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My source is here. Not the most trustworthy place of info but no, you weren't reading too deeply into that subtext.
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Aug 28, 2012 08:40
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budgieinspector posted:
Yeah this one. budgieinspector posted:
Hey, there was not one single kangaroo in my story, this was a challenge! budgieinspector posted:stuck in the '70s It was supposed to be set then as well. Or thereabouts. budgieinspector posted:FINAL SCORE: durian Durians are good, right?
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Aug 28, 2012 09:34
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for ignoring the "off-the-beaten-path" prompt.
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budgieinspector posted:
budgieinspector posted:Gonna need a Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:On the topic of Afghans and quotations/common phrases relating to Islam in Bad Seafood's story, speaking in Arabic is on the money. Some Afghan men were sentenced to 20 years in prison for translations that did not include the Arabic alongside the other languages, so keeping the original text--along with knowing it--is considered very important. Most of the Arabic salted and peppered throughout my story are short prayers and expressions ("Fee amaan Allah," for instance, is something you say to someone you won't be seeing again for a long time), so they'd pop up a lot in local usage. Even if you were illiterate, you'd hear them enough to get the gist of it. “Inna lillahe wa inna ilaihe raajeoon,” is said at funerals, receiving bad news, and looking for lost things. “Jazakallaho ahsanal jaza,” is a thank you. "Assalamo alaikum wa rahmatullahe wa barakatohu," is a greeting. "Wa alaikum salaam," is the reply to the above greeting. "Alhamdo lillah," is an expression of appreciation, typically to Allah. “Astaghferullah,” is an accepted shortening of a longer prayer, "Astaghferullaha Rabbi min kulle zumbin wa atoobo ileh," which is a request for forgiveness. Also, Isam is a unisex name.  budgieinspector posted:FINAL SCORE: grape leaves
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Aug 28, 2012 12:05
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for butterfly bombs
or a
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budgieinspector posted:
This has been kinda answered already, but - Pashto and Dari translations are almost nonexistent, and the average Afghan does not read Arabic. It's like Medieval Europe where the clergy are some of the few who can read the holy book and thus control all interpretation and dissemination of the state religion. Likelyhood of a street urchin reading Arabic is almost nil. Remembering quotes taught in a madrassa, maybe. 
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Aug 28, 2012 12:16
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I'm in for the moon one.
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Aug 28, 2012 14:55
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HiddenGecko posted:You must declare your intention to compete by 7PM EST by tommorow, Tuesday.
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Aug 28, 2012 15:23
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toanoradian posted:I think you misspelled something here. Judge sass never helped anyone do anything 
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Aug 28, 2012 15:27
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budgieinspector posted:
I'm ok with hominy. The dealer wasn't white though  Question, if I may: Why not assume the other male character (Old Jay) was white? I didn't describe either person's appearance much beyond things the character would pay attention to, so what was it that evoked the image of a dealer as a white guy?But lest I sound ungrateful, I lay myself prostrate before the Thunderdome and thank you for delivering me unto pain, that it might liberate me from lovely writing. 
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Aug 28, 2012 18:19
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for choosing the Hard Luck Harry path, rather than the straight-up cop/criminal/P.I. one.
-- do my eyes deceive me, or is the dealer a cisgendered, able-bodied, hetero, white American male?
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toanoradian posted:I think you misspelled something here. I read that over a few times and I didn't see anything misspelled. Which means you're giving me bad editing advice. The proper thing to call me out for in that example was my poor use of "by" and the general clunkiness of the sentence, not a misspelling. Because you can't pay attention to details when you're calling me out I'm giving you a very specific punishment. One that'll force you to pay attention to details. You're not allowed to use commas in your entry. Not one. Not in the dialog. Not in the title. None. And then I read it again and realized I misspelled tomorrow. Your punishment still stands.
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Aug 28, 2012 18:24
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Sitting Here posted:The dealer wasn't white though Hence the reason I phrased it as a question. The dialect straddles the line into redneck/Southwest, and my understanding is that Colorado Springs is hugely honkified. But rather than assume, I asked. quote:Question, if I may: Why not assume the other male character (Old Jay) was white? It's more that I didn't have any particular reason to assume he was straight or able-bodied, whereas there were plenty of indications that the dealer was both.
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Aug 28, 2012 18:40
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areyoucontagious posted:Judge sass never helped anyone do anything Or earlier sometimes, even. HiddenGecko posted:And then I read it again and realized I misspelled tomorrow. And "Weeks" instead of "Week's." And you didn't capitalize Stanislaw Lem. And you never return my phone calls anymore.
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Aug 28, 2012 19:19
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It's like people are just itching to get the tar beaten out of them and be burdened with extra rules. It's some sort of writing S&M going on in here.
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Aug 28, 2012 19:23
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Normally I'm able to get words down on paper for these things immediately (they aren't good words, but words nonetheless), but now that I'm on a slightly shorter deadline I have immense writer's block. gently caress it, this is THUNDERDOME! I WILL WRITE SOMETHING IF IT KILLS ME
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Aug 28, 2012 19:26
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Entering.
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Aug 28, 2012 20:17
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I have a question regarding the physics limitation. Obviously things like teleportation and FTL travel is completely physics-breaking, but what if I want to have removal of an artifact from the surface of the moon cause a disruption in the lunar orbit? Is that considered breaking the laws of physics? It feels like it, but maybe I'm wrong?
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Aug 28, 2012 20:23
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areyoucontagious posted:I have a question regarding the physics limitation. Obviously things like teleportation and FTL travel is completely physics-breaking, but what if I want to have removal of an artifact from the surface of the moon cause a disruption in the lunar orbit? Is that considered breaking the laws of physics? It feels like it, but maybe I'm wrong? The idea is that ya'll will do research and stretch yourself. With that, you might want to look up the mass of the moon and see just how much energy it would require to displace it a significant amount. Hint: a loving lot.
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Aug 28, 2012 20:55
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Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:The idea is that ya'll will do research and stretch yourself. With that, you might want to look up the mass of the moon and see just how much energy it would require to displace it a significant amount. Hint: a loving lot. Yeah I know I was just being optimistic. I wanted a magical moon wizard to cast a spell and slam the moon into the surface of the earth.
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Aug 28, 2012 20:58
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areyoucontagious posted:Yeah I know I'll have to speak with the other judges, but it might be allowed if it were Ronnie James Dio riding a space dragon who slams the moon out of orbit with the power of his sick riffs. We'd still expect you to calculate the masses and forces required for all of that to happen (show your work) and include it as an annex to the story.
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Aug 28, 2012 21:02
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I guess the punishment will tech me not to try my luck with the judges' spelling. The next time the judges misspell (assuming such events will ever happen again) I shall assume the personality of a meek friend reading someone's Sailor Moon fanfic. Am I still allowed to use the word 'comma'?
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Aug 28, 2012 21:36
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toanoradian posted:I guess the punishment will tech me not to try my luck with the judges' spelling. The next time the judges misspell (assuming such events will ever happen again) I shall assume the personality of a meek friend reading someone's Sailor Moon fanfic. Yes. But with care.
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Aug 28, 2012 21:59
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budgieinspector posted:Hence the reason I phrased it as a question. The dialect straddles the line into redneck/Southwest, and my understanding is that Colorado Springs is hugely honkified. But rather than assume, I asked. Ah, I see. As for Colorado Springs, I chose it in particular because of acquaintances who've lived there and had somewhat similar dealings. I was thinking of a location that was kind of between the cracks. The dialect in those areas in my personal experience tends to be a mix of things, kind of a stew of slang and mannerisms from different backgrounds brought together by class. Colorado Springs is pretty honkified, as you say, but there are definitely areas where that is not the case. Like most cities, I guess. But here I am writing all these words that aren't my next entry. For shame.
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Aug 28, 2012 22:15
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Sitting Here posted:But here I am writing all these words that aren't my next entry. For shame. Indeed.
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Aug 28, 2012 22:15
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Death is listening, and he'll take the first man that screams. I'm not screaming, I'm in.
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Aug 28, 2012 22:19
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Bad Seafood posted:You also wrote "Were" instead of "Mere." Hrm. These are all excellent, accurate points. They demonstrate a tidy and organised mind. So I am sure you will have no problem making 'nitpicking rear end in a top hat' the 114th and 115th words in your story.
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Aug 28, 2012 22:29
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I am in.
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Aug 28, 2012 23:04
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Just to clarify, I'm not in this week. I'm moving cross-country* and I've got to get all my poo poo in order. *yes I know my country is small. It's still like moving from New York to Chicago.
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Aug 28, 2012 23:33
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It's seven O'clock, according to my computer. That means that we will be extending the application deadline till tomorrow at 12pm EST. Get in or get bent.
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Aug 29, 2012 00:00
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:Just to clarify, I'm not in this week. I'm moving cross-country* and I've got to get all my poo poo in order. I will permit the case-hardened steel surface of my judge mask to flex for a moment to register sincere disappointment. ... Okay that was it. Back to writing, peons. Where are you heading - Auckland?
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Aug 29, 2012 01:31
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Christ can't you worthless pieces of poo poo use PMs? Thank your new judges for pissing me off right now with black bars on my screen. Expect a paradigm shift this round.
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Aug 29, 2012 02:07
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Moon Beez The Earth floated in the blackness above Jongle and Krunch like the eye of a deep sea fish. Jongle and Krunch were human janitors working at the last amusement park on the moon and they were sitting on a bench smoking electronic cigarettes. “I’m glad tourist season is over,” remarked Jongle. “Same here. I’m looking forward to finally going back home, these 6 month shifts are hell,” said Krunch. The two stared at the Earth through the double thick polyplastic windows that made up the roof of the Garden District of the amusement park, which was named Moon Base Zoom, or as the younger generation liked to call it, Moon Beez. Winking lights of transport crafts propelled from the Shuttle Bay to Earth as employees of Moon Beez clocked out and went home for the long off season. “Sometimes I forget what it’s like back on Earth,” said Krunch. “When I get back, everything seems so foreign. Every time you look up at the Earth from here, it’s like a painting, never moving, never changing, but when you get back, everything is different.” “And then 6 months go by and you finally feel comfortable again, and then you’re back on the moon, dreading going back home.” “Well, I wouldn’t worry about coming back here again,” said Krunch. “Oh?” “Moon Beez is Moon broke.” “I guess I’m not that surprised. It’s gotten slower and slower every season. No one likes the Moon anymore. Mars, everyone loves Mars. And Mars’ moons. It’s got two you know,” said Jongle. “Yes, I did know that,” said Krunch. Shuttle after shuttle blinked into the darkness away from the Moon. Ride attendants, concession standers, management and mascots all floating back to Earth. “I feel like I’m under water,” said Jongle. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Moon Beez has been the only reliable thing in my life. 6 month’s stipend won’t get you peanuts on Mars, but boy it’ll buy you a nice lady and a strong drink back home.” “I’d prefer a stronger drink and a nasty lady, if you know what I mean,” said Jongle. The two laughed and took deep drags on their electronic cigarettes. A robot on a track, Moon Base Zoom was lousy with them, wheeled next to them, its blocky body turning to face them with its giant, red orb of an eye. “ATTENTION PATRONS AND STAFF,” it buzzed, “the park is now closed. Please continue towards the nearest exit shuttle and prepare your departure. The park is now closed. Thank you for your patronage and loyalty. Do not forget to purchase your discounted return admission coupon at any one of the kiosks located by the Shuttle Bay.” The robot wheeled away on its track, making turns at right angles along the walkways and repeating its line at a mannequin standing next to a map and directory. “That’s a dirty trick,” said Jongle. “Welcome to Moon Beez.” “No more cleaning out condoms in the Lunar Love Tunnel,” Jongle sighed. “No more Zany Zoom barf bags, Crater Crab infestations, Asteroid ‘Amburgers or Solar Slurpee spills.” “You say that like it’s a bad thing,” laughed Krunch. “It’s not like Earth is gonna be that much better,” said Jongle, fidgeting in his seat, “I read the Pac-Atlantic rose again, Latin America officially doesn’t exist.” “Yeah but we’ll have at least 6 months to find new jobs. With our experience, I’m sure we could get a gig on Mars, maybe even one of those new Satellite Islands around Venus. Wouldn’t that be nice?” “That’s not the point. As much as I say I don’t want to come back for another stint, it was reliable. I didn’t have to think. Comfortable,” said Jongle. Another robot, maybe even the first one on a second lap, wheeled up to them. “ATTENTION PATRONS AND STAFF,” the harsh tones repeated. Just like last time it transitioned into a softer, feminine voice, “The park is now closed. Please continue towards the nearest exit shuttle and prepare for departure. The park is now closed. Automated gravity and oxygen generation will cease to function in thirty minutes. The park is now closed, thank you for your patronage and loyalty.” “That’s new,” said Krunch. “I guess they really are shutting down for good,” said Jongle. “Never heard of them turning off all the gravity and oxygen. What about all the Moon mice?” “Probably better than getting eaten by all those Moon cats,” said Krunch. “No one appreciates the Moon anymore. You remember when we were kids and you could just look up into the sky, and glowing like the glass eye of God, there it was. This huge thing, unfathomable, yet so unremarkable and mundane that you wouldn’t even notice for a couple of nights if it suddenly went away. Where did all the magic go?” “You’re wrong. The magic didn’t go anywhere, it never existed. All the Moon is, is some big piece of commercial real estate. All it ever really was. The Americans had to get here first to beat the Russians and claim squatters rights or it wasn’t worth anything anymore. Now it’s a poor mans vacation spot because everywhere else is newer. It’s why Disney Land sucked, it’s why Zoombini World sucked, and now it’s why the Moon sucks,” said Krunch. “That’s not true,” said Jongle. He lowered his head and stared at the ground. His dustpan and broom leaned next to him against the bench. For a third time a robot wheeled up to them. “ATTENTION PATRONS AND STAFF,” but before it could finish Jongle stood and delivered a vicious kick to its red orb. The robot teetered back and forth in its track, let loose a spark or two, and whizzed away. “Well, it’s about that time. I bet they left some moon pies over at the concession stand we could steal,” said Krunch. “You go ahead,” smiled Jongle, “I’d like to be the last man on the moon. At least for a few minutes.” edit: I realized I had a hyphenated word in there, which would gently caress up the word count. The word count has been fixed, but if that DQs me, so it goes.
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Aug 29, 2012 02:30
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sebmojo posted:Where are you heading - Auckland?
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Aug 29, 2012 02:58
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I just got back from the land of no internet. Thanks to the extension, I can say that I am in for this week as well.Martello posted:Well done, sebmojo! Belated congratulations to Sebmojo as well. Thanks to the judges for the awesome prompt, and thanks to everyone else for the great stories. I am very happy that Martello liked my story, and he and budgieinspector are absolutely correct about the size of that plot hole. I like the story enough to try and rework it though. Alright, that's enough being nice--My moon story is going to kick everyone's asses as soon as I get an idea.
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Aug 29, 2012 03:02
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I had a hyphenated word in my story, which would push that to 1,001 words. I changed that to preserve the 1,000 word count, but posting to own up to my misdeeds. If this DQs me, I'd prefer to be up front and honest about it.
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Aug 29, 2012 04:35
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Noah posted:I had a hyphenated word in my story, which would push that to 1,001 words. I changed that to preserve the 1,000 word count, but posting to own up to my misdeeds. If this DQs me, I'd prefer to be up front and honest about it. I get 1038 > : (
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Aug 29, 2012 04:39
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I got 1000 on my word count machine. As the instigator of the 1000 word rule, my decisions are final.  And that is the last word count talk we will hear. Bust a deal, face the wheel. That is all you need to know.
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Aug 29, 2012 05:35
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toanoradian posted:I guess the punishment will tech me not to try my luck with the judges' spelling. The next time the judges misspell (assuming such events will ever happen again) I shall assume the personality of a meek friend reading someone's Sailor Moon fanfic. Just use lots of semi-colons, those little guys rule. I might as well toss my figurative hat into the ring on this one if applications are still open, I mean how much worse could my punishment be for being awful again? EDIT: My new avatar is much like my old one...
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Aug 29, 2012 07:53
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Paradigm shift: I am adding this to the prompt. In honor of my NZ friends here, I require the following. Change your stories accordingly. It must have a haka with the passion behind the video I'm going to post. The whole story must have that passion. Not the language, but that pulled from the gut rage. Put your guts into it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI6TRTBZUMM
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Aug 29, 2012 08:02
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Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:Paradigm shift: I am adding this to the prompt. In honor of my NZ friends here, I require the following. Change your stories accordingly. It must have a haka with the passion behind the video I'm going to post. The whole story must have that passion. Not the language, but that pulled from the gut rage. Put your guts into it. Noah gets a pass for not foreseeing the future, this time. Everyone else; 'Haka' can be interpreted liberally. Passion cannot.
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Aug 29, 2012 08:40
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The other judges want to wreck your poo poo as a passion. So I'll be the nice one. Noah is free to re-edit his story to include the parameters. I'd like to see that fire now, Noah, so you get a one-time, special, not to be repeated pass to edit your story to fit the parameters and make it awesome pass. You only get one edit, though. I'm watching. "Noah hosed around with this message at Aug 29, 2012 around 03:34" The rest of you, read up on what a haka really is. Interpret it as you will, and make us want to scream and hit our chests with your characters. To make it clearer to the dumber folks, I want to read this emotion:  in your story. Scream until it breaks your jaw. At least one human, weak, real moment. You have all the prompt you could possibly use for that and more. No stupid-rear end bleep bloop stories of things happening then sad thing happens and it ends. I want blood, sweat, and tears. Give it to me so you can give it to yourselves. That's true. Listen to him. vvv
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Aug 29, 2012 09:19
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The thing the All Blacks do before a game is often erroneously referred to as the haka when it is in fact a haka. Make of that what you will.
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Aug 29, 2012 09:26
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