makes no mention of the isiBhaca dialect.  for having all of your South African characters living in South Africa pay for everything in euros. Except for the "gold coin" in the first scene, which I suspect is meant to be real gold, as both the 5-rand and euro coins are bi-metallic. for "Most people ‘lost’ in Africa met untimely deaths, usually at the hands of unscrupulous criminals." (A) As opposed to the principled criminals who kill people? (B) Really? You have a source to back this up? for "They are worth millions, but he refused to listen. He would have sold them to this stupid jeweler for a pittance." -- The entire story is predicated upon an amaXhosa(?) man not knowing that diamonds can be worth a lot of money, and being so determined to sell them for the cost of a pack of chewing gum that he ignores any attempt at independent appraisal?FINAL SCORE: Brussels sprouts Wrageowrapper -- "Special Forces: The Case Of Nia'Tufus Head" Setting: Tarawa, Kiribati Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: mentally-challenged, women, Micronesian (I-Kiribati) (?)  for choosing the most "off-the-beaten-path" location this week. for creating a character with Down's who makes more sense than 90% of people on the internet. Who do you think you are, William Faulkner?  for not doing your research. Everyone knows that all people with Down's live in a penned-in Dutch metropolis.FINAL SCORE: a suggestively-shaped turnip Seldom Posts -- "Gin and Blood" Setting: Johannesburg, South Africa Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: transgendered gay male, African  for so much gender-bending that I'm still not sure who has what genetalia for building an intricate plot of double-crosses on top of a scene where the main character is close enough to smell booze on a "corpse", but can't be bothered to check for a pulse... or even notice that the body's breathing.FINAL SCORE: water chestnuts As Nero Danced -- "No Coming Back" Setting: Georgetown, Guyana Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: gay male of African descent, disabled  for making the lead character an "ethnic outsider" in his own country. for having such a character deck a cop at a murder scene and still be able to walk afterwards. Unless you have a source to back up your depiction of Guyana cops as the least coplike cops to ever cop?FINAL SCORE: cauliflower
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Aug 28, 2012 07:09
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HiddenGecko -- "The Cave Bear and the Lion" Setting: Prehistory Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: Caveman,   for cavemen for loquacious cavemen. “My people! A great tragedy has befallen us, the younger son of Lim was murdered,” Gasps and angry yells followed, “he was killed for the selfish reason of bringing me alone into the forest so your only recourse would be to appoint Lim’s family in my stead when I didn’t return!” for leading me to expect Der to produce a top hat and monocle and invent agriculture. Disappointed.FINAL SCORE: teosinte Bad Seafood -- "Brittle Butterfly" Setting: Afghanistan Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: Afghan, Muslim, female, transvestite (but only for practical reasons)  for butterfly bombs Gonna need a  or a  to tell me whether an Afghan street urchin would be quoting the Quran in Arabic, or whether the Pashto or Dari translations are used instead. for collateral damage.FINAL SCORE: grape leaves kangaroojunk -- "After the Promise" Setting: Haiti (?) or Martinique (?) Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: female, insect  for coming up with a story that reminded me of the Anansi tales. for doing so when the prompt was for noir.FINAL SCORE: roasted corn in hell Honey Badger -- "Ghost" Setting: Phnom Penh, Cambodia Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: bi-racial (Cambodian & African), gay (?)  for writing the first chapter of a promising cyberpunk story. for only writing the first chapter of a promising cyberpunk story.FINAL SCORE: bamboo shoots sebmojo -- "Lion, in the rain." Setting: Bangkok, Thailand Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: Thai, female (short)  for making your main character a chipper little street urchin, and somehow pulling it off. for writing an actual story with a beginning, middle, and end (unlike that cocktease, Honey Badger)FINAL SCORE: sweet papaya Canadian Surf Club -- "Inuition" Setting: The frozen wastes of Up There Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: Inuit  for Inuit crime stories for deus ex machina wilderness chicks who can patch up a harpooned man lickety-split and get him on his feet and running in time for the finale.FINAL SCORE: beets Noah -- "Pineapple Fields" Setting: Hawai'i (Kawaii?) Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: Hawaiian  for Hawaiian slang for pre-WWII Hawaiian slang that sounds pretty much like modern Hawaiian slang. You got a source?FINAL SCORE: taro
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Aug 28, 2012 07:11
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SurreptitiousMuffin -- "Bring-your-daughter-to-work day" Setting: San Juan, Puerto Rico Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: Puerto Rican, gay(?)  because I honestly can't tell if you used the feminine "loca" to signify that he's calling Paulo a "crazy bitch". because I honestly can't tell if I'm missing shitloads of subtext in the dialogue, or if I'm trying to add subtext where there isn't supposed to be any. because I have no loving idea what Sonia saw in the cemetery. for the dramatic reading.FINAL SCORE: a can with no label. Could be peaches, could be spinach. Sitting Here -- "Charity Case" Setting: Colorado Springs, CO Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: disabled  for choosing the Hard Luck Harry path, rather than the straight-up cop/criminal/P.I. one. because, with an entire planet to choose from, you picked Colorado Springs. -- do my eyes deceive me, or is the dealer a cisgendered, able-bodied, hetero, white American male?FINAL SCORE: hominy Jonked -- "Cracolândia" Setting: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: Brazilian  for the local flavor. for being pretty much what's on the label: drugs and violence. for wasting an opportunity to push your boundaries a bit. Because you know what's more badass than a favela gun-for-hire? A transvestite favela gun-for-hire in full Carnaval regalia.FINAL SCORE: tapioca Autumncomet -- "A Newer Generation" Setting: Kyrgyzstan Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: Kyrgyz, female  +  because loving Kyrgyzstan for women who love women eloping to Vegas. for "Why did you tell Albina’s father she would come back when she had obviously never been here?" Was it obvious? I missed the Miss Marple-ing.FINAL SCORE: fried garlic Capntastic -- "Cardboard Wings" Setting: Dayton loving Ohio Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: African-American, female  for Dayton. The whole goddamn world to choose from, he picks Dayton. for not bothering with noir. for not one line of dialogue, not a fleck of action, just a lecture from a white guy on the topic of "It must suck to be a poor black woman."FINAL SCORE: raw potato toanoradian -- "Cord" Setting: Java Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: Javanese, shaman  for shamanic sleuthing. because I can't properly berate you for switching verb tense, since your English is a thousand times better than my Bahasa. for the dramatic readingFINAL SCORE: jackfruit
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Aug 28, 2012 07:11
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bigmcgaffney -- "Lionel Messi’s Righteous Left Foot" Setting: Argentina (?) Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: Argentine, disabled, gay  for burning a bull alive instead of just asking for a date. for weird burned-animal description. Is there some reason that a fried bull doesn't just smell like steak? because, if the bovine is blackened to the bone, what the hell are the maggots eating? for South American international prejudice.FINAL SCORE: broccoli Black Griffon -- "The Girl and the Sordid Pictures" Setting: Kapala, Uganda Under-represented group(s) to which the main character belongs: disembodied brain, asexual... which I guess comes naturally to disembodied brains.  for Ugandan cyberpunk. for even considering making your female lead another goddamn Otherkin. for killing a roomful of dudes over naughty pictures. for the dramatic reading.FINAL SCORE: ligonberry
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Aug 28, 2012 07:12
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budgieinspector posted:toanoradian -- "Cord" Goddammit this is a constant problem! I keep switching tenses. Until I fix this problem I will not have a chance at that beautiful throne...
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Aug 28, 2012 07:47
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budgieinspector posted:SurreptitiousMuffin -- "Bring-your-daughter-to-work day"
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Aug 28, 2012 07:57
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Love the series of reviews, budgie. Good work. On the topic of Afghans and quotations/common phrases relating to Islam in Bad Seafood's story, speaking in Arabic is on the money. Some Afghan men were sentenced to 20 years in prison for translations that did not include the Arabic alongside the other languages, so keeping the original text--along with knowing it--is considered very important.
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Aug 28, 2012 08:06
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 09:28 |
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:Wait, that's actually right? Yeah, I was trying to imply they were gay by using the feminine ending but my only source of that being a thing is wikipedia. I'll leave that to Martello's P.R. pals to say, but you don't really hear it in Mexican Spanish. At least, not with the folks I know. I can't properly say what the "rules" are within the gay community -- whether they have an equivalent of the quintessentially-queeny "girlfriend", or whether Latin machismo inherent in the language rules out the gender modification. It might not sound right to me, but my Spanish is piss-poor. Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:On the topic of Afghans and quotations/common phrases relating to Islam in Bad Seafood's story, speaking in Arabic is on the money. Some Afghan men were sentenced to 20 years in prison for translations that did not include the Arabic alongside the other languages, so keeping the original text--along with knowing it--is considered very important. Good to know; thanks for chiming in -- I was scratching my head over that, as I've run across a few stories set in Afghanistan written by people who've never been there, which have the locals speaking speaking exclusively in Arabic. I knew that wasn't what Bad Seafood was going for, so I'm glad to hear that it's correct as-is.
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Aug 28, 2012 08:13
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