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Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


As I inch ever-so-slowly towards the grave, I've noticed a corresponding explosion of babies on the walls of my Facebook friends. Most of them are, as you might expect, in the "[consonant]+ Ayden" family, but some are...special.

One girl, who I remember having told everyone in our sixth grade class that she'd recently lost her virginity to her step-brother, recently had her first kid.

She named him Airyen.

It is pronounced, as you might expect, "Aryan." Sieg heil!

My friend's cousin also popped out a new one in the past year. She wanted to buck the Hayden/Jayden/Aiden trend, so she named him BLAYDEN. I suppose we should be grateful that she didn't go with Raiden.


What other name abominations have you witnessed?

RULES:

- The "no internet detective-ing" rule applies double here. No one needs to embarrass or upset someone based on what their name is. That sucks.

- Don't make up stupid poo poo.

- Don't be a silly butthead and post usernames, gamer tags, and so on. This is for real names.

[BB EDIT] Don't post a Le-a or A-a (Ledasha, Adasha) type name. No one has ever been named that. If someone told you they met someone with that name they are lying to you and are probably racist. [/BB EDIT]

1/11/13 EDIT: Anyone posting forms of the names above, or similar stupid racist poo poo that everyone knows is not true, will be reported to the mods because goddammit read, that's why. If you do so, you'd better have proof- photographs, birth announcement, articles written by actual news outlets. See this post for an example of what I mean. Or check http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.asp if you're not sure whether to post or not.

Also don't post "Abcde" at all. It's causing too many fights. You can post Abcde since it actually seems to be more or less legit (http://www.vocativ.com/culture/society/people-named-abcde/) but if people start fighting about it again, I swear I will steal your reproductive cells and make test tube babies out of them and name them Unique Special MyQynnzeie and Rayzyn Brann.

Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 00:28 on Dec 15, 2014

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Daikatana Ritsu
Aug 1, 2008



I once saw a man named Kewl p00p.

Julius CSAR
Oct 3, 2007

Switches Set


Daikatana Ritsu posted:

I once saw a man named Kewl p00p.

I don't think Xbox live gamer tags count...

I went to High School with a kid named Richard Rash, lovely.

SALT CURES HAM
Jan 3, 2011


I've been talking to a girl on OKCupid who named her son Raiden. As in, Metal Gear Solid 2 Raiden.

Celery Face
Feb 18, 2012


There is a woman from a local radio station whose name is Anita Bath. At least that one is tame compared to the other prank call names she could've ended up with.

Edward_Lapine
Jan 21, 2011

I thought you were actually gay, I mean...
So did I, for a bit, but then I found out about the prohibitive standards of hygiene, and all that DANCING!


But when I was a young, dumb teenager, my friends and I had a brief stint with prank phone calling people with funny names in the phone book. The most amusing one we found was Kermit Burger.

The kicker? 5 years later, my friend was working at Sears in the electronics department at the time. He was ringing out a guy buying a TV and lo and behold, that man buying a new TV was the very same Kermit Burger.

Cool Buff Man
Jul 30, 2006

bitch

Jeff probably

Problem!
Jan 1, 2007

I am the queen of France.


Every so often I see a name pop up on my friend's Facebook that drives me batshit. This girl's name is spelled Aaricka. Why couldn't her parents just spell it Erica like normal people do?

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


Aquatic Giraffe posted:

Every so often I see a name pop up on my friend's Facebook that drives me batshit. This girl's name is spelled Aaricka. Why couldn't her parents just spell it Erica like normal people do?

BECAUSE MY BABY IS SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!

Thought of another one- there was a girl I worked with one whose name was Velocitay.

Asiina
Apr 26, 2011

No going back


Grimey Drawer

Just today I got an email that someone in our department had a baby and named it Alasdair

synthetik
Feb 28, 2007

I forgive you, Will. Will you forgive me?


Do nicknames count? I knew a girl who's last name was Papp - she was affectionately known as "Little Smear"

If not, I had a babysitter growing up who's name was Spingsong Sunshine.

grainofsand
Feb 20, 2008


A music teacher I knew back in the 80s named his four children Nova, Galaxa, Atla and Renaissance.

Untrustable
Mar 16, 2009







.

Untrustable has a new favorite as of 07:33 on Apr 25, 2018

Suzuki Method
Mar 11, 2012



Big burly guy came into my mom's work when I was a kid, name was Blissflower. He never changed it because it was a-boy-named-Sue type deal to him, but he went by Brian.

Polish
Jul 5, 2007
I touch myself at night

Went to middle school with a kid named Hawkeye. His parents were Native American or something. He was kind of a dick.

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010



Soiled Meat

Had a friend of a friend at my high school named Richard Wang, AKA Dick Wang. I don't think he got made fun of all that much but it was still funny. E: He went by Dick too, I don't think I ever heard him called Richard.

Also not so much terrible as bizarre, but my friend's uncle is named Spicer

C-Euro has a new favorite as of 11:37 on Sep 13, 2012

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


A friend of mine back in Toronto who works with recently-immigrated children told me about this cute little girl from Singapore whose name was Rammit Deep.

Cpaka
Jun 6, 2007



My SO's job exposes her to people with some very interesting names.

A small sampling of the favorites:
Nigerian Boatman
Confessor Sanchez
Precious Angel Only

The best (worst?) are three siblings - Loveth, Wisdom and God Power. These are real names. Real people have these names.

EDIT: Her favorite is Speshul K, and she has a name for every letter. And most countries.

Cpaka has a new favorite as of 04:17 on Sep 13, 2012

PringleCreamEgg
Jul 2, 2004


Ran into a person by the name of Nitshit. They were from Africa, so I assumed it would be pronounced something along the lines of 'nee-tee-she', only to find out it was pronounced just how it looked. Nit poo poo.

It makes me wonder about english names that sound like something hilarious or offensive in other languages.

David Copperfield
Mar 14, 2004


im david copperfield


I had a friend whose last name is Dick. In middle school, he was famous for exclaiming "I wish I had a normal last name, like 'Johnson'!"

Donkwich
Feb 28, 2011




Grimey Drawer

hello, i am adolf hitler.

This was earlier today from the thread about Penn Jillette's house

Donkwich posted:

So you support parents giving children names that make people cringe, affect the child's psychology and can affect the child's acceptance into school, housing, or employment?

Your name might be fine and neat, but the stupid things some people name their kids all for the sake of unique snowflakery can gently caress up a childhood.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


Donkwich posted:

hello, i am adolf hitler.

This was earlier today from the thread about Penn Jillette's house

Moxie Crimefighter is a wicked name. In theory, anyways.

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012



Tony is a terrible name for terrible people.

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me



My very first class I ever taught, one of the young women came up to me and asked why no one could say her daughter's name right. I asked her what it was, and she said the girl's name was "Essence." Not a difficult name, so I asked how she spelled it.
"Exxenxe."

When I tried to politely explain that no one could say it right because those letters don't make those sounds, she kind of just bobbed her head, "Oh" and never came back. You asked!

My father met a woman during a pre-sentence investigation whose name was spelled "L-a," but pronounced "La dash ah." HER PARENTS PRONOUNCED THE DASH!

I personally felt Trashonda Jean just sounded unfortunate. It almost sounds like a sentence, like a way to say you got crap on your pants.

Special mention to Demon Slaughter for having an absolutely amazing name.

Baytor
Oct 4, 2010

Well, never mind! Commando missions are much more fun than girls anyway!


A friend claims that he once had dealings with a guy called Boyd Challenger.

redcheval
Dec 26, 2009

That's a little better.



Lotish posted:

My father met a woman during a pre-sentence investigation whose name was spelled "L-a," but pronounced "La dash ah." HER PARENTS PRONOUNCED THE DASH!

I've heard this one a million times so it's hard not to call bullshit on this. Are you sure your dad wasn't pulling your leg?

When my older sister was going through high school there was a guy in her class named Richard Head. Apparently "Dick Head" stuck, too.

Xixox
Nov 8, 2009


Used to keep a binder full of amusing customer names at my old job. Only one I can remember now is Juwanna C. Areola

Now, I don't know if her parents named her that, or if she got a name change on a lark, but that was indeed what was on her state-issued ID.

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me



I have never known my father to lie about anything (not even Santa Claus), and he now and again let me read the declassified PSI reports, so I have seen other names that seemed similarly silly. Perhaps you've heard it so many times because there's someone out there that really did it? I dunno. My father and his coworkers kept a list of names they wanted to remember from client's past, and it was off that list. If it was bullshit, it would have been one of the other investigators putting it on the list.

Sir Sidney Poitier
Aug 14, 2006

My favourite actor


I taught a 4 year old girl called Zion Shitta.

A friend of mine works at a company, a client of whose is called Puren Kunt.

shock.wav
May 25, 2009


Processing new enrolments of kids at work I have noticed a gradual bastardization of the once proud name, Taylor

Taylah, Tailah, Tayler, Taylahh, Tayyler, Tayla, Taila

Stop making up your own way of spelling existing names! It doesn't make your child unique! It just sentences them to a life of correcting people on the spelling of a common name!

Autolycus
Nov 11, 2005
Motherfuckin' Bruce Campbell

I think my favorite name I've encountered during a long retail life was Juicy Boner. I couldn't help myself after she left the store. I was laughing hysterically for a few minutes. Poor woman, I really wish I could have kept that credit card receipt.

I also wish I could meet her parents.

Chamale
Jul 11, 2010

I'm helping!






I hope this kid changes his name to Oskar Schindler or something when he turns 18.

I've known people named Hope, Faith, Spring, Summer, Talon, and Dragonwing.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese, and a garden full of trees.

redjenova posted:

I've heard this one a million times so it's hard not to call bullshit on this. Are you sure your dad wasn't pulling your leg?

When my older sister was going through high school there was a guy in her class named Richard Head. Apparently "Dick Head" stuck, too.

I have heard this too. A mate of my brother's has a child called "La-la". When I asked why they would name their kid La La, (perhaps after the Tellytubbie), he corrected me, and they too pronounce the dash. But there's no space, so instead of being "la dash la", her name is "ladashla"

Poor little stupidly named girl.

Giant Isopod
Jan 30, 2010

Bathynomus giganteus

Yams Fan

Playing around searching the social security death index a few years back, I found one gentleman named Electric Buttram

I can't seem to find site site I was using, but this search confirms his existence

mewbert
Jun 12, 2011
hatsuune miku wishes you

a happy and safe halloween


Grink

Andante
Jul 3, 2008


I personally knew a guy named Rivendell, though I don't remember what his last name was. He had been named after his father, who abandonded him at a young age, and chose a new name from Lord of the Rings.

Inco
Apr 3, 2009

I have been working out! My modem is broken and my phone eats half the posts I try to make, including all the posts I've tried to make here. I'll try this one more time.

Had a guy give me his business card, and his name was Prescott C. Ensign. I could swear I got an email from that guy offering me Viagra on the cheap.

After my mom left her old job, the guy that got brought in as her replacement was a man named Draven Darke.

Yeti Yeti Yeti
Mar 26, 2010


When I was a TA back in high school, I had to file a bunch of students' files or something and I came across one person whose full first name (not first and middle) was Maria Margarita. It's not the worst name ever, especially since she probably just goes by Maria, but it's a bit silly.

Cpt. Spring Types
Feb 19, 2004

Wait, what?

Andante posted:

I personally knew a guy named Rivendell, though I don't remember what his last name was. He had been named after his father, who abandonded him at a young age, and chose a new name from Lord of the Rings.

In high school, I knew a brother and sister named Arwen and Beren, and always thought that was kinda weird. They didn't pick their own names, though.

The worst one I've come across in the wild was at an Arby's drive-thru window in Wyoming: Areola. I wanted to laugh at her so badly, but I also wanted to cry over the fact that someone would name their child that.

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Grape Juice Vampire
Aug 1, 2009


My sister went to middle school with a brother and sister named Prince and Princess, respectively. They were both dicks. I've also heard of a girl around campus whose name is Diamond Million Dollar Bates.

Grape Juice Vampire has a new favorite as of 18:50 on Sep 27, 2012

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