Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«86 »
  • Post
  • Reply
Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.


Just shooting the poo poo 'til our winner graces us.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Jeza posted:

Just shooting the poo poo 'til our winner graces us.

Obvs. I just like emptyquoting and since it's my own thread I do it when I feel moved to.

Fanks hasn't gotten in touch with me yet, but it's gonna be a horror prompt by my executive decision. It is Halloween week after all. I'll let her come up with a cool twist on it.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Martello posted:

Obvs. I just like emptyquoting and since it's my own thread I do it when I feel moved to.

Fanks hasn't gotten in touch with me yet, but it's gonna be a horror prompt by my executive decision. It is Halloween week after all. I'll let her come up with a cool twist on it.

Can it be spooky Thunderdome judge fan fiction? I've always wanted to write a fanfic. I've already got a few good passages in mind for Martello's biceps.

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


Jeza posted:

Black Griffon

+ve - Actually manages to characterise and make me hate somebody sub-300
Poetry, woo.
Final stanza adds a new sinister level to the already unsettling air of the poem.
Nice dancing metaphor.
Effective line-breaks.

-ve - Not a fan of randomly missing punctuation.
Don't see the point in the random bit about Henning Mankell.
Motherfucking LATE AS BALLS. Dates are expendable, Thunderdome is forever. Priorities, man.

Martello posted:

"Creative Soul"

by Black Griffon

This is really loving sinister, dude. Sinister in a very mundane, everyday way that makes it that much more awful. I also liked that you went with a freeverse poem, too. Really, if you hadn't submitted late, this could have been the winner, although that would have made choosing between yours and Fanky's very difficult.

Sitting Here posted:

Black Griffon-Creative soul
Ballsy to use free verse this week, and I like balls. It's effective, if a little distant. Not your worst, not your best, you get a solid "decent" from this judge.

Well, this feedback makes me very happy, even if I didn't win.

Also, priorities? She lifts, so at least Martello should approve of me not giving any fucks about being late.

And lastly: Heh, balls.

Bear Sleuth
Jul 17, 2011



Noah posted:

Enough dickthumping about your stupid degrees, get with a new prompt.

This week's prompt: write about your english lit degree and also how much you lift. 5000 words.


Martello posted:

I can't pick it as winner because I don't hate the protagonist. I love the protagonist! I want to be friends with him.

Yeah, I was afraid that would happen. But I knew there'd be a lot of surprise sex, baby eating, and other serious business this week so I wanted to do something fun and lighthearted for contrast. Dems the breaks, but I'm glad you guys liked the story.

toanoradian
May 30, 2011

The happiest waffligator


Sitting Here posted:

I've already got a few good passages in mind for Martello's biceps.

Someone got a crush

The next episode of Thunderdomes of our Lives is gonna be so amazing, what with all these crushing.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

toanoradian posted:

Someone got a crush

The next episode of Thunderdomes of our Lives is gonna be so amazing, what with all these crushing.

Yep, I want to dress him up in a metal bikini and make him dance for my amusement while you sit cackling on my fat, slug-like tail.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Sitting Here posted:

Can it be spooky Thunderdome judge fan fiction? I've always wanted to write a fanfic. I've already got a few good passages in mind for Martello's biceps.

That would be p. legit. Fanky is tracking her win but she's in class so she'll get back to me later tonight.

Black Griffon posted:

Also, priorities? She lifts, so at least Martello should approve of me not giving any fucks about being late.

And lastly: Heh, balls.

I absolutely approve. Girl biceps

I also recently became involved with a young lady who lifts too so I totes sympathize with the priorities thing. Why do you think it took until today for me to post anything?

Bear Sleuth posted:

This week's prompt: write about your english lit degree and also how much you lift. 5000 words.


Yeah, I was afraid that would happen. But I knew there'd be a lot of surprise sex, baby eating, and other serious business this week so I wanted to do something fun and lighthearted for contrast. Dems the breaks, but I'm glad you guys liked the story.

That prompt would be the best prompt. Might have to use it for a future week. Guess what, motherfucker? You're Judge #4 for this week. Way to cry about how you were trying to make me laugh and be cute and poo poo.

Sitting Here posted:

Yep, I want to dress him up in a metal bikini and make him dance for my amusement while you sit cackling on my fat, slug-like tail.

If I had a metal bikini I would immediately post a self-shot of myself wearing it. But I don't.

Bear Sleuth
Jul 17, 2011



Martello posted:

Guess what, motherfucker? You're Judge #4 for this week. Way to cry about how you were trying to make me laugh and be cute and poo poo.

Cool beans. I should cry about stuff more often.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Martello posted:

If I had a metal bikini I would immediately post a self-shot of myself wearing it. But I don't.

Fanky Malloons
Aug 21, 2010

Is your social worker inside that horse?


Thank you kindly for finally recognizing my literary prowess and making me UNDISPUTED WINNER. Jeza, I forgive you for mistaking my gender, as my giant balls can be quite confusing to the uninitiated. Incidentally, my giant balls are also the reason Martello has a crush on me.

Martello posted:

The one fly in the ointment was you and your name changes in the middle of writing a story - you left one "Martha" in there.

gently caress. I thought I ctrl-F'd them all after realising half-way through that I already used Martha in a previous Thunderdome submission. Can you imagine how good I'd be if I actually paid attention when writing this poo poo?

Also, all of you losers whining about getting a new prompt RIGHT loving NOW are just going to have to hold on to your panties for a while because I was busy. Deal with it, bitches.

Fanky Malloons
Aug 21, 2010

Is your social worker inside that horse?


THUNDERDOME WEEK XIII

As the smoke clears and the bloodstains from the most recent battle get raked back into the sandy floor of the 'dome, the battle scarred winner emerges from the shadows. Biceps rippling, face stylishly streaked with the blood of her opponents, she throws back her head and howls at the moon.

Sup bitches?

This week's prompt, as demanded by Martello is horror

Pfft, you say, that's child's play, you say.

Well, the caveat, demanded by me, is that you are banned from using a supernatural or magical source. The horror must come from something grounded in reality/nature/the real world. That means no zombies, vampires, werewolves, or any other bullshit of that nature.

Word stinkyhole: STRICT LIMIT of 1400. You will be punished for going over.

BONUS POINTS if anyone happens to write a story featuring my secret desired subject matter. That subject matter is not fan fiction, FYI Sitting Here.

Your beautiful and sexy judges this week (in order of beauty and raw sex appeal) are:
Me (obviously)






Martello
Jeza (I think?)
Bear Sleuth (belated congratulations!)



Sign-up Deadline: Friday, Nov 2nd 11:59pm EST
Submission Deadline Saturday, Nov 3rd 11:59pm EST

Get to it

Sacrifices to the Blood God Participants:
Sitting Here - SUBMITTED OVER WORDCUNT
Toanoradian - A Malloonatic Submission.
Canadian Surf Club - SUBMITTED A BEATING.
Chairchucker - SUBMITTED (Alas.)
Omniphile - DEAD TO ME.
WHR 49.5 - DEAD TO ME (Worse than Chairchucker)
Baggy_Brad - MEGASUBMITTED.
Noah - DEAD TO ME. REDEEMED.
Jeza - Submitted a drunk, muscle-rage lasagna
Black Griffon - DEAD TO ME. REDEEMED.
Slothmonster - SUBMITTED.
Swinemaster - SUBMITTED.
Toaster Beef - SUBMITTED. TWO TIMES, WHAT.
Capntastic - SUBMITTED.
Kleptobot - SUBMITTED WITH THANKS

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Fanky Malloons posted:

BONUS POINTS if anyone happens to write a story featuring my secret desired subject matter. That subject matter is not fan fiction, FYI Sitting Here.


OK but that's not a definite "no" on the fanfiction, am I right?

Also, in. Gotta get back to my judge's seat before your skinny asses let it get too cold.

toanoradian
May 30, 2011

The happiest waffligator


I can't write creepy stuff! I've never consumed anything from the horror genre, in any medium! I hid a Goosebumps book in the bottom drawers just so I won't accidentally open it and get scared by the cover!

What I'm saying is that I'm in.

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

I have a secret mission to go on for the Robot Pope, so I'mma sit this one out. Come see me in my stylishly neon-lit lair though.

Canadian Surf Club
Feb 15, 2008

Word.


Put me in for this, going to dig deep for this theme

Chairchucker
Nov 14, 2006

The man was stunningly well dressed. He had a smart looking jacket, and a really neat looking cape, the lining of which was shimmering and sparkling in more than Oriental splendour, which is a great deal of splendour indeed, just ask Kipling.

I'm in and I'm gonna be bad at horror, maybe I'll even submit before the deadline this time, who knows?

Omniphile
Apr 5, 2010

ANIKI!!


As the crown of gizzards duly allotted to Thunderdome Loser was snatched from me by Jesus himself, I shall fight again.

WHR 49.5
Oct 21, 2012




Count me in.

Baggy_Brad
Jun 8, 2003

THUNDERDOME LOSER

I'm in.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Fanky Malloons posted:

Incidentally, my giant balls are also the reason Martello has a crush on me.

This is 100% true.

Fanky Malloons posted:

Word stinkyhole: STRICT LIMIT of 1400. You will be punished for going over.

Finally, someone else spells it correctly.

quote:

Your beautiful and sexy judges this week (in order of beauty and raw sex appeal) are:
Me (obviously)






Martello
Jeza (I think?)
Bear Sleuth (belated congratulations!)

It took me a little while to figure out what you were doing with that giant space. Nice.

Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch


I'm in.

Fanky Malloons
Aug 21, 2010

Is your social worker inside that horse?


Martello posted:

It took me a little while to figure out what you were doing with that giant space. Nice.

I must say, I was tempted to leave the rest of you out entirely, but then that would have made no sense.

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.


Might do a 'sebmojo' and enter, on top of being a judge. Because gently caress you, that's why

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

Jeza posted:

Might do a 'sebmojo' and enter, on top of being a judge. Because gently caress you, that's why

IT IS THE ONLY HONOURABLE COURSE OF ACTION

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


I was doing that poo poo long before sebmojo ever won and got to wear a judge's crown.

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


Hey hey hey hey.

Thunderdome everyday.

(In)

Bear Sleuth
Jul 17, 2011



Fanky Malloons posted:

BONUS POINTS if anyone happens to write a story featuring my secret desired subject matter.

Yes, yes. Secret bonus points. This round will be like hats but more broad and less stupid.

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

Martello posted:

I was doing that poo poo long before sebmojo ever won and got to wear a judge's crown.

Yeah yeah, past glories, you're amazing.

Shouldn't you be toxxing yourself for November or something? HmmmmMMMMmmmm?

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


shut up mom i'm trying to watch venture bros stop yelling at me

Chairchucker
Nov 14, 2006

The man was stunningly well dressed. He had a smart looking jacket, and a really neat looking cape, the lining of which was shimmering and sparkling in more than Oriental splendour, which is a great deal of splendour indeed, just ask Kipling.

Horror!

It's Halloween here now, so whatevs, here it is.

It was all a (Teenage) Dream

Violet was outrageously excited. She’d missed Maiden the last time they’d toured, as she’d been seven at the time and her mother had been reluctant to let him go on his own. Violet had tried to convince her to go as well, but it had been on the same night as the finals of her social netball match, and her commitment to the team had to come first. This time though, she’d just turned seventeen, and after some reluctance her mother had agreed that she could go by herself,* as long as she agreed not to partake in any satanic rituals that her mother had heard might occur at such a gathering. She’d managed to secure a spot only ten metres from the stage. She was being jostled somewhat roughly by the crowd, but she didn’t care, because she was about to see Maiden. It was gonna be so righteous.

A rather vigorous sway went through the crowd, and Violet fell over, scraping her knees slightly. She got up right away, though – she was helped to her feet by some young girls. Obviously their mothers didn’t mind them going out by themselves. Even on a school night. Thanking them, she dusted herself off, then hearing the opening riff of a song – although not one she recognised – she quickly turned to the stage.

It took a moment before Violet realised she did in fact recognise the song after all. It just wasn’t a Maiden song. Some girl was singing about something tasting like a cherry chap stick. What is a chap stick anyway? No metal singer ever wrote a song about a chap stick. She must’ve gone to the wrong venue! She looked around desperately at the hordes of girls, and the occasional boy who was either clinging onto some girl’s waist or hoisting a girl up on his shoulders to show off how manly he was and possibly earn a bit of a pash later on their front porch as he nervously dropped her off.

As everyone around her sang along passionately about a brief quasi-lesbian experience they’d once had, Violet turned to a guy nearby who didn’t appear to be trying to make out with any of the nearby girls and shouted “What the deuce is this nonsense? Where’s Maiden?”

“Didn’t you hear?” he replied. “Maiden cancelled. Katy Perry, or K Po as I like to call her, graciously filled their spot in the schedule.”

“OK,” shouted Violet “firstly, that’s a dumb nickname and makes no sense. And secondly, this is totally bogus. I’ve gotta get out of here!”

He shrugged. “It’s pretty packed, might be hard to move. You could always try to crowd surf out. Here, I’ll boost you.”

“OK, but watch the hands.” He boosted her up. He accidentally grabbed her butt on the way up, but then she accidentally elbowed him in the face quite hard, thus discouraging any further accidents. Unfortunately, she seemed to be surfing the wrong way. On a raging sea of swaying people, she was carried in the rip up towards the front of the stage, and the sound of K Po warbling that she hoped her boyfriend wouldn’t mind too much grew increasingly louder.

As she reached the barrier separating the crowd from the stage, a large man with ‘Security’ written on his shirt pulled her down, pointing to a nearby sign with a picture of a surfer on a sea of hands with a red cross through it. Violet sensed an opportunity. “What’re you gonna do about it, kick me out?” she yelled.

“Don’t tempt me.” Somehow, Security didn’t need to shout. He just opened up his mouth and his voice filled the air. “But no, no one goes out now that we’ve started. You’ll just have to stay here where I can keep an eye on you.”

“No one goes out? That’s ridiculous!”

Security shrugged. “We’re making history here; K Po is going to perform the longest concert ever. The people from Guinness World Records are here and everything.”

The colour drained from Violet’s face. “The longest concert ever? What’s the current record?”

“Some Canadian guy’s got it at twenty seven hours or so, and Canada have been lording it over us ever since. Thankfully K Po’s on hand to sort them Canucks out.”

“Does she even have twenty seven hours of material?”

Security shrugged. “I guess they’ll do slightly longer versions of some of the songs. Only twenty six hours and fifty eight minutes to go, and she still looks strong!”

Violet considered the prospect of a twenty seven hour K Po concert, and after this short deliberation, kicked Security in the testicles quite firmly and ran away. Security doubled over and clutched at his manhood, tears coming to his eyes.

Violet ran along the barrier, hoping to find some avenue of escape, but the barriers were quite high, and it slowly dawned on her that she was just running in a wide circle around the stage. Furthermore, she was approaching some more Security. She tried to scramble over the barrier, but the crowd were quite mindful of the rules regarding barriers, and pushed her back. As the Security with the bruised testicles slowly caught up, and the other Security closed in, she collapsed to the ground and started crying. Through her tears, she said “I just… don’t think I can possibly sit through even one more hour of K Po.”

“Well, look who’s back in the land of the living.” Violet opened her eyes and a concerned face looked down at her.

“What happened?”

“You fell into the mosh pit and were quite violently trampled. You broke several ribs and one of them punctured your lung.”

“And this was at a Maiden concert?”

“Yes. By the way, you no longer have a spleen. It was irrevocably damaged and we had to remove it.”

Violet was barely listening. “Thank you, sweet merciful baby Zeus.”

“Also, it’ll be about six months before you’re able to eat solids. There is good news, though!”

“Oh?” Violet was not paying much attention. Her mind was on ice cream. That was something people got to eat in hospital, right?

“You have a very special visitor! Iron Maiden wanted to be here in person to cheer you up, but due to the satanic rituals they are suspected of vaguely encouraging in unspecified ways, they weren’t welcome in the country for longer than it took to perform their tour. Fortunately, K Po decided to fill in for them!”

Violet tried to scream, but passed out from the effort.




*She would’ve accompanied her, but she had a Tupperware party, and the host was one of those old friends who she didn’t really have anything in common with anymore, but she felt that she had to support her weird hobbies because that was what old friends do.

slothmonster
Sep 28, 2009

Mashed keyboard to write about a woman getting murdered rather than potatoes. WTF

THUNDERDOME

Sitting Here posted:


slothmonster-Work to do.
This veers close to breaking my edict against things that make me hate the author and not the character. I like writing that is abrasive, I like writing that is gratuitous, but this kind of goes too far in that direction with no real payoff for the reader. Bad people are bad, then more bad things happen.

Yeah the sory was kind of pointless, I was gonna do a revenge style story but decided to go the other way and have Donnie come out on top to add that extra level of "Hate" for him. I agree it might have been a bit too much, lying in bed the night I wrote it I kind of grappled wIith what the gently caress I was going for and if I even should submit it, In retrospect I'm OK with it though.

Martello posted:


"Work to Do"

by slothmonster

Punchy as gently caress, and kinda fun for a sadistic Mafia romp, but you really need to work on your craft, dude. Line breaks between sentences, and work on that syntax and punctuation. The characters were cartoony, but I'm assuming you meant them to be that way. I still hated Donnie so that worked. Work harder on this poo poo, bro, and give us something better next time.

Thanks for the positive comments and I agree I really need to figure out how to write properly, I might as well have not even gone to High School because all I learned was how to be a drug addict and a drop out so I'm learning all the rules and stuff as I go.

Jeza posted:

slothmonster

+ve - Actually attempting to stick to the prompt.
Some rather good use of imagery at points.
Insufflated.
Frankie B/Christmas Tree rhyme.

-ve - Hulk-One/Two device tends to come off as amateurish.
Don't use caps as a cheapshot to come across as anger.
The context in the story is poor to non-existent. This makes it confusing to read.
Too many characters for 1.2k words.

All very fair critiques, I wrestled with giving the Hulk characters names but in the end laziness won out, I wasn't crazy about the caps either but again laziness.

Also count me in for the new prompt, I need to write more and often.

The Swinemaster
Dec 28, 2005



Imma' scare you, chump. (in)

Fanky Malloons
Aug 21, 2010

Is your social worker inside that horse?



This is terrible and you are terrible. Horrifying, even. But in the worst possible way.

I encourage everyone to incubate their stories for a while before posting them. Are your babies truly ready to be spawned at this early stage of the game?

Also, no footnotes allowed from here on out. If it's too much of an aside to go right in the body of the text, then it's too much of an aside to be there at all and you should just get rid of it

Chairchucker
Nov 14, 2006

The man was stunningly well dressed. He had a smart looking jacket, and a really neat looking cape, the lining of which was shimmering and sparkling in more than Oriental splendour, which is a great deal of splendour indeed, just ask Kipling.

Fanky Malloons posted:



Also, no footnotes allowed from here on out. If it's too much of an aside to go right in the body of the text, then it's too much of an aside to be there at all and you should just get rid of it

This is a terrible rule and you are terrible.

toanoradian
May 30, 2011

The happiest waffligator


Chairchucker posted:

This is a terrible rule and you are terrible.

Do you disagree with her ruling? Win this week and overturn it. That is how Thunderdomes work. Only winners matter.

If I win my next prompt shall be 'run footnotes to the ground'.

Chairchucker
Nov 14, 2006

The man was stunningly well dressed. He had a smart looking jacket, and a really neat looking cape, the lining of which was shimmering and sparkling in more than Oriental splendour, which is a great deal of splendour indeed, just ask Kipling.

toanoradian posted:

Do you disagree with her ruling? Win this week and overturn it.

Something about her post makes me think this may not happen this week, but I cannot put my finger on it.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.


Next week will be Chairchucker fanfiction week.

Chairchucker
Nov 14, 2006

The man was stunningly well dressed. He had a smart looking jacket, and a really neat looking cape, the lining of which was shimmering and sparkling in more than Oriental splendour, which is a great deal of splendour indeed, just ask Kipling.

Any story without someone throwing furniture at someone else: instant DQ.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

toanoradian
May 30, 2011

The happiest waffligator


Chairchucker posted:

Something about her post makes me think this may not happen this week, but I cannot put my finger on it.

Who knows, maybe Fanky Malloons might be one of those anime thunder ray things. You know, those stereotypes who hides affection beneath several layers of fake resentment and denial?

A Malloonatic, if you will

  • Post
  • Reply
«86 »