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CoalforChristmas
Apr 8, 2009


I went to high school with a guy named Naquann Range . He hated his name and said that as soon as he could he was going to change it.

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Mincher
May 12, 2008


Asiina posted:

Just today I got an email that someone in our department had a baby and named it Alasdair

That's a legitimate Scottish spelling of the name.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


funkybottoms posted:


My mother was a NICU nurse and came across a number of good names:

"Ma'am, before you leave the hospital, we need a name to put on the birth certificate."
"Oh, but I did name her"
"Um, it just says 'female' Lastname here, ma'am."
"No, that's my baby's name"
"Female?"
"No, Female (fuh-mall-ee)"
..........................
"Ma'am, are you sure you want to name your baby that? It's going to be really rough on her, and other children are probably going to tease her about it."
"But Diarrhea is such a pretty word!"



And at the end of the baby's arm.... WAS A HOOK!

And the call was coming FROM INSIDE THE BUILDING!

Cricken_Nigfops
Oct 25, 2011

CROM!


Used to work with a woman whose Brother's name was Mike. Not too bad, but considering their family name was Quach it was probably ill advised.

Aristurtle Records
Jun 9, 2006

live at random, live as best one can

A few years ago there was a news story about a nine year old girl in New Zealand who was made a ward of court so she could change her name from Talula does the Hula from Hawaii.

Article - http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7522952.stm

I like the selection of names that were allowed:

"Officials had blocked Sex Fruit, Keenan Got Lucy and Yeah Detroit, he said, but Number 16 Bus Shelter, Violence and Midnight Chardonnay had been allowed."

In my mind those three are siblings

funkybottoms
Oct 28, 2010

Funky Bottoms is a land man

Breetai posted:

And at the end of the baby's arm.... WAS A HOOK!

And the call was coming FROM INSIDE THE BUILDING!

To be honest, I never realized that those were both common urban legends- I only looked them up after seeing your comment. My mom wasn't really a joke person, and she definitely talked about a number of sad/awful names she encountered, but I might be remembering some childhood dinner conversation incorrectly and she was recounting another nurse's story or something. Growing up where I did, though, those names didn't unlikely at all.

I promise that the other stuff is 100% accurate.

Stairs
Oct 12, 2004


When my oldest daughter was in kindergarten she had a friend called Dasani and when I mispronounced it like the water her mom went into a tirade. Apparently I was supposed to know it was pronounced "Dass-ah-knee". I understand the desire to be unique (I have a daughter named Eowyn) but don't get butthurt when people misunderstand how it's said!

Wrestlepig
Feb 25, 2011

my mum says im cool



Toilet Rascal

Sterling Buchanan.

treiz01
Jan 2, 2008

There is little that makes me happier than taking drugs. Perhaps administering them, designing and carrying out experiments that bend the plane of what we consider reality.


I know a girl named Me'Lisa who is engaged to a guy named Shadoe Rowe. They have named their children Lestat and Zephyr...

Millions
Sep 13, 2007

Do you believe in heroes?


I went to school with a Harold Ball who went by Harry. Also attending our school was a Sundee Barbee.
At camp one year I had a Peter Hunter in my cabin.

Zentrenched
Jun 7, 2005

It's all noise to me.

Sambuca

Bet that kid's conception has a tale attached to it.

Also met a dude called Jesus Love, he was awesome.

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me



My cousin's first name is Shara, and she almost married a man whose last name was Johnson. Then she ended up marrying a guy with the last name Mann. Dodged a bullet there!

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"



Met a girl named ALGEBRA once...

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012





I swear there was a girl named Chlamydia at my middle school.

pookel
Oct 27, 2011



Ultra Carp

I once got a telemarketing call from a woman who identified herself as a name that must have been spelled LaZanya, or something, but was pronounced exactly like "lasagna."

In this region (North Dakota) a lot of Native American families have translated surnames (like White Buffalo or Crow Feather). This is not mockworthy stuff, of course, but I did laugh inappropriately when I saw a news story about a dude who was convicted of manslaughter for accidentally killing his brother-in-law because he was messing around with a gun and didn't know it was loaded. His name was John Henry Knows His Gun.

My mother once taught a student named Eugene Pool who went by Gene. Yep.

I went to school with twins named Stormy and Skye.

There is a reporter for Reuters, or at least there used to be, named Opheera McDoom. It's not a pseudonym; I know someone who worked with her for a while. (I would say this is more "awesome" than "terrible" though.)

There is at least one child in the town where I live named Raistlin (as in Raistlin Majere from DragonLance). I have seen a Raistlin listed as ringbearer in three different wedding announcements, and I sincerely hope that it's the same kid.

usb teledildonics
Oct 10, 2009

those who came before me

My sister's name is Paartheny. She was named after the family dog which was named after a tombstone her dad saw a long time ago.

mds2
Apr 8, 2004


Australia: 131114
Canada: 18662773553
Germany: 08001810771
India: 8888817666
Japan: 810352869090
Russia: 0078202577577
UK: 08457909090
US: 1-800-273-8255


I've met several Kevin's. Kevin is the worst name.

The Monkey Man
Jun 10, 2012

HERD U WERE TALKIN SHIT

LaDynasty
Bayshine
Tajheim

Also, Utah is a hotbed of bizarre names: http://wesclark.com/ubn/

King Vidiot
Feb 17, 2007

The video arcade made me what I am today!



mds2 posted:

I've met several Kevin's. Kevin is the worst name.

Kevin's pretty bad. About as bad as something like "Trevor", but get this: I overheard somebody at work the other day calling for their son Trevin. I don't know if that's the proper spelling, but yeah. They combined two insufferable names into one that's even worse.

They probably spell it "Trayvon", too.

Elim Garak
Aug 5, 2010



Chamale posted:

I hope this kid changes his name to Oskar Schindler or something when he turns 18.

I've known people named Hope, Faith, Spring, Summer, Talon, and Dragonwing.

Hope, Faith, Charity, Mercy, etc. are all actually pretty old names. I know one set of sisters in their 70's named Hope and Faith and another in their late 20's named Mercy and Grace. The ones in their 20's are actually descendants of Mercy Otis Warren.

Reformed Pessimist
Apr 18, 2007


A friend of mine just named his newborn son Ronin. His girlfriend gets very defensive if anyone asks why they chose that name.

My stepbrother also almost named his first daughter Espen. Luckily his wife caught on that he was trying to essentially name her after ESPN and shot it down.

Stairs
Oct 12, 2004


Just thought of another one from my old state. There was a young black guy in my neighborhood named Brittish George (with the two "t"'s)and his daughter's name was Brittanica.

Synonamess Botch
Jun 5, 2006

dicks are for my cat


I worked with a girl named Christopher. Actually I think that's pretty cool, and she was really cool about it too so it's not terrible at all. But definitely different.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.


shock.wav posted:

Processing new enrolments of kids at work I have noticed a gradual bastardization of the once proud name, Taylor

Taylah, Tailah, Tayler, Taylahh, Tayyler, Tayla, Taila

Stop making up your own way of spelling existing names! It doesn't make your child unique! It just sentences them to a life of correcting people on the spelling of a common name!
Talia is actually a real name and is much older than Taylor: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talia_%28given_name%29


Constipated posted:

Aida
Arian
Ben Breedin
Golda
Tavish
As are Tavish and Golda.

For content, I knew a guy who while his wife was pregnant with twin boys kept threatening to name them Microwave and Just In Time. They ended up being christened Michael Wave and Justin Time.

jojoinnit has a new favorite as of 15:58 on Sep 13, 2012

Arschlochkind
Mar 28, 2010



Breetai posted:

On a similar note; a Singaporean ex-client named Dorkus.

We didn't know her last name, but every time we talked about her we referred to her as Ms Malorkus.

My best friend's stepmom is named Dorcas, turns out it's a Biblical name. It just sounds awful for any woman under the age of 120.

My mom says she went to high school with a guy named Harry Heine.

One of my friends told me she's going to grad school with a guy named Ward Goolsby. I like to imagine him going everywhere looking like he's dressed for his yacht club and sounding like this guy.

Iluvlortab
Jul 19, 2008

by Y Kant Ozma Post


1.) Destiny Renaissance (Last name withheld)
2.) Twilight Popp (last name withheld)

HellCopter
Feb 9, 2012


College Slice

I went to a camp that had, on a big plaque, the name of the camp's founder: Richard A. Boner. His name was Dick Boner.

Iluvlortab
Jul 19, 2008

by Y Kant Ozma Post


I went to a job interview and the interviewer's name was Mike Hunt. I had a really difficult time not laughing. When the secretary told me his name I said, "Are you serious?"

Triangle
Jul 30, 2011

Heh. If I was actually unchill, I would be using all caps and/or exclamation marks in my posts, but I am chill. Clowns like you make me laugh, that's what clowns do. Added to my ignore list.


I know a girl called Kesäheinä Meri-Tuuli Laakso, which is Summerhay Sea-Breeze Valley when translated literally. It sounds almost as weird in finnish.

Triangle has a new favorite as of 16:34 on Sep 13, 2012

Jenny Angel
Oct 24, 2010

Out of Control
Hard to Regulate
Anything Goes!


Lipstick Apathy

Incoherent Moron posted:

After my mom left her old job, the guy that got brought in as her replacement was a man named Draven Darke.

It's good to see a former 90's superhero reintegrating into society.

So I'm not sure how much I'm bungling this concept, but from the time I spent in China it seems like young, educated, English-speaking people there get to choose their own "English name". Which makes sense given there's a lot of failed awkward attempts by native English speakers to pronounce their actual names.

Most people I ran into chose fairly normal names, maybe skewing a bit old-fashioned on the guys' end. But one guy in his 20's who worked at the same lab as I did was named Paladin. He said he was playing Diablo II and he decided it was a badass word and ought to be his name.

letthereberock
Sep 4, 2004



I was scrolling through my company's email directory the other day and I saw a woman named Gay Cox.

Gay Cox

You know how they say you should google yourself every year to make sure no one is using your identity? That must not be a fun activity for her.

Another one, my brother used to work for a company that arranged trips and tours for senior citizens. He swears that once there was a woman who signed up named Ima Slutsky. It is very possible he was loving with me, but I want to believe its true.

Pochoclo
Feb 4, 2008

No...

Clapping Larry

What's with the hilariously made-up names? Don't you guys have a law on names? Over here, the government has to approve the name, and you can't go much overboard - you can't use names that are too foreign, like John, for example (we talk Spanish), but you can name someone Karen. No excessively made up names either - can't name someone Worpblox, they just won't let you put the kid into the civil registry, so he won't exist legally unless you choose a normal name. Changing a letter is usually fine, except for example if you were to name someone Herica/Eerica/Ericaa instead of Erica. Erika is fine, in that example.

EDIT:

Actually, here's our law:

http://tustramiteshoy.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Ley-del-Nombre.pdf

quote:

(... you can't inscribe ...)

1) Names that are extravagant, ridiculous, contrary to our traditions, that express or signify political or ideological tendencies, or that may cast doubt on the named person's sex.

2) Foreign names, except those spanishized through use, or if they're the names of the named's parents, if they're of easy pronunciation and have no proper translation into the national language. (blah blah diplomats and missionaries are an exception)

3) Last names as first name
4) First names identical to other living siblings
5) More than three names

Pochoclo has a new favorite as of 17:18 on Sep 13, 2012

Omp
Sep 8, 2012

by T. Mascis


Freddie Mercury Roberts

Iluvlortab
Jul 19, 2008

by Y Kant Ozma Post


Pochoclo posted:

What's with the hilariously made-up names? Don't you guys have a law on names? Over here, the government has to approve the name, and you can't go much overboard - you can't use names that are too foreign, like John, for example (we talk Spanish), but you can name someone Karen. No excessively made up names either - can't name someone Worpblox, they just won't let you put the kid into the civil registry, so he won't exist legally unless you choose a normal name. Changing a letter is usually fine, except for example if you were to name someone Herica/Eerica/Ericaa instead of Erica. Erika is fine, in that example.

I present to you: Moon unit and Dweezel Zappa as evidence that there is no law.

Pochoclo
Feb 4, 2008

No...

Clapping Larry

Iluvlortab posted:

I present to you: Moon unit and Dweezel Zappa as evidence that there is no law.

Just posted my country's law on the subject, feel free to use it to cut down on retarded names, no need to send me money.

Seriously now, on the one hand, I'm not too keen on my country's law because it's rather strict, but on the other hand, apparently in the US you can name someone "Dogblaster Millenium Punkrock", and it can be a girl too.

Inco
Apr 3, 2009

I have been working out! My modem is broken and my phone eats half the posts I try to make, including all the posts I've tried to make here. I'll try this one more time.

Iluvlortab posted:

I present to you: Moon unit and Dweezel Zappa as evidence that there is no law.

Funny thing about Dweezil's name, it's actually not his birth name. The attending nurse flat out refused to put "Dweezil Zappa" on the BC, so Frank just cobbled together a name out of musicians': Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa. When Dweezil was 5, he all but forced his parents to have his name legally changed.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.


letthereberock posted:

Another one, my brother used to work for a company that arranged trips and tours for senior citizens. He swears that once there was a woman who signed up named Ima Slutsky. It is very possible he was loving with me, but I want to believe its true.
My brother had a teacher called Slutsky. Its an Eastern European Jewish name I think?

Similar to Mike Hunt before, I worked with a realtor named Matt Locke.

I always wonder why people who have a *son style last name would use it for a first name. Why would the Paulmans name their son Paul?

Pochoclo
Feb 4, 2008

No...

Clapping Larry

jojoinnit posted:

I always wonder why people who have a *son style last name would use it for a first name. Why would the Paulmans name their son Paul?

That's a throwback to patronymics, which was a popular naming scheme around the dark ages. In Wales, for example (and many other places) you had Corbyn ap Bran - Corbyn, the son of Bran.
Saxons in positions of power sometimes traced back their lineage all the way back to Woden.

Being someone's son was a big deal, so we still have echoes from those times in the form of *son.

ibntumart
Mar 18, 2007

Good, bad. I'm the one with the power of Shu, Heru, Amon, Zehuti, Aton, and Mehen.


College Slice

OP, can you add a rule against racist bullshit naming stories in your post? At least for the more obvious idiocy like the entries below, most of which are so common as to have their own Snopes entries:
http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.asp
http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/le-a.asp


Lotish posted:

My father met a woman during a pre-sentence investigation whose name was spelled "L-a," but pronounced "La dash ah." HER PARENTS PRONOUNCED THE DASH!

BrigadierSensible posted:

I have heard this too. A mate of my brother's has a child called "La-la". When I asked why they would name their kid La La, (perhaps after the Tellytubbie), he corrected me, and they too pronounce the dash. But there's no space, so instead of being "la dash la", her name is "ladashla"

Poor little stupidly named girl.

funkybottoms posted:

My mother was a NICU nurse and came across a number of good names:

"Ma'am, before you leave the hospital, we need a name to put on the birth certificate."
"Oh, but I did name her"
"Um, it just says 'female' Lastname here, ma'am."
"No, that's my baby's name"
"Female?"
"No, Female (fuh-mall-ee)"
..........................
"Ma'am, are you sure you want to name your baby that? It's going to be really rough on her, and other children are probably going to tease her about it."
"But Diarrhea is such a pretty word!"

No one has ever done any of these. Ever. And you will notice usually it's not the person himself/herself who says they themselves encountered this, it's a friend or relative. The race of the people in the stories above may have been removed, but that doesn't change their frankly awful racist origin.

jojoinnit posted:

Constipated posted:

Aida
Arian
Ben Breedin
Golda
Tavish
As are Tavish and Golda.

Aida's a perfectly real and normal name, too. A name isn't terrible just because it's foreign as opposed to traditional to English-speaking parts of the world.

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jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.


Pochoclo posted:

That's a throwback to patronymics, which was a popular naming scheme around the dark ages. In Wales, for example (and many other places) you had Corbyn ap Bran - Corbyn, the son of Bran.
Saxons in positions of power sometimes traced back their lineage all the way back to Woden.

Being someone's son was a big deal, so we still have echoes from those times in the form of *son.
I know what the origins of those names are, but thanks. I was talking about the oddity of the Paulmans saddling their son as Paul Paulman, or the Kirkmans kid being named Kirk. Its the repetition that looks odd. Michael Michaelson. Kirk Kirkman. That sort of thing.

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