sweeperbravo posted:

Just give the customer what they asked for and stop giving a poo poo

bringmyfishback posted:

FrozenVent posted:

Giving a customer something they've just told you they're allergic to is a bad, bad idea.

sweeperbravo posted:

This is true but the story is also STDH

Also, I might be wrong, but isn't gluten allergy not deadly the way that, say, a peanut allergy could be? I thought it was more along the lines of lactose intolerance where you have bad problems but you're not gonna need an epi-pen or something for it.

FrozenVent posted:

Giving a customer something they've just told you they're allergic to is a bad, bad idea.

bringmyfishback posted:

sweeperbravo posted:

This is true but the story is also STDH

Also, I might be wrong, but isn't gluten allergy not deadly the way that, say, a peanut allergy could be? I thought it was more along the lines of lactose intolerance where you have bad problems but you're not gonna need an epi-pen or something for it.

corn in the bible posted:

this is incredibly stupid, and also they make gluten-free bread

Khazar-khum posted:

Which is dry and crumbly and generally sucks.

Nth Doctor posted:

I've had some really good gluten free bread. A guy at my church bakes it for communion and it's loving delicious.

sweeperbravo posted:

This is true but the story is also STDH

Also, I might be wrong, but isn't gluten allergy not deadly the way that, say, a peanut allergy could be? I thought it was more along the lines of lactose intolerance where you have bad problems but you're not gonna need an epi-pen or something for it.

walrusman posted:

If she was actually allergic, she wouldn't be such a huge fan of bread.

Stairs posted:

Today I went to PetSmart with my 16 year old daughter, who was wearing an Adventure Time shirt. The cashier was a teenager and very adorable and also very friendly with her and complimented her shirt, which of course caused my very lesbian daughter to initiate a conversation with her. Then the cashier said "If you like Adventure Time then you must know what this is" and pulled up her u inform shirt to reveal a black shirt with a funny icon on it. My daughter said "Is that a Sagittarius symbol?" much to the cashier's chagrin. Then I made a mistake...

I said "No, that's Homestuck."

The cashier stared at me, mouth agape, and began what turned out to be a 10 minute ramble about Homestuck. She told us all about how she cosplays as (I think she said) Orion and how he has a broken horn or someshit. She was almost bouncing with joy that I, a 35 year old woman, knew about her fandom. She asked me how I knew about it and I told her that I'm a member of a forum that makes fun of Homestuck a lot, and it didn't phase her. She kept going. But the oddest thing was that every 30 seconds or so, as me and my kid kept inching toward the door, she'd pull her u inform shirt up to reveal that drat shirt again. Over and over she semi-flashed us to the tune of Crazy and I kept wondering when the manager would come out and ask her why she was doing that. Finally another customer came up and we were able to detach ourselves.

All my daughter could say is that she wished the girl had accidentally pulled up the wrong shirt.
All I could say was that I was glad she didn't start talking about her Fursona (she does work at a pet store after all.)

FrozenVent posted:

Facepalm Ranger posted:

"My very lesbian daughter" gives this one away.

"Hey everyone, this is my very lesbian daughter!"

sweeperbravo posted:

My Very Lesbian Daughter Just Served Us Nine [Pies]

Facepalm Ranger posted:

Also 35 year old with a 16 year old daughter? She would have had to been 15 when she gave birth meaning she got knocked up at the earliest at 14. Which isn't entirely unbelievable but just seems odd..

Facepalm Ranger posted:

Also 35 year old with a 16 year old daughter? She would have had to been 15 when she gave birth meaning she got knocked up at the earliest at 14. Which isn't entirely unbelievable but just seems odd..

Waffleman_ posted:

Nah, she would have been 19, which while still a teen pregnancy, is more reasonable.

SpookyLizard posted:

Also consider: shed lying about her age.

Pidmon posted:

Is that like The Gazebo Story, some dungeon and dragons STDH?

quote:

3

Needs To Pour Oil Over Troubled Water
Convenience Store | LA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

Customer: “I need to know where the motor oil is.”

(I tell her, but she comes back to the counter with a bottle of transmission fluid.)

Me: “Ma’am, that’s not oil. It’s transmission fluid.”

Customer: “What do you know about it? You’re a girl. Just ring me up.”

(I ring her up. She pays and goes outside, pops the hood of her car, and gets on the phone. Two minutes later, she’s back.)

Customer: “I needed oil. You sold me the wrong thing. I need to exchange this.”

Me: “Okay. Do you need some help? It’s slow. I can do this for you.”

Customer: “What, do you think you know about cars? I’m on the phone with my husband and he knows more about it than you do. Just do the d*** exchange so I can get some oil.”

(I do the exchange. She comes back up with oil.)

Me: “Ma’am, that’s 50 weight. You don’t want that, you want 40 weight.”

Customer: “This is what my husband said to get.”

Me: “Oookay. Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to help?”

Customer: “No. You’re a girl and you don’t know what you’re talking about. My husband works for [Company] and he knows way more about it than some clerk!”

Me: “Well, maybe he does, Ma’am, but he’s not here.”

Customer: “Just ring me up.”

Me: “Okay, if you’re sure you don’t need help.”

Customer: “I don’t need your help.”

Me: “Yes, Ma’am. You have a nice day, now.”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(I watch through the front window as she went back to her SUV and smugly poured her oil… into her radiator. I wonder what her husband said when her engine blew up halfway across the causeway.)

Khazar-khum posted:

You can't trust sheds and gazebos. Garages, now, they're hard working, good guys. Maybe the customers in this story need one.

Rudager posted:

But I'm sure the customer picked up the big 1L bottle with the long neck that said "Transmission Fluid" in big letters and not the 1-5L fat, stubby, bottle that said "Engine Oil" in big letters.

Rudager posted:

But I'm sure the customer picked up the big 1L bottle with the long neck that said "Transmission Fluid" in big letters and not the 1-5L fat, stubby, bottle that said "Engine Oil" in big letters.

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Man, I should adapt a 'poo poo that did happen' into a 'poo poo that didn't...'.

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Man, I should adapt a 'poo poo that did happen' into a 'poo poo that didn't...'. That oil story reminded me of when I was working in the Zellers (it was like Target but Canadian) restaurant, some old guy in a motorized wheelchair fell over, spilling all of his food. I left the cash register, helped him up, made sure he was ok, and went back to the register. A woman who was waiting there, as I was ringing her up, said to me 'if you were my employee, I would have fired you.' I guess she had been waiting for a bit?

In fairytale land, I would immediately have a brilliant and mentally disarming reply that not only puts her in her place, but causes her to rethink her entire life.

In reality, my face turned red, I stayed silent and got mad about it later.

dregan posted:

"Madam, if you were my employer, I would quit"

quote:

HELLO Reddit do I have a loving story for you guys. Let me back up to the first meeting so I can clear things up for you guys. I live in the on 42nd street. Here is what the entrance of the building I live in looks like: two doors. One from outside to inside and another from inside to elevator room. The ladies walked as I was right behind them and they were talking and walking slow. As they approached the door they were about 2 feet away from it I was about 1 foot away from it ( I take big steps) I said " let me get that for you " and grab the door and held it open for them. D - first letter of her name- responds with a wow what a gentleman thank you! And her friend A, responds with a who knew they still exist. D is Colombian and Italian.. A is pure Colombian. Both are equally hot ( which is where I had a problem that I'll explain in a bit. Now we are where the elevators are and I responded to their gentleman crap with a " it's a lucky night for you then " and D laughs and asks if I live in this building since she's never seen me before. I respond with I just moved here but I'm definitely looking forward to seeing you more often. She giggles ( notice how I'm not giving A attention it was an accident, I forgot that there were two hot Girls ) we talk for about 30 more seconds I get both names and ages and apt# D realized im on floor 55 she's on 58 and offers me up for a loving drink. This is where my story ended on the previous post. I accept her offer and tell her I'll be up in a bit. I just got out the gym I gotta poo poo shower shave....

Initial Advice: Although I didn't see the girls faces as I got ahead of them when walking, I still held the door, and they ended up being hot and I got a
conversation and an invite. Be a gentleman at all times idc how unoriginal it is.

When I got D and A's name I asked for their names first and held out my hand. I didn't do a man handshake I put my four fingers under each girls( separately) and for a second just lightly brushed my thumb on top of their four finger, both smiled when I did this.

Show loving time: 30 minutes later I'll try to recall as much as I can from this night, I was way too excited but held it in until sexy time ( borat voice) Two beautiful girls, one loving guy. I walk into her apartment and tell both of them as they greet me "tonight's source of entertainment is here"

Her apartment has a mini bar in it so we begin to drink and make small talk. D has curly hair and I have a thing for girls with curly hair and A had straight hair, both equally hot but I was attracted to D more. This lead to a small difficulty which gave me a benefit after. Me and D talked and drank for most of the night I of course included A in 75% of the time. We went from conversations about schools ( they both graduated ) about life, to conversations about sex. I of course tease D the owner of the apartment about her inviting random guys over. They both have tattoos which allows for easy kino. I of course provide other kino as we danced for a bit ( half assed drunk way) and I hugged them both as I came in.

A not getting enough attention from me before tries to justify her worthiness on the topic of sex. She starts telling me insane stories and shows me how flexible she is. I get turned on at this point. A gets up from the floor and asks me if I've ever seen something like that before and the convo goes as Me: that's nice, but it's all about what goes down in the bedroom"

D laughing : "don't be a heartbreaker there's only one of you and two of us.

Me: ( I'm feeling really comfortable in this environment not the 2 girls one guy environment but the previous conversations we had were on quite the emotional level) Barney said it best sharing is caring.

A and D are are next to each other they look at each other and just smile. I'm about 3 steps away from both of them and the bedroom is like 2 feet away from me. A takes the initiative as I walk closer to her and kinda grabs my shirt in a rough but sexual way and kisses me, D starts taking off my pants ( in a half drunk rear end way) ... We killed a bottle of Grants whiskey and I was so loving horny. We end up on the king sized bed pretty quickly. It was hard for me to address both girls simultaneously I won't lie. It was quite difficult but I got the hang of it 2-3 minutes in. There was a lot of head and making out, even between the girls. As weird as it sounds they were like making out on my penis you could say. I brought condoms of course and I lasted for about 6-7 minutes of pure sex but I was able to get hard again ( thank you alcohol ) pretty quick it was weird and hosed the living brains out of A , indeed she was loving flexible. What worked the best was while I hosed one I kissed and fingered the other. The head was amazing towards the end my god. We were so drunk we ended up just falling asleep after about an hour of kissing, oral sex, fingering and loving. I woke up at 5 am to about a gazillion text messages from my family asking me where the hell am I. I forgot I had a family dinner. So I did mess up there. Overall it was a night to cherish/ never forget and I honestly wouldnt be able to do it without you guys on seddit. I seriously opened about 7 sets on my way to get breakfast for the ladies. When I came back and we ate and talked some more about how unforgettable the night would be, they refused to give me their numbers which got me at first. They told me they talked about it as I left and want to remember this moment without any later screw ups. They continued to tell me how last night was one of their greatest nights ( I'm here like poo poo My dick won't be up for another month ) On my way out though D told me A was just a friend and lives in Brooklyn, and that D owns the apartment which I alrsady knew ( she knew where most of the poo poo in the apt was) She told me I can come up for " a drink " as she puts it in quotes any time I want. I kiss her and tell her " you better be very thirsty for the months to come". I found me a FWB.
Overall advice: I was phased by both women and just me so it was scary at first but I didn't show it. I gave D about 60% of the attention and A 40%. This worked well in my favor as A kinda brought up most of the sex stuff I guess to prove her worth to me. I could feel her stare at me when I would talk to D.

Take every chance you can loving get idc if the female is ugly or not, Try to make them smile by holding a door or offering some help. Even if the women you're doing it for doesn't see, chances are other women will.

Make the girl laugh, I realized the whole night D and A were laughing even while we were dancing. It helped ease the mood of me being a stranger and the emotional conversations helped build RAPPORT. College girls are down for bullshit but not bullshit conversations about little kid poo poo. We talked about emotionally vehement things it was quite amazing.

I'm exhausted right now and I have to once again shower. I wrote this as fast as I could and I'm hung over so if there's any problem let me know I'll be more then glad to clear it up.

I love you seddit, bros and family members.