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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:On the contrary, I think their mercy is used up. There's only so much they've got per week and the extension burnt it all away. Be afraid. Never mistake tactical allowances for mercy.
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Aug 27, 2012 01:38
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 04:34 |
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Anyone ready to hear the final outcomes? We've got a big ole tasty result dangling from a string right above you. All you gotta do is jump up and get it.
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Aug 27, 2012 02:25
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kangaroojunk posted:Nah, we don't want yer darn results. Results now delayed until the sting from this comment goes away. My feelings are hurt, and I need time for the wound to heal. Feel free to thank your comrade for freeing you from the burden of immediate gratification. Ignorance is bliss, knowledge is burden, obedience is freedom.
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Aug 27, 2012 02:54
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So, first we'll start with the news: Stuporstar is currently ascending Mt. Fuji seeking a higher plane of existence, and she has stated that she has "brought a Pringles can, a 9V battery, and some wire" to attempt contact with her home planet, but it should also work for the occasional post here, so we can look forward to that this week. Coincidentally, Martello was walking down the street and was lured by the scent of Soppressata into a raccoon trap and will be on display at the Children's petting exhibit at the Bronx Zoo for the foreseeable future. We've filed the paperwork to give him limited internet access and get him released, but he will also not be judging this week. That leaves one gap for a judge this coming week besides the winner and myself. According to the dice I've just rolled, HiddenGecko will be the temporary replacement. Now, on to the winners: For exemplary service as a maritime knitter, sebmojo is awarded this week's win. For having urinated in the corner while repeating the phrase, "I'm not drunk, bro" at a house party, Chairchucker shall be doing the walk of shame as this week's loser. sebmojo: Tell us how you'd like to communicate. Chairchucker: Await your doom.
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Aug 27, 2012 03:35
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These are my comments on all ya'll stories. Enjoy. Bodnoirbabe - "Control Within" I like to imagine what you were doing in week two--downing small cubes of mozzarella cheese as you scrolled down the thread. Over time, your stomach bulged with a lactose pregnancy. By the time Week 3 arrived, your mind shivered with bead-sweat fever dreams, the masticated and acid-worn ball of browning curds pounding at the back door until, finally, you birthed an extruded pipe that coiled (or, at least, I like to think) into the crude facsimile of The Venus de Milo. Looking upon your labors, o-ring whistling in the wind, you knew your work was not done and thus set about carefully sculpting this mass into a more perfect form of that gave true representation to that mental image that brewed from the belly up into your mind. Tirelessly slaving, the work never felt completed, and in a fit of despair, you smashed the fecal wonder with a page, scanned it into your computer, and posted what symbols it had divined from the smears into this thread. Judgment: I hate fanfics. Chairchucker - "I Still Get Paid, Right?" He said "Dame." What a perfect metaphor for the kyriarchy: a gross little white-man Napoleon barking slurs against a real minority, women, and greedily rubbing his tiny, filth-covered paws while he cracks the whip against the back of the unfortunate "low-class" workers of color while shuffling papers and taking all the credit, unabashedly, for their labors in acquiring him more wealth over the death of others. God, I could only be more mad if this was made into a video game. Judgment: I hate small hands. areyoucontagious - "Heart of Darkness" So, you decided as Mr. Mighty Whitey to promote among African men and women smoking and drinking in a region already suffering from lack of education on multiple health issues. I guessing it's because you have money invested in the tobacco and alcohol industries and want to "tap this fresh market" (they're people, you monster) to its fullest extent. Get'm hooked while they're young--yeehaw! I have three pages of tumblr links I will be PMing you shortly that explain how your imperialism is crushing Africa. Judgment: I hate reused titles. Wrageowrapper - "Special Forces: The Case Of Nia'Tufus Head" While I respect your right to use the "R-word" and use special needs characters in your stories, it was specifically mentioned that you should not write about characters that share your personal experience as it's not fair to the other contestants. I've spoken with the judges, and we agreed that this should not be a disqualifying factor as we did not offer assistants to contestants with special needs, and that would have been especially important for this contest. We offer you our most sincere apologies, and we will rectify this situation immediately. Judgment: I hate Wallaby-speak. Seldom Posts - "Gin and Blood" I find it very disturbing that you've found fit to write this blatant hate-piece otherizing an entire class of people. Is it really that difficult for you to realize that alcoholics are people deserving of love and happiness just as much as the rest of humanity? Do you think that alcoholics sit down and make the choice, "Oh, I'm going to be an alcoholic from now on. It sounds great being an ostracized member of society deprived of the same life experiences as others." People don't choose that, and telling them to "just quit" and change themselves because of something they're born with is an awful, cruel answer. Judgment: I hate Rands. As Nero Danced - "No Coming Back" This was a chilling story of how oppressive law enforcement and social pressures force innocent people into lives of crime, but it's telling that you didn't address the Guyanian prison-industrial complex that caused those poor men to be forced into a life of murder. Is this story your way of approving the choices of the upper-crust elites siphoning wealth to the point that they leave the average citizen destitute and incarcerated? Judgment: I hate banks. HiddenGecko - "The Cave Bear and the Lion" What a fantastic animal-gore story you've written here. Your protagonist literally lines his sickening home with the flesh of animals he's murdered, and he does it in excess. This viewpoint on animal rights is, quite frankly, troglodytic. That you could so easily wave flaunt this carnage without even a single thought or by-note regarding the sanctity of life itself is telling of you as a writer and a human being. Judgment: I hate fur. Bad Seafood - "Brittle Butterfly" I just love (irony voice) how your protagonist is too cowardly to come out with xis gender identity to provide a positive example of strength to others who suffer from persecution, thus setting back the rights of everyone. It's really great that you took the time to write all of that out to reinforce in the minds of young people in a troubled region that they should hide their true selves from society. Judgment: I hate smokers. kangaroojunk - "After the Promise" Children are the future, aren't they. That's what everyone says. What about those who can't or won't have children? Do you think they are lesser beings just because they either chose to not reproduce and add to the overpopulation of their species or otherwise can't? I can't see what possessed you to so rabidly push the idea that everyone must produce litters of children. Perhaps you should read into adoption and maybe try encouraging the solution to the problem rather than the cause of it. Namaste. Judgment: I hate maggots. Honey Badger - "Ghost" Carlos Rossi is the very symbol of oppressionist corporatism, slinging vast quantities of cheap ethanol to keep the proletariat drunk and complacent. Your dreams of a future where the poor guzzle gallons of mind-altering dreck while the rich sit atop their towers, looking down on us will not come to pass, and when the revolution comes, you will be the first against the wall. Judgment: I hate Sangria. sebmojo - "Lion, in the rain." Perhaps referring to Thai people as "monkey-footing" is acceptable when you're sitting around with your friends remembering the glory days of the All Blacks, but in civilized conversation, such references are not polite. I've researched your culture extensively through repeated viewings of the documentary Black Sheep, so I don't judge you for the misunderstanding, but I just thought you should be made aware of it. Judgment: I hate uncapitalized titles. Canadian Surf Club - "Inuition" Oh, great. More typical Canadian demonizing of Sikhs as an evil, violent people. Of course it's the Sikh acting as the evil henchman driving a bulldozer over the hopes and dreams of people. You might as well have casted a legion of Sikhs as terrorists looking to detonate a nuclear explosion on the icecaps unless the world ponies up ten billion dollars in gold. Judgment: I hate snow. Noah - "Pineapple Fields" Pro-ana? Really? You decided to write a pro-ana story about your imagined paradise of people starving to death and shooting plumes of feces and vomit until their clothes hang on them "like in a closet"? I expected so much more of you than to encourage people to waste away until they die a painful death, but as we can all clearly see, my expectations and hopes were misplaced. Judgment: I hate trucks. SurreptitiousMuffin - "Bring-your-daughter-to-work day" Sometimes, pauses get pregnant. I bet you think that pause was fat, sweaty, and ugly. You know, you're a total creep. That pause was beautiful and glowing, and if you had just had the presence of mind to use a little protection, maybe that pause wouldn't feel so hurt and abandoned when you freaked out and ran off. Good job, Muffin. REAL good job. Judgment: I hate hyphens. Sitting Here - "Charity Case" I take offense at your obvious bias towards blind people from Veneto. Also, referring to the visually impaired as "blinds" is outlandishly insensitive, and you should feel bad for sinking to those depths. I seem to recall some other people in Italy who only thought about Italy and were rather cruel to people different than them. They were called fascists, Sitting Here. They were fascists. Judgment: I hate pet names. Jonked - "Cracolândia" You mentioned the Gaza Strip in your story, and I think it would be prudent for you to create a thread in GBS so we can discuss this topic in detail. Perhaps through our cooperation on the forum, we can all put our heads together in a reasoned debate to come up with a solution. Please keep us updated on the status of this coming thread. Judgment: I hate accent marks. Autumncomet - "A Newer Generation" Woman on woman violence is a very serious matter that doesn't receive nearly enough attention, and I am very disappointed that you've included it here in such a flippant matter. Statistically, it can happen between women living together as early as the third or fourth date. While you had a platform to address that, you chose not to. Shame. Judgment: I hate fiddling. Capntastic - "Cardboard Wings" Cardboard wings. What a great idea. Not only will they not serve any functional purpose, they'll also rape the poo poo out of some trees condomless (Assange-style) for absolutely no reason except to poo poo on mother earth. Why don't you just pour some toxic waste in the river upstream from an impoverished African village while you're at it. God, you suck. Judgment: I hate busses. toanoradian - "Cord" While you point out that the baby had been burned by the fires of hell, you failed to mention that the very same baby grew up to be Dio. This is a major oversight that I feel cheapens the true emotional impact. Also, umbilical cords in literature are a symbol of the patriarchy anchoring women to their offspring and therefore casting them as a baby factory. Judgment: I hate coffee. bigmcgaffney - "Lionel Messi’s Righteous Left Foot" "Our local teenagers are weak, probably still nursing off their mother’s tits." So what's wrong if a mother wants to breastfeed her teenagers? It's natural, healthy, and it's her body so you shouldn't tell her how to use it. Just because you're the BIG MAN and think you know what's best doesn't mean you should go around judging women based on her choices. Judgment: I hate feet. Black Griffon - "The Girl and the Sordid Pictures" Dubstep is a gateway drug to rape and murder, and you as a writer should never write about it in a positive light in case there are children reading. There's a little thing called social responsibility, Black Griffon, and you would do well to remember that. Judgment: I hate viruses. budgieinspector - "The Last Resort" I hate you. Judgment: I hate you.
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Aug 27, 2012 03:43
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My favorite was Primoman's entry.
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Aug 27, 2012 06:03
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Hyphenated words count as if they were separated. Ex: Flim-flam is two words, not one.
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Aug 28, 2012 00:38
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Love the series of reviews, budgie. Good work. On the topic of Afghans and quotations/common phrases relating to Islam in Bad Seafood's story, speaking in Arabic is on the money. Some Afghan men were sentenced to 20 years in prison for translations that did not include the Arabic alongside the other languages, so keeping the original text--along with knowing it--is considered very important.
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Aug 28, 2012 08:06
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It's like people are just itching to get the tar beaten out of them and be burdened with extra rules. It's some sort of writing S&M going on in here.
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Aug 28, 2012 19:23
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areyoucontagious posted:I have a question regarding the physics limitation. Obviously things like teleportation and FTL travel is completely physics-breaking, but what if I want to have removal of an artifact from the surface of the moon cause a disruption in the lunar orbit? Is that considered breaking the laws of physics? It feels like it, but maybe I'm wrong? The idea is that ya'll will do research and stretch yourself. With that, you might want to look up the mass of the moon and see just how much energy it would require to displace it a significant amount. Hint: a loving lot.
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Aug 28, 2012 20:55
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areyoucontagious posted:Yeah I know I'll have to speak with the other judges, but it might be allowed if it were Ronnie James Dio riding a space dragon who slams the moon out of orbit with the power of his sick riffs. We'd still expect you to calculate the masses and forces required for all of that to happen (show your work) and include it as an annex to the story.
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Aug 28, 2012 21:02
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I was just being optimistic. I wanted a magical moon wizard to cast a spell and slam the moon into the surface of the earth.
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Sitting Here posted:But here I am writing all these words that aren't my next entry. For shame. Indeed.
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Aug 28, 2012 22:15
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Christ can't you worthless pieces of poo poo use PMs? Thank your new judges for pissing me off right now with black bars on my screen. Expect a paradigm shift this round.
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Aug 29, 2012 02:07
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Noah posted:I had a hyphenated word in my story, which would push that to 1,001 words. I changed that to preserve the 1,000 word count, but posting to own up to my misdeeds. If this DQs me, I'd prefer to be up front and honest about it. I get 1038 > : (
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Aug 29, 2012 04:39
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Paradigm shift: I am adding this to the prompt. In honor of my NZ friends here, I require the following. Change your stories accordingly. It must have a haka with the passion behind the video I'm going to post. The whole story must have that passion. Not the language, but that pulled from the gut rage. Put your guts into it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI6TRTBZUMM
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Aug 29, 2012 08:02
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The other judges want to wreck your poo poo as a passion. So I'll be the nice one. Noah is free to re-edit his story to include the parameters. I'd like to see that fire now, Noah, so you get a one-time, special, not to be repeated pass to edit your story to fit the parameters and make it awesome pass. You only get one edit, though. I'm watching. "Noah hosed around with this message at Aug 29, 2012 around 03:34" The rest of you, read up on what a haka really is. Interpret it as you will, and make us want to scream and hit our chests with your characters. To make it clearer to the dumber folks, I want to read this emotion:  in your story. Scream until it breaks your jaw. At least one human, weak, real moment. You have all the prompt you could possibly use for that and more. No stupid-rear end bleep bloop stories of things happening then sad thing happens and it ends. I want blood, sweat, and tears. Give it to me so you can give it to yourselves. That's true. Listen to him. vvv
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Aug 29, 2012 09:19
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areyoucontagious posted:Perfidy: Epilogue I'm ruling this story as eligible for judgement because it's metal as gently caress.
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Aug 30, 2012 20:41
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I'm breaking the rules as a triumvirate member. Suck on it. There will be four judges next week, at most. AYC's metal-as-gently caress entry with sexual physics softened my heart. He could win and make it three on his previous story, but he at least has a seat no matter who wins. I have spoken. Thunderdome, bitches.
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Aug 30, 2012 20:51
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:EASE OFF OR I WILL STEAL YOUR CAT AND GLUE TWIGS AND BRANCHES TO ITS FUR, SO YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING FOLLOWED BY A HUNGRY BUSH, YOU WHOREMONGERING PIGFUCKER. This post was rather rude, SurreptitiousMuffin, and I was rather offended by it. I had thought better of you, but I feel, in a way, betrayed by this lack in judgement. This thread is a nice, safe place for people to come together and discuss the writing of flash fiction pieces. Let's keep the discussion on target and polite as always.
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Sep 2, 2012 07:05
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If the extra spaces aren't intentional, you're free to fix them.
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Sep 3, 2012 00:43
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Whoever thought that hell would be so cold? I did well for an old tin-can sailor, but she wanted the bell in my soul. I've spoken to God on the mountain, and I swam in the Irish sea. I ate fire and drank from the Ganges, and I'll beg there for mercy for me.
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Sep 3, 2012 04:06
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sebmojo posted:Holy hell there's some writin' in that song. I'da asked you bitches to write this, but you just ain't on the level. Watch this an learn a thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C49H3aWdiK8
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Sep 3, 2012 06:57
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The delay is my fault, folks. I decided to do a concrete taste-test during a motorcycle ride. We'll have something for you when we drat well feel like it. There's big things coming next week though, so stay tuned.
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Sep 4, 2012 05:43
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Radioactive Bears posted:If I already have a loser's avatar, how am I supposed to know if I lost? 
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Sep 4, 2012 23:26
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Peel posted:A great and terrible weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I'm glad my carefully crafted, home made bread brought you some peace. Namaste.
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Sep 5, 2012 01:03
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Noah posted:May I get some feedback on the first one, at least? Beg...  ... "Bitch"
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Sep 5, 2012 02:32
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Martello posted:I didn't realize I had to break things down to kindergarten level just so the contestants can wrap their tiny shriveled brains around a simple concept. Balls balls balls ball--*pauses carefully to consider the next letter, weighing each in his mind for the artisting value*... Piss.
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Sep 5, 2012 03:21
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Stuporstar posted:However, I do approve of SurreptitiousMuffin calling dibs. That should prevent you all from choosing Down in the Park or something. I disapprove of Stuporstar existing. Does that count for anything?
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Sep 5, 2012 04:02
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Martello posted:So do these guys. Of course this isn't a witch hunt, but just as a laugh which will surely not have repercussions, has anyone here ever been or considered being a card-carrying member of the Communist Party?
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Sep 6, 2012 02:36
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Y Kant Ozma Post posted:Forgot my song, I'll pick my favorite Numan if I can which is "Exile" though I might pick another track from that album if I get stumped? Can I do that? Didn't see it used. So it's open.
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Sep 6, 2012 06:38
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toanoradian is loving vicious. I don't know how I feel about this.
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Sep 6, 2012 07:07
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 Welcome to Week Six: It Rhymes with Dicks.All-righty you schlubs. The other judges have bent my arm enough that I will actually stomach this prompt. Just know that I hate each and every one of you, and you're all a disappointment to your families. Judges: Myself, Stuporstar, and Nyarai Sign-up Deadline: 10:00PM US Eastern Time on Wed, Sep. 12. Submission Deadline: 10:00PM US ET on Fri, Sep. 14. Word Count: < 1000 Words. Prompt: A supernatural story that revolves around an exchange. Rules: No passive-aggressive and/or brooding protagonists. No fanfics. May God have mercy on my eyes for the next 30k words I'm going to have to read in this thread. Sign-up List: Black Griffon Y Kant Ozma Post Benagain Canadian Surf Club Sitting Here HiddenGecko Noah Radioactive Bears Fanky Malloons Capntastic Groghammer Wrageowrapper As Nero Danced Dr. Kloctopussy Jonked The Saddest Rhino MadRhetoric Bad Seafood TequilaJesus Baudolino bigmcgaffney kangaroojunk SurreptitiousMuffin Jimson Sleekly Chairchucker Brock Broner
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Sep 10, 2012 21:11
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Martello posted:I'm stepping down for the next four-five weeks due to ARMY TRAINING At least your hardware will aesthetically match your posts.
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Sep 10, 2012 21:36
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at Ft. Irwin, CA. If I can successfully smuggle my OPSEC-violating intelligent telephone out into the box I'll be checking progress and posting here and there. I think I might have to put it in my butt and I don't know that it will fit. 
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SUPERNATURAL POP QUIZ The points don't matter, but then again, you don't either. We'll be dropping the Q's and you'll be giving the A's in this round of Super-Spooky Supernaturality. Just press your buzzer (the reply button for those of you a little slow on the go) and state your answer. Those who know faster than the others get more e-cred, 'cause I know all you dummies are going to be hitting Google faster than a Chinese censor. But wait, there's a little more. You can't just give your answer. That's boring. You have to give your answer and tell us a little about it. Just a little blurb about your answer noting something quite interesting about it (This is totally not QI reference. Trust me. Would a Thunderdome judge lie to you?). So let's get down to business: 1) Made of smokeless fire, this type of being is notably met by a man on a journey to find the herb of immortality in a well known piece of literature. The journey takes him from paradise to hell, through the sea, and even to other worlds. What creature is this? 2) Tell me about this bird that's quite fond of liver. It's most famous for punishing a thief. 3) This German film is iconic and a staple of horror film culture, yet it was actually an unauthorized adaptation of Bram Stoker's Dracula. Let's hear about it.
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Sep 10, 2012 22:13
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:Fun fact: I know Klaus Kinski's grand-daughter. She lives in Wellington and works at an IT firm. Now that is interesting. Hear any good stories?
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Sep 10, 2012 22:29
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Round 2 Good job on the first round. 1) Djinn, of 1001 Nights fame. 2) The eagle that dined on Prometheus' liver. 3) It was indeed Nosferatu from '22. I tested the waters and found myself slick with goony sweat as I emerged. Let's up the difficulty a bit. 1) This son ate the sun. 2) Not quite evolved, this cock-faced mongrel has the power to make any man hard. 3) When you go too far North, they say you never hunt at night. This creature is why.
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Sep 10, 2012 22:53
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:e: the answer is the same for all three questions. Crafty devil. Everything but 3 got the answer I was looking for on round 2.
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Sep 10, 2012 23:52
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Wrageowrapper posted:Im in once more. Essentially, it has to come from a cultural mythology. The line is blurred because fantastical is also supernatural, but I'll set it like this for our purposes: a generic immortal who drinks blood is fantastical, but a vampire is supernatural. Vampires come from a broader mythology in some cultures.
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Sep 11, 2012 00:55
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That makes 25. Registration ends in about two and a half hours.
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Sep 13, 2012 00:36
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 04:34 |
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I fixed it. Anyone else I missed?
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Sep 13, 2012 01:00
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